Chapter 3: CRAZY
Colette completely ignored the weird ninja girl, and continued on her way to the temple. Deep down, she didn't want Raine to have all the fun after all. She remembered a time last year when Genis told her that he and Raine had broken up a secret Meltokian drug ring. Colette of course didn't believe him at the time, but after seeing her beloved teacher don a ninja mask and pull that large gun out of her desk drawer… well, Colette didn't know as much about Raine as she thought she did.
About 5 minutes later, Colette had finally reached the outskirts of the temple. She could see small explosions and she could hear the sound of people screaming. Just then, She saw what appeared to be some lighting push a Desian over the edge of the cliff the temple sat behind.
Now, to most people, seeing one's elementary teacher killing Desians in the most brutal fashion ever conceived by humans, elves, or dwarves alike might unnerve them bit. But not Colette Brunel, student at Iselia elementary. Usually, Lloyd and Zelos's antics caused more overall damage than her clumsiness. As Colette made her way up the steps she saw Raine start to burn the pile of desian corpses.
"Hi professor!" Colette said, not at all fazed by the carnage she was standing amidst.
"Colette, I told you to stay back at school. Anyway it doesn't matter now. I was going to bring you here anyway."
"Why?" Colette asked, her attention now on Mr.Aurion who was now walking up the steps to the temple.
"Professor Sage, I saw the smoke from town so I made it up—Oh. Now I know why I could smell burning fat." Kratos said, his attention now on the hideous mound that was once a pile of deceased desians.
"Yeah. It does smell a bit nasty out here. Why did you want me here professor?" Colette asked, now covering her nose with a Batman Begins novelty handkerchief.
"Well remember that flash of light that seemed to reach the school, even though it came from the other side of the building? Well, that means that the oracle is going to appear and give you a pretty red crystal that might or might not ruin you're life."
There was an awkward silence. Crickets took it upon themselves to congregate and make as much noise as possible. After that, they got into a drum circle and started passing around some joint.
"I guess we should go into the temple and get that crystal then …". Colette had wanted to say more, but after witnessing a group of crickets start to smoke large quantities of marijuana, she had kind of lost the ability to think of anything else that might be appropriate to say at the time.
Colette Kratos and Raine made their way to the top of the temple quite easily. They did have to evade a few monsters, and there were these huge golems that they had to kill, but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for them. They had to do most of the same stuff when they went to the grocery store. That's why everyone in town was in perfect shape.
Colette approached the seal. It looked like a big hot tub to her, and the room probably hadn't been cleaned for a couple thousand years. There was dust everywhere, the place smell like cat shit and there was a small television set sitting in one of the corners that was playing old Gillian's island episodes.
"In order to meet the oracle, you'll need to place your hand on the seal." Raine said, now noticing that Colette was watching the TV.
"Oh! Right!" Colette said, snapping back to reality.
She walked over and firmly put her hand on the pedestal in front of the alter.
As she put her hand on the alter, several neon lights shot from the seal. "Apparently, angels like to go for the biggest entrance they possibly can." Colette thought as she watched the trained elephants do back flips, the fireworks display, and Green Day put on a free concert. After about a half an hour of the most FAN FRIGGIN TASTIC ENTRANCE EVER, Remiel finally decided to show up.
"WHAT UP BITCH?" Remiel said as he floated down from the heavens, and all the other entertainers cleared out of the temple.
"Right… Err… I'm Colette. The new chosen." Colette responded meekly, not expecting Remiel to be such a crazy gangsta.
"Okay bitch. This is how we do it. You get up her andz I be givin' you the crystal. You down?" Remial asked while floating to the ground.
"Could you please stop talking like 50 cent? You're not even trying to acted ghetto." Colette said, a tad bit irritated that the angel that was supposed to be her father was acting like a complete moron in front of her teacher and… that other guy.
"I just wanted to be cool…" Remiel said, now talking in his regular voice.
"Just give her the damn crystal." Kratos said. Colette didn't even know he was awake. She was under the impression he was asleep while standing up. She had seen Lloyd do it before in class.
"Fine, fine." Grumbled. "Take the damn crystal and get out of my sight." He continued thrusting the ruby into Colette's hands. "Now If you'll excuse me, I'm going to use the pay check Lord Yggrasil gave me to go and buy some cheap hookers." In a flash of light Remiel disappeared from in front of them.
"Wow Colette. Your dad sucks." Raine said simply.
Four days dragged on. As it turned out, Lloyd wasn't allowed to harm Forcystus in any way. This meant that Forcystus could do anything he wanted to poor Lloyd. Colette was planning on telling his that she was the new chosen, and was planning on saying goodbye to all her friends but… Well, Forcystus was to busy tormenting them for her to have proper conversations with them. Plus, American Idol was on the night before she had to leave. She didn't want to miss that.
All she could hope for now was that she didn't die at the hands of any desian street gang, or that her Angle transformation quest didn't end with her dying horribly.
END CHAPTER 3. Yes. I am aware that the past 2 chapters have been less funny than the first. However, The next chapter will be centered on Lloyd Genis and Zelos again, so stay tuned. IT BAT TIME, SAME BAT CHANNEL.