A/N: Words in bold are lines from the episode script. Words in bold and italic indicate McKay if the scene is from Cadman's POV and Cadman if the scene is from McKay's POV. Everyone got that? Good. :-)
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Rodney
I slowly became aware of my surroundings again, but I couldn't move at all. From the sound of things, I had landed myself back in the infirmary. Damn! Don't get me wrong; I think Carson's a good doctor despite all the crap I give him, but I really do hate being stuck here. It gives me the creeps, although I'd never admit that to anyone.
What the hell was wrong with me, anyway? I couldn't even open my eyes, never mind move. Oh my God! Was I paralyzed for life? I didn't think this was the effect of a Wraith stunner, since I didn't remember being stunned. Actually, come to think of it, I didn't remember very much else, either. This was very very bad.
All of a sudden I could hear Carson's voice coming from my left side. Who was he talking to? "All of his vitals are stable. His body's reacting like it's been struck by a Wraith stunner." That doesn't sound good. I'm a dead man.
A female voice responded. Elizabeth! "So you think once the initial shock is over, we'll have the old McKay back?" Well, I for one hope we do!
"I'm afraid so." Oh, I am SO going to get you for that one, Carson. I will make your life miserable, you bagpipe-blowing idiot! "Have they had any luck with the wreckage?"
Come on, Elizabeth. Stand up for me! "No. Lieutenant Cadman is still in there somewhere. Did you know her well?" So much for standing up for me…. Wait a minute. Did she say Cadman's stuck? Now I absolutely have to get up. They'll never get her back in time if they leave this to Radek or Kavanaugh.
"No, not really. She was with the new batch that came aboard the Daedalus. She seemed quite lovely, though. She saved my life." You can stop flirting with Cadman now. She's not even here. If I could have rolled my eyes, I would have.
"Well, you'll be the first person I call when we find her."
Against my will, I found myself fading out again. No, no, no! I needed to wake up, not fall more deeply into whatever state I was in. But no one listens to me, least of all my own body.
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Laura
The first thing I became aware of was that I felt subtly wrong in some way. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but my body felt somehow different. I couldn't open my eyes or move, but I thought that I was in Atlantis' infirmary. Snap out of it, soldier! What the hell happened? I remembered being swept up by a transport beam with McKay. How had we been rescued from that? By every right, we should be dead or on a Wraith hive ship by now. Wow. This was a story I definitely wanted to hear. Maybe Colonel Sheppard would come by soon and fill me in.
"All of his vitals are stable. His body's reacting like it's been struck by a Wraith stunner." That was definitely Dr. Beckett. Was he talking about McKay? If so, maybe the same thing had happened to me. It sure would explain the paralysis thing. Good! Maybe that meant that I would be fully waking up soon.
"So you think once the initial shock is over, we'll have the old McKay back?"
"I'm afraid so." Good one, doc! But enough with McKay. It's my turn to be fussed over now. "Have they had any luck with the wreckage?"
"No. Lieutenant Cadman is still in there somewhere. Did you know her well?" That was Dr. Weir. But what was she talking about? I'm right here. Does she not see me or something?
"No, not really. She was with the new batch that came aboard the Daedalus. She seemed quite lovely, though. She saved my life." You think I'm lovely? Cool! But let's get back to the real issue. Why does everyone think I'm not here?
"Well, you'll be the first person I call when we find her." Okay. I am now officially freaked out. Wait a minute. Something just occurred to me. Am I dead? It would really suck to be dead. Is that why they can't see me? Where's Bruce Willis when you need him?
Uh-oh. I'm starting to fade out. If I'm dead, does this mean I'm headed to my final destination? I think I've been good. I've mostly been good. Well, maybe a little bit bad...
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Rodney
I think I'm awake for real this time. Why do I say that? Because I feel like crap. My body aches in places I didn't even know were there and my brain feels as sluggish as an IBM PC AT. I think they came out in 1984. Ohhhh, this is really not good.
At least I can open my eyes, though. Yup, I'm definitely in the infirmary again. "Hello?" Any minute now the Master and Commander of this realm will come along to shine an annoying light in my eyes.
And speaking of the devil... "How're you feeling, Rodney?"
Just peachy. "Um, terrible. What happened?"
"You were scooped up by a Dart," Carson said. What! Has he been sampling his whiskey stash? This doesn't look like the inside of a hive ship to me, and I somehow doubt that the Wraith would be so concerned for my wellbeing.
"Oh, great! How'd I get out?" Hopefully that didn't sound too incredulous -- you know what? On second thought, I don't care how it sounded.
"It's a long story, but I'm glad to see you're doing well." Oh, good. I'm glad you're glad. Now, do you mind telling me what you're doing to make sure there aren't any long term effects? I'd like to stay well, if you know what I mean.
"Hello? Doctor Beckett." That sounded like Cadman. Didn't I hear someone say she was trapped in wreckage?
"Is that Cadman?"
"Doctor McKay!"
Where the hell is she? She's not in the bed next to me. Hmm... she's not anywhere else in the infirmary, either. "Where is she?"
"I'm right here."
"Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart." Okaaaay. Then why do I hear her voice loud and clear?
"What!"
Wait a minute. I don't know where she is, but she at least should have some idea. Maybe that's not her after all? "Who said that?"
"I did," said Carson, giving me the strangest of looks.
"You said 'what!'?"
"I said Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart." There was a mixture of annoyance and concern on his face.
"No, no, no, did you just say the word, 'What?'?" He's being unusually dense today.
"No, I didn't."
"McKay!" Now I'm sure. That's definitely Cadman's voice. It insulted me too much back on the planet for me not to recognize it.
"Yes, where are you?"
Carson seems to be getting more and more agitated. "I'm right here." He's starting to look like he wants to call Heightmeyer. I'm not sure why. I'm just trying to have a conversation with Lieutenant Cadman, whom I can't locate at the moment.
"No, no, I'm talking to Cadman -- shut up for a second."
"She's not here, Rodney." He's slowly moving his hand toward his lab coat pocket. Is he going for a needle? I'm not crazy!
"Yes I am!"
"You didn't just hear that -- you didn't just hear Lieutenant Cadman?"
"No, I didn't."
Of course! For a genius, I can be an idiot sometimes. "Headset!" I put my hands to my ears and felt around. Maybe not. "I'm not wearing a headset."
"McKay, where are you?" Great. Now she's sounding pissed off. I didn't do anything! She's the one who's talking out of thin air.
"I'm right in front of Carson." I don't even want to know where Cadman might think I am.
"Oh no. Uh, put your hands over your eyes."
What's she up to now? "Why?"
"Just do it!"
Carson's voice was suddenly gentle. "Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart. I think maybe you're experiencing some sort of ... Rodney, what are you doing?"
"Oh, this is terrible."
I'll say. Something horribly, horribly wrong is happening here. "What's terrible?"
"I can see that! I can see your hands over your eyes as if they were my eyes."
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is not physically possible. Only in some stupid Star Trek episode could this ever happen. I looked at Carson. "Who got us out of the dart?"
"Zelenka -- but he only got you out. Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart."
I wanted to scream. From the sound of it, so did Cadman. Maybe blowing something up would make us feel better. (Well, it would make ME feel better, anyway.) But I couldn't just keep Carson in suspense. "Cadman's not trapped in the dart... She's in here." I tapped my head in disgust.
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Laura
I'm going to be sick. I'm awake again, but I really wish I wasn't. My head is pounding, I feel like I'm going to throw up, and my vision is really fuzzy. In short, it feels like one of the worst hangovers I've ever had.
I don't remember getting drunk, though. I don't remember anything... wait a minute. Now it's coming back. I was swept up into the dart with McKay, and I vaguely remember waking up once before. Something happened... oh, yeah. I thought I might be dead.
Dead! Aside for the fact that it would put a serious crimp in my style, I don't think it's possible for me to be dead and feel this lousy. Obviously, then, there's another explanation. Why do I think I won't like it any better?
Oh, good. There's a familiar voice. "Hello? Doctor Beckett?" Huh. That's a little weird. I can hear myself speaking, but it doesn't sound exactly like me. It's almost as if my words are echoing off something.
"Is that Cadman?"
Thank God. I recognize that voice, too. "Doctor McKay!" Again with the weird echo-effect.
"Where is she?"
Well, duh. If I'm hearing both you and Beckett, we're probably in the infirmary. "I'm right here." I am here, but you are not there. Or is that just the hangover?
"Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart." That was Beckett.
"What!" Hey doc, you got a secret stash of scotch whiskey that you've been sampling? Because I'm in the infirmary with you. I can hear you and McKay talking about me. (And boy, do I wish you were saying something else!) It's impossible that I'm still trapped in the dart.
"Who said that?"
"I did." Dr. Beckett's beginning to realize there's more of a problem here than he thought. He and McKay went back and forth for a few minutes with a kind of "who's on first" routine. I tuned them out for a few minutes until I heard McKay say something about headsets.
"I'm not wearing a headset." As he said that, my vision began to return. I was right; I am in the infirmary. I can't seem to control my eyes, though. I'm trying to look in different directions, but I can only stare straight ahead. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a somewhat hairy-looking arm, and in front of me is Dr. Beckett. So where's McKay?
"McKay, where are you?"
"I'm right in front of Carson." That can't be right. I'm in front of Carson. He's a physicist; he should know that two bodies can't simultaneously occupy the same space… oh, shit.
"Oh, no. Uh, put your hands over your eyes." Just as I thought. My vision is suddenly blocked again.
Dr. Beckett has obviously concluded that McKay's nuts. He is, but not in the way that the doc thinks. "Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the Dart. I think maybe you're experiencing some sort of ... Rodney, what are you doing?"
"Oh, this is terrible… I can see that! I can see your hands over your eyes as if they were my eyes!" I'm inhabiting his body. It's the only conclusion I can come up with. Oh, yuck! Out of all the people in Atlantis, why does it have to be McKay?
Hey, doc? Can I have some of that secret whiskey stash, too?
I realize that I've tuned McKay out again. Gotta start listening, unfortunately. For a genius, he can be an idiot sometimes. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
Ha! No argument from me.
He sounded resigned now as he told Beckett, "Cadman's not trapped in the Dart…. she's in here." He rapped his head.
Ouch! Hey, that hurt!
TBC
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A/N: What do you think? Is the formatting too confusing? I can try to come up with something else if it is.