Chapter Ten

by Saber Girl Leia

So, have you all seen the Episode III trailer? stares at screen Coolness!

Important author's note! I have a bunch of schoolwork due by end-of-quarter, I'm helping to organize the school Shakespeare festival, and I'm going away for spring break. So this may well be the last update until sometime in the second week of April. I am very, very sorry about that. :( But please don't give up on me, I promise I will keep writing, pencil and paper (well, pen in my case usually, but you get the idea...) even on the plane to Florida, most likely... I'm going to miss you guys!

Hey! We're in the double-digit chapter numbers! I feel so special! lol

For full disclaimer see previous chapters. In this chapter specifically, many thanks to Timothy Zahn for the semi-quote. (His version was "However she could. Whatever the cost." Vision of the Future.)

SailorLeia: YAY! You like even this chapter! I personally thought it wasn't as good as some of the others, so it's great to hear that it wasn't all that horrid... Of course I advertised your fics! They rock! You're welcome!

Ariapaige: You are such an awesome reviewer! D

I don't know about blind... so much as maybe insecure? Well, yeah, blind. Someone coughLukecough will just have to help her with that... heehee

Well, the hope is that the neighbor will get more interesting...

Ellie! Yay! Love Ellie:)

Ooooo, advice. The chapter was rushed. You most definitely have a point there. Unfortunately, I think it's basically because I know where I'm going but I don't quite know how to get there... maybe I'll try an outline or something.

Heehee. Yeah, I'm finally discovering that I can actually write small bits of humor GASP

Oooooooooo, movie! Fun! Always the best way to, er, get your brain in the correct state of mind to do work... or something like that ;). Did you see the EpIII trailer? Happy Leia Marie! (you're right. I think I'll start calling myself that lol)

Mara look-a-like: Thanks for the review; I'm very glad you like it. You're welcome.

Saber Girl Amidaala: Okay, okay, this chapter was kinda boring. BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE OUT 'SEEMINGLY UNCURABLE SICKNESSES' JUST TO EASE YOUR BOREDOM! P (BTW, it's incurable!)

Maybe I'll give you one... JK

Oh, another author's note: I skipped some time again before this chapter. Any comments about your feelings on how that works out are, as always, appreciated.

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About a week later

Together, Mara, Luke, Ellie, and Artoo were falling into the rhythms of a family. Both Luke and Mara secretly hoped that it would never end. They had not had much contact with their new neighbor, which Luke regretted, but Mara did not mind. Ellie was learning to crawl very quickly, and gave her father and 'Aunt Mara' no end of joy.

Luke and Mara still had not talked to each other about their feelings for one another, but neither did they hide them. Their hugs and kisses were not frequent, but that only served to make the few they had all the more special.

One night, Mara agreed to put Ellie to bed. The plan was that she and Luke would stay up a bit later together, to just talk or play cards or something. She left him on the couch with a swift hug, promising to be back soon.

Once she had helped Ellie into her pajamas and into bed, Mara turned out the lights and sat down next to the girl. Ellie made a high-pitched humming noise.

"Yes, I will," Mara murmured. She gave a furtive glance around the room, feeling somewhat foolish as she did so. But it would be very embarrassing if Luke heard.

Satisfied that there was no one watching, Mara bent over Ellie and began to sing softly. She knew very few full songs appropriate for a lullaby. So she improvised, setting various snatches of tunes together. It probably sounded horrible, but Mara didn't care so long as Ellie liked it.

It was not something she had ever had a chance to do before she had begun helping with this child.

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He was sitting on the gray-green sofa, and Ella was curled in his lap with her head on his shoulder. She was asleep.

Luke ran his hands through her short, pale hair. She was his baby. His baby...

Callista's baby. Not truly his at all.

But he would care for her. Ella was his joy, and his burden. And the only child he would ever have. He loved her.

Luke was startled from his reverie when Ella began to stir. He thought she was waking, but the girl did not make any noise, nor open her eyes. Then her hair began to grow and change color. Her limbs seemed to retract a little. Luke did not know what to do.

He clutched at his daughter's arms and hair. But her Force signature began to change as well. There was nothing Luke could do. He was losing his daughter just as he had lost her mother.

Luke rocked back and forth and wept. Until he suddenly became aware that the woman in his arms was still. The hair that fanned out about his shoulder, which he pillowed his head upon, was no longer Ella's blonde locks. It was a brilliant red-gold, and though it's beauty was somewhat hidden in the dim lighting, it was clear who was now resting against his shoulder. Mara Jade. Her Force signature confirmed it.

Why? Was this some twisted vision, then? To what purpose? Callista, perhaps, come to haunt him; warn him that he was spending too much time away from Ella, with Mara Jade? That if he did, he would lose his daughter forever, and she would leave to join her true parents in the next life? Leaving him with the loyal, but prickly trader, who, judging from the past, might leave at any moment.

Or was this some subtler warning? That Ella was becoming like Mara? If that meant like the Mara of today, it was fine. But Mara's childhood had been the worst possible. Was he, in working too much with the Force, endangering his foster daughter?

Whatever it was, Luke was sure that the dream was some sort of warning. The lighting was dim... darkness. Too much of his life, and the lives of those around him, had been swallowed in darkness. Callista had been swallowed in darkness.

He would protect Ella. However he could. Whatever the cost to himself.

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Mara returned from putting Ella in bed to find Luke dozing, still sitting up, on the sofa. She thought about letting him rest but discarded the idea as he began to groggily awake.

"Hey Luke," she called, shaking him affectionately, "You fell asleep waiting for me?"

He yawned and blinked for a moment. Then "Mara?" The man sounded almost afraid.

"Yes, it's me. I put Ellie to bed. I was thinking maybe you and I could watch some movies on the Holo or something."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. That's a good idea." Mara frowned. Luke seemed very distant all of the sudden. "Um, why don't you find a good one while I go say goodnight to Ellie." He left the room, without so much as running his fingers through her hair.

Mara watched him go, perplexed. He had already said goodnight to Ellie, not twenty minutes ago. And he hadn't seemed tired. She settled on the coach and began to look for a good movie. She hugged a pillow tightly to her chest.

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Luke sat with Ellie for a long time, even though she was sleeping deeply. He stroked her hair and cheeks. Her hair had grown so much, he noticed idly. It had been clipped short when he had first seen her, as herself.

She looked peaceful; lying there as she was. The girl's chest rose and fell gently with each breath she took. A slight smile touched her lips, and Luke hoped it signified pleasant dreams.

Everything was going so well. Mara fit into their lives like the final piece of a puzzle. With her, the little family formed a complete picture. Without her, they just could not make sense of anything.

Surely she was nothing but good for Ellie! The poor girl needed a mother, and if Callista could not be there for her, having Mara to help was a great blessing.

She had to be good for Ellie. She simply had to be. Because Luke would do nothing to hurt or endanger his daughter, but he could not send Mara away. He did not know how he would live without her.

But that was precisely the problem, wasn't it. He couldn't live without Mara. If he felt it just as a friend, then that would be all right, but he felt so much more for her...

Luke did not want to admit his true feelings for the redhead, even to himself. Perhaps especially to himself. Anyone else would tell him to move on; Callista was dead, Mara was there for him now. He did not truly know exactly what she felt for him, but the woman had initiated their first kiss, and had not rejected the few subsequent kisses, so she must feel more than one did for the average friend.

But he had promised Callista that he would love her forever. Now... he could not betray that promise. Perhaps in many years it would be all right for him to love again, but not yet, no...

Love. Luke's breath caught in his throat. So that was what he felt for Mara then? Of course it was, and he knew it. They had both been dancing around the issue for so long, but he had to admit it to himself eventually.

And to her.

Kissing his daughter on the cheek, Luke stood and headed back to Mara, gathering what courage he could as he went.

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Mara was disturbed when she suddenly realized that thin tracks of tears were trailing down her face. It was completely irrational, she knew. There was simply nothing worth crying over in this situation. Especially for her. Mara Jade didn't cry.

But... Luke had said he was going to spend the rest of the evening with her. Why had he changed his mind so suddenly? His daughter did have first dibs on him, Mara knew, and she did not begrudge the girl that, but it still hurt.

She was scrubbing at her face when she heard Luke's footsteps approaching from down the hall. She darted to the 'fresher. He couldn't see her like this!

"Mara?" he called as she slammed the door.

"Yes?"

"You all right?"

"Yes, I'll just be a moment."

""All right." Luke sounded a little worried as he sat down on the couch, unconsciously resting on the pillow that Mara had been hugging a moment before. This gave him more time to think, and that was not good. He would lose his nerve, he knew it.

And, just as he had predicted, a thousand new doubts rose in his mind.

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Mara, meanwhile, washed her face and took several deep breaths. He had come back. This was good. So why was she trembling?

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Luke's head hurt, and his heart hurt too. What would Mara think, he thought, if I told her I love her right after she puts another woman's baby to bed for me and then I go to see the girl, completely ignoring Mara? But what about that stupid, Sith-cursed vision? It's holding us back! And yet I dare not ignore it. Jedi never see things for no reason.

After a few moments, Mara came out of the 'fresher and joined Luke on the sofa. Several of her mental barriers were shut tight, to keep her crazed feelings from broadcasting to him. Luke noticed this and so did not speak.

Without talking much, they chose a comedy on the Holo to watch together. At one point Luke put his arm around her, and Mara did not move away. But neither spoke of their feelings.

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Okay, I know that probably wasn't one of my best chapters. But it would be great if you would review anyway... Whether you like or dislike it, anything you have to say is much appreciated. Constructive criticism welcome!