Forgotten Love Chapter 9: Truth and Trust, an inuyasha fanfic

Hey readers! Here's the next chapter. It's gonna get pretty intense, so, get out your tissues.

Ok, so from now on I'm marking flashbacks as: Flashbacko0o End Flashback0o0

And that's about it, so enjoy this chapter. I spent quite a while turning over ideas for it so don't hate me too much if it sucks!

Also, I did another songfic in this chapter. I used the song "Blood" by Papa Roach, I think it fits.

secretshadows- Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I read your review and almost fell over. It stoked me. I was like 'ok time to write the next chapter now' Your so awesome! I'm so thrilled to know that I've become a better writer. Your reviews always make me feel so great, thank you so much! x a buhzillion You get a cyber hug and a cookie!

L1LdumieTK- You rock! Thank you for being one of my most frequent reviewers! You get a cyber hug and cookie! I know your anxious so I have updated!

C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only- I know so fluffy yes!

get your own hanyou- thanks sooooooooo much! I updated! And my imagination is still whirring

(By the way I love your pen name! ;D)

Katie- Hey! Wow thank you! Just to let you on, on a little secret...one of my really good friends (who reminds my WAY too much of InuYasha, he doesn't only act like him, but he LOOKS like him. Creepy) Did that same puppy impersonation when I got mad him the other day. And I thought it was adorable so I put it in lol

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Kagome sat alone, in silence, kneeling in the tall grass as a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions threatened to break loose from her spirit. The whispers of the night surrounded her, but she didn't hear any of them, only one thought shone in her clouded mind. 'He...he kissed me...'

o0o

Kagome stared, wonderingly up at her suddenly silent companion. Her thoughts raced as his strong body leaned against her frail form. His handsome face creased as if he was giving one last thought to what he was about to do. Before Kagome knew what was happening, he brought his hand under her head and brought her face up to his. Gently InuYasha brushed his lips against hers, sending shivers racing across her spine. "InuYasha," She whispered, he caressed her face, softly moving across her rosy lips.

0o0

'He actually kissed me.' She shook as the vivid memory filled her mind. She had felt so, safe, so loved in his arms. His tender kiss felt so natural to her. But, as suddenly as it had happened, he broke away. 'What happened to him during that moment? Why did he run?'

o0o

Suddenly InuYasha felt a jolt as he realized what he was doing. He jumped up and pulled away from her. 'What have I done!' He had crossed a line, he had gone to a place he promised he wouldn't go. He felt so lost, so confused, he knew that he had just done something terrible, but, even so he felt so glad he did. Raging thoughts clouded the hanyou's mind as he prayed for it all to go away. "I'm sorry!" he exhaled and closed his eyes tight, "I... I can't...I gotta go..." InuYasha turned and raced back to the school. 'What have I done!' he repeated. 'What am I going to do?'

0o0

"I'm sorry..."

Kagome felt a rip begin to spread across her heart. 'He pulled away from me like I was some sort of poison.' She felt a tear come to her eye and quickly wiped it away. 'Does he...does he feel anything toward me? I mean why would he kiss me if he didn't...' Tears of confusion and loneliness poured over her cheeks, she couldn't hold them back any longer. 'It's just...he looked so terrified when he pulled away from me, like he had done something awful.'

She slapped herself mentally, 'Oh, what am I doing! It's not like I'm in love with him or anything! Why am I crying!' She furiously tried to wipe away the tears that threatened to leak down her face. 'STOP IT! Why am I being this way...me and InuYasha have never been more then friends.' Kagome sniffed and shivered as the cold night air finally reached her skin. 'What's happening to me, why did I want him to kiss me? Why did I enjoy it?' She stood and prepared to head back to her dorm, 'I'm such a fool, how could I not expect him to react the way he did.' She sighed and walked back the empty school, not wanting to face what tomorrow brought.

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InuYasha finally got to the sanctity of his dorm. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!' He started punching his bed in frustration, luckily he was still in human form or he would have split it clean in half. 'How could I do something like this! Kagome I'm so sorry!' InuYasha's eyes welled up in terror and sadness. 'I thought I could control it. I thought I could keep you safe from me...How could I have gone this far!'

His bed boxing and repeated screams of "DAMN IT!"finally awoke a certain sleeping monk. Miroku sat up and groaned as he rubbed his tired eyes. "InuYasha, uugghhh, what time is it."

InuYasha jumped, startled, he had totally forgoten Miroku was there.

"Miroku I..." He grimaced, commanding himself to calm down. "Nothing, go back to sleep."

Miroku was, for once, confused at InuYasha's actions. He had expected him to at least be in a good mood after spending most of the night with Lady Kagome. "InuYasha what happened?"

"I..." He winced, "I kissed her miroku!"

Miroku only grew more confused, "What? That's it! Why are you upset about that!"

InuYasha finally lost it, "DON"T YOU GET IT MIROKU! A GIRL LIKE HER DOESN'T DESERVE A BASTARD LIKE ME! I CAN'T LEAD HER ON LIKE THIS IF I CAN NEVER BE WITH HER!"

Miroku sighed, finally understanding, "InuYasha...I hate to tell you this but, humans tend to do things out of impulse, and well, currently, your only human."

InuYasha cursed, "It wasn't like this before, it was like everything dissolved around me, like I didn't have any control of my actions. All I saw was her...everything inside me told me to kiss her...I... I don't know, I wanted to." He felt like slapping himself, it felt all too real when he said it out loud, 'I wanted to kiss her...'

Miroku's voice became quiet, "InuYasha, that's exactly how I feel whenever I'm around Sango...you have to know that, if you keep feelings like that locked inside you for so long, something's bound to erupt eventually."

InuYasha was silent, he didn't want to face the truth, his feelings for Kagome would have to remain trapped, it was the only way to keep his heart from breaking again.

"InuYasha if you love her..."

"If I love her... I have to let her go.."

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InuYasha stirred as the morning sun peeked over the horizon. He listlessly opened his eyes, a small flame of hope sparked in his conscious, wishing that last night had only been a dream, but, reality slowly extinguished his last hope for salvation from the memory. He plodded limply over to the small dorm bathroom. InuYasha looked up into his own reflection. His hair and eyes had returned to their normal state, but, different. Dark circles hung under his eyes, and the strong fire that burned inside the golden orbs now became dull, lifeless embers. He had only slept half the night, if you could call his restless thrashing sleep. 'Why is this bothering me so much? I've never felt this way before...I've never felt so alone, so helpless.' Deep inside something told him the answer. 'I always knew I would eventually have to let her go, I knew the dangers of getting too close, of letting myself trust again...I knew, but I never really believed it...I never accepted it, I still had hope... I thought that if I didn't truly believe it, that...maybe...It wouldn't be true, I wouldn't have to say goodbye... Now, it's just all so real.' The realization had finally completely drained his soul. InuYasha now knew the certainty of his destiny. He was a half breed, he would never belong in either world. His destiny was to be alone. He could never have her, not if he truly loved her, not if he cared about her life. The truth was there, cold and hard and unfeeling, it was there. He was alone. He would always be, alone, without her.

The rest of the day InuYasha resolved to avoid Kagome at all costs. He couldn't handle to see her face, to see the false hope she held for him. He strained to concentrate as his classes whirred by, but his heart wasn't there.

InuYasha suddenly snapped out of his stupor to find himself sitting in the middle of his last period class. The day had gone by without him, he had been in a zombified state for more than five hours! He shook himself awake, 'Cmon, you have to get out of this, you have to move on.' He heard and the bell ring but only half acknowledged it. Slowly he got up and trudged through the halls. All at once, his scenes suddenly became alert, he sensed someone...someone coming. Things were about to get much worse.

"InuYasha, you have come to accept your sad fate at last."

InuYasha felt rigid, the cold voice tore through his soul like dull knives. 'Kikyo..'

The dead priestess walked closer to him until their bodies were almost touching.

"Kikyo, get out of here. I can't talk to you right now." InuYasha sounded limp; defeated.

Kikyo sneered, "InuYasha your heart bleeds in more ways than one. Have you not forgotten what pain a kiss can bring, do you not remember the first time I kissed you?"

He stiffened, "Kikyo, whatever love I had for you, perished along with my trust."

"Ah, so you believe it to be that simple. Your eternal love for me was strong enough to drive you to die with me, I wished you to go to the very depths of hell with me; and you agreed. A love like that is difficult to kill."

"Sorrow and Betrayal do a pretty good job," he whispered, his voice like ice.

"InuYasha have you not endured such feelings as betrayal before? Did you not continue to love me, though you believed me to have killed you?"

"Kikyo...why do you think it was so easy for us to be tricked like that anyway? Our love was brittle, Naraku broke the trust we had for each other easily."

"Answer my question InuYasha! You continued to love me. You continued to hope. The shadow of those feelings still remain."

"Kikyo..." InuYasha's voice became quiet, "The moment I met Kagome much stronger feelings were born," He looked up; his voice grew stronger. "She was my shelter, she healed the wounds of my heart. Kagome loved me in a way of which you could never compete! Even when I sold my heart to you! She loved me, she wished to stay by my side!"

"So," Kikyo returned his intense gaze, "My pathetic reincarnation has claimed you at last... Does my love mean nothing to you now? Was it meaningless that I left my life behind to follow you?"

"Kikyo, I have sworn to avenge your death, but my heart is no longer yours."

She nodded, "I see, so you will be with Kagome then. I no longer hold value to you."

"I will be with no one," he stood firm even if his spirit crumpled, "I am a hanyou, despised by both demons and humans, yet, even so, someone loved me for who I was." He took a step and challenged Kikyo, "Kagome never wished for me to become human! She never wanted me to change who I was for her. She loved me as a half-demon. Even when I threatened to take her life with my transformed talons!" He paused, knowing what was coming, "But, even if she accepts the danger! I won't! I won't put her life on the line to selfishly appease my own desires! I will not risk killing everything I care about!"

A thick silence set between the two; neither moved. The shards of a shattered bond left wounds; Wounds that nothing could ever fully heal.

InuYasha finally spoke, "Now, go back to your lover Onigumo, I'm done."

A wicked smile spread across Kikyo's cold lips, "You find it odd, that Naraku's human heart was able to be taken by Genshiki," When he didn't respond, she continued, "Naraku gave Onigumo out of his own will. The human's soul will return to Naraku eventually, but, I gather that he agreed to at last allow such a heart to give in to it's lustful desires. Genshiki promised that he would have me in this world. Her promise was never realized...Though I have allowed Onigumo to claim me, his love is only a pawn." She paused, letting bitterness settle over him, "Like yours was."

InuYasha was numb, her harsh words did nothing to him. Nothing could compare to the pain he already possessed. Everything else felt like dull pricks on his hardened heart.

Suddenly Kikyo could sense another presence with them. Kagome had finally caught up with InuYasha, she silently hid herself behind and old, rusted locker in the abandoned hall. Kikyo acknowledged her presence in the corner of her eye. 'That pathetic wench, the weak imitation that has stolen InuYasha's heart. I will end her interference.'

Slowly, Kikyo drew closer to InuYasha. Before the hanyou realized what was happening, the priestess closed the gap between their bodies and pressed her lips to his own in a cold, lifeless kiss. InuYasha winced as he felt her arms wrap around his neck, he felt paralyzed, suffocated. 'Crap! What is she doing to me.' He couldn't move, try as he might, he couldn't escape her hold.

Kagome watched as tears began to spill over her cheeks. It felt like someone was squeezing her heart, painfully draining the final morsels of happiness and trust. This feeling, it was so terrible, yet, familiar. She had felt this mix of fear, loneliness, and pain more than once, she was sure of it. It was like a reoccurring nightmare. This same scene, this same emotion, haunting her.

I will forgive, but I won't forget

And I hope you know

You've lost my respect

Kikyo parted from him, the last thing she said before releasing the petrified hanyou was, "Her memory is returning, slowly but surely. What will she think of you then, InuYasha, when she finally does remember."

You better watch out!

If you don't know what's going on around you!

InuYasha felt the blood flow return to his body. He suddenly heard her, Kagome, she was here! She had seen it all, 'No!'

You better think twise!

Before you fly off the handle and loose it!

He turned and tried to approach her sobbing form, but Kagome jerked away, "I should have known..." she whispered, "I should have realized, I'm such an idiot!" She faced him, hatred seared from her eyes, "I was never anything to you! I was just another girl for you to lead on and get a kick from!" Kagome's hot tears stung her face, "YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND!"

You gotta rise against

The demons that are gonna try and hold you down!

"No! Kagome it's not like that!" InuYasha bled inside, this was just too much.

She began to shake violently, "What was that last nigh huh? Some wisp of guilt? Some shred of decency? Is that why you wouldn't kiss me!"

"Kagome! Stop it! You have it all wrong!"

"I can't believe I trusted you! You jerk! I thought you had changed! What? You do this a lot! Go show some poor girl your demon form! Make her think she's special! Claim her! Them dump her! YOU REALLY ARE A DEMON!"

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love!

The ones you love

Kagome snarled through rivers of tears, "I told you before, I WON'T become another one of your sluts!"

I'm not a pawn for you to play in your game

I've got dignity!

And I dream that I want to achieve!

"InuYasha! I TRUSTED YOU!"

"Kagome...It's not true I swear!"He pleaded.

Depression!

You were troubled and you let me down

And I'm not deaf!

All I hear are your empty promises!

InuYasha felt his demon blood stir inside him. 'No, no, not now!' Grief suddenly turned to rage. He hated Kikyo! He hated Kagome for not giving him a chance to explain himself. 'How dare she, I stuck up for that wench...' He tried to fight it, but, the voice in his mind only grew stronger until it eventually became his own. "DAMN IT YOU STUPID BITCH! LISTEN TO ME!"

Kagome stopped, she turned and stared deep into InuYasha's eyesThe horrible sadness that hung over her soft brown eyes immediately cooled the fiery demon's heart

"No! Kagome I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

"Kikyo told me a while back, she said that was all you thought of me...that I was just some stupid Bitch." she whispered.

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?

"I really was stupid, I fell for it..."

Her pain echoed in every word. InuYasha's heart broke along with hers. "Kagome..." he whispered.

Kagome shook her head violently, "Good bye InuYasha!" She ran, like he had done hours before. She ran away from it all, from the hurt, from the truth. Kagome made it as far as her dorm, Sango wasn't there. She collapsed onto her bed and allowed herself to wallow in puddles of tears. 'I don't understand. He was so different...I was so sure he had changed. I let myself start to like him. I let myself get so close.'

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love!

The ones you love

"Oh God," Kagome whispered to the heavens, "I never realized..." She tried to shake off the feeling, but it remained none the less, "I can't believe I... I fell in love with him..." She gasped sending more tears flying across her moist cheeks, 'InuYasha, I clung to you so meekly, so blindly trusting. I needed you, I longed every moment to be by your side. How did it all go so wrong! How could you betray me!'

Does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love?

Yes, it runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!

InuYasha collapsed to his knees on the hard floor. The tears came, and for once, he didn't stop them. "Kagome, I didn't mean for this to happen...I would never hurt you!" He could still feel the anger churning inside him, in his blood. "As long as I have the heart of a demon, I'm always hurting you...maybe, it's better this way. Maybe it's easier for you just to hate me."

Yes! It runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!

"Kagome, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I won't ever let you hurt for my sake again!"

I will forgive but I won't forget

And I hope you know you've lost my respect

Yes! It runs in your blood to betray the ones you love!

A/N Well, there ya go! Sad isn't it? I know I'm REALLY being mean now. I watched the episode Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss before I wrote this and decided to mirror the chapter from it. If you liked it or hated it please speak up! Review! Thank you to all who have so far. Especially L1LdumieTK and secretshadows You guys have reviewed almost every chapter! Thank you! Keep it up! On another note, I realize I may have messed up some of the words in Blood Sorry! My internet hasn't been working so I had to listen to the song and write as it was playing. 'Harder than it sounds' And I did purposely skip one part that I felt didn't work in the story. So, yea, sorry for any problems.