Note: The Original Idea for a Gangsta style Remiel was originally conceived by kafeithekeaton. Search "GAH" on uncyclopedia and you'll see what I'm talking about.

CHAPTER 4: REGAL THE CONVICT.

Lloyd bounced a ball against the hard metal ceiling of the desian base. Genis and Zelos sat in the corner playing their individual copies of "Advance wars: Duel strike" that the blue haired captor had given them.

For the sake of advancing the fic, Lloyd was reminiscing on how they had wound up in this shitty predicament to begin with.

After Burning down Lumpy's house, they got kicked out of the village by their dinosaur-ridding mayor. After saying their goodbyes, packing up their stuff, and learning that Colette was the new chosen and had already ditched their sorry asses, they rode Noishe into the Triet Desert where they were taken captive by a weird desian with blue hair.

"I'm gonna drop you like a phat beat!" Zelos said, mimicking one of Jake's god-awful lines. "Awww man!" Cried Genis in dismay. "I can't believe you beat me!"

"Guys… Shouldn't we be like… trying to get out of here?" Lloyd asked weakly.

"You can't." replied a voice from the cell across from them. Lloyd couldn't get a good view of him because the owner of the voice was obscured by shadows that covered his face. "The cell doors may look like metal, but they're backed up by microscopic needles that, upon contact will inject your blood with liquid expheres."

"And… how do you know this?" Lloyd asked the voice.

"Cuz I invented the stuff. Believe me, liquid expheres are more addictive than most illegal drugs. A fiend of mine licked one of the bars once and had to go into rehab for … I dunno, six months? About that time." The voice replied in a naturally casual voice.

"Okay, who the hell are you?" Lloyd asked, a bit annoyed that the guy in the other cell was taking this as if it had happened to him before… then again, maybe it did they were in jail after all.

"The names Regal. I'm the owner of the Lezereno Company in Tethe'alla. I'm like freaking Seto Kiba, only… without the suckiness." Regal replied, his face now completely visible to everyone in the other cell.

"So… err…. What are you in for?" Lloyd asked Regal, trying to make conversation.

"Let's see…" Regal said before taking a deep breath. "I stole 3 cars, set fire to the Triet community building, dodged the draft, got into 3 separate high speed chases, stole the church of Martel's charity money, vandalism, and murder."

"Holy crap! You're a fucking psycho!" Lloyd yelled, outraged that he banned from his hometown because he did the village a favor.

"Oh yeah, I also sold viagra to pre-scholars. But I did all that stuff so that I would wind up in here." Regal finished ignoring that Lloyd was completely outraged with him.

"Why?" Lloyd asked. "So that I'd be around when you guys would show up. Being the president of a large company can get boring. Then, right before I was planning on taking over this video game company called Namco, the president tipped me off that you punks would wind up in here about this time. So, I committed all those crimes so that I could be here today. Check it out! I already dug an escape tunnel!" Regal replied as he lifted a floorboard revealing a large and extremely wide tunnel.

"HOLY FUCKAMUWUGUS! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?" Lloyd yelled. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN HERE?"

"Seven Years. I'm like the freaking count of Monte Cristo. Only better." Regal replied with a large grin on his face.

"Only one problem. Our cells are across from each other. I doubt that the guards are just going to let us walk into your cell." Genis said, now looking up from his DS screen.

"Yeah, Umm… You're not going to believe this, but the doors aren't locked." Regal said. And to prove it, he opened his cell door, walked down the hall, and returned 3 minutes later with some kind of huge yellow gun thing.

"What the hell are you guys still doing in you're cell? I figured by now you guys would be down the hole." Regal said upon seeing Lloyd and co still lying around.

"We were waiting for you. You're the criminal mastermind here." Lloyd said, leading the others into the hole.

Sheena had failed miserably and she knew it. She had fused at Corrine and Bobby for not doing their job right. However, deep down she knew that everything was her fault. I mean, come on. Who in their right minds have two small talking fox rat things with Mohawks operate big people machines? Corrine and Bobby were still pretty much just babies. They acted like babies, needed to be treated like babies, hell; they finally learned how to be potty trained six months ago.

Sheena was sporting a traveling clock that she bought in Iselia, along with some night vision goggles. Sheena sighed. She didn't want to kill Colette. After stalking her for a few days, and seeing how nice Colette had been to Raine and Kratos, she wasn't that intent on killing the poor chosen. However, she was forced to if she wanted Tethe'alla to survive.

Sheena pulled a several large tubes out of her backpack. After screwing them together, she silently attached one of her seals to it. One after the other, Corrine and Bobby both crawled into the tubes. There was a small lid at the back that Sheena fastened shut. She held the tube over the edge of the cliff she was hiding behind. Below in the valley, Colette's group had set up camp and was roasting various foods over an open fire. She pointed and aimed the tube at Colette…

"AGENT REFILL. AGENT REFILL DO YOU COPY?" Raine looked up from her book as the static and barley recognizable voice came from a small walkie-talkie set she had kept concealed in case anything came up.

"WE HAVE RESON TO BELIVE THAT YOU'RE GROUP IS BEING STALKED. TAKE EVASIVE COVER IMEDIATLEY. OVER." The voice said from her walkie. Too Late. There was a Bang from outside and the assault had begun.

One Second ago, Colette was enjoying some fried chicken, and a story Kratos was telling her about how he and a couple of his friends once publicly vandalized the mayor of Hemidal's van, and then got kicked out of the village for it. A second later, Kratos and she were being viciously attacked by a couple of little monsters.

"I'm like Arnold friggin' Schwarzenegger only… not the governor of California!" The black dog thing screamed as attacked kratos with a flurry of claw swipes and the uncanny ability to hover in the air for larger periods of time than most falling bodies.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm like the taco bell dog!" The yellow one replied to his companion as he made several attempts to attack Colette's leg.

Suddenly, Raine came running out of her tent, grabbed the black one off of Kratos's head, and drop punted him over a nearby cliff (The same one Sheena was hiding on).

"Holy Crap! They're too strong! Like in DBZ! FULL REATREAT!" The yellow monster said as right before he grabbed Colette's chicken and ran off with it into the night.

END CHAPTER 4. Oh my god! I don't have anything to say this time!