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Episode IV

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As I paced the airship, I purposely tried to point fiends in the direction of Ugly overalls kid. I knew that I'd told him I'd take care of this area, and that's exactly what Maroda thought I was doing. Haha, sometimes he can be so dumb and I can be so smart. I thought about many things as I paced... like where I was, and what Maroda'd gotten me into. Home being attacked in the first place had been shocking! Not that I trusted Yevon wouldn't do something like that, but I felt shocked for some reason.

I reached some stairs and opened a door at the bottom, only to be horrified to find a million shrews all squished together in the small space. I closed the door before it had fully opened and leaned against it to catch my breath. That was a close one. If there's one thing I've learned in my travels, it's that I'm probably allergic to shrews, and it's not just because they're weird-- actually, it probably is. Maroda just fails to understand such.

And then there's Pacce... that horribly annoying little brat. I still hadn't thought of a way to get rid of him, but I was sure that my extremely clever mind would think of something in the near future. Speaking of Pacce, the devil's child ran past me at that moment, and without thinking, I reached for him and lifted him into the air violently.

"I...saaru?" He questioned, a pathetic look overtaking his ugly face.

It was then that Maroda walked past, too. I lifted Pacce higher into the air in a compassionate gesture, and plastered a twisted smile, which I did not mean to turn out twisted, on my face. Luckily, all this happened before Maroda noticed I was holding Pacce. I felt glad that Maroda was so stupid and I was so smart, for the millionth time in my life. I put the vile creature down quickly, and turned to Maroda, remembering about my job of patrolling the certain hallway on the ship. I cursed mentally, and took off up the stairs before Maroda could say anything.

Leaning against the wall near Ugly overalls kid, who was killing all the fiends for me still, I decided to contemplate life. There were so many things I failed to understand about it, and the one thing that stood out the most for me was the reason for Pacce's birth. Why did my mother feel the intense need to have a third child? Wasn't Maroda's annoyance enough? Or perhaps they wished to try for another brilliant child such as myself. The answer, I'm sure, I will never find.

Suddenly, as I thought about such important things, a fiend attacked me! I glanced in Ugly overalls kid's direction to notice him fighting another fiend. I sighed heavily, and summoned Bahamut. Yawning, I pointed to Bahamut, then to the fiend. Bahamut gave me a "look". I hated it soo much when my aeons did that! Were they all on crack? You'd think one of those retarded temples of Yevon would give me one crackless aeon. Thank you for nothing, fayth.

In any case, Bahamut looked to me for orders. I sighed heavilly, again, and said with a pained voice, "Figure it out your fricking self!" And with that, Bahamut cast Life on the fiend. I sat down to watch the heated battle. Life missed, and I wonder why. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure what that magic does. Next, the fiend charged at Bahamut and forcefully grabbed 200 HP out of his hands! I screamed in outrage. Bahamut gave me the "look" again, and I glared him daggers.

"Look at me like that again and you'll wish you never left the fayth!" I shouted.

Bahamut shrugged and cast Nul-All on the fiend. I sat back, satisfied. That was a winner, I was sure of it. It looked like those glowing balls floating around the fiend would slowly whisk away it's HP. But, it sure was taking it's sweet time. With the next strike, the fiend caused Bahamut to errupt in glowing pyreflies and vanish. I rolled my eyes. Even with all his winning attacks, I suppose nothing can match my own skill.

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A/N: Ah, it's been a while! But, I just gained some random inspiration to update this story. I have to say, I really enjoy it, all in all. It's probably one of my favourite stories because it's so crackish. This chapter was short, and it may or may not be the last, so I hope you liked it. ;D Reviews are awesome.