Disclaimer:Would love own, but don't. Thanks to Kudos for bringing us these lovelt characters...
Clouds
It was a cold crisp day late in November, leaves whirled around having just fallen from the trees, and hardy walkers scurried past their warm breath visible to the naked eye. Ruth leant against the embankment wall, surveying all the activity around her. She smiled as she watched kids jumping in the puddles left over from the early morning rain.
She sighed it was so peaceful out here, away from the noisy humdrum of the grid. She had felt guilty when she had slipped out but now that she was here that guilt had faded away. She had needed the break, she had been scouring through numerous files on the system, her eyes hurt and her head was pounding.
Ruth pulled her arms around her, she leant her head back and looked up at the sky, the clouds were moving fast above her, Ruth could make out various shapes within the clouds, people, cars, faces, she smiled to herself, this had been one of her favourite pastimes as a child.
" Something interesting up there, Ruth?"
She had been so engrossed in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard him join her, startled she looked at him, and he smiled.
Harry had seen her slip out of the grid, coat and scarf in hand. He watched as eyebrows were raised as she left, for Ruth Evershed was not known for leaving whilst in the middle of a crisis, she was the one who coped with the bureaucrats and idiots, kept the wheels in motion, everyone relied on her.
He stood there for a moment whilst he watched her disappearing figure, then he acted, acted without thinking. He grabbed his coat from the stand in the corner and made his way across the grid, next minute he was through the pods following in her footsteps.
He headed towards the stairs and made his way down, as he walked along the corridor he saw her step outside into the fresh air. Seconds later he also stepped outside, the winter sun was low and Harry squinted.
He looked around him, there she was just turning the corner, she was heading towards the embankment. He buttoned his coat up and started walking. He didn't rush he knew where she was going so he decided to enjoy this unusual break within his day.
As he reached he embankment he expected to see her sat on the bench, the bench where they had all come to talk at some point in their busy lives. She wasn't there.
He wandered over to the embankment wall and gazed over The Thames, as he turned away he caught sight of her further along the embankment, she was leaning against the wall staring up at the sky, Harry smiled as he made his way towards her.
As he got closer he stood and observed her, she seemed lost in a world of her own, he wondered what she was thinking about and what had made her feel the need to escape. He was next to her now and he watched as a slow smile played across Ruth's face. Harry hesitated, perhaps he shouldn't interrupt her reverie, maybe he should just turn around and make his way back, but something inside of him told him to stay, so he said the first thing that came into his head.
His voice broke through her daydreams, Ruth was startled, she turned to look at him and he smiled. Why was he here, what did he want. How did he know she was here?
"How did you know I was here?" She asked
"I saw you leave"
"You followed me?"
"Yes"
Ruth was unsure of how to answer him; she hadn't expected such a response. He had followed her on purpose. She had to know why. So that was the question she asked next.
"Why"
Harry was startled by this question; he didn't think he would have to explain his presence, his reasons why he had come. Harry didn't even know why he had come; he just saw her leave and instinct told him to follow. Harry thought about his answer carefully.
" I wanted to make sure you were alright, you have not been yourself since.." Harry hesitated for a moment; Ruth saw pain flicker across his face. She finished the sentence him.
"Angela"
"Yes, Angela"
Harry watched her as he waited for her answer, he could see she was struggling with her emotions, her eyes had grown wide as if to stop the tears, her hands were clenched in a tight fist. She looked at him, her blue eyes full of unshed tears, she struggled to get the words out and when they did appear, they were only just audible, a whisper.
"I watched it happen on the monitor, I saw you and Adam out there defenceless, I thought we had lost you."
"But you didn't, Ruth, we are both here, me and Adam"
"I know and I'm glad, you don't know how glad"
"But"
"I watched people fall apart around me, I had to remain strong and help Zaf keep control of the situation. When all I wanted was to come and see that you were ok. I couldn't let something happen to you without …" Her voice trailed away, she couldn't bring herself to say the words.
"Without what, Ruth"
Ruth couldn't bring her self to look at Harry, though she could feel his gaze upon her. She fiddled with her coat button, she had to do something with her hands, it was something she always did when she was nervous or afraid. And she was afraid, afraid of telling him what had gone through her mind on that day, what she had felt and still felt. He had a right to know, but was it the right thing to do, they would be crossing the line if she told him. And were they both ready for that. She sighed.
"Ruth"
She braved a brief glance at him; his gaze was gentle and full of emotion. She hesitated for a moment and closed the gap between them. She tucked her hair behind her ears, took a deep breath and spoke.
" I couldn't let something happen to you without letting you know how I feel, I know we should stay detached, void of emotion when it comes to colleagues but I cant help how I feel, Harry"
Now that she had said it the relief soared through her, the unspoken words had become a burden that was getting too hard to bear. She watched Harry with great trepidation. She felt nauseous and the wait was unendurable, she looked out over the Thames.
Harry observed the sense of relief flow through her, it had been hard for her to say those words and it would be even harder for him to say them. He had never been any good at it; his ex wife had always told him he was not the world's best conversationalist and an even worse romantic. He decided that the time was now, so he cleared his throat and spoke.
"When I was lying there, Ruth, the gun pointing at me, Adam beside me injured, there was only one thing that helped me through. Only one person I could think of. And as I waited for that bullet to fire, all I could think was that if I were spared, I would do the honest thing and tell you how I felt, explain to you my reasons for never telling you before."
"But you never did." Responded Ruth, as she carried on gazing over The Thames.
"No"
"Why"
"I don't know, Ruth, you seemed so broken after the ordeal with Angela, you distanced yourself from the rest of us, retreated into your shell. You never came to talk to me like you used too, so I thought you blamed me. So I left you alone, let you come back to me when you were ready to do so."
"So why today, Harry"
"It felt right, you leaving the grid during working hours, a first for you, Ruth. I thought that maybe you had seen the light at the end of the tunnel, that maybe you were ready."
"I do feel like my life is being returned back to normal today, after the haze of the past few weeks. Though I don't know what normal is anymore, do you Harry?"
"I don't think any of us can claim to know what normal is, not in this job anyway. But as long as we can take one day at a time, help each other through the dark times, I am sure we will all muddle along"
Ruth turned to Harry and smiled, it felt good to smile again.
"So what about us" asked Ruth
"Is there an us, Ruth?"
She answered his question by taking his hand and pulling him towards her, she looked up into his eyes and smiled. She caressed his cheek and leant in for a kiss. Harry kissed her back; it felt so good to hold her in his arms, his only regret was that he hadn't done it sooner. Ruth pulled away from the embrace and grinned, she gazed up at the clouds.
"Look Harry, the clouds are smiling for us"