---

2

---

Frank raised his eyes up to the gigantic building and gaped in awe. He noticed a large gate barring off entry to the building's grounds and approached it. After trying to open the gate and realizing that it was locked, he pouted, looking around for any way to get in. He saw a small black box mounted on the side of the gate and his joy returned. Frank pushed a small button on the front of the box and bent his head down in front of the speaker.

Several seconds following his pressing of the button, there was some static noise and then a miniature voice came over the intercom. "Wonka industries."

"Hello, um, I saw the ad in the paper this morning and I would like to see the factory."

There was a pause before the intercom clicked off and Frank was left standing in front of the gate, Riffraff, Magenta, and Columbia waiting patiently behind him. He raised an eyebrow and pressed the button again but there was no answer. In frustration, he pressed it over and over again, wishing for an answer of any kind. All of a sudden, his wish was granted. As though done by magic, the gates barricading his entrance to the factory's grounds began to move forward in front of Frank. He jumped back, pushing his helpers back as well, almost making them fall over. The gates stopped moving after they had completely opened and then there was nothing blocking his pathway any more.

He cleared his throat and began forward proudly, through the gates, walking along the path to the factory. Riffraff, Magenta, and Columbia followed along absently. Frank reached the doorway shortly. He stood in front of the large opening and raised a hand up to the bulky wooden door. After a slight hesitation, he brought his hand down in three short raps. "Ooh! I'm so excited!" He exclaimed, waiting for the door to open.

At once, the door began to part away, as had the gate several moments before, by itself. He stepped up onto the doorstep and turned to his helpers who stood indifferently. "You wait outside. I'll be back," he told them, then turned back into the opened doorway. He stepped a several paces within the building. As quickly as the door had opened, it suddenly began to close behind him. He watched in amazement, wondering how it was doing that. When it had closed, a small figure in the door's shadows scampered off into the darkness. Frank raised an eyebrow, nevertheless decided not to pay it much thought.

The factory's owner had been informed of the visitor. Standing many Feet above the entrance on a large stairway, he peered down to see Frank gazing around in wonder. He raised his cane in the air at Frank.

Out of the corner of his eye, Frank saw movement above and turned his head up to see a strange, pale man with a funny haircut, clad in black with a wine colored coat and a large black top hat. Frank offered a smile. "Uh, hello. I'm looking to expand my laboratory and I have quite a bit of money to spend. I saw your ad. You want to sell your factory?"

The man looked down at Frank and offered a strange smile of his own, his violet eyes brightening in a sickly way.

"Are you Mr. Wonka?"

The man nodded at him, continuing to hold his smile. He finally made an effort to move from his spot, and began descending the stairs slowly. Somehow even a simple action as descending a flight of stairs was made freakish by this man. As he reached the floor and stood in front of him, Frank extended a hand to be shaken.

An uneasy look came over Wonka's face. He looked as though he were about to lose his lunch. With much reluctance, he took Frank's hand after some moments. Frank shook his hand in a friendly enough manner, then lifted it to his mouth to plant a soft kiss on its backside.

Wonka drew his hand back immediately, a look of shock and disgust coming over his face. Frank let out a laugh and took a look around at the large factory. "So this is it?"

Wonka nodded sorrowfully. "Yep. Every last inch."

Frank giggled at the man's choice of words.

Wonka raised a brow. "Well, would you like me to show you a tour?"

"Sure."

"Alright then, follow me," He instructed, stepping forward and beginning to ascend the stairs he had been atop moments before. Frank followed behind, wondering where they were going. Wonka turned his head as he walked, glancing at his visitor. "There's so many rooms in my chocolate factory that it would be silly to travel the factory by foot. That's why we are going to take my most prized possession: my glass elevator."

"Glass elevator, eh? I've never seen one of those," Frank said, becoming interested in this strange invention.

"Well, it's one of a kind. My factory's the only one in the entire---" SMACK! Wonka was sent to the floor as he bumped his forehead right against the side of the invisible glass elevator.

Frank gasped and bent over to help him up. "Are you okay?" He asked with worry.

After returning his feet to the floor, Wonka straightened himself up and turned the pained look over his face into a crooked smile. "And apparently I never seem to see it either."

The doors of the glass elevator opened and they entered. Wonka placed his hand over the keypad anxiously and turned to his visitor. "Where would you like to go first... I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"

"Frank. Dr. Frank N. Furter. And you... you're..."

"Willy Wonka."

"Your name is Willy?"

"Yes."

Frank sighed in amusement and dropped his head off to the side, placing a finger to his lips. "I don't know why, but I just love the name Willy. It's just so... manly." He said, pulling his finger from his lips and running it along Wonka's chest until it reached his more valuable areas.

Wonka gulped, pulling away and pressing his back against the glass wall. He stared at this strange visitor with widened eyes and did not take them off of him when he raised a hand back to the elevator's keypad and began pressing random buttons.

The elevator's doors closed and it immediately took off, passing over various rooms. They looked down on them from above. After regaining his breath from the recent shock, he settled down and pointed at the rooms as they went over them. "That's the testing hall... oh, and that is the sugar coating room... and this, well it's the packaging area... and I can't forget the chocolate stirring chamber... look! That's the bee pollinating room! Believe it or not, it's the nicest room in the factory. I just love to sit down with my bee hat and suit on and watch the honey getting made. It's so relaxing... I--"

"Hmm... you speak so highly of your factory. Why are you getting rid of it?"

Wonka's smile faded and he looked to the floor, seeing various rooms move past them under his feet. "Well, I just can't compete with them anymore. Those filthy thieves... they've run me out of business."

"Who?"

"Why, the spies of course."

"Spies?"

"Yes! Spies! They're all over! Always! They could be here... they could be there... they could be anywhere! Who knows... maybe you're a spy," Wonka said in a cold voice. His eye twitched in its socket and he pointed his cane at Frank's neck, cornering the man. "You're not a spy, are you?" He demanded in a raspy tone.

Frank shook his head, sweat beginning to appear on his forehead. Wonka nodded and backed away, his normal cheery expression returning. "Good... good!"

A smile came over Frank's face as well as he observed Willy Wonka. "Oh, Willy. You're so aggressive. A perfect male quality, you know."

Wonka's expression turned blank. He shook his confusion away and continued with his explanation. "It's because of the spies who go through any and all lengths to steal my top secret recipes that I have to close down. It's a shame, but I just can't keep it going anymore," He said, lowering his head sadly.

Frank looked at the man and saw that he appeared as though he were about to cry. A second later, however, he raised his head and Frank saw that he was beaming from ear to ear. "Let me take you to the only place in the entire factory better than the bee pollinating room!" He exclaimed, raising his hand to the keypad and smacking it down over a set of keys. "Hold on!" He shouted, gripping onto the wall to the best of his abilities before the elevator began flying around at rapid speed.

"Ahhh!" Frank yelled, grabbing onto the side for support so he would not fall over. Seconds later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Willy Wonka let go of the side of the elevator and moved out of the doorway, smoothing his hair back casually.

Frank let go of the side and clutched his stomach, knowing that he was going to be sick. He exited the elevator and stepped out to see the most amazing area of enchantment he had ever laid eyes upon. There were colorful trees and plants and greenery everywhere. Some of it looked very much like it were made of sweets... but that could not be possible, could it?

"Whoa," he simply said, stepping forward through the grass. He did not see Willy Wonka anywhere and began approaching a large mushroom. He extended a hand and pulled a large chunk free from its shiny surface. After inspecting it for a few seconds, he slowly brought it to his mouth and took a bite. He realized that it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten!

Wonka appeared behind him, smiling. "I take it you like my candy?"

Frank nodded and Wonka continued to smile at him. "Come with me," He said, gesturing for Frank to follow him. As they walked, Frank was amazed by all of the strange creations which he had never seen before. All of his inventions were all so very different from Willy Wonka's.

A strange, small elephant caught Frank's attention and Wonka stopped in front of it, holding his hands out to Frank. "May I take your cloak?" He asked.

Frank's eyes were still on the elephant. It was about five feet high, purple with green polka dots, and from its trunk sprouted a sort of set of hooks. "Yes. Thank you," He said in a daze, removing his cloak and handing it to Wonka.

Willy Wonka was bound to have a heart attack with all of the horrible little surprises this Frank N. Furter kept delivering him. He observed the man's attire beneath the cloak which consisted of a strange black corset and small set of underwear with fishnet stockings and high heeled-shoes. With a blank expression over his face, he absently raised the cloak up to the elephant's trunk and tried to hang it over one of the sprouting hooks, but he missed and it floated down to the grassy floor.

A small man suddenly emerged from seemingly out of nowhere and bent to pick the fallen cloak from the floor. Another man appeared next to him, and then another, and then another... until there were quite a few. One by one, they each mounted eachother's shoulders until they stood high enough to reach the elephant's hooks. The bottom man passed the cloak up to the top man and he hung it securely over the hook.

Frank eyed this odd display with both wonder and disapproval. He made a face as the small men quickly debarked from eachother's shoulders, returning to the floor and scampering by him, disappearing.

"Who are these... minuscule specimens of man?" He asked curiously. The hook-elephant let out a long cry, drowning him out somewhat.

"They're Oompa Loompas."

"Oompa... Loompa... really..." He said distastefully.

Suddenly the lights went down and began to flicker in a rhythmical pattern. Frank turned to Wonka. "What's going on?" He asked nervously. Colored lights began to move all around.

"Oh, just watch," Wonka replied with a smile.

Frank shrugged and watched as these Oompa Loompas began to appear in great numbers all around various areas of the enchanted greenery. They positioned themselves in an orderly fashion and then a melody began to play. The Oompa Loompas moved with the music and began to sing a song as they danced.

Frank glanced at Wonka and saw him bobbing his head happily to the music. He sighed and turned back to the performance.

"Frank N. Furter, Frank N. Furter.

You're a hot dog, a strange one, a sinner, a pervert!

Frank N. Furter, you pervert, you pervert.

Keep your mitts off Wonka, he doesn't swing that way.

Keep your mitts off Wonka, he's really not gay!

Don't touch the package, hands off the merchandise.

Your foul moves were very much not surmised.

Filthy paws: away, away, away.

Wonka doesn't like the game you play.

You hot dog: you're sinister, you're vicious, your wicked.

Keep your filthy little paws always hidden."

When their tune had finished and the lights came back on, the little Oompa Loompas all stood silent in their places, staring at Frank without moving a muscle. He nodded to himself and offered a sad round of applause which echoed throughout the large room. He turned to Wonka, his expression turning very serious, and placing his hands on his hips. "By any chance would they know The Time Warp?" He asked, a smile coming over his face.

Wonka raised an eyebrow in confusion. Frank surveyed the Oompa Loompas and saw little eyebrows raise all around the room in succession. He stepped back and let out a long cackle.