Tarmon Gai'don: Tori's way. (insert ominous music here)
Rand Al'Thor walked confidently up to the battlefield. With his great army behind him, he knew he couldn't lose.
"I'm so amazing," he thought, "that I'm gonna call Shai'tan a wuss and see what he says about THAT. He can't hurt me because," He burst into song. "I'm too sexy for my shirt…" Mat heard him, unfortunately.
"Okay then, Rand. I know this is Tarmon Gai'don and all, but do you have to kill EVERYBODY with that awful song? And speaking of that song, what is it? I'd like to kill the writer"
All of a sudden, Shai'tan burst onto the scene. Appearing in a poof of smoke, he was intimidating. Except for a couple of things…
"Are you seriously telling me that THIS is my ultimate foe? THIS is the Dark One?" Rand said as he realized who the Dark One really was.
Hilary Duff walked up to Rand and startes shriek…I mean singing. (Tori: breaks out the earplugs) "Ugh, this isn't my concert! Get me my mineral water!" she whined. Her manager came forth with the aforementioned water and gave it to Hilary. After taking a big drink, and gulping it down like some imbecile (Tori: She is an imbecile), she looked at Rand.
"Oh yeah, the most wonderful author of this great fanfic hates me, so I'm the dark One in her demented (Tori: and proud of it) mind"
Rand giggled. Hilary actually looked at him for the first time.
"Hey, you're not half bad! Wanna go out sometime?" she asked Rand. Immediately Elayne, Min, and Aviendha circled around Rand.
"If you EVER hit on MY…I mean OUR man again, you will regret it." Avi says. Min whispered something to her, which she repeated to Elayne. The three of them started walking menacingly towards Hilary, and This scene has been deleted for graphic violence and creative use of a rubber duck Nonetheless, Hilary Duff was no more. (Tori: YAY! Parrrtay!) Then, the REAL Shai'tan stood up, and paced toward Rand, with an evil grin on his twisted face.
Then.
"Hey, wanna get some coffee?" Shai'tan asked.
"Sure, I guess," said Rand, and the two skipped off, and everything turned into a field of flowers and bunnies (much to Lan's rejoicing…inside joke. I'll clue you in later.) and happy little rodents. Ta-daaaaahhhh!