CHAPTER SIX: DARKEST OF ALL DAYS
Over the next few days James remained virtually silent. He might occasionally reply to a question with the odd 'yes' or 'no' but other than that he wouldn't speak to anyone. He also appeared to become incapable of thinking for himself. Sirius guided him everywhere; he needed to be told to do even the smallest thing, like getting up in the mornings and getting dressed to go to breakfast and then classes.
James was also still not eating. He joined the Marauders in the Great Hall at mealtimes, but he wouldn't eat anything that appeared on his plate. He sat at the table drinking pumpkin juice or coffee until the meal things were cleared away. Then Sirius would guide him back to classes or the dormitory. Sirius persuaded him one break time to go to the Common Room with him, but a well meaning fourth year had come over and offered sympathy for his loss and he'd dashed up to the dormitory looking furious. It had taken Sirius ages to persuade him to come back down; they had to go to classes. James had eventually complied, but by the time he'd left the dormitory they were already late for Herbology. Fortunately all their teachers knew what had happened and were making allowances. Sirius was relieved. He didn't know how James would react if a teacher gave them detention at the moment.
Sirius was becoming really worried about James. He knew James was grieving and that it would take time for him to come to terms with what had happened, but it was as if he'd shut down. He didn't even go to Quidditch practice. Sirius had taken him down to the pitch for one practice session, but instead of joining in, he stood staring into space.
He also stopped doing patrol with Lily. Sirius noticed on more than one occasion that she looked across at James during meals. She even stood up one lunchtime, as if she was about to come over and speak to him, but as she did, her lips started to tremble and her eyes filled with tears. She'd left the Hall in a hurry. Sirius saw her at their next class. She had red eyes, like she'd been crying. He would have spoken to her after the class but he didn't know what to say. Besides, he could hardly turn round to James and tell him that he was just leaving him alone for a second to talk to Lily! James was still ignoring Lily, but it didn't mean anything now. James was practically ignoring anyone who looked at him. Sirius also knew that James wasn't sleeping. He continued to get ready for bed each night, but each morning his eyes looked just as heavy as the day before, dark circles had started to appear around them. Where James's eyes were once so bright they appeared to dance in his head, they now looked dull and lifeless.
Sirius lay awake one night. He was listening to James, trying to find out if he was getting any sleep at all. The curtains around Sirius's bed lay open. He stopped pulling them closed the night after James's parent's deaths, he wanted to be able to get to James quickly if he needed him in the night.
After a couple of hours of lying there, Sirius lowered his eyelids as James's curtain drew back. He didn't want James to think he was watching over him too much or fussing. Sirius opened his eyes just enough to see what James was doing. He watched as James rummaged through his trunk before pulling something out. Then he looked on as James walked out of the dormitory, dragging an almost fluid-like piece of cloth behind him. Sirius lay on his bed for a moment or two, and then he quietly crept out of the dormitory and into the Common Room.
The remains of a fire flickered in the grate. Sirius looked around the darkened room before his eyes came to rest on a strange sight. He looked through the dimness and could make out the backs of two hands appearing to float in mid-air and the lower part of two legs on the floor, resting against the back of one of the comfy easy chairs that littered the Common Room. Most people would have been surprised at this sight, but Sirius knew what it was. James had found his invisibility cloak that he kept in his trunk. He had gone down to the empty Common Room with it. Sirius could work out from the position he was in that James was now sat in one of the chairs in the Common Room; the invisibility cloak over him, his head in his hands, covering what Sirius knew would be his face, if it weren't hidden by the cloak.
Tentatively Sirius moved a little closer. He hoped James wasn't upset. He'd never seen James cry before and he wasn't sure he wanted to start now. As he moved closer he heard no sound from James at all. Sirius wondered if his friend was sleeping; maybe for some reason he found it easier to sleep in the Common Room. He made the decision not to disturb him. He quietly turned around and crept back to bed.
When Sirius woke the next day James was back in bed. His curtains, which he'd left open when he went to the Common Room in the night, were shut tightly again. Sirius got out of bed. He went over to James's bed, pulled back his curtain and could see that he was awake, the dark circles around his eyes deeper than ever. 'Come on mate, get dressed, it's time for breakfast', Sirius said quietly. James got out of bed, dressed himself, and followed Sirius to the Hall.
Lily Evans sat outside the castle one lunch time. She was by the lake. It was cold outside but Lily couldn't feel it. She was crying. Her tears were flowing down her face, blinding her. She had just been in the Great Hall at lunch and had looked up at James Potter. Lily was startled when she looked at him. In classes she didn't get time to look at him properly, there was always something to do now that the NEWT exams were getting closer. They would sit them in the spring and the teachers were making sure the 7th years knew everything they needed to know to get the best results.
Lily wasn't thinking about the exams as she sat by the lake. Her mind was dwelling on James Potter. She thought about what she had just seen. Sitting at the table in the Great Hall Lily looked up and could hardly believe her eyes. James wasn't eating; he was sitting there drinking a cup of coffee. He wasn't talking to any of his friends. He was sitting in complete silence, staring into space. Lily was horrified at the state he was in. His hair, which Lily knew was always untidy, was worse than ever. It looked matted, like it hadn't been combed properly for days. He looked pale and terribly thin. His face looked gaunt. Lily looked at his eyes. They used to give the impression they danced as he spoke or laughed, but now they were dim and lifeless. Lily got up to go and speak to him, but as she did, she knew he was still not even looking at her. He wouldn't want her bothering him. He didn't care about her or anyone any more. He was lost in the pain of losing his parents. Nothing else mattered. Lily felt her tears building inside her. Her lips trembled and she ran from the Great Hall. She was now sitting by the lake, sobbing because James Potter was in pain and there was nothing she could do to make it better