When Maes died, it hurt. It was like a stake through my heart. It hurt so badly, and I knew I never wanted to feel that way again.
Then I realized, what if I lost you? What would I feel if I lost you?
Sadness. Anguish. Despair. Because I wouldn't have you by my side. Just your presence is enough to make me feel at home.
Confusion. Bewilderment. Lost. Because you are such a special person. Why did they take you away?
Anger. Hate. Because they took you away from me. Because you don't deserve to die. Don't they know that I need you?
Happy. Thankful. Because you can leave this world… leave the pain and the suffering.
Relieved. Because I don't have to worry about you getting hurt.
No. The question should be: what wouldn't I feel if I lost you? You mean so much to me, so much to my life. And if you're gone…
It would be too much for me.
That's why I can't let you near me, near my heart, even if it's the one thing in the world that I want the most.
I'm actually proud of this.
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