"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." – George Carlin
The Shinobi's Guide to Camping
By Kaori
"Camping! Camping! Camping!" Lee sang as he strolled through the streets dragging two duffle bags and Hyuuga Neji behind him. Yes, that's right, Rock Lee was dragging the Hyuuga Neji who simply fumed and glared at the world in general.
As undignified as this seems, in Neji's mind, being dragged to a camping trip was for more dignified than going willingly; especially when you didn't want to.
Both were on the way to TenTen's house so they could walk or, in Neji's case, be dragged to the meeting place.
Surprisingly, TenTen was waiting for them outside of her house. When Neji shot her an "et tu Brute" glare she merely gave an "it's not like I have anything better to do" shrug. Lee was oblivious to all of this and continued to drag Neji along with TenTen by his side.
Team 8 spent the better part of the morning convincing Hiashi that Hinata would be perfectly safe going camping, that Neji was not going to murder her in her tent, or be abducted by brigands who would rape her and hold her for ransom. Actually, Kurenai did all that. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata were just amazed that the head of the Hyuuga family could be so paranoid.
Asuma and Chouji (under Asuma's orders) literally had to drag Ino out of her house kicking and screaming. Shikamaru just watched with an amused expression on his face. He had gone through a similar ordeal with his mother earlier minus the carrying on. There was a liberal use of shadow jutsus though…
Team 7 was by far the most difficult of the bunch. Kakashi was always harping on and on to them about teamwork and then they pick the worst times (for him anyway) to apply the lesson. The trio decided they weren't going camping without a fight and conspired to gang up on their sensei and force him to recant. It probably would've worked too if Tsunade (who was using Sarutobi's old crystal ball to watch) decided to send an ANBU in to break it up.
The real horror show began once the teams encountered Gai.
"What the hell are you wearing!" Kurenai demanded as she and everyone else (sans Lee who was in complete awe and Kakashi who instantly whipped out Icha Icha Violence to shield his eyes with) tried desperately to look somewhere other than directly at the jounin.
Gai was clad in green kurze lederhosen (the short ones) with an orange shirt underneath, brown hiking boots, and a hat with a feather in it.
"Isn't it spiffy!" Gai gave them all a thumbs up sign.
"Gai-sensei is so cool!" sighed Lee. Next to him, Neji and TenTen gagged.
"Lee my faithful student! I would not forget you! Behold! Lederhosen for all the boys!" Naruto, Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, Shino, Sasuke, and Neji balked.
"My students will not be seen in such atrocities." Hissed Kurenai.
"Same for mine." Agreed Asuma.
"For shame, my comrades…" Gai was about to expound upon the merits of the outfit when Kakashi interrupted him.
"I bet you can't get Sasuke and Naruto to wear it." He said, turning the page of his book. Naruto, Sasuke, Ino, and Sakura looked horrified.
"My rival, is that a challenge?" there was a very scary glint in Gai's eyes. Kakashi nodded.
"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Naruto.
"If I win, you have to by me the next book in the Icha Icha series." The silver-haired jounin stated.
"Yosh! And if I win you will also have to wear lederhosen!" declared the bowl-cut man. There was a brief pause before Kakashi gave his answer.
"Deal."
From a distance, the scene that followed could easily have been mistaken for anything but what it actually was. Arms and legs were everywhere, clothes were flying, and there was a lot of grunting, panting, and cursing. Several people passing by got serious nosebleeds especially after Naruto pulled out one of his trump cards…
"HAREM NO JUTSU!"
All the males in the area immediately passed out from rapid blood loss. Naruto, transformed back and was immediately assaulted by three enraged females. Hinata, got over her shock, and started preparing the bandages.
"I win." Kakashi said the moment he regained consciousness.
"You are an ass Kakashi." Growled Sasuke.
"Mou, why are you so mean to me, Sasuke?"
"Shut up, some of us are trying to sleep." Muttered Shikamaru. Kurenai rolled her eyes.
"Well, now that we're all awake, and satisfied from inflicting bodily harm on Naruto, shall we be on our way?" Several groans were her reply. "Groaning will be taken as a sign of assent."
So they all hefted their bags onto their shoulders and headed out towards the campgrounds. Gai had decided that simply walking to the camping site wasn't any fun so he forced everyone to march. Of course, you can't march along in complete silence so Kiba and Naruto decided to sing.
"Gennins from the Leaf are we,
All are missions rated D.
Fixing roofs and weeding grass
Being gennins sure sucks ass!"
"Sound off!" called Naruto.
"One, two!" cheered Kiba, Akamaru joining in.
"Sound off!"
"Three, four!" surprisingly, Ino and Sakura joined in. "One, two, three four. One, two. Three four!"
"Ah youth!" sighed Gai wiping a tear from his eye. "I fear the day when for me, youth will be impossible."
"Fear not Gai-sensei for you are still in the spring time of your youth!" Lee said confidently.
"How nice of you to say so Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"STOPPIT!" twitched Sasuke. "Isn't it bad enough that we have to look at you!"
"Whatever do you mean, Sasuke?" Gai turned and asked him.
"Ooh, maybe he's upset because you lost the bet with Kakashi-sensei and now he cannot wear these marvellous garments!" deduced (incorrectly I might add) Lee.
"Kakashi, why do you not yield to the suffering of your student!"
"Hm? Did you say something?" hummed Kakashi before breaking into a perverted giggle.
"Curse your hipness Kakashi! Put down that book and listen to me!"
"How about no?"
Will they get to the camping site without incident or will they kill each other before they even arrive. And what will befall them if they do get there in once piece? Tag along on our camping trip from hell!