Dear Diary (1st of September)

Hullo again! It's now night, I can hear Sirius snoring, which is highly aggravating. And Peter's constant snorting and sleep talking isn't helping either! He must be having a vaguely strange dream, maybe of Voldermort, he's saying over and over again, "don't hurt me! Please don't!" But I'm use to this; it feels great being back with my friends. I missed their jokes, their amusing nature but most of all I missed having humane company that no other person would ever give me. These guys are my friends; I hope we stay like that till we're old and grey with Grandchildren.

If I take a side look I can see the moonlight hitting on the silky water. I can almost picture the Squid, dancing with a couple of foreign animals. The moon is almost at it's full and in a few nights I will once again turn into my feral exterior. But then, I don't hate becoming a werewolf as much as I previously did. My three animangus friends will always be there for help. And they love it! They enjoy the feeling of roaming around with me immensely! Thank Merlin for my miraculous friends.

Well, there goes Sirius again, he's snoring louder now, though I can hear them being muffled. I think James is trying to kill him, I wish I could help but I don't want to intrude. My scribbling on the paper is soundless; I have mastered the art of writing without disturbance. They probably think I am asleep now.

"Sirius, wake up!" Comes James' hushed voice. With my wolfish senses I can hear the ceasing of snores and the rustling of Sirius' bed sheets.

"What?" Sirius says. His voice seeps with much annoyance, if I could see them both then I'd expect to see a grinning James and a deadly looking Padfoot.

"Full moon in two night," Ah! How did I know that James would most probably want to plan the next full moon adventure! He cannot help himself! His bravery, controlling nature always seems to shine through. Also his smirking face will always twinkle with a hint of nuisance.

"Yeah, hey, what do you think is with Moony? He was very quiet on the train!" Well, this conversation is turning on the interesting side! Truly, I have always wondered what people natter about me when I am not listening.

"Yeah, he was awfully quiet." James stated, though I wonder if they are truly thinking. I am usually quiet- period.

"She was looking at that girl, what's her name?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, "do you think he has a crush on her?"

The conversation is too terrible to continue writing. Plus extremely embarrassing. I do not like Katelyn in any way other than curiosity. She is quiet, and seems distressed and I know how it feels to be distressed constantly. I hate it; my moods are as solid as air particles. I hate werewolf genes, and my father doesn't exactly enjoy having a werewolf in the family. Why, if it weren't for my mum, he'd have disowned me by now.

Wait, I can hear something. It's a shrill piercing scream; I can hear it multiplied by my heightened senses. I doubt that Sirius and James heard it, they are still talking, now about pranks. Be back in a bit, diary, I have got to find out who screamed. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but the werewolf fed off it...

... Ok, I'm back. It was Katelyn (pronounce Kate-eh-Lyn if I ever forget), apparently she was screaming simular things to what Wormtail was muttering. "Don't hurt me!" and "Please, leave me alone!" Also "I hate you!" was thrown around. After that she screamed.

Her body was covered in cold sweat when I arrived, Lily and another nameless girl were standing over her, not exactly sure of what action they could do. I managed to get up the stairs using a trick James learnt about (Marauder's Map, always has been my savoir). So that left me, Remus, dealing with one nasty looking girl. She had no make up on, her face displayed some dissolving bruises... it sucked, I felt so bad for her. My stomach turned, my lips quivered, I could feel my saliva drying within my throat. I had learnt about some health stuff when I was at home. I knew that poor Katelyn could be suffering from some kind of attack and waking her could be deadly.

So I cautiously placed my hand on her sweating shoulder (a Singlet and shorts was her attire) and she looked up at me with fatigued and sad eyes. Ok, I then acted like a chicken not a wolf. I saw she was ok and left the room, going back to the boy's dorm. I almost laughed at my previous thoughts, she was not sick, just having an extremely vivid nightmare! But laughter deserted me and it still does, I worry about her, I worry about everyone.

Oh, and I have some homework due tomorrow better do it now before

Z z Z z Z Z z Z z Z z Z Z z Z z Z z Z Z z Z z Z z Z Z z

(the previous statement is written the morning AFTER the entry was made)

Ok, so I fell asleep, my homework is still not done, I am panicking, I have a potions assignment due after lunch and I haven't yet completed it. Right now I am eating my breakfast and sipping pumpkin juice with a look of nerves plastered on my face. I decided to skip lunch all together and just concentrate on my work.

"Hey Moony, where did you go last night?" Sirius asked, raising one of his black eyebrows whilst rudely displaying a mountain of toast rolling around his mouth.

"I just went down stairs to check something." My excuse works, he's so naïve. He shrugs and starts talking to Prongs They laugh and then I see James' vision look over to Lily who's walking over towards me...

"Hey Remus, can I speak to you, in private, for a minute?" Lily says, I feel saddened by her weary vision. Out the corner of my grey eyes I can see James' face, glaring at me. Behind the mass of anger and jealousy I can see wonder. He wonders why I can talk to Lily as friends every day. He wonders why she hates him.

I say a yes.

A few minutes later I am back at the table with James asking me questions about what we said. In brief, I just lied. Lied through my tongue. He believed me. I feel guilty, I feel sick. Here is why...

Lily and I walked out of the hall and at the front of the school. It was a nice day, the breeze tingled across my face and her vibrant red hair flew in the gentle wind. I smiled at the sight; the sun was framing around her slim figure, her features were brilliant with the added touch of an angel.

"Thanks for what you did last night, I don't know what's wrong with Kate."

I nodded in reply, "probably just a bad dream." I said, my soft and airy voice light with her figure overpowering me. I felt weak, but James likes her, and deep down I know she likes James.

Lily sighed, she walked over towards the steps and sits down on one, "she's very grateful, blushing a lot at the mention of your name."

Why would she blush at my name? Hopefully future entries may quench my puzzlement. Is it because she's embarrassed?

"I think she likes you," Lily continued, I sat down besides her and watched her emerald eyes look out at the settling sight. "But Remus... I like you." She says, looking at me.

This is when I panicked. She can't like me! I can't like her! I gulped at the time, thinking my ears were playing tricks on me.

"I know I shouldn't like who my friend likes, but I can't help it!" Lily smiled weakly, "you're so mysterious, so sweet and a model gentleman."

By this time I knew my ears were perfectly fine and that Lily did have a crush on me. That's all it is, a crush, an infatuation. She'll move on when she realises James is not a conceited git.

"No Lily," I gently held her hand, massaging it in a friendly manner, now I wish I didn't. "You can't like me, and don't say you do. I'm not good enough."

"But Remus," she moans. By now I felt panicky.

"Find someone better for you," I said, letting go of her soft hand. I stood up and walked toward the door. Why did she have to stop me?

Well, Lily stood up, stopped me and kissed me. Her lips grazed against mine for a pure few seconds of bliss. With this newly loved intoxication I placed my hand to her cheek, feeling the hormones in me drive wild.

Then I heard her mutter something, it could've been my guilty conscious or just my mind playing tricks on me but I could perceive the murmur of "James".

That's when I pulled away and walked back into the main hall. My breakfast is finished and my entry is too. I can't write anymore, I'm too confused for any words to form! Goodbye diary, will tell you more later when I know my thoughts.

Remus' quote of the entry: "A werewolf is merely a wizard able to vent his anger in non controlling ways."

From my messed up mind,

Remus J. Lupin.

(RnR and this will not be a R/L fic!)