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5

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Frank and Wonka walked through one of the halls, discussing their future business together. In all truth, Frank was a bit tiresome when it came to all this candy talk. After listening to Willy Wonka go on about some kind of tart... or toffee... or whatever he had been talking about, (Frank wasn't really paying attention) for ten whole minutes without any pauses, he was ready to ditch the entire candy enterprise and move on to more interesting developments.

"... so that's why I like the chocolate covered one better."

"Oh... that's interesting..." Frank replied, uninterested, not having the slightest clue of what Wonka could be going on about.

"Yes, I mean it's just so much more--"

"Uh, I'm sorry for cutting you off, Willy, but I had hoped that we could talk about something a little more... worth while."

"More worth while than candy? And that would be..."

Frank stopped walking and stood still in the hall, Wonka following suit and standing in front of him. "Well, have you ever considered getting into genetic engineering?" Frank asked, turning to the wall. "This factory seems like it would be perfect for conducting tests of the sort needed for my human experimentation," he explained, running his hand along a beam and inspecting it's durability. "Yes, everything here certainly seems strong enough to withstand my tests..."

"No, Mr. Furter. I have not considered this 'genetic engineering' even once in my life and I suppose I never will. People were not meant to be played around with, they're meant to be fed. With candy! My candy. There's no greater business than candy, you see."

"No, Willy, I don't see. I have experimented with many different subjects and nothing has ever went wrong... well yes it has, but it's all small things. I mean, who really needs to be able to talk anyway?"

"Uhh..."

"I've worked wonders in my genetic research. Why, just several months ago I made myself a son. His name was Eddie. There's were a few minor problems with him, but other than that he was a nice kid... Of course he never could seem to find the time to spend with his father..."

"Why do you speak of him in the past tense? Where is he now?"

"Ahh... in my freezer. In pieces."

"In pieces!"

"Don't worry, they're big pieces."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Okay, well a few weeks ago I made another man, this time a lover."

Wonka shivered, thinking of lovers... male lovers for that matter!

"And in order to make him, I needed a brain."

"Why, of course."

"Yes, so my supply of brains was short that day."

"I hate when that happens."

"So I decided to split Eddie's brain between the both of them."

"That's smart thinking. I bet you have a whole brain, right?"

"But then Eddie started acting... funny."

"I can always use a chuckle or two every so often."

"Not that kind of funny."

"Oh."

"So I had to kill him to end his suffering. And I used an axe."

"Hey, whatever you can get your hands on, I guess."

"And now he is, as I've said, in pieces. It's a bit sad, but I have my Rocky to cheer me up. He's just perfect in every possible way. He's perfect because I made him."

"Who's Rocky?"

"My lover."

"Ew."

"No, more like yum."

"And where is Rocky now?"

"Well, he's currently locked up in a cage."

"A cage!"

"Well, I have to, or else he'll be set on fire!"

"Set on fire!"

"My helpers do naughty things to him-- but not the kind of naughty I fancy. Poor baby... they'll chase him around... set wild dogs loose on him... set him on fire... you know, the usual."

"Your helpers sound bizarre."

"Ah, yes. A set of strange fellows indeed... I-- Oh, no. I knew I was forgetting something."

"What?"

"Whoops... will you excuse me for a moment? Oh, and might I use your phone?"

"Of course. Just ask an Oompa Loompa if you see one and he'll help you."

Frank turned away and began through the hall, passing various suites as he moved. With the mention of his helpers, he remembered finally that he had left them alone outside a rather long time ago. He wondered if they were still there... as he walked he must have taken a wrong turn, because he did not recognize the area in which he stood whatsoever.

"Umm... little Oompa Loompa people?" He asked to the air. He waited a few moments but nothing special happened. "Oompa Loompas? Come out, come out wherever you are!" He called louder this time in a singsong voice. But nothing continued to happen. "Come here, you filthy little Oompa Loompa buggers!" He yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls and echoing. At first he thought that nothing was going to happen again, but suddenly a small trap door opened in the side of the wall and several Oompa Loompas marched out, positioned in line, and stopping in front of Frank. They formed a circle around him, closing off his path.

"Uh, hi," Frank began foolishly, feeling awkward talking to these strange little people. "Could you be so kind as to lead me over to the front entrance? I've some business to take care of."

The man who stood directly in front of Frank in the circle of Oompa Loompas nodded his head at Frank and then the one next to him copied the act, the next one... and the next one... until all of them had nodded at him in succession. The middle man stepped out of place, breaking the circle, and starting forward through the hall Frank had begun to travel. The men followed along one after another in a little lineup. Frank moved with them, standing at the end of this small squad as they lead him through the factory and to the entrance where he had come through only several hours before.

As they stopped and turned to look at him, he nodded his head in thanks and pulled out of the lineup, moving to the front door. He placed his hand around the door's handle and pulled, revealing the gloomy outside. It seemed to have rained at some point in the time he had spent within the factory with Wonka. He slowly stepped down onto the ledge and peered out, letting his hand slide off of the door. It quickly shut behind him with a bang which made him jump and he sighed in frustration as he had splashed himself by jumping in a puddle. Not only that had made him nervous, but also the fact that the door had closed. Almost surely, it would have locked behind him. Making sure of this, he grabbed onto the bulky door's handle and tried pushing it in, but the door was locked as he had assumed.

He kicked at the ground in annoyance and splashed himself once more. Cursing under his breath and wiping his legs off, he began walking around to the side of the factory, on the lookout for his helpers because he had not seen them anywhere yet. It was quite chilly outdoors and he regretted not taking his cloak before stepping out. But it was too late now. He placed his hands on his upper arms and rubbed, trying to bring heat into his body as he walked.

As he turned the corner and expected to find the lot empty, instead he was greeted by the dull expressions of his helpers who had withstood the rain and cold to wait for their master to return to them finally.

"You're still here?" Frank asked, surprised.

"You did not order us to leave yet, Master," Riffraff explained.

"We only follow your orders," Magenta added.

Columbia threw displeased glances at them, then turned her focus on Frank. "What took you so long?" She asked, poking a finger on Frank's chest. She moved forward. "We've been freezing out here for hours." She poked him again and moved closer. "It better be good," she added, adding another poke as well. She stood directly in front of him now, offering a menacing look. Riffraff and Magenta cowered in behind.

"It is good," Frank replied, stepping away from Columbia's threatening finger.

"Is the factory ours?" Magenta asked.

"Well, no."

"Then how is that good?"

"My dear servants, I've gone into a partnership with the man who runs this company."

"You did what!" Magenta cried.

"But master! He'll find out that we're ali--"

"Shhhh!" Frank hushed, placing a hand over Riffraff's mouth. "Not so loud! This place could be crawling with spies!"

"Spies!" Columbia cried now.

"You've done us in now, Master. You've really done us in," Magenta sighed.

"There's no harm in it all, it's the perfect place to set up my laboratory. And nothing bad will happen as long as some of us are able to keep our little mouths shut!" Frank yelled, roughly removing his hand from Riffraff's mouth. "Now, I want all of you to come inside to take a look around the place. Afterall, we will be living here from now on, you know. Come inside, I was just about to call up a set of movers to move all of our equipment here."

They turned the corner and walked to the door. Frank tugged on the handle once again, hoping that it had somehow magically unlocked while he had been away, but it still remained the same when he tried. "Oh, pooh," He said in frustration, kicking at the door with his high-heeled shoe. He hurt his toes and began hopping around in pain.

Suddenly the door opened in one swooping motion and Wonka peeked his head through, the action nearly giving Frank a heart attack. Wonka straightened and scratched his head in confusion, a goofy grin coming over his face. "Why are you all the way out here?" He asked, dumbfounded. "It's raining."

"We know," Frank said, displeased.

"We?"

Frank furrowed his brow and gestured to the set of people who stood behind him. "These are my esteemed confidantes. Magenta, Columbia and Riffraff," Frank introduced, pointing at each one as he said their names.

Wonka shifted his cane to the other hand and lifted the free hand to his forehead, the way a person would place their hand as though they were looking off into the distance and wanted to shield the sun. He hunched forward and scanned the area, then stood straight again and shook his head. "Nope. I don't see anyone here at all."

"What? They are standing right next to me, I don't know how you could miss them!"

Wonka shook his head again. "Alright, I'll try again. But no guarantees," he said, hunching forward again and placing his hand against his forehead. He scanned the distance once more, then returned to his normal position. "No one's here. I think you need to have your eyes checked."

"No. You need to have your eyes checked. How can you say there's no one here? Magenta, say something."

"I would like to return to Transyl--"

"That's good enough," Frank interrupted, throwing her a cold glance. "See? She spoke, so she has to be real."

Wonka sighed. "Well... if you say so, I guess," He humored, turning away and rolling his eyes. He shivered from the cold of the opened doorway and stepped into the factory. "Come back inside. Don't want you catching a cold and sneezing all over my candy. That would be very unpleasant. I'd have to pick off each piece of mucus before packaging and it would waste a lot of time."

Frank shrugged to his helpers and stepped back inside the factory, the rest of the group following along. They gazed at the large innards in awe, wondering what went on in a place like this. At once, the door slammed behind them with a bang, making them jump and turn to the doorway. An Oompa Loompa giggled at them and scampered away.

"Master, what is that?" Magenta asked, aghast, pointing where the little man had been moments before.

Frank turned his head away, scratched his neck, coughed... bought his time... before muttering, "Oompa Loompa."

"What?" Columbia asked, not having the slightest clue at what Frank had said. He began forward in a quick pace, in the direction he had seen Wonka take. "Oompa Loompa," he repeated as he marched forth.

"I didn't quite catch that, master," Riffraff said as he and the girls followed along behind Frank.

Frank suddenly turned on his heels, stopping his pace, and shouted, "They're Oompa Loompa's! Tiny little freaks who perform works here at this factory!"

Every light, machine and process in the factory turned off and for a moment Frank thought there had been a power failure. After a few more moments, however, a spotlight was turned on and placed on Frank. He shielded his eyes from the burning glow and looked up to see these little Oompa Loompa creatures descending from the ceiling from ropes. They dangled from every which way over Frank and his group and a colored spotlight fell over one particular man. A rhythm began from somewhere and he began to sing,

"Frank N. Furter don't you misjudge,

we are people too.

Frank N. Furter have some feeling,

We don't come from a zoo.

Oompa Loompas know more than you ever will know too

That's why we know the tricks to scaring you

So, Frank N. Furter, watch your back,

Because we're coming after you."

All the Oompa Loompas then joined in for the chorus:

"We're watching you when you least expect it,

we're watching you, you just don't get it.

We're after you, you did us wrong,

and now you're going to pay.

We're after you so watch your back,

We might even strike today."

"Oh, watch your back,

We're after you,

You did us wrong,

You're going to pay,

All this is true.

"Watch your back,

We're watching you,

We'll strike sometime,

We won't say,

You haven't a clue.

"We... are... watching...

"YOU!" When the final word was spoken, there was a large explosion and the entire factory filled with smoke. A moment later, as the smoke began to clear away, the Oompa Loompas had vanished as well as the colored lights and the spotlight that had been set over Frank. The power had come back on and it almost was as it the whole thing had never even happened. But Frank knew that it had, he would never forget this performance for as long as he lived... which, according to the Oompa Loompas, was not a long time more at all.

Willy Wonka emerged from the smoke and placed himself next to Frank. He squealed in delight. "Oh, I just love it when they do that!"