Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the concepts of the Xenosaga games. I'm just playing with them, and then I'll put them back in their boxes, Mommy, I promise. I'm making no profit out of this story, and if you sue me, you'll only get a few lint balls. I wouldn't bother with it, really.
I do own this story, and plagurizing it would make you a sad, sad, creepy little person. It'd also make me angry, and I bite. So save yourself some rabies shots and don't even try to nick it, okay?
Currently unbeta-ed. If you'd like to volunteer for the position I'd love you forever.
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Chapter Five – Touching the Illusion
"What..." Shion stepped back, bringing up the arm with which she wielded Miyuki's MWS out of defensive habit. The little girl with her face merely stared at her with unfathomable eyes. "This is ridiculous," Shion said uneasily, flicking her finger in a way that would have had her nails tapping against the MWS's trigger mechanism. However, here, Shion had no weapons.
"Is it really so hard to believe, after all that we have seen in so short a space of time?"
Even if she did, at the moment, she had no idea what she would do with it. After all, while blowing her painful past to hell and back might be therapeutic, surely beating an image of her younger self to a pulp would be bad for her psyche. With her luck, this probably had some sort of Freudian meaning.
"It's amazing you know."
Shion blinked at her younger self. "What?"
"Our possibilities. You want to know where you fit into the picture that's forming, right?" Younger Shion began walking, and Shion began following her without thinking. "Yes. What, has my subconscious been taking lessons from that annoying apparition? Just say it straight."
Younger Shion sent a very droll look over her shoulder. "Are you going to let me talk or not? I'm you, you know. There's really no use in you complaining at me. You'd have your answers if you weren't so determined to block me out."
Shion ignored her, looking around. "The Acute Neurosis Facility..."
"This is where the first stone was cast. Look!" Younger Shion pointed.
Shion looked. Really looked, for the first time. "That's..." she shook her head, "The Song of Nephilim... It... it was part of what caused the Conflict, but... what does that have to do with--"
"We hear it." Younger Shion said, staring at the machine that her older self had helped destroy. "The Song that invites one into madness... Hammer, Allen, Tony... they don't hear it, though." Younger Shion looked up, meeting identical bottle green eyes. "The human brain is made up of about 10 billion cells, one hundred trillion synapses... At birth, brain capacity is only about 350 cubic centimeters. The adult human brain is 300 times that, at 1,400 centimeters. This means that most of the human brain's growth is accomplished outside the womb, after birth. What a child is exposed to during these formative years determines how they are "hard-wired". Like a songbird, some abilities only await a trigger to truly awaken."
Shion's hands clenched into fists slowly. "Are you saying that... I was somehow preprogrammed.. by that?" Shion jabbed an angry finger at the Song and the Center. "That all of this is happening to me because... simply because I was born?"
"Our circumstances are beyond our control. You know that." Her younger image tilted her head, looking vaguely reproving. "We can only live the best way we can, and find our own happiness in the moments where we are able." Little Shion sat in one of the swings on the only swing set left standing on the ruined playground. Starting to swing back and forth gently, she smiled wistfully at her counterpart. "Or are you too busy looking for answers to be happy?"
Shion blinked, surprised at the sudden change of subject. "I..."
"You're going to turn into an office lady. You need to just let loose and play a bit more. Otherwise, you'll turn into a female Allen."
"W-wh--!" Shion sputtered, indignant at being insulted by her own inner child.
"Swing with me, silly!"
Shion sat down on a swing slightly awkwardly. "I don't really think this is..."
Little Shion blew her a raspberry. "Come on, old lady. Play! Betcha you can't catch up to me!"
"Why you little--!" Kicking off determinedly, Shion began swinging, pumping her legs to catch up with the laughing little girl hidden within her. "You just watch me!"
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chaos stretched slowly, reveling as he always did in the simple sensation of sheets against skin. A soft, sleep-garbled giggle made him pause. Shion... He wasn't entirely sure what had awakened in her at the club, but he had been able to seal her, at least partially. Almost experimentally, he ran his hand down Shion's bare back. Beneath her skin, the subtle glow of his power was visible... along with the traces of something else, a pale scattering of lines creating a vague shape that seemed to become clearer the longer he stared at it. Shion stirred, and chaos watched her closely, warily, but the brunette merely snuggled closer, her hair sliding across his arm in a silken fall. He watched her, eyes sliding over the long, lean lines of her limbs, the soft and inviting flush of her lips, but the look in his eyes was not that of a lover. Instead the normally placid aquamarine was troubled, wary.
'What secrets are you hiding, daughter of Eve?' he wondered, lowering his head so that he could see the dark shadow of her lashes against the paleness of her cheeks. She was thinner than she had been when they had first met. The lush curves had become subtler, the softness of a career behind a desk giving way to the firmness of muscle. chaos frowned slightly, even given the stress of the past few months, Shion should not have lost this much weight. chaos's fingers wandered up her ribs, gently stroking over remembered wounds, long healed with the luminous wash of ether, remembering the Shion that had wept in his arms for Cherenkov, despite the prickly man's sins. 'Relinquish your pain unto me,' he murmured into the sleeping brunette's hair, repeating KOS-MOS's words to him on the Elsa. The girl was so fragile, to have done all she had, to have borne so much. chaos lay back, tucking Shion's head beneath his chin, absently brushing his fingers over the chord of her necklace. "I wish you would rest," he whispered quietly, putting his cheek to the top of her head in a comforting gesture, "for both your sakes... and for mine."
As if in response, Shion stirred in his arms, burrowing closer even as she stretched sleep-cramped muscles. "Mmmnnn," she murmured, yawning against chaos's tawny shoulder. "Such a strange dream..." A drowsy smile lightened Shion's face as her eyes opened, the normally jewel-toned green darkened by sleep. "Good morning..."
Shion tilted her face up, taking his face in slowly. chaos smiled gently; Shion obviously wasn't a morning person. "chaos-kun...?" Shion blinked, alarm bringing her awake like a sharp slap to the face. "W-what are you doing--?" Shion peeked under the blankets, and, finding them both in the state of undress she had feared, uttered a sound that could only be described as a mortified squeak. "Oh no no no no..." Shion moaned, burrowing under the blankets in a futile attempt to hide. "I did not get drunk and seduce chaos-kun, I did not... This is a dream, and... ooh, stupid head, stop hurting, it's a dream, a dream, I said!"
chaos chuckled, sliding out of the bed, "I'll find you some painkillers," he offered, padding toward the kitchen.
Shion popped her head out from under the blankets, sputtering. "You can't just go around like that," she waved her hand at chaos's bare back, while she tried valiantly to keep her eyes above the waistline, her cheeks blooming red.
"Why not?" chaos smiled at her serenely from over his shoulder. "I'm comfortable like this, and you've already seen the show."
Shion squeaked again. "B-but--"
"Shion," chaos turned to her, and Shion had to remind herself that you looked at someone's face when they were talking to you. 'Face, face, face, face, face...' she chanted silently. "Did you want me to leave?"
Shion started. "No!" she replied without thinking, and then blinked. She didn't? It wasn't as if she hadn't had a one night stand before. They were rare, yes, but she had had a few since Kevin... But either she, or her partner had left before morning each time, and...
She had no idea why waking up in chaos's arms didn't make her want to run screaming for the hills. She was mulling this over, absently chewing on her lower lip, when chaos came back, a mug and a small bottle of painkillers in his hands.
And Shion was left with nothing but an inadequate "thanks" to ward off an impending awkward silence.
Miyuki is so dead when I get my hands on her...
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A/N: Heh... wow. This is my longest chapter to date, I think. And now I present you, the morning after disaster, complete with naked chaos! If you're wondering, there will be more revelations to come, as Shion, with chaos, confronts some demons, and starts questioning chaos's motives. Why exactly is chaos not freaking out like Shion? Hehehe... Until next time!