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3
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They stepped back into the glass elevator and took off once again, heading to various other rooms of the factory to continue Frank's tour. After reaching the invention room and stepping out, Frank surveyed all of the strange gadgets he could lay his eyes upon with awe. "What's this?" He asked curiously, staring at a large ball covered with springs that was mounted upon a table-like surface. He extended a finger, poked it lightly and it swayed under his touch, moving back and forth in a rhythmic pattern.
Wonka came up behind Frank and peeked over his shoulder to see what he was referring to. He pointed at it with his cane. "That would be a model of the new sugar sifter that's in development."
Frank watched as it moved back and forth with its rhythm. He scratched his head in befuddlement. "How is that a sugar sifter?"
"Well, first off you have a bucket of sugar and then... Oh, let me just show you," He replied, scurrying away and returning some moments later with a red bucket. He set the bucket on the floor and lifted his hands up to clap. A chain with a hook attached to its end began lowering from the ceiling. It stopped a foot above the ball with springs and Wonka placed the bucket on the hook.
Frank furrowed his brow. "Why would sugar need to be sifted in the first place?"
Wonka sighed in annoyance at all of these questions and lifted the bucket from the hook to place under Frank's view so he could see the contents. "Well... to get the nails out of course!"
"Nails!" Frank exclaimed seeing nails sitting amongst the sugar in the bucket.
"Nails... screws... glass... that kind of stuff is not very healthy and makes children feel icky in their tummies," Wonka explained, rubbing his stomach and pouting. He replaced the bucket onto the hook. "And that is why we sift the sugar. To clear the things that'll give the wee ones tummyaches," He said and pressed a button on the ball with springs.
"But why would there be nails, screws and glass in the--"
"Shhh! It's going to sift!" He said, tipping the bucket. Sugar began to pour over the spring covered ball. It moved back and forth by itself in its rhythmical pattern as the sugar passed over it and ran along the springs. There were two openings in the surface in which the sugar sifter was built. Frank could see that sugar was running into one opening and the waste was running into the other.
"That's amazing!" Frank said in wonder, watching the sugar become sorted and forgetting that the debris should not even have been there in the first place. He looked at Willy Wonka who nodded at him in agreement.
Suddenly the smooth rhythmic pattern of the sugar sorter became disturbed and it moved in odd ways, its speed picking up. The motor creaked and moaned and smoke began to rise from the ball. Its sorting reversed and the shards of glass and nails were dropped into the sugar opening, while the sugar was dropped into the rejected material. It fumed for several seconds more until the motor screeched to a halt and the spring covered ball exploded right in its spot, springs flying every which way.
"What happened?" Frank asked in a shock as he brushed springs from his hair with his hand.
"Oh, dear," Wonka said, paying little attention to Frank. He pushed smoke from his face and stared at the wreckage. "It always has to do that right there. I don't know what the problem can be. Of course, it's still being looked into..." He stroked his face in thought. "Perhaps it's the springs?"
"Mr. Wonka?"
"Or maybe it's the ball..."
"Mr. Wonka?"
"Oh... I hope it's not the sugar. I pay top price for that stuff and I--"
"Willy Wonka!"
He looked up at Frank. "Yes?"
"Shall we continue the tour?"
"Oh! Oh, yes. Certainly. Of course! Come along!" He instructed, stepping away from the fuming pile that once sorted sugar, and heading off deeper into the invention room. Frank threw one last glance at the smoking machine before following Wonka.
After inspecting several more not-quite-complete inventions and witnessing additional explosions, fires and disasters, Frank was satisfied with his observations of the invention room. He felt that the fabrications were pretty interesting, but none could measure by far to his own special creations. As they were leaving the room, Frank stopped in the doorway to take another gaze.
He turned to Wonka thoughtfully. "By any chance would you happen to have a sonic transducer?"
"A who-onic trans-what-er?"
"You know... a device capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps even time itself?"
"Ohhh...I see! I get it! I really, really get it! I know exactly what you're talking about! It's so clear now! I mean I can just-- no. I don't have one. This sonic transducer... what is it?"
"It is I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory physio-molecular transport device."
"You mean..."
"Yes, Willy, it's something that has been worked on for quite some time by man. But it seems that I have found a means of perfecting it."
"That's amazing! If I weren't selling my factory, I'd have asked you to help build me one. Ah, well. Too bad," He said with a smile and stepped out into the hall. The glass elevator was ready and waiting and he entered, Frank following along behind. With the push of a button the doors sealed. Wonka furrowed his brow and tilted his head upwards. "Hmmm... You know what? I guess I've showed you everything there is to show so the tour's up. That's interesting... so what do you think of the factory? Would you like to buy it from me?"
Frank leaned back comfortably against the glass wall as the elevator moved smoothly through the factory. "No."
Wonka gaped at him. "No?" He exclaimed in confusion.
"I can't."
"Why not? I thought you told me that you had a lot of money. Isn't my factory good enough for you?"
"Oh, I do. And it is. But I just couldn't take something from someone when it gives them so much pleasure."
"Pleasure? But it's not giving me pleasure! It's a flop! Take it off my hands. Please!"
"I just can't."
Wonka crossed his arms over his chest and lowered his head to sulk. He'd never get to sell his factory.
Frank watched as Wonka sulked and frowned. "Hey man, don't be glum. Cheer up," He said, smiling and trying to get Wonka to feel better. "You know what? I just got an idea."
Wonka raised his head and looked at Frank. "Which is...?"
"What if we were to become a partnership?"
"Huh? You don't know the first thing about making chocolate."
"And you don't know the first thing about having a menage a trois, but hey, we can all learn... It would be best if we were a partnership. That way you wouldn't have to give up your factory and I could fund half of it for you. It would be fun. We can put our great minds together and invent some of the most amazing, wackiest things. What do you say?"
Wonka pondered on the proposition for a moment before replying. "Hmm... well okay, I guess," He agreed. A smile came over Frank's face and the elevator emitted a ding, reaching the set destination. They exited and stepped into a hall.
As they walked, Wonka turned to Frank. "What's a menage a trois?" He asked curiously, not having the slightest clue of what Frank could be talking about.
"Oh, Willy. You're too cute," Frank replied with a grin, tapping Wonka's face in a friendly manner. As they walked, Frank began to explain the details of a menage a trois to Willy Wonka. They turned the corner and entered the confectionery room.
"...so there's either two females and one male or two males and one female and that's how it's done. It's a perfect opportunity to get into some serious experimentation because..."
Wonka tuned him out, his whole body shuddering at Frank's vulgar talk. His eyes were as round as quarters as they fixed on Frank, and he supposed that if the man continued on with his repulsive topic any longer, he would suffer a brain hemorrhage or something similar of the sort.
Frank finished and let out a long sigh to himself. "Ahhh, Willy. Don't you just love sex?"
Wonka scoffed. "Sex? Ew."
"What do you mean, 'ew'?" Frank asked, highly offended by Wonka's cruel insulting of his favorite subject.
"You're a very gross man," Wonka replied, still cringing.
Frank shook his head, not understanding how any man could possibly consider sex to be disgusting. "Oh, Willy. There's nothing wrong with giving yourself over to absolute pleasure. Why... if you have a few extra moments I'd be happy to--"
Wonka's raised his cane quickly in front of him as a signal to stop, his eyes bulging from their sockets. He quickly shoved a hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handful of cue cards, several of them slipping out and falling to the floor in disarray. He squinted his eyes and began to read in a monotonous voice from the card..."The confectionery room is built with..."
Frank shook his head once again. "Tsk. Tsk."