"And that's why I'm afraid 'a terlets." Coach Z was walking onto the stage carrying a bottle of Listerine, from which he took a swig.

"Ugh, really didn't need to hear that." Bubs followed the coach in, wearing a look of pure disgust on his face. Coach Z took another swig of mouthwash.

"Well, I tell yas." Coach Z went on "Indoor plummen, It's-"

"Hey," said Bubs, spotting the mass of people off of the stage. "What's evabody doin out here?"

"We havin some kinda kernvention 'er somethin?"

"Whatever you do," Marzipan said "don't sit in that chair."

"What cher?" The coach asked as he sat down.

"Know you stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your staaaaars."

"I think she means that chair." Bubs said pointing at the chair Coach Z was sitting in.

"Nah," said Coach Z "I'd know if it wer this one."

"Coach Z…." said the voice "Is a proud member of the lace and doily club."

"The who with the what, now?" Coach Z asked blankly. "I've never heard of such a thing."

"You know," the voice went on "It's where they talk about books and poems and junk. They knit and drink lots of tea."

"I don't drink no T's," said the coach. "er A's, er S's er any other letters fer that matter." Bubs sighed exasperatedly.

"And most of its members are elderly ladies." The voice went on

"Oh, lady types!" said Coach Z "That's okay then." Bubs went pop eyed at this statement and took a large step away from Coach Z.

"Coach Z…" continued the voice "Is a leprechaun."

"Leppercawn!" Coach Z exclaimed. "I ain't no leppercawn!… And what is a leppercawn anyways?"

"The wee people." Said the voice "Irish folk with magical powers."

"Evwy one loves Magical Twevoh-" Homestar started singing again.

"DAAAAUGH!" Strong mad hit Homestar over the head, rendering him unconscious.

"Hey," said Coach Z "I got no magical-ness,… And I'm perty sure I'm not Irish, so I couldn't be a leppercawn boy o'."

Bubs started chuckling.

"Then explain your green clothes." The voice went on

"Hey, this is all I can afferd." coach said "And what's so funny?" he asked Bubs.

"Oh, nothin." Bubs lied. "Maybe I should start call'en you o' Z." he chuckled. Coach Z drank deeply from his Listerine bottle.

"Coach Z…" said the voice "Has three heads."

"Really?" said coach. "Aresome! Hey, were're the odder two?" he asked, looking all around.

"You don't really have three heads!" the voice snapped.

"Oh, den why'd you say I did?" he asked

"You-your…that,-it" the voice stuttered. "grrr-ugh,…Coach Z…"

"Hey, dats me." Said Coach Z (Who was blind drunk by now.)

"Eats barbed wire." The voice said "…naked…on his front lawn." the voice added hopefully.

"life is full of beauty-full things…" Coach Z started singing.

"Ugh," the voice sighed. "Now you know Coach Z, the barbed wire eating, three headed leprechaun." said the voice dully, as if it had something better to be doing.

"Life is full of beauty-full things!…" Coach Z was now dancing at the edge of the stage while singing – much to every ones discontent. Bubs observed this little display for a brief moment before pushing Coach Z off of the stage with a resounding thud.

"Happy decemberween, Mr. President." Coach Z mumbled from the floor.

"Glad that's over." Bubs said as he stepped backwards a couple of paces and fell down into the chair.