Disclaimer- Not mine and never will be (sigh). Oh well, I can play with them in fic.

Peter let himself in with the key Garret had insisted he take with him to San Francisco and carried the bags of groceries to the kitchen. He went to check on Garret and found him still asleep, wrapped around Peter's pillow. He walked softly back to the kitchen and turned on the radio. After putting away the things he'd bought, starting dinner and cleaning the apartment, Peter sat down with the book he'd taken from the airplane and occupied himself for a couple of hours.

When he looked up at the sound of the shower running, it was after six and the sun was behind the buildings across the street. He headed to the kitchen, checked on dinner and sat waiting for Garret to make an appearance. He'd brought all the booze into the kitchen so that Garret couldn't avoid him without forgoing a drink.

"Damn." He heard the growl of Garret discovering the lack of scotch in the study, soon followed by "Peter!" from the living room.

"Where the hell..." Garret came into the kitchen stopping short when he saw all the bottles lined up on the counter. "What the fuck is going on here?" He grumbled walking across to the counter and grabbing a glass.

"I wanted to be sure I caught you sober today." Peter moved over to the table. "Dinner will be ready in five."

"I'm not hungry and when did you turn into a nagging wife?" Garret complained.

"I'm not nagging, I just want you sober tonight, so we can talk," Peter grinned behind Garret's back.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked as he poured a measure of scotch.

"Well let's start with that." Peter gestured to the glass in Garret hand. "Why?"

"Peter, I'm not an alcoholic." Garret stated baldly.

"Did I say you were?" Peter replied. "I just wondered why you were drinking twenty minutes after you got up."

"Because I feel like it." He answered.

"Okay, but humor me. Don't drink tonight." Peter wondered if he'd be able to make it without a drink. "So what have you been doing since you were suspended?"

"Peter, I haven't spent all my time drinking. I've even been exercising just like you use to nag me to do."

"I don't nag." Peter grinned. "I 'suggest'."

Garret poured out the scotch and sat down with a cup of coffee. "Nag." He smiled at Peter.

"Grouch."

"Pot."

"Kettle." They both laughed.

Peter decided the time was right to talk to Garret about coming out. "I talked to Jeannette last week." Garret had met Peter's younger sister while Peter still worked at the morgue.

"How is she, did she get accepted to Columbia Med.?" Garret had written a letter of recommendation for her.

"Yeah, she got in and told me to thank you for the letter." Peter took a deep breath. "I told her about us." Garret glared at him. "Garret, don't you think it's time to come out of the closet, at least with your friends and family?"

"Peter." Garret's tone held a warning to back off the subject.

Peter decided to try the other elephant in the room. "Talk to me about what's going on. Tell me why you won't fight for a job you love."

"Peter, I told you, I've got nothing left, nothing. I'm tapped out."

"Wrong, Garret, you've got one thing left."

"What?" He asked irritably.

"You've got me." Peter turned to the oven and pulled out the dinner. "If you still want me." He held his breath, afraid of the answer to that question. He felt Garret move up behind him and his hands turned Peter to face him.

"I do, don't I?" Garret pulled him close as Peter laid his head on Garret's shoulder.

"Yeah, you do." He whispered in Garret's ear. "For as long as you want me. Now are you gonna eat or did I slave over a hot stove for nothing?" He felt Garret begin to laugh, a real, honest, genuine laugh.

"Jesus, I missed you, Peter." Peter felt Garret's lips on his cheek, beginning to make their way back toward his ear. "Will it keep?" Garret's breath tickled his ear just before Peter felt him tracing the curves as he began to walk backwards toward the bedroom, pulling Peter with him.

"Oh yeah." Peter sighed in agreement following Garret back to the bedroom. Garret turned and backed him up until Peter felt the bed against the backs of his legs. How the hell did he navigate like that while driving me up a wall? Peter wondered, and then decided he'd just be glad Garret was so good at multitasking. He felt a hand slip in the back on his pants, which were somehow now undone, to trace the sensitive skin at the base of his spine. Peter shivered at the sensation and moaned around Garret's tongue, which had found its way back to his mouth.

Peter slid his hands up Garret's back under his shirt, breaking the kiss to draw the shirt over his head. He tossed it in the corner and worked feverishly to get Garret stripped of the clothes he'd put on only a short time before. Stopping to inhale the combined scent of soap, shaving lotion and a smell that was uniquely Garret, Peter shivered at the feel of a hand sliding over him.

Sometime later Peter rolled over and looked at Garret. "You still got it, babe." He teased as Garret pulled him back up against his chest, wrapping his arms around Peter.

"Did you think maybe I'd forgotten how?" He felt Garret's smile against the back of his neck as he snuggled against Peter's long frame and Peter drifted off to sleep.

Peter woke later to the feel of Garret's slow, even breath on the back of his neck and turned, waking him with a kiss.

"What time is it?" Garret asked returning the kiss.

"Nine-thirty, dinner's probably a wash." Peter kissed him again and pulled back a little to look him in the eye. "Nice distraction there, but we're still going to talk."

"It was worth a shot." Garret grinned at him, the twinkle in his eye reminding Peter of a time before life had interrupted their affair.

"It was a dud," Peter grinned back. "But a very satisfying one."

Peter wasn't going to let Garret get past him. "Garret, what do you really want? Just think about the question, if there had been no Moreau case and you could still be the chief, would you?" Peter watched his eyes narrow as he considered the possibility, but didn't answer the question. Peter sighed, Garret always over analyzed things, it was his major weakness. "Are you really content to sit back and let Jack Slokum run your morgue and completely wreck the morale of your staff?"

"Peter, it's not a matter of what I want, it's a matter of what is." Garret pulled himself up and leaned back against the headboard. "I can't force the governor to reinstate me, I'm lucky they didn't indict me."

Peter sat up and turned to face Garret, knees to his chest. "Our family is hurting, they need you. You may not have been able to stay at the morgue, but you've deserted them. I can maybe believe that you don't want to fight for your job, but what I can't believe is that you don't want to fight for them."

Garret sighed. "Slokum's not a bad guy, just very rigid."

"He a tin-plated, swaggering, petty dictator with delusions of godhood." Peter spat back heatedly, then stopped to take a breath as he realized anger was getting the better of him. He hung his head and tried to calm himself. After a moment, he felt Garret's hand running through his hair.

"Does it mean that much to you, Peter?" He asked softly.

Peter looked up into the older man's eyes. "Does it mean that little to you, Garret?" He asked evenly. They sat looking at each other for several minutes before Garret finally looked away. Peter got up and pulled on his jeans.

"I'm going to get dinner; I'll make you a protein shake before I go." At the look on Garret's face, he grinned. "And you'll drink it, won't you?"

"Yes, wife." Garret teased.

Peter headed for the kitchen and put together the shake for Garret. As Garret came into the room, Peter looked up, "Okay this is protein, whey and green algae, let it run for two minutes and drink all of it. I'm gonna get Chinese, that okay with you?"

"Sounds good, but Peter, why am I drinking something that looks like it came out of the lab refrigerator?" Garret teased.

"Just make sure it's all gone when I get back and I don't mean down the sink." Peter kissed him and headed out, calling in their order on his way to the elevator.

Thirty minutes later, Peter juggled the bags and put his key in the lock. Opening the door, he stopped short at the sight of Jordan in a nice suit. She stared for a moment with her mouth open.

"Peter! What are you doing in Boston? What are you doing here?" She asked looking from Peter to Garret and back.

Peter looked at Garret and raised an eyebrow over the protein drink in Jordan's hand, then looked at Garret again, willing him to take advantage of the moment and finally tell his best friend about the two of them.

"Hi Jordan. Nice suit, very hot." He walked to the kitchen and put down the bags. "Are you gonna eat with us? I got more than enough." He looked at Garret. "Lo Lens didn't have any Kung Pao Chicken tonight, so you're stuck with General Tso's."

"Garret?" Peter heard the arch question in Jordan's voice as she turned to Garret.

"Jordan, I ... you might want to sit down for a minute." Garret said and Peter thought 'yesss'

"I'm gonna go grab a shower," he told the room at large and slipped off down the hall. Even though he'd told Lily, he'd like to see this, Garret and Jordan needed a little time to talk. He heard Garret's voice as an indistinct rumble.

"WHAT?" Peter had to grin at the sound of Jordan's voice.

He stripped and turned on the shower. Stepping under the hot spray, Peter wondered what Jordan's reaction would be and sighed over the necessity of having the same conversation with his mother and stepfather. He already knew their reaction in advance. His mother would cry and cling to him, begging him to find a nice girl who would change his mind.

She'd blame everything on Garret as the older man, leading her 'little boy' astray. His stepfather would order Peter out of the house never to return unless he mended his perverted ways. This was not going to be a pleasant family reunion on several levels. Thomas Winslow already judged Peter as weak and lacking moral fiber for being an addict; he would see this as confirmation of his theory that Peter was the 'bad seed'.

Jesus, why couldn't he just keep quiet, let them assume he was still in mourning over Allison and didn't want to date anyone else.

'Suck it up Winslow; you know this is important to working your program. It's dicking around and not being honest that sent you back to the drugs. Shut up whining and do it. Its gonna hurt like hell, but if you can't do this you may as well get a standing reservation at rehab, cause you're gonna spend the rest of your life cycling.'

He really hated the pushy, vocal conscience he'd grown in rehab this time around. The bastard sat in the back of his head and wouldn't let him bullshit himself anymore.

' Speaking of which, you need to make amends for that little scene at the morgue this afternoon. Slokum was a prick for embarrassing you like that, but you weren't any better. You slammed his standing with his staff and may have damaged his self-esteem. Apology time boy, first thing tomorrow.'

'But I don't want to apologize and besides he started it.' Peter argued with the voice and then realized what a whiny brat he sounded like. 'All right, I'll go talk to him tomorrow morning.'

'Good boy.'

His conscience turned away and Peter stuck a mental tongue out at it, and then laughed at himself. 'You may not use any more Winslow, but you're crazier than ever.' He thought as he rinsed off and grabbed a towel to wrap around himself.

He padded barefoot to the adjoining bedroom and grabbed his travel kit so that he could get rid of the thick stubble on his face. He looked in the mirror and decided that, except for his reaction to Slokum, he'd made it through another day without screwing up. 'One more down, the rest of my life to go.'

After he shaved, he walked back into the living room to find Jordan sitting, grinning at him as Garret loaded the plates with food and brought them over, then went back for beers for him and Jordan and a bottle of water for Peter.

"Well now I know where you disappeared to and why. Congratulations, by the way, Garret says you've made it 11 months this time around. So is that the reason for the water?"

"Yep, three more weeks and I'll be collecting a one year chip." Peter folded himself onto the floor and grabbed the water, taking a sip. "And no, the water is because I hate domestic beer, booze wasn't my drug of choice that was Oxycontin."

"So you two managed to hide this from everybody for how long?" Jordan asked both of them.

"Four months before I left, but not from everyone. Lily knew." Peter told her, glad that she seemed to be taking this so well.

Garret came over, sat on the couch beside Jordan, and listened.

"I can't believe you never told me, man." Jordan looked at Garret. "Does this mean you really are my bestest girlfriend." Peter nearly choked on his water as Garret scowled at her.

"Don't push it, Jordan." He grumbled as Peter and Jordan laughed.

"So Garret's a switch hitter and you're?" Jordan asked Peter.

"Strictly DC now." Peter told her.

"Damn, guess that explains why my powers didn't work on you, huh?" Jordan grinned.

"Nope, they are quite impressive, but I've spent years manipulating people. Kind of hard to turn the tables on me." Peter said grinning. "I'm a junkie remember. Manipulation is what we do."

"Ex-junkie." Garret said.

"Recovering junkie." Peter countered, Garret hated to hear him refer to himself as an addict, he'd much rather keep it in the past. Peter understood that feeling, but he'd realized that he had to be completely honest with himself if he was going to stay clean. "Come on Garret, you know it as well as I do, Once an addict, always an addict. It's all about choosing not to use and learning the skills to stick with it."

The room was silent for several moments. "Sorry." Peter said. "Guess I pulled out the soapbox, huh?"

"I think you've earned a little pontificating." Jordan smiled. "Frisco, huh? What was that like?"

"Hell at first. Rehab is never fun, especially when they make you sing those stupid songs." Peter still couldn't get the sound of 'Lean On Me' out of his mind. "The halfway house was a real trip. It was in the Castro district and had a non-alcoholic nightclub next door. Great house band and some wild dancing."

"You always were a hell of a dancer, Peter." Jordan grinned, remembering the last Christmas party they'd had at the Pogue before Peter left and the sight of Peter and Nigel teaching Lily to skank to Less Than Jake.

"I can never get this one to go dancing." He gestured at Garret.

"Aww c'mon, Gar. You gotta try skanking." Jordan teased.

"No."

"Just once." She wheedled.

"Absolutely not."

"I'll go dancing with you, Peter." She offered. "The stick in the mud can sit at the table and watch."

"You've got a date, Jordan. Friday?" Peter suggested.

"Ten o'clock." Jordan agreed. "I'll meet you at The White Rabbit."

"I am not going to a gay nightclub." Garret interjected.

"Afraid someone will see you, sweetie?" Peter teased knowing exactly what his problem was.

"No, I hate techno." Peter mouthed the words as Garret said them, while Jordan laughed.

"Someday, somebody will open a gay jazz club and then I'll make him go and dance with me." Peter grinned.

For the rest of the evening, Jordan and Peter took turns teasing Garret and actually got a few laughs out of him. Peter relaxed a little to see him smiling and laughing with his best friend. It appeared that the rift between them was well on the way to healing and Garret seemed more comfortable now that he'd told Jordan the truth.

He'd even reached over and pulled Peter close. It was the fist time Garret had ever shown physical affection to him in front of another person and it took all Peter could do not to beam at the world in general. Just to be able to sit with his head against Garret's knee with someone else there, to have that semi-public act of laying claim made Peter happier than he'd been in months.

After Jordan left, Peter moved to the couch beside Garret. "That wasn't so hard was it?"

"No, I guess not." Garret conceded.

"See, a couple more times and you'll be as good at it as Ellen Degeneres." Peter teased.

"One more queer joke and I'll stuff you back into the closet." Garret threatened.

"Ooo, I love it when you go all butch, baby." Peter said in a high falsetto as Garret pinned him to the couch and began tickling him in retribution.

Peter finally got away from the fingers that left him gasping for breath. He lay with his head in Garret's lap. "So, are you gonna march with me on Gay Pride Day?"

"You're pushing your luck there, Pete." Garret rumbled using the nickname he knew Peter hated.

Peter grinned up at him, then tried again. "Garret, are you going to help with the Titleman case?"

Garret's sigh at the question reeked of frustration and surrender. "If I promise to call Renee will you stop nagging?" He smiled slightly.

"About this? Yes. About the booze? No. You drink too much, it's not healthy." Peter grinned. "You need that place Garret and those people and they need you." Peter sat up and pulled Garret to him. "And you need to be honest with yourself; you can't be the stoic tough guy all the time. You have to let yourself be vulnerable sometimes, let people know how much you love them. Let them in."

Peter reached for the phone and held it out to Garret. "When was the last time you called Abby, just to say 'I love you'?"

"I don't remember." Garret said looking ashamed.

"Then do it now. Take her out to dinner and get to know her. You both need it, and each other, more than you know."

"You've changed Peter, you weren't this grown up when you left. If I said no, you'd drop it. You're stronger, tougher and not as angry anymore. I like the changes." Garret kissed him and Peter felt an overwhelming relief, he'd been so worried that the changes he'd had to make would cause Garret to pull away from him.