Disclaimer – I do not own Shaun of the dead or any of its characters.

I wonder in the all time list of crazy things people have done, where would this rank…

Shaun mused to himself as he approached a wall in the cover of darkness. Breaking into government facilities wasn't Shaun's favourite past time but a buddies gotta do what a buddies gotta do. With his only known weapon in hand (a cricket bat), Shaun took a running leap at the wall.

After his third time of trying, Shaun realised this wasn't the best way in. Going round the buildings perimeter for another entrance, Shaun gave a sly smile to a ZRN poster (Zombie rights now). Cowering between the brick wall was a tiny door locked with a minute padlock.

"Wooden bat versus metal padlock. Well it works in films-"

Before he managed to say 'this isn't a film though' a black clad figure pushed from behind and snapped it open with some large pliers.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself, it's a sign of madness." The black clad figure whispered to Shaun before knocking the door open.

"Well who the hell are you?" Shaun asked following the person into the building.

"My names Kevin, I work for the ZRN, we're trying to free the drummer from Coldplay." Stunned, Shaun paused before inquiring further.

"But he's like, a zombie." Kevin gave what sounded like an impatient snort before proceeding through the darkness that is the building.

"Where's all the cameras, can't the night vision ones be able to see us?" Shaun asked as Kevin expertly moved through the darkness, making no noise at all.

"Not if they don't have any power." Shaun heard the sound of Kevin's pliers snapping together indicating he must have cut any required wires.

"But can't they call for help or anything? Oh, my names Shaun by the way."

"Whatever and no they can't as there's only one guy still here. The guard and he's one of ours. My names Kevin, Steve."

"Yeah, you've said and it's Shaun." About to compliment Kevin on his planning, Shaun felt a cold touch on his shoulder. Recoiling immediately, Shaun pulled out his torch and shone it behind him.

"Holy fck!" Shaun screamed, his torch resting on a drooling zombie only inches away. Shining it around, it seemed the two were in a corridor of zombies, with rows either side. Shaun thanked god for the tight restraints.

"It's terrible isn't it?" Kevin called back solemnly.

"That isn't the word I use." Shaun chuckled as he began to follow Kevin again.

Kevin whispered some inaudible into a walkie-talkie and within seconds the lights sprung on. Kevin suddenly began to march up and down the rows of zombies in search of his friend. Shaun looked for some directions to the laboratories but spotted a little black figure at the end of the corridor.

"Um, Kev, what's that?" Kevin stopped his searching and looked at the dark figure. Before he could answer, the figure started moving and was visible within seconds.

"It's a guard dog!" Kevin ran towards Shaun and away from the dog as it barked loudly starting all the zombies moaning.

"I'll deal with this." Shaun stood in front of Kevin, bat in hand, the zombies giving the moment an eerie tension. The dog pounced as Shaun swung the bat with his right hand. It connected sending the dog reeling across the floor.

"KO, one nil to the Shaun." Shaun swung the bat around his arm confidently. Shaken the dog rose growling.

"I think you just made it angry." Kevin squeaked nervously.

"Ok, crap it. Run." The two ran down the corridor as the dog gaze chase.

"How come you didn't know there was a fricking dog then?" Shaun shouted as the dog nipped at his heels, still shaken. He glanced up at a sign pointing to the research section.

"Let's go this way-" Shaun grabbed Kevin and pulled him into another corridor. The dog slid passed the corridor, confused by the sudden change in pace. Shaun laughed at the dogs yelp as it slid along the polished white floors.

"Um, Steve the doors locked." Kevin kicked two large double doors blocking their way.

"It's Steve, I mean Shaun." Confusing himself, Shaun took out his frustration on a important looking black box next to the doors.

"Open, stupid, doors, this, should, work!" He screamed, each word matching his next swing. Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Shaun stopped.

"Where did the dog go?" As if hearing Kevin's words, the guard dog sprinted past the corridor yelping as he went.

"I wonder what spooked him?" Shaun resumed his onslaught leaving Kevin to stare at the empty corridor. The white at the end of the corridor began to flicker as slow shadows started to creep along the floor.

"Hurrah, I think we have progress." The door bent inwards as Shaun kicked it as hard as he could. Kevin slowly tapped Shaun on his shoulder again causing him to stop and turn around impatiently. "Okay, what now."

Kevin pointed to the end of the corridor where a human figure stumbled into view.

"I think that box was pretty important, don't you Steve." Kevin looked at Shaun who had a frozen look of terror on his face. "Steve? Shaun?"

At least six others had entered the corridor and were stumbling towards them. Kevin charged into the doors, which creaked inwards even more.

"C'mon Shaun!" Kevin charged again, the doors locks bending and snapping. Shaun snapped out of his trance as the nearest zombies' shadow crept over his face. The two charged into the door, slamming it open as the zombie horde came closer.

"Quickly, barricade the doors." Shaun ordered as he reached for the nearest heavy object to block the door. Kevin followed as he pushed a metal cabinet in front of the door; the zombies still a surprisingly long way away. The two shoved nearly the whole rooms contents into the entrance, only stopping to sit against one of the cabinets.

"I'm am a stupid, stupid man." Shaun whispered to himself as he wiped sweat from his brow. Kevin smiled feeling the slight bash as the zombies reached the barricade.

"How will we get out?" Kevin asked. They both looked up, two open double doors opposite them. Shaun gave a chuckle and rose so he could look for the way out. Metres from the door, the familiar moan echoed towards him.

"You have got to be joking."