Chapter 3:

Hags, Foxes, and Bats Oh My!

Me: Hey people! It's Kit-chan here! I decided to-

Hiei: Get off her butt and update.

Me: Shut up! Anyway, special thanks to Dolphingirl32173 and wingsofheart for finally reviewing the way I needed them!

Kurama: Believe me, it wasn't easy to work out all of them…

Me: Oh yeah, not to mention a certain bat demon we all know and love…Anyway, please continue reading this and tell me what you think!

Genkai: -BEEP- you've reached the phone of the Reidoha master, Genkai. Obviously you've reached me at a bad time and I can't answer your call at this moment. Either leave me a message or call again some other time. I'm usually keeping my dimwit student in line, so you can call back at almost anytime. Just don't call to ask or tell me anything stupid. –BEEP-

Youko: -BEEP- Hello, it's the famous Silver Thief, Youko, here! I'm sorry, but I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, then I will be happy to call you back. Perhaps there is something you need me to steal…? Anyway, if you are in need of Shuichi, then I am sorry, but you've reached the wrong number, but I'll be happy to tell him that you've called! (mumbles) unless if you're one of the fangirls who won't leave us alone…or a demon out for revenge…or a bounty hunter after me…or-BEEP-

Kuronue: -BEEP- Hey, it's the one and only resident bat demon from Reikai, Kuronue! Thank Koenma for letting me have an answering machine and actually answer one of these "phones" from here! It's so boring here! Ask me questions! Tell me something new! I wanna know what happened to Youko after all these years! I'll be waiting for your calls! Ja ne! –BEEP-

(For: wingsofheart) (one of my best friends XD)

-BEEP- OMG, Kurama! Wow, totally! Actually, sorry, I'm not your fangirl! But my friend told me to tell you that you look like a girl! Are you and Zelos at all related? The girls love both of you…both of you have red hair…and…look slightly like girls…but that would mean that Lyude is related to you too! What is it with red hair guys being loved by girls? You know, this one time- -BEEP-

-BEEP- Um…Yes, this is Kurama. I have been told many times that I look somewhat like a female, and I have been mistaken for one on many occasions. I am sorry, but it is in my genes and there is nothing to be done about it. But it does give me some relief that you are not a fangirl, as I have way too much already. Lyude? Zelos? Those name sound vaguely familiar…I will have to look into it. As for your last question, I have no idea how a woman's mind works. Perhaps we can talk some other time, as you are not at all like the obsessed girls constantly after me. –BEEP-

(cont.)

-BEEP- this is the RS Surgical Center. (cheesy elevator music comes on) Got any extra eyes lying around? We're here to help, Hiei. At the RS Surgical Center, we specialize in the removal of extra eyes, because having more than two eyes is just scary! A friend of yours, Kuwabara, recommended you to us. It seems you have an eyeball problem. Using our state-of-the-art laser technology, we can easily (and almost painlessly) remove any extra eyes you have attached to you. Please call us back at 1-800-I-HAVE-AN-EXTRA-EYE-AND-NEED-TO-DO-SOMETHING-ABOUT-IT-SO-PLEASE-HELP-ME-BECAUSE-I-FEEL-AND-LOOK-LIKE-A-FREAK. I'll repeat that, that's- -BEEP-

(I AM GONNA KILL YOU SARAH!)

-BEEP- …(growling over the phone) Screw Reikai prison. I am going to slit that baka's throat if it's the last thing I- (wrestling sounds) /SARAH! THIS IS DANIELLE! I AM GONNA KICK YOUR EPHRAIM-LOVING BUTT! HIEI GOT HIS JAGAN TO-/ -shut up, onna! Never call me again, Sarah! If you do, I will find and kill you, mark my words. –BEEP-

(cont.) (again!)

-BEEP- Hahaha! (multiple girlish voices) YOU say it! No YOU say it! Teheheehe! I'll do it…ahem…is your nose running, Kuwabara? Pft…BECAUSE I THINK YOU SEE IT RUNNING AWAY! Hang up, you idiot, Yusuke! SHUT UP, BOTAN! –BEEP-

-BEEP- Um…okay…Urameshi, that was really lame. Did the girl with the eye surgery thingamajig put you up to it/Kuwabara…speaking of that girl…/ Uh, oh hi, Shrimp! Uh, Why do you have your sword out…? Uh… AAAAAAAHHHHHH! –BEEP-

(For Dolphingirl32173)

(Thisis areply to her many requests :D)

-BEEP- Hey, Sarah, this is Kuronue! Kit-chan was kind enough to tell me that you had left many messages when I didn't yet have an answering machine! Well, here I am! You can call anytime and we can talk! Like I said before, It is SOOOOO BORING up here! See you later! –BEEP-

(To Labyrinth) (my best friend X3)

-BEEP- Hey Yusuke! I have a question. How big is your six-pack? And on a scale of 1-10, how's Kurama's butt? Thanks! –BEEP-

-BEEP- My six pack? It's most definitely a ten! I mean, I do have one sexy chest and abs! Ask any girl! Right, Keiko/Oh, get over yourself, Yusuke. Besides she wasn't asking the rating of your abs./ Oh…well, I have to pass the phone over to Botan for this one… (shivers over the phone) …Hey, this is Botan here! Hm…as for your question…(whispers) I wouldrate it an eight. (whispers quieter) Yusuke's is better/What was that, Botan? I thought I heard my name/ Nothing, Yusuke! –BEEP-

Kit: Hey, how did you like this chapter? Was it good? Now you know what I'm looking for!

Hiei: …

Kit: Oh, don't worry, Hiei. I'll get Sarah next time I see her.

Hiei: Hn.

Yusuke: By the way, What are you gonna be for Halloween, Kit?

Kit: (dresses up) Roy Mustang!

Hiei: Oh, you mean that miniskirt-loving fool on that idiotic show you always watch? He's almost as much as a baka as that fool obsessed with his child.

Kit: (sniff) BRIGADEER GENERAL, MAES HUGHES, MAY HE REST IN PEACE!

Yusuke: …okay…

Kuwabara: You can't be Roy, your hair's too long.

Hiei: I can fix that. (slice)

Kit: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MY HAIR!

Yusuke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kit: HIEI, COME WITH ME!

Hiei: Why?

Kit: (evil grin) Since you were so gracious to help me with my costume, I will help you with yours. (drags him into a closet)

Yusuke: …okay…

Kuwabara: Wonder what he's gonna be…?

Hiei: (from the closet) Onna, not pink!

Kit: YES, PINK! YOU MADE FUN OF HUGHES AND CUT MY HAIR!

Hiei: Anything but pink!

Kit: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yus+Kuwa: …

(I'll leave it to your imaginations…hehehe…)