LINER NOTES:
I am so, so, so, so, so sorry! There really is a good reason it's taken me two weeks to write this - several, actually.
1. I got (majorly) sick.
2. While trying to write a particularly stubborn section, I got grounded . . .
3. And coming off grounding, I got royally sick again. (We're talking a fever of 104.8 here.)
4. Finally . . . have you seen the length of this thing? No? I recommend you look at the move-bar on the right side of your
screen . . . yes . . . that one. See? ON AN INCIDENTAL NOTE: If you add me to your Favorites list or Author
Alert! list, I would appreciate it if you would send me an email so I can read YOUR work! I have found some of my
favorite stories by checking out the accounts of the people who have added me to their own Favorites or Author Alert! lists,
but the number of people on my "Stats" list is getting too great for me to simply check everyone's name every now and again
to see who's new. Of course, this doesn't mean you HAVE to send me an email to add me to your list . . . but you never
know, if you do you might one day just end up with an email in your inbox asking if I can borrow a small implement you've
used - and then your name goes in my work as someone I've borrowed from, and believe you me, it's possible to get a LOT
of readers that way. (I've gotten a lot more emails from people on this site since Eleonora1 added me to her favorites list.) So
if you'd be so kind as to take the time . . . freesongspirit yahoo. com (without the spaces, of course)!
OTHER ANNOUNCEMENTS: Technically nobody would expect me to put this, I don't think, but I will because I set a
goal in the early days of "Bottle of Ink" that is no longer feasible. My original goal was three chapters per week every week
until it was done. However, I've encountered forces beyond my control (Chemistry class, occasional writer's block, limited
computer time, chores, etc.) that have made this impossible. Therefore, I'm now aiming for a target of ONE CHAPTER
PER TEN DAYS. This benefits not just me, but you all as well - when I have longer to write I am better able to indulge in
the wordplay that I love so much (and that so many people have emailed telling me they love), plus my chapters are longer
and better written overall. So don't panic if I don't update for a week or two - I will NOT be abandoning this story - in fact,
last night the PERFECT ending came to me at one o'clock in the morning and I had to get up to write it down, because I was
sure I'd forget it otherwise! (gotta love those sugar-induced dreams . . . ) However, I did feel I should let you all know that
the lag time between updates will be longer, to the benefit of everyone. (Plus it gives me more time to get more reviews. Have
I mentioned reviews are an essential part of a healthy author's diet?)
DISCLAIMER: Well . . . I have the insanely long wait down pat . . . and my hair IS blonde . . . (Only MINE is natural,
not out of a box . . . ) but I didn't create these characters or the universe they live in . . .
RATING: This chapter is rated PG-13 for language, homosexuality, and general maturity of content.
REVIEWS: YIKES! SEVEN reviews! That's a record for a chapter! (Maybe I should aim for an update a week to let
my readership build . . . ? Chappies would get better, too . . . )
GENERAL THANKS TOSummer, Nightshade-013, Ayune: You guys are the reason I've struggled for the past two
weeks to get this out, past a massive writer's block . . . Thank Merlin the next five chapters or so are almost completely
done! (This just wormed its way in here . . . )
Eleonora1: I hear that a lot. No, really, I do. I'm one of the six impossible things the White Queen believed in before
breakfast (Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Saw There). Yes, the band is sticking around . . . they may be more
important than you're aware . . . -coughcough- I shouldn't've told you that. Glad you liked it . . . here, here's a new chappie,
will you stop threatening me now? Charming though your devotion is, I really don't care to be tied to this chair and forced
to write . . . it's a rather uncomfortable chair, on account of being broken . . .
ThePurpleEmperor: No, no - I'm saying, IN-JOKES. As in, lots of the bloody things. Plot lines that unfold right in the
lines of your copy of the canon. (I have an outline for four separate one-shots written down on a paper I taped to the back
of Prisoner of Azkaban that I put there so I wouldn't lose it . . .) I'm glad you love this so much! I actually take very little
time with the comedy scenes, and the Irregulars have come to be based more off my lunch table than being "complete"
OC's (with the exceptions of Raven and Sinelle, of course). So - I'll pass the compliment on to the gang tomorrow!
Yulara: -blush- Funny things like that? I don't write them. They write themselves in my head at night when I can't sleep.
(Odd solution to insomnia, but it works . . . eventually I giggle so hard I pass out.) Just set up a basic scenario and they'll
write themselves - for example, I knew that Remus was going to be constantly reminding them that he's a teacher here in an
attempt to keep the R-rated humor to a minimum - and most of the scene came out of that in twenty minutes.
ImmortalFlick: Yay! She read it . . . and liked it! My Remus - actually most of the main characters' personalities - are
based off different facets of me. Severus is my ironical Brit side, Remus is the most like me (right down to the way he gets
mad - but the Patented Remus Blush is courtesy of my best friend), Hermione is - well, Hermione is also like my best
friend, but Ron - poor, clueless Ron - is based off me, teasing abovementioned friend. (Poor Alicia - she puts up with so
much.) So if you like my Remus - you like me! Yay-is happy-
As always . . . dedicated to Eleonora1, ImmortalFlick, and my best friend Alicia.
Enjoy!
.:":.Haruka.:":.
Three weeks after Hallowe'en came the second Hogsmeade weekend of the school year (the first being, of course, the
Saturday before Hallowe'en). Harry had planned to go to the Wizarding village with Ron and Hermione, but as always
lately, his plans were upset - this time by Ron, who apologetically told Harry he wanted to go alone with Hermione and
would Harry mind? Harry was thrilled that his best friends were finally learning to stop being so bloody shy around each
other and were starting to go out, but it did mean he'd be going into Hogsmeade alone - if he went at all. He briefly
considered the idea of asking Luna Lovegood to go with him, and then decided it would seem too much like a date - one
dance at Hallowe'en indicated nothing, except that she'd wanted to dance. If he knew who some of her friends were it
might have been different, but Harry only knew Ginny. He thought of going with her, and came to the same conclusion he
had with Luna. Privately he wished Fred and George and Lee Jordan and Angelina and Alicia were still around, even if they
were all older than him. It would be practically pointless to go to Hogsmeade alone.
Suddenly it occurred to him to see if perhaps Remus wanted to go - everyone was perfectly aware that Remus had become
Harry's guardian over the summer, and they'd also more than appreciated the fact that Remus was, in his own words, "a
sixteen year old who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and said 'What the bloody hell happened to me, I have
laugh lines!'" Therefore, nobody would think it odd or inappropriate for Harry to be spending a day in Hogsmeade with his
favorite adult. Remus would be perfectly good for a joke or two and a trip to Zonko's, and Harry rather fancied that
Remus' odd sense of humor would enjoy gathering the naive third-years around a table in the Three Broomsticks and telling
them all about the vicious spirits in the Shrieking Shack.
Harry turned away from the lake (he'd been brooding, having finished his breakfast long before the actual end of the meal),
preparing to go talk to Remus - when he saw the blonde in question sitting beneath the weeping willows next to another
part of the lake, his head resting on a black-clad shoulder, his arms around a similarly clothed waist. Harry felt betrayed. He
turned again, resolutely showing his back to the oblivious couple on the opposite bank, and stalked back into the castle.
Harry walked around aimlessly for almost two hours before he ran into Lisa Turpin (1), a Ravenclaw from his Dark Arts
class. They walked through the open corridor between the trophy room and the room that had held Fluffy the three-headed
dog in Harry's first year, discussing the last class that Wednesday. Snape had passed around a real dragon's-tooth
necklace, an "awesome" artifact in Ron's words and a "very rare and potentially dangerous item" in the words of Harry's
most hated professor. Lisa, whose sister was a dragon-keeper like Ron's brother Charlie, had been particularly impressed.
The tooth was close to four inches long, and was secured as an ornament by way of a leather thong wrapped in a criss-
cross around the base (the tooth hung with the sharp point facing down), tied in a knot at the top, and then continued
around as the necklace itself. Snape had given them a good deal of background on it - the displaced fang came from a
Peruvian Vipertooth, the smallest dragon known to the Wizarding world. It was one of the "purest specimens" ever created
while most dragon's teeth prepared for sale were filed (to remove the extremely sharp tip and the root of the tooth),
sanded, bleached, polished, and varnished (all of which lowered the magical potency of the tooth, according to Snape), this
particular one only had the root and the razor-sharp tip removed. Lisa had been impressed, and, she told Harry, had asked
Snape if it would be a good idea to write to her sister to find out more. In a rare show of "I-may-not-be-the-biggest-
expert-on-this-subject-and-therefore-we-should-get-outside-information," Snape had invited her to do so and had even
offered House points in exchange. "He's really changed this year," Lisa told Harry. "He even asked me if I was considering
becoming a Healer when we did Mandrake Draughts a couple of weeks ago in Potions - he's never said anything like that
to any of us before." Harry assumed she was referring to her Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff classmates, though the statement
applied to Gryffindors as well.
"I don't think he's so wonderful," Harry informed his classmate. "I mean, all right, so he's acting a bit different. He still
terrorized me for five years, a lot of the time for things I didn't even do, or he'd misplace blame. On purpose. The best thing
he ever did for me was when he cut down Umbridge last year."
This statement led to several moments of abusing Umbridge, and Harry had a particularly juicy morsel to add - her display
over Remus' teaching had caused a bit of an uproar in the Ministry, and there was a possibility she'd have to stand before
the Wizengamot for throwing her weight around one too many times in one too many wrong ways, for one too many bad
reasons. "I hope she gets Azkaban," Lisa said. "She thinks just because she's got the Minister's stamp of approval, she
owns us all. I wanted so many times, so badly, to tell her my mother is Assistant Head of the Department of International
Magical Cooperation . . . I'd love to see how she'd react to that, finding out she couldn't just - toss us around because she's
an Assistant in the Ministry. 'Oh, and Umbridge, my father is a Muggle. Does that make me a half-breed?' I should have
asked her that in class, I really, really should have . . . "
Harry laughed bitterly and showed her his scar from his detentions with the evil toad. "Not unless you want one of these."
Lisa looked sick. "She made you write lines with a Sectumius Quill? (2) Why didn't you report her?"
"Do you honestly think anybody could have done anything?"
Lisa shrugged. "I suppose not . . . still . . . " She appeared lost in thought for a moment. "Well, I have to go - I promised
Professor Snape I'd let him see my sister's answer, and she wrote back to me today. You should hear some of the things
they've done to dragons over the years just to get teeth - it's unbelievable! I wouldn't have believed it myself if it wasn't
listed in the Tower Library, too. See you later, Harry."
After Lisa's departure, Harry stared, brooding, at the shield listing the members of the 1977-1978 House Quidditch teams.
His father had played Seeker for two years - fourth year and fifth year - and then stepped down because he wanted to play
Chaser instead (3). Harry paused, suddenly, his eyes riveted. Gryffindor House - Seeker - Remus Lupin (Y 7). Remus
played Quidditch? Harry never knew that. Sirius was a Beater from third year until sixth year, but for some reason Harry
didn't know, he'd left the team before the first game of his seventh year. Wormtail never played. He wasn't a good enough
flyer. Harry felt a hot worm of hate burn into his stomach and nestle at the bottom, twisting around his intestines, like a
malicious strangler fig. Then he saw something else that shocked him even more than Remus as Seeker. Embedded in the
shield were photographs of the teams, and he recognized someone in the Slytherin photograph. Tall, thin, long black braid.
Two silver bracelets on his right wrist (4), silver-buttoned black boots. Large dark eyes. Harry's eyes darted to the name-
plaque for confirmation. Slytherin House - Seeker - Severus Snape (Y 7). Unbelievable.
Harry sank down next to the tall cabinet and leaned his weight against the stone base, thoughts whirling randomly in his
brain. And then -
"You really ought to ask him, you know."
Harry jumped up, eyes darting warily all around the trophy room. "Who said that?"
"I did." The voice was on the wall behind him now. Harry whirled and started. He recognised the man in the portrait -
Remus Lupin - 1379-1452. "R-R-Remus?"
The man in the portrait smiled, and Harry all but died from shock. If it hadn't been for the Shakespearean clothing, blue
eyes, and the odd haircut, Harry would have sworn he was looking right at his guardian. Even the way this man held himself
was the same. "I do not recall seeing you before, young master. It behooves you to explain your behavior."
"You - you -" Harry mouthed soundlessly. Finally, after a stern glance from the portrait, he finished lamely, "You look - I
mean - my - someone I know - he looks exactly like you."
"Your current Defense teacher, I expect."
Harry stared. "How did you -"
The portrait waved his hand through the air impatiently. "Quite simple, young master. Remus comes here quite often. But I
sense something is troubling you in regard to my many-times great-grandson (5). I would suggest you talk to the
Headmaster. Professor Dumbledore is capable of solving many a problem both academic and personal. Yours revolves in
both spheres of your life, does it not?"
Harry wasn't exactly sure how to answer - he'd never heard a portrait that talked so formally. Even the older portraits in the
main part of the castle could converse just like the students, for the most part. "Er - I guess so. Erm - why are you here,
anyway? In the trophy room, I mean?"
Portrait-Remus smiled again eerily - eerily if only because it was like looking at a Remus clone. "Many, many years ago,
Mr. Potter - oh, I would think you should not be so shocked. My descendant speaks quite frequently of you. I should be
quite remiss if I did not recognise you by now. No Lupin has ever been so foolish or unobservant. But I digress, do I not?
Many, many years ago - several hundred years by now, I am sure (6), if my heir's commentaries are any sort of reliable
indication - I was highly rewarded for removing the threat of a budding, but still highly malevolent, Dark wizard from this
school upon discovering his attempt to drown a half-blooded student. He admitted under the influence of a highly potent
Veritas Venenum cordial that he planned to remove from the school those not of pureblood descent. Sadly,
he was the heir of one of the Founders - it caused quite a scandal. Though I understand that even his heir is
quite alive and well and still causing mayhem in your world today."
"Voldemort."
It was strange to see someone who actually looked puzzled at the name instead of fearful (most people),
angry (Snape - there he was again, popping into Harry's thoughts like an unwanted canker sore, damn him-
and the Death Eaters), or determined (people like Dumbledore and Remus). Finally the portrait's slightly
thrown look faded, and he mused, "Yes, that may have been the name. You are familiar, then, with the
history?"
"You could say that."
Footsteps sounded outside the door. "Honored Grandfather (8), are you awake?" The voice sounded thin
and tired. Harry knew instantly who it was. He also knew he didn't want to face his guardian right now. So he
turned and headed for the other exit, but not quickly enough to miss the portraits final words: "Ask him."
Harry had to go through twenty-three separate sweets before he found the correct password to the
Headmaster's office ('Canary Creams,'), but he finally gained entrance. The headmaster was waiting for him
at the top, with the usual "Harry, my boy, how good to see you." (Harry cringed internally at the "my boy." He -
really - was getting too old for that.) Dumbledore offered him a sherbet lemon, which he of course refused -
and then, trying for once to shock his elder, Harry continued, "No milk, please, Sir."
Dumbledore merely gave his patented twinkle. "Have I become that predictable in my age, Harry?" (How
had he known to drop "my boy" so quickly?)
If Harry had been a girl, he might have pouted. As he was, he merely looked slightly put out. "Even when I
deliberately try to leave you speechless I can't do it."
Dumbledore twinkled again. "It takes a good deal more than that to shock me, Harry." (There was the switch
again - and Harry'd been expecting a "my boy" that time.) He paused to take a sip of his own tea. "I take it
you wish to see your school documents?"
Harry gaped as the headmaster pushed a file across the desk they were sitting at. "I must request that your
portfolio does not leave my office, Harry - students have been known in the past to lose important pieces of
information, some of which were never found. I believe your guardian once took his file to the Tower Library,
only to somehow misplace the documents that allowed him to attend. We took nearly three weeks searching
for them before he recalled using his Ministry acceptance letter as a placemarker in a Wizarding copy of
The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe. (9) An excellent book, to be sure, but not an excellent place to
leave an important document. You are welcome to the space in front of my fire, however, if you are careful
with the records, Harry." (and he hadn't even had to use Harry's name there. It was like he'd put it in on
purpose.)
Harry sat down in front of the fire after nodding his thanks, taking a second cup of tea and the surprisingly
Mugglesque manilla folder with him. He flipped it open and surveyed the documents within carefully, one at a
time, moving them so that they never got out of order. First was a copy of his birth certificate, then a copy of
his acceptance letter to Hogwarts, followed by his first year exam results and recommendations from all his
teachers that he be allowed to continue his studies (10), with an added referendum by Snape saying that
Harry "may wish to consider" having "extended instruction" in Potions to make up for "an unusual amount of
inexperience" in the subject. (Harry could only assume this was a nice way of saying he needed Remedial
Potions because he was terrible in regular lessons - Remus hadn't been joking when he said carrying on a
normal conversation with the git practically required a dictionary.) After the letters came examples of his best
written work from the year, and then a similar pattern for his second year, though here the teachers merely
commented on his progress (neither year contained a letter from a Defense teacher, understandably). The
pattern deviated slightly then, with a list showing Harry's new classes, and then at the end Remus' letter, the
first from a Defense teacher, to the Headmaster and the Board of Governors:
It has come to my attention that Harry Potter (Y 3) shows exemplary understanding and ability in the subject
of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I would strongly suggest that Harry be permitted to test out of the class
and continue with private tutoring, which would better fit his current needs and serve to develop his natural
talents.
-
The letter went on to discuss Harry's "outstanding" abilities (and to mention the so-called "private tutoring"
he had sought on the dementor issue) and then outlined the subjects the class had covered, highlighting how
Harry's abilities had risen above the expected Ministry standard. Harry'd read about half of it (it was close to
six inches long, a good deal when Remus' almost microscopic writing was taken into consideration) when
he lowered the parchment, deep in thought. Remus had thought that much of him as a student - as a person
when he was only thirteen years old, when nobody else thought him capable of carrying even his own
burdens, much less those he was destined to bear.
Fourth year ran the same as third, with the exception that there was again no Defense letter. Fifth year
brought many changes: first, a short and scathing note from Dolores Umbridge (sadistic bitch, Harry
thought), demeaning his every ability; next, Snape's letter had changed. He noted "marked improvement in
practical work" and that "Mr. Potter has become far more cooperative in lessons." (Of course he had - his
anger had all been spilled on Umbridge to the point that there was little but table scraps left for Snape.)
Following the "best work" section came a short note Harry did not expect, and he grinned slightly when he
read it. It was the only thing in his file that seemed written in multiple hands, and he did a double take upon
seeing it.
I, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, have been notified that
an extensive practical Defense group was begun, organized, and maintained by Mr. Harry Potter (Y 5) and
two of his friends. With the approval of the Board, I have requested that his second in command, Miss
Hermione Granger, give here an account of their group, "Dumbledore's Army," and the subjects taught
within, as well as any other pertinent information.
Hermione had dealt in spades, giving a full list of the ages of the members (ranging from 12 to 18), the skills they'd mastered
(two members of the Board of Governors had made note, in the margin, of the fact that several second-years had been
positively tested for Patronus skills, as well as many other above-O.W.L. abilities, upon the receipt of Hermione's account),
and the plans Harry had been putting into practice when the D.A. was interrupted by Umbridge. There were more notes on
the parchment by other Governors, plus a short referendum by the Minister of Education written at the bottom. Harry was
more than slightly stunned. Directly behind this startling find was a copy of his career consultation with McGonagall, as well
as several comments from his Head as to how he could continue to improve his studies and shape them to his desired
vocation. He found a copy of his custody documents from that summer, paper-clipped to a photograph of Remus
(presumably for identification - Harry couldn't think of another reason there might be such a photograph in his file). Past that
came his O.W.L. scores and a list of the subjects he was still taking - followed by the thing he'd been looking for. His
recommendation letters for the Dark Arts class. Harry frowned as he tried to remember why this was important. He
couldn't for the life of him think of why this had been bothering him. Then it hit him like a brick wall - he was taking enough
subjects for all five letters, yet he was certain that with Umbridge in power last year he should only have been able to get
four referrals. He flicked through them. McGonagall. Flitwick. Sprout (apparently working with Dark plants like Devil's
Snare or Venomous Tentaculae was enough for a Herbology referral). Hagrid (and it seemed the same went for Dark
creatures like Thestrals). And then he stopped so short he almost dropped the last letter in Dumbledore's fireplace by
accident.
To whom it may concern:
After working extensively in both Potions and Occlumency with Mr. Potter during his fifth year, I have concluded that he is
of a determined and resourceful mindset, eager to share his extensive knowledge with those around him, and willing to learn
insofar as he can insure that the subjects he has set his time to will be of use in his chosen career. He is fully capable of
identifying and brewing antidotes for all forty-six poisons in the eight subsections studied before N.E.W.T. level and has
shown unusual understanding of the written work in Potions, his practical work being above average when paired with a
competent partner.
During Mr. Potter's third year I on several occasions instructed him in Defense Against the Dark Arts and found him to be
well-versed and exemplary in his understanding of the subject. He has been a proven source of knowledge and assistance
to those around him and it is with these strengths in mind that I fully recommend him for a seat in the N.E.W.T. Dark Arts
class at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Professor Severus N. Snape
Potions
Harry stared, his hands trembling ever so slightly. He'd never have made it into the class if he hadn't gotten a
reference from Potions - it was on the requirements list Hermione had dug up from (where else?) the library -
Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts letters were all required (the last
requirement had been lifted for last year's class, because Umbridge wasn't likely to write a letter for
ANYBODY - in fact, the only people she'd written letters for were Malfoy and his posse). It was one reason
the class was nearly impossible to get into. He wondered why he hadn't remembered that - or had some
small part of his brain, that part that had thought for sure he would be a prefect, the part that had raged all
last year about all he'd done, had that part managed to convince him, albeit subconsciously, that
Dumbledore would just worm him in?
"I presume you've found what you're looking for, Harry?" Dumbledore peered over the tops of his glasses,
twinkling at his favorite student.
"Er. Yeah, I think, most of it. Erm - Professor Dumbledore?"
"Yes, Harry?" (There it was again!)
"Sir - I know this is probably going to sound like a really stupid question but -"
"There are no stupid questions, Harry, except those meant to belittle another or another's experience. Any
question asked honestly is perfectly intelligent." (Now where had he heard that before?)
"Er - right. Er - if I hadn't got all the letters I needed for the Dark Arts class -"
"You are referring to your letter for Potions?" (How did he know that?)
"Er - yeah. I mean - would I still have - er - well -"
"There is a clause, Harry, which your friend Miss Granger may have missed, it being little more than an
incidental added at some point within the last two hundred years. The Board eventually realized that there is
a small degree of human error that, in spite of our best efforts, must surely give some degree of inaccuracy
to everything we say and do. It was with this in mind that the then-members of the Board of Governors
created the Competency Clause, a corollary to the original rules of the class. If you were proven more than
competent in all other subjects, one of the required letters could be dropped. This would have resulted in you
having only four letters, but due to the - er - restrictions we were placed under last year, you would not have
been the only student with that dilemma - indeed, I believe no less than four of your classmates fell into that
category. You would still have been permitted into the class based upon your excellent recommendations,
and O.W.L.s, from your other classes. It is a rule that applies to all. I fear you have become too conscious of
yourself, Harry. It is never a good idea to spend so much time in retrospect that you cease to grow for fear of
becoming that which you do not wish to be."
Harry gathered the documents (after determining that it was indeed Remus and not the Dursleys who'd
signed him into the class - he had a feeling it wouldn't have been, but the slightly twisted sense of humor he
seemed to be picking up from Remus demanded that he check), carefully tapped the folder on the floor to
shuffle them all back down to the bottom, and handed it to Dumbledore with a "thanks." He had his hand on
the doorknob when something occurred to him. Harry turned around slowly.
"Sir?"
Dumbledore looked up. "Yes, Harry?" (At least now he'd know . . .)
"You were using Legilimency on me - earlier - weren't you?"
Dumbledore smiled. "When I am in the company of a troubled individual better at stating his or her thoughts
through actions instead of words, I do confess to finding it a useful tool for aiding someone in need."
"Is that why you -"
"You may be interested to know that even Remus still falls under the category of a boy to me, Harry - and he
doesn't like it any more than you do." The headmaster sighed. "One of the disadvantages, I fear, of old age.
But get along, Harry, get along. You have someone to see, do you not?"
Remus rolled his back over the top edge of the sofa, listening to the popping sounds and groaning in agony
before allowing himself to relax back onto the seat. "I hate having to crack my own back," he complained
good-naturedly as Harry walked in.
"You wouldn't have to if you hadn't spent all last night out howling at the moon," Severus responded, quirking
his eyebrow. Remus floundered for a mere half a second.
"I completely resent that, Severus. I was not out all of last night. And - and it certainly wasn't the moon I was
howling at."
Severus closed his eyes, looking like he was trying to keep his patience. Harry recognised the motion from
class. "Then what, may I ask, were you howling at?"
"Er -" Remus looked like he was trying to remember something - then his face turned red as he spoke,
slowly prying each word out of an unwilling mouth. "I . . . don't think I should have to insult your intelligence by
telling you that . . . " He pled sheepishly with his eyes as Severus finally opened his own and looked at the
repentant blonde. "That really didn't work, did . . . it?" It wasn't really a question. Severus fixed him with a
slightly bemused look.
"Ah - no." Remus buried his face.
"I don't understand how you do it."
"The information you're supposedly withholding from me is information that would injure you, not me, with the
amount of knowledge currently held by our colleagues and the students. You're trying to intimidate me. It
would help if you didn't blush so bloody damn much." Which statement, of course, only served to make
Remus blush more.
"Sorry . . . "
Severus watched as Remus rolled his head on his neck, and made a revolted face as several loud popping
noises emitted from the same source. "You do realize you completely disgust everyone around you when
you do that."
"But it feels good when the vertebrae pop back into place so I'm not walking around like a hunchback."
"Sit up straight and you wouldn't have to pop them back in."
Remus just smiled and slipped his arms around Severus' waist. "You know, I suppose if I really wanted to
shut Malfoy up I could threaten to kiss him in front of the entire Great Hall at dinner. . . it'd be easier than
this . . . this . . . "
"Fill-in statements."
"Right."
"Er . . . " Harry, tired of feeling awkward, finally decided to make his presence known. Instantly he was
pierced by gold and black arrows.
"Hello, Harry. I thought you were going to Hogsmeade." Remus stretched his legs out along the magically-
lengthened sofa (no standard sofa in the world was long enough for Remus' legs, in spite of his short
stature), all but laying down right in Severus' lap.
The protest was immediate and very vocal. "Who gave you the right to turn my legs into a bed?"
"My rooms, my rules, Severus. And your legs simply happen to be in the way of my head." Remus patted the
floor in front of him. "Come have a seat. Where's Ron and Hermione?"
"In Hogsmeade. Ron asked if I'd mind not going. With them. I mean - er - not like that - it's just -" Harry
gestured helplessly with his hands from the spot he was still standing on.
"He's trying to woo the Granger girl," Severus informed Remus in a bored tone. Remus made a sound that
might have been roughly interpreted as "how cute." Severus snorted - and then froze like stone as Harry took
three hurried steps across the carpet, hugged him, and said "Thanks."
Harry almost wished he'd had Colin's camera - he'd never seen Severus completely and utterly speechless
before. Finally the dark-eyed man came out with a startled "What the hell was that for?" Remus' eyes flicked
upward, amused.
"Deciding I'm good at something." Harry turned and walked out, turning toward the Owlery.
Severus just sat, mouth slightly open, for several moments - it was, perhaps, as long as thirty seconds before
he spoke. Then: "What the hell -"
A single lazy finger came to rest on his lips. "Drop it."
"Drop it. He leaves something like that hanging out there and you're telling me -"
"Apparently, he knows. And he's not trying to kill us both with eye-daggers anymore, so drop it."
"Well -" Then again, it wasn't like he'd ever use the knowledge.
(the very, very, very long) REFERENCE NOTES (sorry):
(1) Not an OC! I checked my Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter, which contains a list of all the
people Sorted by name in Harry's year. If you want to check, you'll want to read Chapter Seven: The Sorting Hat in the
English edition of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone (Some of the names are different in foreign-language copies). Conversely,
you can also buy a copy of the Ultimate Unofficial Guide, which is a pretty darn cool book. I use it as one of my tools to set
up the complex, and not so complex, puzzles and riddles in my stories!
(2) Sectumius: I have NO IDEA if this is potentially correct Latin grammar or not (I just used a JKR trick here). The word
is derived from the Latin sectum, for "to cut, hurt, wound, amputate, divide, part."
(3) According to an online interview with JKR, James Potter was a Chaser for the Gryffindor House Quidditch team. Only
in the movie is he listed as a Seeker - however, due to some conflicts in the books (i.e. playing with the Snitch in the OotP
chapter "Snape's Worst Memory"), many people have come up with the theory that he played both (Ginny confirms that
this is possible in OotP when she tells Harry she's going to try out for Chaser after Harry is allowed back on the team as
Seeker). The Quidditch history of the teams when the Marauders were at school, as set down here (in part), was created
by me with no regard to any history set up by any other person in any way (except the basic information provided by JKR)
it is entirely my own. (You're welcome to borrow it if you wish, though - just put in one of those common courtesy notes
in that says it's a borrowed bit. Legally pushable? No. Nice thing to do? Absolutely - and I do it all the time.)
(4) These are getting WAY too long - so if you want to know the logic behind Severus wearing bracelets on his right wrist,
email me or say so in a (non-anonymous - as in, I need your email) review, and I'll give you the full story.
(5) I imagine even an Elizabethan version of Remus would get sick of listing about twenty or so "greats" before "grandson,"
and I know I sure would hate having to read them all. Anyway, I'd say the dates speak for themselves, wouldn't you?
(6) I don't remember where I read it, but there is a rather interesting theory that says that the portraits 'live' in a state of
suspended animated wakefulness - that's to say, they're perfectly capable of walking and talking and interacting with those
around them (animated wakefulness), but they neither truly experience anything nor age a day, and do not require any kind
of sustenance to continue existing (suspended animation). Therefore, they're completely unaware of how much time has
passed since they were painted unless they are told. Therefore, this Remus would have no idea that far from being in the
1300-1400's, when he would have been painted, he is now in fact in the late 1990's (going by the official timeline, available
on the Lexicon).
(7) veritas venenum: An exact translation of "truth potion" as taken from the original online Latin-to-English
dictionary. This would have been a more elementary and less potent, but no less effective, version of
Veritaserum. (Interesting but useless sidenote: "venenum" may also be used to mean drug or poison.)
(8) So it cuts out about 300 years worth of relationships. Do you honestly care enough to do the hours of
research to find an appropriate name, most likely in another old and very obscure language? I don't.
(9) Since I've received emails from a couple of people wanting to know how to spot the more subtle clues
and puzzles in "Bottle of Ink," and since these REFERENCE NOTES are going to be insanely long anyway,
I'm going to be kind and give you a hint here. This is in fact a threefold clue, something I'm famous for among
my friends:
1. This is the second time The Chronicles of Narnia have been referenced (see Chapter 7: The Birthday if
you don't remember the first time), plus, if you honestly care enough to read this thing twice (like I do with all
my Harry Potter canon or good fanfiction: once for enjoyment, then (in canon only) one chapter at a time
looking for clues, then as a whole looking for clues), you'll notice obscure references to Narnia in many
places (I'm not being THAT kind!). Now, with all the time I put into these things (yes, I do - about 20 hrs. a
chapter AT LEAST before it ever hits the computer screen, then another 3 or so typing and editing before
it's ever seen by another human being), do you - really - mean to tell me you honestly believe that's all by
accident? (JKR should have taught you better . . . -shakes head-)
2. I said "WIZARDING version." Does this mean there are moving pictures, or is there more to it? What are
we going to learn about C.S. Lewis as regards the Wizarding world? (I'll give you a hint: In a chapter coming
up, Remus is going to recite something the most rabid Narnia fans will never have heard - it'll sound vaguely
familiar, but I know you won't recognise it all . . . ) And why was Remus so interested in that particular book?
3. Part of my own quirky humor, but it's also part of a JKR reference straight from PoA: "The Boggart in the
Wardrobe" (chapter title) vs. The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe. It might help if you say it really, really
fast, like I did, and soon you'll hear it take on new sounds: "The Lion and Witch in the Wardrobe." Lion
something to be afraid of unless you know how to deal with it and witch well, duh, this IS the Harry Potter
universe, right?
So for those who emailed, here's your hint to help train your minds and scale some of the more difficult
train scaleplants . . . it should be something to really sink your teeth into . . .
(10) Geez, into the double digits . . . Hermione says in the first book that the outcomes of their exams will
affect whether or not they are permitted to continue studying (presumably so that if they are incompetent at
magic, they can return to the Muggle world with little or no disruption to their lives).
train scale