Prompt (096) Writer's Choice
Daniel, Jack, mentions of Sarah, Sha're, Sam, Sokar
Written for the community slash100 at livejournal.

After Sarah, Daniel gave up on relationships. He figured he was no good at them. People got jealous of the attention his gave his work. Then he met Sha're. Then his world was turned upside-down.

Sha're was no Sarah. She was a gift, in more ways than the literal. She might not have understood the appeal rocks and things long gone had, but she appreciated that he did. Sha're understood that, even though he sometimes got carried away, he didn't love her less than his rocks. They were just rocks, after all, and they couldn't compare to her soft beauty. In her eyes he found the acceptance Sarah had never given him. In her arms he found the peace he'd only found before in his work.

Then she was snatched away from him. When Sha're died, Daniel swore she would be the last. No more lovers, no more dates, no more dinners, no more. But he hadn't counted on Jack.

That night was Friday. Team night. Daniel didn't go. So Jack brought the team to him, and didn't stop pounding on his door until he opened it. Then he managed to get Daniel to talk about Sha're, and then between the laughter and the alcohol, the only memory Daniel has of that night is being happy.

Jack told him later that he'd always liked wakes better than funerals, anyway.

But then they threw themselves into Sokar's hell moon. When he saw Jack and not his parents, or Sha're...he realized that he was in love with him. He was in love with Jack. Somehow, Jack had become the most important person in his life.

Then somewhere along the way, things got worse. Daniel can't pinpoint the time when "Dial the gate, Daniel" became "Dial the gate, Carter". He doesn't know when their friendly banter turned into cutting arguements. He doesn't know when he stopped wanting to go through the gate, only that one day he didn't want to see Jack. Later that week, they dialed Kelowna.

Daniel remembers Jonas smiled too much. He remembers that he had long hair, and it was slicked back, and that he never stopped smiling. But then Daniel stopped Kelowna from being blown up into tiny bitty pieces, and he doesn't remember Jonas smiling then.

The only thought after I don't want to die was I never told Jack. And even as Jack sat across from him, and he was trying to tell Jack that he's not worth saving, he wished he could tell Jack. But Jack didn't need to know, and after a while it hurt to talk. When they said goodbye, Daniel didn't tell Jack then, because Jack wouldn't have wanted to know.

Daniel wondered if Jack knew anyway, if his actions gave it away. He wondered if that was why their friendship went sour. But it really didn't matter, in the end, because he was still ascended. Nonetheless, when his friends were in trouble, he helped them. When Jack asked him, finally, on Abydos, to break the rules, he was so tired of watching that he gave in. He never guessed that he would be descended because of it.

He saw something darken in Jack's eyes when they found him and he didn't remember. He didn't understand, then, why vague notions solidified into something hard and real when he met them. He asked Sam if they were together; she was beautiful, and if the feeling was love it made sense that he would love her. But somehow, even as he asked her, he knew it wasn't her he loved.

He went back to Earth, hoping he would find answers there. He only discovered more questions.

Was it ironic that the first thing he remembered about him and Jack was Jack saying, "Shut up, Daniel"? With that came the shock that his love was directed at the very man who his emerging memory said hated him. Over a few days, he remembered everything about him and Jack, the good and the bad, and he didn't know how to act. So he avoided Jack as much as he could, not trusting his feelings or his memory.

So he was surprised when one night Jack showed up at his newly-bought house and kissed him. The talking came the next morning. That was Friday: Jack ordered pizza, Daniel brought out the beer Jack liked, and they watched hockey, nestled together in the couch. Daniel remembered his vow that Sha're would be the last, and decided she wouldn't mind if she wasn't.