Disclaimer time - I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the characters in her Harry Potter series. I'm just borrowing them for a little chaos & dissolute fun & I promise to return them in an only somewhat disheveled state. At least, the chapter some of you have been waiting that should clear up a few questions. So enjoy & of course please review . . .what can I say, I'm addicted to reviews.
Arriving in Professor Dumbledore's office, Hermione saw an eclectic gathering of teachers, including Professors Snape, Lupin, McGonagall, and Hagrid along with Sirus and of course, Professor Dumbledore.
Hmmm, well this is bound to be interesting. I wonder what is going on, since no one is saying anything and no one will look at me. Oh no, my parents?!? I could feel the panic bubbling over, if Voldemort could get to Harry and Ron, he could get to my parents, but -.
"Now, Miss Granger, I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you to come here tonight, but I wanted to discuss something that I will announce to the rest of the school later on tonight," Professor Dumbledore began as my sudden panic attack began to evaporate just as suddenly.
"Oh, yes Professor, I heard about your announcement earlier this morning," I replied, still wondering what this `big announcement' had to do with me.
"You did," he asked, "but how?"
"From Ginny, Lavender and Parvati. I overheard them talking about it in the Gryffindor common room before breakfast."
"Oh excellent, Hermione. We were all understandably concerned about how you might take this news, but since you already know, well there is no reason to delay this reunion any further."
What is he talking about? Oh no, don't tell me they brought Krum back to visit me again. I'm so sick of people trying to "cheer me" up. Sighing under my breath, I begin to smooth out robes, while impatiently waiting to escape back up to my room.
And then I thought I died . . . but true to form, I simply passed out. I don't know how it was possible, but it was . . . Harry and Ron.
"Professor Dumbledore, obviously this was too much of a shock for the poor girl, perhaps we should take her to Madame Pomfrey? Poor Hermione . . . " I heard Professor McGonagall saying, while I was laying down on . . . on Dumbledore's couch? I started to open my eyes, only to remember . . . Oh My God?!?! I saw Harry and Ron? I decided to feign unconsciousness for a few more seconds, while I tried to get a grip on my world that suddenly gone askew.
"Doesn't she understand that we had to fake our deaths to try and trap Voldemort?" I heard Harry's frustrated voice. Wait - they faked their deaths? What? I can feel the tears starting to burn behind my eyelids, and started to blink them back. Looks like it might be time to "wake up".
And then I heard Ron complain, "look, we want to go and see our girlfriends, so can you explain to her when she wakes up and tell her we'll talk to her in a bit?"
"Yeah," Harry chimed in, "Hermione will understand."
Wait their girlfriends? They have to see their girlfriends? Their fucking girlfriends?!?! The door slams shut as they run off. Understand? Yes, maybe I'm beginning to understand. They start talking again about Harry, Ron and Voldemort.
"Awww!! What is that . . . " I feel myself grimacing as I gasp out, "smell?"
"Smelling salts, my dear," Professor McGonagall helps me sit, "they're just thing for someone like you, who has a bit of a shock. Now how are you feeling, Miss Granger? A little better?"
I nod my head, while coughing. God, that stuff really smells vile, and my eyes are tearing up even more, which is good so at least no one will suspect that I've been crying. I don't know why that is so important, but it is. I shouldn't be so focused on such a petty detail, but I don't know. Tears are just easier to deal with then my feelings about those two, I'll tackle that later. Looking up, I see everyone staring at me. Oh damn, I do not need this either. What I wouldn't I give for a troll right about now?
"Are you ok, Hermione?" Sirus asks me his voice scraping against my fragile nerves. Passing out again, as much as I'd like to, is simply not a valid action at this moment. This is just not fair, but I realize that everyone is waiting for my response.
"Yes, I'm fine. A bit confused, but I'm fine." I never knew that lying came so easily or convincingly to my lips, but as it turns out I got a lot of practice that night. So I sat there nodding seriously in agreement as they explained to me how Harry and Ron "had' to pretend that they were dead, since Sirius and Lupin had this great plan to capture him. Only, it didn't work, since the person they caught was Pettigrew, but in the end he escaped too. And although, they all really wanted to tell me, they couldn't because "I'm too honest" and it had to look real. Yeah, I was the perfect sucker, all right.
And when the story was finally over, Sirius had this look in his eye, like Lassie waiting for me to pat him on the head and tell what a good job he did saving the fucking day. I looked around and realized that none of these people, none of these adults who I had spent the entire last six years of my life struggling desperately to earn their respect and to make them proud of me, that none of them had the faintest inkling of how they betrayed me. Or of how much more I wished that I were dead now, then any other time in my life. I focused on the metallic taste of the blood in my mouth as if I was trying to memorize it, nearly biting through my check, because physical pain is easer then the emotional and mental.
After what seemed an eternity, it was over. So I picked up my bag and said good evening, I told I was too tired to go to dinner and that it would be best if I went to sleep. I said I'd talk to Harry and Ron tomorrow, after all I wouldn't want to "interrupt them." Numbly, I just walked. Where do you go, when there is no place to go? Eventually, I found myself outside on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, so I just dropped my bag and sat up against a tree. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I sat there staring up in the sky.
It's strange and scary that I can almost follow Sirius's logic, if I let myself I know I'll be able to rationalize this. If I don't think about it too hard, if I just forget the last month of grief, guilt and anger, if I just let things go back the way they were. I could, I know I could and it would be so easy, that is, after all, what everyone wants. What I can't forgive is that they, Harry and Ron, they let me find their bodies and everybody knew about it, everyone but me.
Me, of all the people?!?! I've protected them, I've lied for them, hell, I've done their fucking homework for years. And they told Lavender and Parvati?!?! What the fuck did they ever do? And Ginny, ok she is Ron's sister, but she also almost got us all killed with that damn diary! This is good, outraged anger is good. But I still can't help but wonder how, I mean how could they do this to me, how could they? "I just don't understand," I know there's no one to hear my plaintive voice, so I finally let myself to cry, under the open sky with no one in sight, except -
"Fancy meeting you out here, Granger. Hmm, I think I vaguely remember this being on that list of things that as prefects we aren't supposed to be doing. Now being a Malfoy that rule, of course, doesn't apply to me, but what are you doing out here?" Draco questioned her as he walked out into the moonlight. "So why don't you just tell me what the problem is & I'll go out and kill them for you," he offered, his gray eyes masking his intent concern as she continued to cry. Settling himself down beside her, he cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing away her tears.
Here's the list of those very wonderful people who continue to read & review me.
allee kat (who has to be my most faithful reviewer - thank you ;), Hermione, Caitie, DaZeD, Linnie, caD, sandy, Book-Lover-210, Megan, scythe_fire, Alanna, Angel, ViEiRA, hdsagjyaf (my very first reviewer ;), Sucker For Romance, Madame Padfoot, Jackie, Ally-sama & lastly wearenotamused (Hi Ellen ;). Quick question - someone commented on my switching from 1^st to 3^rd, so I promise to make my breaks cleaner, but it's bothering anyone else, please let me know, ok?
Once again, thank you all so very much . . . & please continue to read & review ;)
Arriving in Professor Dumbledore's office, Hermione saw an eclectic gathering of teachers, including Professors Snape, Lupin, McGonagall, and Hagrid along with Sirus and of course, Professor Dumbledore.
Hmmm, well this is bound to be interesting. I wonder what is going on, since no one is saying anything and no one will look at me. Oh no, my parents?!? I could feel the panic bubbling over, if Voldemort could get to Harry and Ron, he could get to my parents, but -.
"Now, Miss Granger, I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you to come here tonight, but I wanted to discuss something that I will announce to the rest of the school later on tonight," Professor Dumbledore began as my sudden panic attack began to evaporate just as suddenly.
"Oh, yes Professor, I heard about your announcement earlier this morning," I replied, still wondering what this `big announcement' had to do with me.
"You did," he asked, "but how?"
"From Ginny, Lavender and Parvati. I overheard them talking about it in the Gryffindor common room before breakfast."
"Oh excellent, Hermione. We were all understandably concerned about how you might take this news, but since you already know, well there is no reason to delay this reunion any further."
What is he talking about? Oh no, don't tell me they brought Krum back to visit me again. I'm so sick of people trying to "cheer me" up. Sighing under my breath, I begin to smooth out robes, while impatiently waiting to escape back up to my room.
And then I thought I died . . . but true to form, I simply passed out. I don't know how it was possible, but it was . . . Harry and Ron.
"Professor Dumbledore, obviously this was too much of a shock for the poor girl, perhaps we should take her to Madame Pomfrey? Poor Hermione . . . " I heard Professor McGonagall saying, while I was laying down on . . . on Dumbledore's couch? I started to open my eyes, only to remember . . . Oh My God?!?! I saw Harry and Ron? I decided to feign unconsciousness for a few more seconds, while I tried to get a grip on my world that suddenly gone askew.
"Doesn't she understand that we had to fake our deaths to try and trap Voldemort?" I heard Harry's frustrated voice. Wait - they faked their deaths? What? I can feel the tears starting to burn behind my eyelids, and started to blink them back. Looks like it might be time to "wake up".
And then I heard Ron complain, "look, we want to go and see our girlfriends, so can you explain to her when she wakes up and tell her we'll talk to her in a bit?"
"Yeah," Harry chimed in, "Hermione will understand."
Wait their girlfriends? They have to see their girlfriends? Their fucking girlfriends?!?! The door slams shut as they run off. Understand? Yes, maybe I'm beginning to understand. They start talking again about Harry, Ron and Voldemort.
"Awww!! What is that . . . " I feel myself grimacing as I gasp out, "smell?"
"Smelling salts, my dear," Professor McGonagall helps me sit, "they're just thing for someone like you, who has a bit of a shock. Now how are you feeling, Miss Granger? A little better?"
I nod my head, while coughing. God, that stuff really smells vile, and my eyes are tearing up even more, which is good so at least no one will suspect that I've been crying. I don't know why that is so important, but it is. I shouldn't be so focused on such a petty detail, but I don't know. Tears are just easier to deal with then my feelings about those two, I'll tackle that later. Looking up, I see everyone staring at me. Oh damn, I do not need this either. What I wouldn't I give for a troll right about now?
"Are you ok, Hermione?" Sirus asks me his voice scraping against my fragile nerves. Passing out again, as much as I'd like to, is simply not a valid action at this moment. This is just not fair, but I realize that everyone is waiting for my response.
"Yes, I'm fine. A bit confused, but I'm fine." I never knew that lying came so easily or convincingly to my lips, but as it turns out I got a lot of practice that night. So I sat there nodding seriously in agreement as they explained to me how Harry and Ron "had' to pretend that they were dead, since Sirius and Lupin had this great plan to capture him. Only, it didn't work, since the person they caught was Pettigrew, but in the end he escaped too. And although, they all really wanted to tell me, they couldn't because "I'm too honest" and it had to look real. Yeah, I was the perfect sucker, all right.
And when the story was finally over, Sirius had this look in his eye, like Lassie waiting for me to pat him on the head and tell what a good job he did saving the fucking day. I looked around and realized that none of these people, none of these adults who I had spent the entire last six years of my life struggling desperately to earn their respect and to make them proud of me, that none of them had the faintest inkling of how they betrayed me. Or of how much more I wished that I were dead now, then any other time in my life. I focused on the metallic taste of the blood in my mouth as if I was trying to memorize it, nearly biting through my check, because physical pain is easer then the emotional and mental.
After what seemed an eternity, it was over. So I picked up my bag and said good evening, I told I was too tired to go to dinner and that it would be best if I went to sleep. I said I'd talk to Harry and Ron tomorrow, after all I wouldn't want to "interrupt them." Numbly, I just walked. Where do you go, when there is no place to go? Eventually, I found myself outside on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, so I just dropped my bag and sat up against a tree. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I sat there staring up in the sky.
It's strange and scary that I can almost follow Sirius's logic, if I let myself I know I'll be able to rationalize this. If I don't think about it too hard, if I just forget the last month of grief, guilt and anger, if I just let things go back the way they were. I could, I know I could and it would be so easy, that is, after all, what everyone wants. What I can't forgive is that they, Harry and Ron, they let me find their bodies and everybody knew about it, everyone but me.
Me, of all the people?!?! I've protected them, I've lied for them, hell, I've done their fucking homework for years. And they told Lavender and Parvati?!?! What the fuck did they ever do? And Ginny, ok she is Ron's sister, but she also almost got us all killed with that damn diary! This is good, outraged anger is good. But I still can't help but wonder how, I mean how could they do this to me, how could they? "I just don't understand," I know there's no one to hear my plaintive voice, so I finally let myself to cry, under the open sky with no one in sight, except -
"Fancy meeting you out here, Granger. Hmm, I think I vaguely remember this being on that list of things that as prefects we aren't supposed to be doing. Now being a Malfoy that rule, of course, doesn't apply to me, but what are you doing out here?" Draco questioned her as he walked out into the moonlight. "So why don't you just tell me what the problem is & I'll go out and kill them for you," he offered, his gray eyes masking his intent concern as she continued to cry. Settling himself down beside her, he cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing away her tears.
Here's the list of those very wonderful people who continue to read & review me.
allee kat (who has to be my most faithful reviewer - thank you ;), Hermione, Caitie, DaZeD, Linnie, caD, sandy, Book-Lover-210, Megan, scythe_fire, Alanna, Angel, ViEiRA, hdsagjyaf (my very first reviewer ;), Sucker For Romance, Madame Padfoot, Jackie, Ally-sama & lastly wearenotamused (Hi Ellen ;). Quick question - someone commented on my switching from 1^st to 3^rd, so I promise to make my breaks cleaner, but it's bothering anyone else, please let me know, ok?
Once again, thank you all so very much . . . & please continue to read & review ;)