Author's Note: Here it is, chapter 4. I don't know if it's any good, so plz tell me your thoughts through the reviewing :D. Speaking of which, I would like to thank my very first reviewer for this parody - Aniah. Thankyou very much. Anyways, here it is. Oh and for those who have read my 'Troy:A History A Legacy A Parody' will recognise a very important character in this chapter.
Disclaimer: Don't own MI2, but I do own the scotsman.
Scene change to a private party in Spain... somewhere (it's private)
Flamenco dancers on a table, tapping their heels and canastas. Pull poles out from under their skirts and begin poledancing. Ethan is intrigued by this and circles the table curiously. Nyah believes he is looking at her. And looks the same way back. However, Ethan is subtley looking up the flamenco dancers' skirts, searching for where they kept the pole.
Nyah disappears up the stairs. Lots of random shots of feet and hands. Nyah puts gloves on, runs across the landing and starts to wish she wore a bra. Opens door and enters the bedroom. She tries to find the bath using a compass.
Nyah breaks into a vault using her anz keycard, lipstick and an soccer ball inflation needle.
Ethan: I see you've found it.
Nyah: What are you doing here?
Ethan: You think you're the only one who can pick their nose?
Nyah: Uh... what has that got to do with anything?
Scotsman walks out of bathroom starkers.
Scotsman: He's got a point their lassy.
Scotsman leaves room.
Nyah: Not just a pretty face after all.
They hear a noise. Nyah pushes Ethan into the bath. Typical shovanistic bastard, has to relate it to sex, but then again, there are several ways they could have hidden without the inuduendos in every sentence.
Ethan: Hey, there's water in the bath.
Nyah: (underwater) No shit sherlock.
Ethan: Oh. Lifts Nyah up out of the water.
Nyah: Do you mind if I'm on top?
Ethan: Either way works for me, it's not gonna make a difference, I'm still a super horny dwarf.
Nyah, in the most sexual way, changes places.
Man leaves room and Nyah wriggles up and sits on Ethan's face.
She uses her inflation needle to pick the lock on the vault.
Ethan: You'll never find it there.
Nyah: Dammit. (drops her inflation needle and it lands in Ethan's eye).
Ethan: Godammit woman!
Nyah: Are you going to tell me where to find it.
Ethan: (voice muffled, from under her skirt) Sorry, my mouth's kinda full at the moment.
Nyah moves back.
Ethan: Far left.
Nyah looks down at Ethan who's facial expression looks as though he's getting head.
Nyah: This is very disconcerting.
Ethan: Hey you put me here, I just do as I'm told. Am I a naughty boy, will you spank me, will you whip me?
Nyah: Right.
She elbows him in the family jewels.
Ethan rolls around clutching his groin and writhing in pain and looking for sympathy, but receiving none.
Nyah: Shovanistic bastard.
Nyah picks lock, grabs necklace and puts it down her top.
Ethan: That is so hot.
Nyah: Now who are you, and what it gonna cost me?
Ethan: I wouldn't do that?
Nyah: What?
Ethan: Ask me what you can give me for my silence.
Nyah: Horny dwarf.
Ethan goes pale and tries surpressing his anger. Alarm goes off.
Lots of people rush into the room.
Man: It is Mr Hunt, apologise!
Ethan: No there's no need.
Man: I meant you need to apologise.
Ethan: Oh, sorry. As I was saying, my associate Miss Hall has your necklace in a very (looks at Nyah's chest and remembers what he was saying) safe place. But we feel that the alarms should have gone off sooner. Isn't that right Miss Hall?
Nyah: Oh yes, much much too long I'd say (looks at Ethan's crotch).
Ethan: Under the circumstances I'd say we should resetting the sensors to respond to a lighter load. How do you feel about 40 kilos Miss Hall?
Nyah: Are you trying to say I'm fat! (suddenly angry)
Ethan: Uh... no. (thinks, but now that you mention it).
Nyah: Oh, 40 kilos is perfect.
Ethan: Shall we (his pants fall down).
Ethan scuttles off to the bathroom.
Emerges a little later, blushing.
Ethan clears throat and Nyah takes his hand.
Ethan: Haven't you forgotten something.
Nyah looks puzzled.
Ethan: The necklace.
She pulls is out of her top.
Man: What are you trying to do? Rob me?
Nyah: The thought had crossed my mind.
Scene change to outside
Nyah: ok I'm missing something, aside from (girly giggle) a brain.
Ethan: At least you can walk. Damn, you sitting on me in the bath has really taken it's toll.
Nyah: (rolls eyes) I knew it! You do think I'm fat! If you weren't going to let me get away with it why'd you let me go through with it?
Ethan: I'm a guy, who says no to a pussy on their face?
Nyah rolls eyes again.
Valet drives up with her car.
Nyah: You couldn't possibly want me after tonight's performance.
Ethan: You didn't do too badly. (licks lips) Tasty.
Nyah: Apologising for me, quite the gentleman.
Ethan: Not really, I triggered the alarm. Sorry.
Nyah: I don't do laundry, cook, or put up with cheeky bastards who set me up on their territory so they can poach on mine.
She does a burnout.
Ethan: (yells after her) And no one calls me a dwarf and gets away with it!