"Sirius, that's a little too far, don't you think?" Remus said questionably.
"There's no such thing when it comes to Snivellus," Sirius said, saying the word Snivellus like he was saying the words dog poo.
"I'm all for it," James said, always up for a prank.
Peter just shoved more cheese into his mouth.
"All right, let's get this started," Sirius said, ignoring Remus' concern.
"First we have to figure out how to get Snape alone, so we can corner him without any interruptions. Next, we have to practice the spell, you know, the one that changes the gender of a person. I figured we could practice on Peter. After that, we just have to sit back and enjoy the show. Now we also have to figure out how to make it irreversible until we reverse it ourselves. Merlin knows that Snape will try ever Dark curse he knows to get rid of his new, err, features. Any questions?" Sirius said, all in one breath.
"Yea, when do we get to eat?" Peter asked, totally oblivious of the fact that he had just been offered up to be changed into a girl.
"Right, so if there's no questions we'll just get started!" Sirius said, ignoring Peter.
For the rest of the train ride, Sirius barked out orders like a general, and the plan really started to take shape. They would corner Snape leaving Defense Against the Dark Arts, when he liked to take his time packing up. (He liked to spend as much time around the teacher who knew anything about the Dark Arts, even if it was fighting it.) They would drag him into the boys' bathroom, although when they finished he would look strange coming out of that side. When they were done, Snape wouldn't even know what was going on until he looked into a mirror. His memory would be erased from after he entered the bathroom. Also, when he looked down at himself, he would only see his normal self. The way people would know it's Snape is the sign that would be hanging from his back, taped on with Spellotape. It would say Snape/Sarah. From there on out, Snape would be under the influence of an Imperius-like curse. It wasn't dark magic at all, just a bit of fun Sirius had discovered was useful. He would follow whatever orders James and Sirius said in their heads.
"Do you think we should make him do REALLY embarrassing stuff? Like walk around with the word Loser written on his forehead?" James asked, as you could see the wheels turning in his head.
"That's a good idea, James! I always knew you had it in you. But I think we can go more embarrassing. What about a run in his bra and panties, which we will have made hot pink with giant squids on them?"
"Sirius! That's way over the top. I couldn't live with myself after that!" Remus said, exasperated.
"There's no such thing as over the top!" Sirius and James said in a singsong voice in unison.
Remus grumbled to himself but wrote down his own plans. Even if he was against the prank, he could have some fun of his own, couldn't he?
When Lily, Charlie, and Taylor entered the compartment, Sirius, James, and Remus all rushed to cover the notebooks they were holding in their arms. It would be an understatement to say the girls were suspicious.
"What have you got there?" Taylor asked.
"Nothing!" the three boys said in unison. (Peter was too busy with his cheese to pay any attention.)
"Doesn't look like nothing to me," Charlie said, then stole Sirius' notebook.
The girls examined each page carefully. A few were just doodles of Sirius… doing bad things to Snape, but the ones with writing on them looked well thought out and important. Taylor, Lily, and Charlie read everything before Sirius could grab the notebook from them.
"I want in," Charlie said.
"Charlie!" Remus and Lily gasped at the same time.
"Me too," Taylor said defiantly.
"Taylor!" Remus and Lily gasped again.
"What, Lily, are you my mother now? It sounds like a cool idea. I'd love to be a part of it," Charlie stated evenly, winking at Sirius.
"Yeah! Me too!" said Taylor.
"Fine, but I'll have NO part in this delinquency, especially not this early in the school year," Lily said primly, like a queen.
Sirius gave James a look that said, why her James, WHY HER? James just shrugged and smiled.
"And Remus is with me, RIGHT REMUS?" Lily demanded.
Remus looked more uncomfortable than ever. It was impossible to tell if he had muttered a quiet "sorry Lily" or not.
Lily just stormed out of the compartment, no doubt searching for someone to listen to her whine.
"Someone needs a Midol," Sirius said accusingly. (A/N: for the uninformed; Midol is a PMS pill.)
The other two girls glared at him, he had never dealt with that "issue".
"We may want to do this prank with you, but that doesn't mean you can disrespect Lily," Taylor said, still glaring.
Sirius put his hands up and said, "Whoa, no need to hex me ladies."
"Let's just get started," Remus said, changing the subject. "You girls read the notebook right?" The girls nodded. "So you get the general picture, right? We're going to get him alone in the bathroom, perform the spell, and erase his memory. Now, I don't think you can join us in the boys' bathroom… but you can coax Snape into it. If you just pull him alone, I'm sure he'll go for it. You girls know he loves you." Remus said quickly, they were approaching the school.
"Sounds good, Remus!" the girls said together.
They all exited the train together, laughing and talking. Unfortunately, Lily walked out at the same time, and all she saw were the two girls laughing with the Marauders. She gave them a hurt look and ran off.
"Aww, jeez. Someone's gotta run after her," Charlie said. "Oh, all right. I'll go," she said reluctantly.
She followed Lily into the girls' bathroom.
"Lily, come on, is this really how you want to start off the school year?" Charlie asked, trying to say anything sarcastic.
"You tell me," Lily answered bitterly.
"Okay, well if you're going to be like this, I'll just leave you here. You can miss the feast for all I care."
Charlie knew that Lily hated not being paid attention to. She knew that about five seconds after she closed the door, Lily would run out, still sulky.
She walked out calmly and not long after heard the creaky door open and close again. Lily was coming.
When they reached the feast, Dumbledore was already giving his speech. They had missed the sorting entirely. Of course, their friends were at the very end of the table. They would have to take the late entry walk shamefully. Oh, how Charlie loathed Lily.
"Welcome girls, have a seat please," Dumbledore said pleasantly.
Oh, the shame, Charlie thought. She glared at the side of Lily's face. She knew she was trying very hard to keep a straight face.
They walked slowly, aware of every eye upon them.
When they finally reached their seats, Sirius whispered to Lily, "You have a trail of toilet paper coming off your foot."
She winced, wondering if everyone saw it. Oh yes, she was sure they did.
"Now that everyone has joined us," Dumbledore continued, "I would like to remind you that the Forbidden Forest and the seventh floor of the castle are off limits, though I feel that hasn't stopped all the wrongdoers in the past," Dumbledore said, glancing at the Marauder's end of the table at the end of his sentence. "I would also like to say that I hope this school year, everyone can be as safe as possible. As many of you already know, Voldemort is gaining power. Many people have already died, and we would like none of them to be from this school. On a lighter note, we have two new Quidditch captains of which I would like to inform you. Gryffindor's previous captain, Mr. Paul McLaggen, graduated last year, and the replacement for him will be William Wood. Slytherin also lost their captain to his eighteenth year, Mr. Rodolphus Lestrange. His replacement will be Miss Narcissa Black. (A/N: I purposely made Narcissa older than Lucius. I really like the idea of her being older and more unachievable, thus making her more desirable by Lucius.) Well enough chitchat! Tuck in, ladies and gentlemen!"
And everyone did just that. Within ten minutes, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had eaten half the food on the table. Of course, all the bowls were refilled, but it had to have been enough food for an army.
"Where do they put it all?" Charlie asked Taylor in a jealous tone. "If I could eat like that and not gain any weight, it would be a miracle."
Lily stared up at the ceiling. She hadn't talked to anyone since she'd entered "fashionably late". Great way to start out the year Lily, good job, she told herself. She could feel the tears welling up behind her closed eyes. Thank God dessert was being cleared. As soon as Professor Dumbledore dismissed everyone, she sprinted to her dorm room, but she didn't know the password. She sat down on the floor, buried her face in her hands, and cried until her friends carried her inside.