A/N : I'm really pleased with this chapter, not because of the content, but because it (minus the author notes and all, just the story bit) is exactly 3000 words long. For some reason, that makes me proud… It's so… Rounded.
Warning : Strong language, yaoi.
Disclaimer : I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters. The characters you do not recognise are mine and are not to be stolen/used in any story other than my own.
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All I Want : Chapter Seven
December 24th – Part Two
"Rei, I… love you." I look up as Rei lets go of me and steps backwards, uncertainty and perplexity written all over his face. This is bad.
"What?"
This is really bad.
"Look Rei, I can't help it." I knew it would hurt when he turned me down but fuck this is painful. He's silent, staring at me, unsure what to say. I can't even begin to imagine what's going on in his mind right now, though I don't think I want to either. I sigh, dangerously close to walking away, but I have to stick this out. I feel his hand on my shoulder so find the guts to look him in the face.
"Kai… I…" He's so confused, so beautifully confused.
I shake my head, forcing a smile. "You don't have to say anything." I practically pleaded out that sentence, I don't want to hear him say to my face that he isn't interested. If it weren't for me accidentally speaking my thoughts rather than thinking them then we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. I could curse myself for that. This isn't even how I planned to tell him, even though I went through all the stages I… "Rei?" Is it just me, or is he crying? He lifts his head to look at me, his eyes sure enough shining with tears, but he's smiling.
"Now I understand why you hate Mariah." He states with a slight nervous laugh. I smile slightly and nod in agreement. Yeah, that's why I hate that furry pink ball of… Yes, well, enough of dissing the friends of the person I love. He gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and it's then that I realise he's blushing again. Could it be? Hn, that's wishful thinking. We are silent, just… Standing. I find myself staring at his lips, so perfect and kissable, getting closer. I've had many dreams about those lips and various parts of my body, they way they caress and… Wait. Getting closer?
I flick my eyes upward to see Rei, looking unsure. I lift my head to see his expression properly and he starts to chew his lower lip the way one does when nervous. He looks so angelic yet sultry doing that, so very confused, so very unsure. What are you thinking Rei? How can I calm your nerves? He notices my watchful gaze and sighs, turning on his heel, and now it's my turn to be confused as he runs at quite a speed toward the kitchen, skidding round the corner into the room. I lean against the wall and slide down it so I'm sat on the floor, head in my hands. I can't believe this. Of all the things that could have happened, it was… That? He ran off for fuck's sake! I'm biting myself over this. Literally, actually, trying to make my hand bleed.
"Kai?" I look up, my own hand dangling from my mouth, earning very strange looks from the not one, but three lovely people who care about me enough to see if I'm okay, looking down at me; (one of them being Bryan). I guess I should stop acting so surprised every time he does something to show he has a heart deep down in there somewhere because I know he does – He's just like me. Tala, being the one who spoke, kneels down in front of me and gives me a questioning glance as I open my mouth, letting my hand drop back into my lap, while both Bryan and Tyson make their way outside, I assume, for a cigarette. I guess that stuff is going alright for everyone else so far then if Bryan and Tyson (of all people) are getting along. Tala rests one of his hands over the top of my bitten one and wipes off a drop of blood; it worked then. Sighing deeply, I raise my head to look at him. "You okay?"
"Yeah." I sigh. I know he's going to want to know what has just happened, so I may as well just tell him now. "I told Rei." I manage to sigh again.
"Shiiiit." Thanks Tala, that really helped my situation. He sighs too, gazing at me. He seems to be thinking very hard about something, not an action he does often, I suspect… Wonder if it's giving him a headache yet. I ought to give myself a mental slap for that, I'm being so horrible. Aha, a light (or candle, in Tala's case) has been lit inside his dim (that's mean) red head. "Much as I disapprove… Would you like a smoke?" he asks. I wouldn't have thought of that, but hey, it works as a stress reliever. I nod, feeling slightly offended by his question now; here Kai, you look down, smoke a stick that will give you lung cancer to make you feel better, good lad. Then again, this is Tala so he's no doubt only thinking about me being happy, bless his soul. "Come on then. Bryan and Tyson are outside."
As I am lead outside, I begin to wonder what Rei is doing. Marie would have noticed that something was bothering him, she notices when something is bugging me and Rei actually shows his emotions. As soon as I am out the door, Bryan thrusts a cigarette into my hand and offers me a lighter. I look toward the window for one last time before lighting the stick; if I'm caught, I'm dead.
"Tala?" Kami my voice is unusually quiet. "If Marie comes, this is yours." I say, pointedly looking at my cigarette. I feel a little bit angry with myself for smoking to be honest, but I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm stressed.
"I don't smoke…" Tala states, looking a little bit lost.
"Marie doesn't know that." Bryan cuts in before I manage to say my more reasonable answer, which I will say now. For somebody who doesn't talk much, he sure knows how to interrupt people.
"You don't have to smoke it Tal, just hold it." The redhead suddenly breaks out into a grin and it's obvious that something has ticked inside his brain. I can't help but smile at him, admittedly more in amusement than anything else, he's just so sweet.
"I get it… Kai?" He spoke the last word, my name, hushed and in a more serious tone than before so I know he's going to ask me about Rei. I brace myself ready for his question. "What did he say?" The perfect question, thanks Tala. I roll my eyes.
"He didn't say anything." I groan in remembrance. "He just ran off." I can't be angry though, it's not his fault. Maybe I should have just walked away like I first thought, that would have kept me from looking pathetic… Not that I do. Most people in this situation would, but I don't. I'm too great a person to look pathetic.
"Oh." He says with a sigh, before looking around at the snowy scenery. It's gone quiet… Very quiet. I'm not sure if it's an awkward silence or if it's just a silence. I don't know why it would be an awkward silence though, I don't feel awkward in the slightest, and it's my problem that was being discussed. Tala suddenly drops to the floor and starts redoing his shoe-laces, which were perfect in the first place. We all give him a questioning glance. "Hold that for me Kai." He says in a voice that was probably a little too loud for normal conversation, then the clogs turn and I understand. Marie is on her way over. She looks like she's about to speak with us like any normal person would, but then catches sight of the clouds of smoke surrounding our group and glares at me, or rather, my hand.
"That had better not be yours, Kai." She says, folding her arms across her chest and sticking one hip out, making herself look an awful lot like an angry parent. Right on cue, Tala finishes his laces and stands up, beaming at Marie.
"Nope, it's mine." He takes it back from me and grins again. "Thanks Kai!" He says in a sing-song voice. Tala, you are a saint. The white-haired woman's eyes flash dangerously but she nods at the redhead, before turning her aqua gaze back to me.
"Kai, what did you do to Rei?" And look at that, one question asked and all eyes on me. I raise an eyebrow, which is basically my body language for 'continue'. "He ran into the kitchen, sat at the table and broke down into tears! What the hell happened to him?"
"Tears?" … That's not quite what I'd had in mind to say, but obviously my heart jerked my mind's questions out of the way and spoke first; and my heart wants to know why he's crying.
"Yeah, tears. What happened?" I hate her when she's acting like a parent. I don't want Rei to be crying. I don't want Marie here crowding me and accusing me of upsetting him. I don't want Tala to keep choking on the smoke of that damned cigarette he's holding, and I certainly don't want Rei to be crying! … I covered that one once already, huh.
"Move." I shove past her, discretely taking the cig from Tala on my way through, though I'm sure she noticed anyway. I'm going straight to the kitchen and talking to him, properly this time. I can't stand the thought of him sitting there, upset when he has no reason to be. My poor little Rei. I just want to wrap him up in my arms and cuddle him... Oh no, wait, it's Tala that I want to do that to. Rei I just want to hold onto forever because he's amazing. Little over the top? I think not.
I've just walked into the kitchen after walking all the way round the side of the house instead of in the front, (that way I got to finish off my cig first, aha, sneaky!) and it's such a sad sight; Marie wasn't lying. He's just sitting there, head in his hands, sobbing. I walk toward him, albeit a little nervously, and lay a hand on his shoulder, making him jump. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and sighs deeply, laying his head back down. I pull up the chair next to him and touch his hand to get his attention again.
"What's wrong, Rei?" I wish I could just kiss it all better, Rei. Talk to me… Let's try that one again, a little more vocally, shall we? "Talk to me." Much better! Three cheers Kai. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Sarcasm. I occasionally hate my sarcastic nature but most of the time I really do love it, especially when I'm talking to Tala, he's too naïve most of the time to realise I'm taking the piss.
"Kai… I…" He sobs, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry I ran off. I just…" Before I know it, Rei's arms are flung around my neck and he's sobbing pitifully into my shoulder. I've never been in this situation before, but I do the only thing I can think of in the comforting line, I let him into my embrace and hug him back, not a very good one probably, but it's a hug none the less. Now, my comforting skills aren't really up to scratch and I'm not entirely sure what to do. I've never had to comfort anyone before and I've never been comforted before so I don't have much of a clue in this department. I've seen mothers cradling their children who have slipped over on the icy paths, but if I picked Rei up and started rubbing his leg I think he'd be less than impressed. If it were different circumstances then my mind would have automatically porno-fied that statement, but luckily, even I am not that bad.
"Rei?"
"Sorry Kai." He suddenly pulls himself out of the hug and smiles, wiping his eyes. Much as I like to see him smile, I would rather he'd have stayed in my arms. His mood swings are worse than Tala's. One minute, crying. Next minute, perfectly fine. What am I meant to do? "I didn't know what to say at the time. I know that running off wasn't the best thing to do though, I didn't mean to… Hurt you?" He asks the last bit as though it could actually be impossible to hurt the great Kai Hiwatari (that's an ego booster for you), but no Rei. I can get hurt, and you managed to break through the shell. Kami, he's so beautiful when he smiles. I think I need to have an 'Emergency Talk' with Tala again. That basically means he gives me a hard slap across the face (not literally, because I'd kill him) to make me think straight and stop being such a wet fish. Relatively speaking.
"No problem." What? What am I saying? No problem? No problem? I slid down a wall, bit my own hand and had a cigarette thank you very much, and here I am saying 'no problem'! Damn heart. My mind would have got it right. "Why were you crying?"
"Because…" There's that adorable blush again. I don't know why he's always so shy around me these days, he used to be such a confident guy. "I-didn't-want-to-hurt-you-or-anything-because-I-didn't-want-you-to-go." … Say that again a little slower? I'm not even sure his babble made sense. I raise an eyebrow and watch as he blushes even deeper than before, turning away slightly. What am I going to do with him? He's acting like a fan girl!
…
A fan girl?
…
But fan girls love me (much to my disgust, admittedly). Rei can't… No. I'm kidding myself.
…
"Rei?" His eyes are just so beautiful. Why does he look so nervous? He can't be… Can he?
"Hmm?" But if he's not then why is he acting this way? The way he looked nervous earlier when we were so close to each other, the way he blushes and turns away… Could it be that..?
"You…" I don't even remember what I was going to say. I swear he's closer than he was a minute ago. I wonder what would happen if I put my hands on his hips. Would he return the favour or would he rush over to the kitchen drawer and find a knife? I guess I won't know if I don't try, but I'd rather not get knifed, much less by my crush in my own home.
"I, what, Kai?" The words 'love you' would have fitted that sentence much more nicely than 'what', don't you agree? But I've just realised why he said it, I never finished my…
"You're amazing." Did I really just say that out loud to Rei? Holy shit! He's laughing… Blushing… Beautiful deep eyes… Soft lips… My eyes are closed and I can still imagine what he looks like. He's so perfect. Wait, my eyes are closed? Am I about to make a huge fool out of myself by opening them and realising he's walked to the other side of the kitchen to get that knife? Or am I going to… Something is touching me. Or more to the point, someone. Rei… I open my eye slightly and, Kami, he's so close. His lips are right there in front of me – Dare I?
I dare. What the hell, it's Christmas tomorrow. I can feel myself leaning forward. Still, what's the worst that can… Fuuuuuck! I'm kissing Rei! This is every innocent Rei related dream I have had over the past three and a half years, all rolled into one that is about ten, no, one hundred times better! I need another cold shower. Preferably right now. He's… Amazing. Though I knew he would be. I could tell. The fact that his grip around my waist is starting to choke me has made me realise that we appear to have thrown our arms around each other somewhere along the line – Kudos to us, eh?
"Bout fucking time!"… Tala you asshole!
Rei has jumped backwards and is blushing profusely, which is rather sweet, actually, while I am leant, well, half sitting, half standing against the table for the pure reason that if I don't lean on something, I will probably fall over. I glare toward the doorway, where Tala is standing with his arms open and an extremely proud look on his face – Proud of himself, not of me, may I add. Call yourself a best friend you redheaded moron? You've just ruined the best moment of my entire life. He's walking over here looking like he's going to hug me, so round about now would be when I walk away and prove how unimpressed I am. So that's what I do. Although my back is turned as I 'retreat the scene', I can tell that Tala has let his arms drop and that his is pouting… I can practically feel that pout. It's difficult not to turn around to check that I'm right, but I know that if I do, if he is pouting, I will be caught. I shoot a sideways glance at Rei and he immediately smiles at me. I mouth the words 'talk later' and he nods. I'm so fucking glad that he didn't blank me and then go on to say that he regrets everything and it was all a big mistake… Uh, but there's still later. He might. No Kai, bad thoughts.
Well, things went well, relatively. Maybe my wish will come true? Wake up with Rei in my arms on Christmas morning… Open presents together while eating mince pies and drinking milk… Sigh. Perfect. It's Christmas tomorrow and I can't bloody wait.
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