Inevitable
by kiragecko
This is exactly what it seems. You know what's going to happen.
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She knew what was going to happen. Everyone knew what was going to happen. Still, not this soon. Today was his wife's funeral. Today Warren would grieve, Madeleine would be burried, and she would take care of her little girl. It was almost Shan's sixth birthday, she needed to get ready. After the funeral she would go home and Shan would go play with her friends. Warren would go home and comfort his son and daughter. Her son and Maddy's daughter. Maddy wouldn't be there to do it anymore. She had never been there to do it, she hadn't been allowed. Warren would comfort them and everyone would know what was going to happen next. It would, but not tonight, tonight was to soon. He still loved Maddy tonight.
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Shan is sleeping at Jubilee's house tonight. Her party is in three days. Perhaps she is seeing her fiends to much. She might be tired out before the party. Still, I'm not going to be here tonight and Shan is to young to be left alone.
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I do not touch the steps - in case they creak - or the doors - in case they squeak. There are children in this house. I stand in his room now and, for the first time in so long, ask if he is ready. I can wait, he has all the time he needs, but Warren gives me a sad smile and says yes, Betsy, I am. Neither of us cry. Not this time.
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He had cried before. He had cried and asked her why. He had tried to say no, tried every time. He had cried, told her to leave, and then - every time - had given in. Had given in, gone home to his wife, and had cried again, because he loved Madeleine.
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I leave early in the morning, after kissing him goodbye. There are children there who do not need to see me leave. It is to soon. Too many people are still healing. Too many people will never heal. Perhaps my son will, some day. Perhaps he won't hate me one day. Perhaps Warren and I won't hate each other one day.
This isn't about hate, not this time. This isn't something either of us has chosen. This could destroy us. It almost has, before. Yet it could also heal us. For the sake of our children, I hope we survive.
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He had kept nine month old Warren when they split. Kept him, and married Jean's clone, and had a beautiful little girl with her. Maddy, with a surprising - and slightly nasty - sense of humour, had named the little one Jean. She had raised both children as her own. Betsy had watched.
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Emma has offered to look after Shan for a while. A vacation. I don't know what Emma thinks about what's happening, but I've accepted her offer. Shan is very excited. Almost more then she is about her party. She loves chances to show how grown up she is. I decorate the house and don't think. Today is for my daughter. Tomorrow can wait.
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She had never been one for speaking her feelings. So, when she had gone to Logan for comfort, it had not been for words. She knew that if you spoke directly to his emotions and went fast enough his mind could not keep up, could not signal stop. Even though his daughter had just been born, even though he had the woman he had loved for years, his mind did not have time to signal stop.
He had told Jean, the next day, and even though she had left, again, he had not hated Betsy. He understood that she didn't speak with words, that she was hurting. He had watched her as his child grew, had taken her aside and told her she wasn't ready for this, that she needed time to heal, and he had taken the child away. He would raise Mariko. She would call Jean mother. She would learn that love didn't mean a peaceful home and that no matter how many times a parent left they would still come back. Betsy would watch.
She didn't hate Logan, though. He had been right.
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It is different, not being lonely.
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When Maddy had found out what her husband had been doing, she had come to Betsy, screaming for a reason. Betsy had said, because I hate you, and because nothing could touch her the fight had been over. However, that hadn't been the truth. She had told Warren that she needed to talk and he hadn't been able to say no. Neither of them talked about emotions, however, and even though Warren had begged her not to he hadn't left. Not until morning, when he realized that he had to go home to his wife. Then he had fled. She had followed. She had followed until he stopped saying no and then she had told him to go home. She had walked into Maddy's house and said he was coming back and smiled at Maddy and left. He had come home and cried. Maddy hadn't understood, couldn't understand. She spoke with words. How could she understand that Warren and Betsy hadn't finished talking?
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I brought Shan over today. She's a year younger then Jean but they've never gotten along. They've never had the chance. We sent them out to play. My son won't look at me. He's nine and understands things the other two don't. He doesn't understand why his father is talking to me. He asked why Miss Braddock was here. Warren didn't have an answer.
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Once she had gotten what she wanted, she stopped. Logan had been the first to figure out she was pregnant. He was one of the few who still talked to her. When he realized he had told her, that was a nasty thing to do. This one I'm keeping, was her reply. This one's mine. The light was back in her eyes and he nodded. I'm lonely, she whispered.
So she had Shan. This one would call her mother.
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I can look Warren in the eyes now. I think we have a chance. He smiled last night, when I came in, and his touch was gentle. Every time I've made the Angel fall I've had to teach myself how to feel again, how to pick up all the shattered pieces I can find and move on. This time, though, I have time. I might be able to find them all. So many of them are stuck in his heart and maybe I can get them back now. I don't know if he loves me and I don't know if I love him but we need each other. Even if they don't approve, everyone know that.