Hey everyone now I am so sorry that this story took so long to update but I needed to find out if I did something first then I needed to actually WRITE this! Anyway I will just get on with the story.
TO MY BETA'S: I am sorry for not sending you this chapter but i wanted to update the story ASAP and i really didn't want to wait next one i WILL send it!
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH and since there's no OC I can't own them and I don't own Chiles the restraint or anything!
Chapter : Cut.
Hiei's P.O.V
Time had slipped threw my hands I stayed at the fox's house despite how much I hated being left alone. BeforeI knew it my sensitive ears picked up the ringing of my koi's clock.
This signaled to me the begining of a new hour starting. IfI had counted the rings right it was 3 o'clock; the kitsune would be home in an hour's time.
I sat in his room my bandaged arm unwrapped just enough to gain access to my cuts. I unsheathed my katana and held the hilt tightly.
In one fluid movementI cut an open wound on my arm my blood falling from it freely. I made know attempt to stop my bleeding but just put the blade to my palm and spun it around time and again
Once again blood fell butIwas to deep in thought to realize how much bloodi was truly losing nor didI feel any of the pain. Why didI continue to do this? What purpose did it serve now?
Even if Ididn't truly deserve itI had what I had wanted... needed for a long time; the fox. I knew he would listen to me know matter whatI said so why continue this?
Maybe it was just the principal of if, being thatI had done it for so long I just couldn't stop. Then again maybe reality was just something I didn't want to face; that it was as close to death as i could get... that it was the only wayI could punish myself for things I did.
The sound of the front door closing snapped me back to reality i instantly jumped and felt the ki of whoever had come in to see if it was who i thought and hoped it wasn't... sadly though feeling the all to fimiliar ki i was proven wrong it was the fox.
He was early resulting in me being caught off guard, i instantly wrapped my arm loose but not covering the wounds which left it to bleed, although i did put my cloack on hoping the blood wouldn't seep threw it.
I instantly got up and headed for the living room where i found Kurama putting his stuff down a smile spreading across his face at seeing me; I desperatly hoped he wouldn't smell the blood on me.
"Hello Hiei." He said simply standing back up.
"You're early."
"Yes they released us early today."
"Why?" I didn't realize how tense my voice was until this point.
His look changed to confusion, "I'm not sure exactly why are you so concerned?" He asked.
I stayed silent for a moment, "No reason." I said simply. It was obvious he wasn't quiet convinsed by my answer but he seemed to give in to it.
The feeling of blood flowing down my hand alerted me back to my palm were i had a large bleading circle from where my katana blade had driven into my skin, how would i hide it now.
"Well Yusuke wants us to go out to eat with him and Kuwabara later on." He explained walking past me into the kitchen. I took the moment to turn my hand over and see how bad my incision was.
It was as bad asI had thoughtI had a deep circle in my skin from it's spining and blood was flowing from it. I clenched my fist trying to keep the blood from falling off my hand.
"Out to eat?" I asked walking into the the kitchen where Kurama poured two glasses of ayellow liquide.
"Yes a resturaunt were you order food and they bring it to you some people go there to escape hacing to cook." The fox explained bringing the drinks over to the table and sitting down.
"Sound's stupid." I replied starting to walk down the hall, "Where are you going?" I didn't stop but simply said, "no where." Since when didI hold things from my koi?
NeverthelessI went down into Kurama's bathroom and started looking over for that little box he always used on wounds it was a white box with a red plus sign on it.
I sighed in deffeat when I couldn't find it and went back down into the dining room, later onI would heal it myself. Kurama pushed my the glass and i looked at it oddly. "It's lemonade it's sweet but good."
I looked at him before reaching for it and takeing itin my hand and sniffing it. I could indeed smell the sugar someone had put into this tainted water. But even soI took a drink of it and found it was good, i looked at the fox over the rim of the glass to find him with a confused look still on his face.
"What?" I asked putting the glass down a bit.
"I smell blood but i can't tell where it is coming from." My heart almost literally stoped right then and I inconspicuously looked down at the hand holding the glass to find it was the arm with the wound on it.
Right then the pain from having the open wound touching the glass shot threw me but I hid it as best I could. (You ever notice you never really feel pain until you know you have the cut or whatever? I always thought that was odd.)
There was no doubtI had put blood on the glass now taking my hand off would only prove his words right. I didn't want to think what he would do if or when he found out what I had done.
But something inside me also told me to just take my hand away and let me get any fate came my way I deserved it all anyways.
Kurama's P.O.V
I watched my koi intently observing his every move, his hand holding the glass shook a bit but barely noticable obviously by me telling him about what i smelt proved that something was going on.
As to whatI had yet to discover.
Hiei's P.O.V
"You must be wrong." I said realizing how stupid that sounded taking another drink trying to act as normal asI could. My secret was going to be revealed by the end of the night there was no way around it.
"Maybe." He said looking at me up and down. I felt like i was being interegated in some way i just wanted it to stop to have him look at something else.
"Did you like it?" He asked his expression changing a bit. I had known him long enough to know that he might look differant and he might have changed the subject but he was still lingering on it and still trying to find any sort of downfallI had; Iwould not fall for it.
"It was okay." I admitted casting my gaze downwards. "You seem tense about something Hiei." He said oh here it was he was going to drag it out of meI knew it.
"Why do you say that?"
"Just the way your hand shakes." He pointed with his head to my hand on the glass that did slightly shake. I tried to stop but it proved useless i had been caught and even ifI hadn'tI would have to let go of the glass sometime then the blood that had been on my hand would be on the glass.
I sighed silently and took my hand off the glass setting the glass down on the table and letting my arm down loosly. As i had expected it didn't take long for him to notice it.
"Hiei are you bleeding?" He asked but obviously he already knew the answer to that question.
"Yes." I admitted.
He got up and came over as i stood up myself. "Let me see." He ordered even though his tone was soft... at least it was now. I let my breath out and drew my hand up the back of it towards him. He took my hand softly and turned it over srawing in a breath at the large bleeding circle.
"How did this happen?" He asked in a worried tone. Wait... worried he was worried? Of coarse he was he had said he loved me butI still didn't understand why he did.
Now came my decision tell him the truth or not... of corse i had to tell him the truthI loved him andI would feel guilty ifI told him anything less then the truth.
"I did it to myself."
"Why Hiei?" He asked pulling me towards the bathroom i had just been in.
I knew i was in for a big interegation and i would probably be yelled at to but for right now it seemed that all he cared about was getting it cleaned up. "Why aren't you yelling at me?" I asked him as he started searching the cabinets for that white box.
"I want to get your wound cleaned up first but i won't yell at you because i haven't heard your reasoning yet and even then i wouldn't." That really still didn't answer my question.
"But why that's what i deserve." How could i be saying this now?
"I don't know why i couldn't bring myself to."
"Why?"
"Because i love you and i would feel guilty for making you feel bad." There it was he loved me... or so he said... why shouldn't i believe him he only speaks the truth so why would this time be any differant?
I readied myself for that interegation as he brought that hidden white box down and i stood there my hand loosly at my side a drop of blood falling onto the tile.
My vision blurred for a moment and i felt myself spinning until i cought myself had i truly lost that much blood? Over this time i wasn't that surprised, i felt myself spinning again but i caught myself with help from the wall behind me.
I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed how pale my skin was and how bad i truly looked did he see this? Did he know of the pain I kept held inside my heart and soul? I hoped he didn't I would solve my problems myself as long as it took.
I sighed silently as he opened the box and took out the nessicary materials to help my wound. He took my hand again and turning it over loosly as i shut my eyes and stood limply feeling his gentel touch.
At this moment i felt ashamed of myself but i so often did the feeling came instinctivly to me. Finally i felt him wrap the white bandage around my hand and tied it.
I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me, why was he smiling at me i had done something wrong and should be yelled at for it, but he didn't i didn't understand.
"Now come with me koi." He said as i followed him out of the room and back to the kitchen he retook his seat as i did and i starred down at the table.
"Please explain to me why you did this to yourself." I realized then that my arm was still bleeding openly under my cloack great nowIhad to let it bleed for who knows how long.
"I don't completly know it doesn't matter."
"It does matter it makes me worry when you do these things Hiei." He explained.
"I don't know I can't figure it out myself." I explainedlooking into his concerned emerald eyes. He sighed in defeat looking down at the table, I hated the look on his face I hated thatI caused him pain like this.
Had it not been last night when it was my koi who was in need? I hated changing it to me now i didn't want to bother him with my own problems.
"Well do you have any other places where you did it?"
"No." I almost slapped myself for lying to the fox... my fox! Why was I sinking so low as to lie to my koi not to mention my best friend about something important like this?
"Well I'm glad but i must ask that you never do it again koi." That worried look spread across his face again and it took a moment for me to find my words.
"I know that fox." He smiled at me.
"Well we should go to meet Yusuke and Kuwabara now." He gotup and I followed maybe this night would prove to become interesting.
A/N: Long i hope well it turned out EXACTLY how i wanted and i have an idea for the next chapter but i am going to wait and let you die with this...
PREVIEW:
Does anyone know what happens to someone when they have blood loss? (Must i say more? If you read the chapter close you will know that Hiei let his wound on this upper arm continue to bleed.)
Review and i shall update ASAP! Oh and please give me idea's they will be greatly appreciated and will be used!