Short A/N here (I'm getting tired of typing a whole bunch of these things in a row). If you think this should be a crossover, I'm sorry, but I disagree. It is set entirely in AC, and the allusions aren't necessary to the story, and the characters are only namesakes. There is my inevitable rebuttal.

Oh, and I don't own AC. Duh. Nor do I own ASoUE. So get over it.

From the Commonplace book of Lemony, aka L.

30 December 2005

1645 hours

Last lunar cycle of the year

All's quiet on the home front tonight. From my window tonight, not a soul stirs as the sun sets...

But I know better. I know that somewhere, high above or down below, everywhere and nowhere, the Man is here. But I'm ready for him. I'm waiting.

My wireless transceiver sits beside me on the floor. If I feel the need, I can duck down from my window and hide from him. It should tell me if there is any suspicious activity around town. It's tuned to detect supernatural disturbances, as well as farts. Why, I don't know, but it just does.

Goose gave it to me. That darn goose is handy with technology and electronic stuff, and he agrees with my theories about the Man. He has seen some of the strange stuff that goes on in this town, too. He heard about the vanishing of Patty on 21 August 2003 in broad daylight. Even though he doesn't remember a cow by the name of Patty ever living here, he does remember her vanishing. Which is odd, of course, but leave it to the Man to create strange disturbances.

The transceiver is still showing no activity. Blast. I was hoping to go on the hunt for the man tonight. I even have my Very Fancy Dish ready to wear, in order to send the Man's mind-control rays back at him. I know it's the only way I've stayed sane in this town. Everyone else around here scoffs at me, but I know the truth. I know...about the Man.

I think he knows that I know about him, too. I think he knows that I know that he knows that I know. And I think he's okay with that, however strange that sounds. I don't know why. It's all a part of his master scheme, as scheme that blows everything B can conjure up out of the proverbial water.

Speaking of the water, why does it always flow down towards the ocean? Why doesn't it flow upward, towards the central lake around which all towns in our world are built. Very disturbing...

Wait. The transceiver is detecting strange activity around Goose's house. Oh no, this is very bad. The last time it was going haywire like this was...last week, when Goose let a big one beside Lobo's house and Lobo nearly strangled him. I should go and tell Booker. Officer Copper won't care, but Booker will. He always agrees with me, no matter what I say...I think his strange behavior can be explained, too. I think his brain has been addled by too many of the Man's mind wipes. Of course, he agrees with me, so it must be true, and he can remember some of that.

In case you find this, and wonder why I'm writing all this stuff about the Man and not being scared to death of disappearing in the middle of the night, it's okay. I have coated my roof, my walls, my windows, and the entire inside and outside of my house with industrial-strength tin foil. Goose insists that it will keep out cosmic entities. Booker agrees. Just in case the Man does get inside my house, though, I have a hat of the same material, so he can't get into my mind. That could be disastrous; without me, the world may never know what I know about the Man. And that could be the world's undoing.

I guess it's true, then, that everyone destined to save the world is alone. Look at Tom Nook. Though he has his nephews, they're always chatting amongst themselves. The poor guy is all alone. At least he has his mission to save the world by making sure it's prepared for every possible impending disaster. It is an admirable goal, and I admire him for working to achieve it...whether he'll admit it or not. (I think somewhere, in his subconsciousness, a part of him is secretly rebelling against the Man's mind control, and Nookington's is the fruit of that secret labor...)

Ah! The transceiver is going berserk again! It looks like I must venture out into the unknown yet again. Wish me luck, and if I don't survive–keep this information secret. The Man can't know that I know that he knows that I know.