Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Well, not very much of it anyway.
Chapter 3: Forget The Past
It had been nearly four months since we moved into Godric's Hollow now. Quite a bits happened in that time. I've stopped throwing up in the mornings, which is good. I've also developed a craving for chocolate. I was never a girl who cared too much about her looks most of the time, obviously, but the rate I've been chomping through Chocolate Frogs – I've noticed my jeans feel tighter, anyway. I've got to stop eating so much of the stuff, though Harry and Ron are pleased that I seem to have my appetite back.
Besides, I don't think I could be pregnant. Two days after finding that section on fertility enhancers in Medicinal Potions, I found a different milky-white potion in another book which makes the drinker experience a mild illness, which explains the vomiting. That seems more like something Snape would give me, surely? To stop me helping Harry with the Horcruxes, I guess. And the chocolate's making me fat. An explanation for everything. Time to get on with my life.
I appeared with a sharp crack as I returned from apparating to Hogsmeade for more of Honeyduke's Finest Milk Chocolate (three bars). It was the the beginning of November by now, with mist from breeding Dementor's ever more apparent, setting a rather melancholy atmosphere over Godric's Hollow. I stepped over the threshold expecting Harry and Ron to still be asleep, but I could definitly hear them from the living toom. They sounded elated, shouting exitedly to each other about something. They both ran over to where I was standing, Ron knocking by shopping out of my arms as he embraced me in a tight hug.
"Hermione," Harry exclaimed excitedly, "We've got a lead on R.A.B.! Regulus Black! I just can't belive I didn't think of it before…"
"Er…who?" I wasn't trying to bring them down, seriously. This was honestly a name I hadn't come across – something that doesn't happen very often, I'll admit.
"Sirius's little brother? I probably didn't tell you about him then – sorry Hermione…" Harry adds hastily, catching the annoyed glare on my face. "But in a nutshell, he used to be a death eater, then got murdered by Voldemort. Sirius said he was cowardly, but now I'm not entirely sure he got the full measure of him…"
I came to a realisation. "Oh my God, the locket that no-one could open in Grimmauld place? Is that…"
"Could be." Harry gave a wry smile. However, we threw it away, and no-one has any idea where it is…"
"Ah. Still, a great first step!" I tried to remain optomistic. Don't worry Harry, we'll find it."
"Thanks, Hermione. I'm going to Grimmauld place right now, just in case I can find out where the locket is by going there. You two want to come?" Harry asked, turning to me and Ron.
"Nah," Ron answered, with a tone of sincerity, but also with a small smile appearing on his lips. "Me and Hermione have our first proper date in a couple of hours…I wouldn't miss it for the world!" He grinned at me. I'll give it to him – the boy may sometimes have the emotional capabilities of a flobberworm, but at other times he can be really sweet.
Harry sighed, with the air of someone experiencing the inevitable, and stepped over to the fireplace.
"Grimmauld Place!" he shouted into the now-emerald flames, and disapeared.
"I'll see you down here in an hour-and-a-half?" I suggest to Ron. He nods as I head upstairs, and we smile at each other. Seems to be happening a lot lately. I used to feel nauseated when I saw couples grinning foolishly at one another all the time, but somehow it doesn't seem annoying when you're with your dream man…
He's certainitly made me feel a lot happier, anyway – even if half the time it feels like we're still just friends, which is fine, but our physical relationship still hasn't got passed chaste kissing and holding hands. Maybe our first date will change all that. I walked into by bedroom slowly, taking a bar of milk chocolate of my bedside table and devouring it in one bite. My cravings still haven't gone. I'm still gaining weight. If I carry on, then even Ron won't want me. I gave a long sigh, opened my wardrobe, and picked out a dress to wear tonight.
"Wow, Hermione…I mean, wow!"
"I smile stupidly for what seemed like the twenteith time today as I slide down the staircase in Godric's Hollow, my stance radiating confidence. I was wearing a pale pink, backless dress that I'd bought several months ago, this being the first chance I've had to wear it. It had a halterneck neckline that I had fastened magically in a bow underneath my hair, and the floaty skirt fell to just above my knee. I felt incredible in this outfit, like I could achive anything.
Ron looked great too, in well-tailored grey trouseres and a white shirt with long sleeves. I noticed he'd left the first three buttons unfastened.
"Where are we going?"
"Madam Amethyst's," Ron answered.
I was impressed, to say the least. I know that it's the place to see and be seen, as well as serving plenty of stylish and expensieve food. Holding tightly on to Ron's waist, we appear from nowhere just inside the Leaky Cauldron.
"Sorry, my apparation's occasionly a bit off…" Ron tailed off. I giggled.
"That's OK."
We walked in companiable silence towards the restaurant. I jumped as as a tall man dressed in black sweeps past. It's not him. Suddenely every wizard striding past me seemed to grow long greasy hair or erupt a large nose. I subconciously rubbed my rapidly-expanding belly, rushing through the doors of Madam Amythyst's without waiting for Ron or for the doorman to show me through the glass entrance. I started to breathe slowly to calm myself. I was being absouloutly ridiculous. I eventually joined my date after visiting the loos, still feeling a little depressed.
"Are you OK, Hermione?"
My smile that was meant to be reassuring looked like a false, fixed portrait smile when I caught my reflection in one of the many gilded mirrors hanging on the restaurant's walls.
"Fine, Ron, I'm fine…"
I gazed around, enjoying the sumptuous feel of the place. The walls were pannelled in a deep oak, the matching floor covered in expensieve rugs. On the other side of the restaurant I spotted Celestia Warbeck and her husband, and I think itwas a group of Wimbouldon Wasps players that were making loud, raucous jokesat the bar. I'd never really been anywhere this posh before, and felt excited about spending the evening with Ron.
A waiter came over to our table, dressed in a white shirt and black trousers with a bow-tie tied tightly around his neck.
"May I take your order?"
Ron answered first. "Yeah, I think I'll have the fish…"
"Come on, Hermione, please…" Ron whispered in my ear. "You don't want to die a virgin do you? We're all in danger now."
Ron continued to plant small kisses down my neckline and try to untie my halterneck dress. I felt his erection pressing hard against my thigh. I felt like I wanted this so much, but it was soon…too soon. Little did my boyfriend know that I'd already lost my virginity. With this thought in my mind, tears glistened in my eyes.
"Ron, no!" I exclaimed, as he finally succeeded in undoing my dress. "This is too soon, I have to tell you something…"
"...I'll bloody kill you!"
"What, Hermione?"
"It's too soon … in our relaionship. This is our first date!"
"But I thought you wanted this? Please, Hermione?"
I sighed as Ron slid a silver bracelet off my left wrist that I'd been wearing. I was sure I'd wanted this too, but I couldn't. I'd had the worst sexual experience any girl could have, yet what if Ron went off me because of this? It may had been our first date, but I'd known him for six years. And…how many times have I promised myself I'd move on? This would work, surely?
I've felt so miserable since the end of the school year. I wanted to feel the sexual ecstacy that everyone talks about. If it's the centre of a relationship in books, magazines, films…it's got to be the best way to make me better.
I undressed Ron with a silent wave of my wand, our naked bodies shivering from raw anticipation. Then I waited to feel the incredible connection I've heard everyone talk about, waited to feel rapture from sex, not pain.
Wanting to feel anything but pain.