Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Radiata Stories. I wish I did…or at least I wish I owned Jack XD
Okay people…I see a lack of stories here in the RS section and decided to try one of my own. Please let me warn you that my humor is very weird and stupid. This isn't one of my better comedies, but I just wanted to try a RS fic of my own. Please don't flame me if this is just no good…you see there's this nifty option to delete stories, so if this flops I can erase it away and not disgrace a most uber-great game.
On a side note, if any of my Star Ocean buddies wonder over here I swear I'm going to finish my fics…but I just love Radiata Stories and when the section opened up I just couldn't help it.
And, final note, I'm not trying to keep anyone IC. I love humor fics with a touch of OOC, so that's what this is.
Idiocy Is Contagious
"Awww…come on Ridley. Please, please, please."
"No Jack. For the twentieth time, NO!"
Ridley crossed her arms and gave Jack a stare that would stop a goblin dead in its tracks.
Jack hung his head and swung it from side to side. He started to walk away, but a sudden and brilliant idea popped into his head. "I know! I bet Lily or Rachael will do it!"
"Really Jack. Do you want everyone to think you a complete moron? You already defeated the threat to humanity…do you really feel like this is necessary?"
Jack smiled a little too widely. "Absolutely! There are still innocents to protect. Where there is crime there is injustice and where there is injustice there is a need for a hero."
Ridley put her forehead in her hand. "You are already a hero. That should be enough. What you're doing here is nothing more then ridiculous."
"Humph, see if I even think about rescuing you now," Jack pouted.
"Fine, fine…I'm sure there's someone around here that will go along with this. Count me out. There's no way I'm putting an outfit like that on."
Jack snatched up the outfit in question. He hugged it to his chest as he walked to the door. "Fine, be that way. I'm going home…it's almost night time. That's when all the bad guys come out you know."
Ridley watched the door close and sighed. "He really doesn't get it does he? I guess I better follow him and make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble."
—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—
Mayhem on the Streets And…Gender confusion O.o
The night was young. The Super Powered Masked Avenger moved through the city…well more like over the city. He was jumping from roof top to roof top in search of danger. He would be the protector of the city and the one they call on for help…or at least they will once they knew about him. All he needed to do was find one bad guy to thwart. One bad deed to undo.
He stopped in the Blue Town of Water and Wisdom and tried frantically to adjust his cape. Unfortunatly, he had made it too big. He could fight with swords and axes and spears, but being a seamstress just wasn't his forte.
After adjusting his mask, he spotted his first target. Yes, there at the OK Hand Accessories shop. Only a criminal would be caught looking into the window of a closed store. And he was dressed in dark clothing…that was a sure sign of his guilt.
The Super Powered Masked Avenger moved silently as he crept up and prepared himself for a dramatic entrance. Jumping from the shop's roof, he landed mere inches from his target.
"Holy handcuffs and frosted glass!" The ninja jumped back in surprise, managing only to hit the wall.
"Don't think you can escape from The Super Powered Masked Avenger! I've caught you red handed you fiend!"
"Wha…Hey, I know you don't I?" The ninja took a good look at the strange boy in front of him. He was wearing a tight dark blue outfit, bright red gloves, boots, cape and mask. His brown hair is pushed back and his brown eyes peer suspiciously from the over sized holes in the mask.
"Know me?" The Avenger replied in a fake deep tone. "All those who break the law know and fear me!"
"No, no…that's not it. Weren't you the one who helped me with the rats? Yeah, I know that's you. You're Jack right?"
The Avenger took the ninja by the collar of his shirt and started shaking him. "The Super Powered Masked Avenger knows no one by that name. I'm…"
His words were cut short when someone walked by. Her flowing silver hair captivated the two and neither could do more than watch. When she was just about to pass by, she stopped and turned to them.
"STOP IT, STOP IT! I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown here. I…AM…A…MAN! Stop the gawking."
"Whoa, she is a man," the ninja whispered. "Maybe she…he needs a girlfriend."
The Avenger let go of the ninja and watched the 'way to pretty to be a man' man continue his walk down the street. He looked like a girl but sure didn't walk like a girl.
"Maybe he needs a boyfriend…ahhh, no no no. A hair cut! That's it, he needs a hair cut." Eon started running in circles for no apparent reason.
Felix stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes started to glow red. "Touch the hair and die."
"Oh, I'm going back to talk to the rats. At least I can tell them apart. People are just too confusing. First that Vitas dude…err chick and now this. I need my blankie."
"That's it!" The Avenger rubbed his hands together. "A challenge. I must find Felix a girlfriend. Then the whole city will see just a small fraction of my true power. Mwhahahahaha."
"Um, dude. The whole Mwhahaha thing is for the villain, not the hero…if that's what you are supposed to be." The ninja slowly inched himself way from the 'would be' super hero. "And rubbing your hands together like that is very incriminating. Maybe you should…"
"No time to talk now citizen. I have work to do."
With that, the Avenger jetted away from the very confused ninja. "Looks like we need a super hero to save us from our new super hero."
"I'm on it," said a female voice from behind Eon. Before Eon could blink, a shadow swept past him with grace.
"Now there's a hero."
"Did someone say a hero?" Charlie asked.
"W-where'd you come from?"
"Oh fooy and never you mind. I have me a hero to catch!" With that Charlie skipped gayfully away. (no pun inteneded)
—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—
"No, you got it all wrong. To talk to the dead…now that's the greatest gift of all."
"I'm sorry, but I would rather lure men in with my witchy charm and then scam money from them to fund my research."
"MELISSA! You shall rise again!" Ursula ran between the two, waving her arms frantically.
"OH PLEASE WAIT," Miranda begged, chasing after the deranged golem girl. "JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO MASTER GODWIN!"
Morgan turned to Claudia. "Now what was that about?"
Genius popped his head around the corner. "It's called Acute Masterious Disappearous Anxiety. When mixed with Golem Makous Stupindus Disorder; the results are what was just witnessed." Genius disappears. Where he went, I don't know and personally I'd think it best not too.
Claudia shrugged her shoulders. "Not everyday you see a monk chasing Ursula. You think one of them will die?" There was an eager gleam in her eyes.
"DIE? Not while the The Super Powered Masked Avenger is around!"
"Hey I know you…you're that little dweeb that I scam…err I mean that nice boy that helps fund my research."
"You know me not, fair citizen. Now I have a damsel to rescue."
"LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!" cried Felix.
"Hey, if you need someone dead then I'll do it. Only 40,000 dagol, that's all I ask."
"Iris, not in public!" screamed Lily.
"Oh, the public just loves me," squealed Rachael. "I must dance and sing."
"Yo! You vant me to play for you?"
"AHHHH," Marietta came out of no where and crashed right into Ernest.
"Help! I'm, veing attacked!"
"Never fear! The Super Powered Masked Avenger is here!"
"Ack! My ankle!"
"My Cape. You fiend, you will never get away with this." The Super Powered Masked Avenger quickly pulled Marietta off of Ernest. "Now, you will pay for the dry cleaner's bill you dastardly foe!"
"The power of Vitas compels you. Now let go of the girl you capped weirdo."
"No man is better then I, Alvin the Great. I shall save you! Hold on, Marietta, I'm coming to your aid."
"I'M A GIRL!" screamed Vitas.
"AND I'M A MAN!" screamed Felix.
"SAMURAI!" screamed Caesar from the top of the Vareth Magic Institue.
"If you ask me, I can take you all on!" replied Nina.
Alba, who just happened to be walking by, examined the scene. "Huh? Just how many super heroes are there?"
Jarvis threw his arm around Alba's shoulders. "Iw dunno, but this is wne hellasih party!"
"T-to many for m-m-me," stuttered Rolec.
"Grow a back bone," The Super Powered Masked Avenger said as he kicked the timid man.
Rolec bowed. "Thank you sir, can I have another?"
"I'm cutting you off!"
Rolec fell to his knees and clutched his head. "Nooooooooooo!" he screamed in a dramatic B rated movie way.
"Let's see…I count…one, two…ah there's too many would be super heroes here to count!"
"OH, I've died and gone to heaven!" squealed Charlie.
"Then who is the better?"
"I don't know. How about they fight it out. Last man, or woman standing is our new super hero!"
"Now I'd pay to see that," Conrad called out.
"It's settled then…Radiata will host its first annual Hero of the City Competition."
"That's just stupid," Elena said dryly from the corner.
—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo——oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—oo—
Um, good, bad? Just let me know what you think...like I said, if it's no good then I can erase it and try something else.