SUBTITLES- Lunch Hour

Ed had been standing in the middle of Mustangs office dancing strangely while Roy lectured him on the importance of 'Toadies'

Ed was soon bouncing.

"I gotta go pee... Excuse me..." he left the room. Mustang ran out after Ed and ended up running into Scar on the way.

"Hey boo boo..." Roy said casually and left.

Scar stood confused, "O.K.?" then he shrugged and went into Roys office. (O.O)

-THE BATHROOMS-

Ed grunted as he stood in the mens room waiting for an empty stall.

Suddenly Al came out from one of the stalls wearing Gracias kitchen apron holding a tray.

"Look Ed... MY COOKIES ARE READY!"

He kicked Al aside and ran in the stall.

Hughes came out of a different stall and swiped one of the cookies "this is good..." he said munching on it.

"Chewy, not chalky" agreed Hawkeye coming out of another stall and eating one too.

Hughes threw her out of the mens bathroom.

Fury had been secretly doing the band march when the first leiutenant was suddenly chucked at him and both somehow ended up in the cafeteria and into a table.

Fury was about to comment on the strange position they were in when a bowl on the table came crashing down on his head and (for now) killed him.

Meanwhile in a random hallway Alphonse tried to rescue the cookies Maes kidnapped from him.

"MY COOKIES!"

-HQ Lounge-

Ed, now relieved of his stress and quite famished, snuck into the fridge in the lounge"what looks good tonight... MMM! perogies..." He said joyfully taking the box out, tossing it on the counter, only to watch it fall off of of stuff already littered on the said counter.

"DAMNIT! THIS COUNTER IS MESSY...AGAIN!"

-Meanwhile-

Soon Al had succeeded in rescuing his snatched cookies from the manic Leiutenant Colonel and ran into Envy while counting them "Hi Envy!" he said without a second thought as to why he was there.

Envy growled while flinching one of the cookies and walked off chewing on it. "Someday I'll devour your souls!" he murmered.

-Lounge-

Ed had been running water in the sink.

"GOD! THIS WATER TAKES FOREVER TO HEAT UP!" he complained holding his automail hand under it.

"...wait, I cant feel the water that way." he switches hands

-prolonged waiting for ten minutes-

"THERE WE GO!" he opens the bag, well, he tries to...

"WHY WON"T YOU DIE!" he growled before ripping the bag open and spilling its contents all over the floor

"ARGGG!"

(few yelling moments and a new bag later)

"Now to let them soak..." he said dropping the perogies into a bowl with hot water. suddenly the stuff in the bowl began moving around. "Why is it bubbling!" he wondered while slowly backing away, so far unaware that there were eyes watching him in a cupboard...

-a random and very decorative room-

Alphonse forgot the cookies and had found another object of interest.

"KITTY!" he squeeled playing dress-up with it

"Kittys got an umrella!"Al said happily

"In its ear!" Havoc had been there at the time, and now wished he wasn't

Mustang was playing with an old doll house, earning strange looks from his subordanents. "this things dusty..."

Havoc tried to walk to the other end of the room and tripped over the toy house, crushing it and earning a very venomous look from Roy. "Heh, want a smoke?" Havoc offered hopefully.

Everyone in the room was distracted by a large abstract image outside howling god-awful noises.

"I GOT SOMETHing in my pocket, I got something in my pocket..." they heard Armstrong's singingvoice.

-Lounge-

Ed calmed down when the bubbling ceased and waited a few minutes before deeming it safe to pick up the bowl. "Done soaking!" he said happily while pouring the water into the sink, and watched assaid sinkclogged.

"DAMMIT!"

(two minutes of clap-fixing later)

"Ewww, these are sticky!" he muttered poking at the perogies. "Umm, Microwave instructions!" he quickly skimmed the words on the box. "Three minutes!" hesaid poppingthe bowl into the microwave

"Now time to relax..." he flops on a sofa he transmuted out of the trash from the counter.

"...at least for three minutes" he murmered then looked back at the dark space between the lazy-suzan.

"When the beeper goes off, tell me..."

Envy growled and crawled from the space. "Get it yourself..."

Hughes (who'd contracted a sugar high when he ate the cookies from earlier) ran into thelounge laughing uncontrollably until he tripped over a stool and fell in a trash bin.

"OWW MY FOOT!"

(BEEEEP)

Ed looked at the red flash on the microwave. "Oh they're done!" he went to get them out of the microwave... Until he noticed the Fuerher had already taken possesion of them.

"Owww" he whimpered when the Furher slapped his hand when Ed tried to take them back.

Ed cried as he watched Bradley devour his lunch. "OWWW! ITS HOT!" he yelled. "I swear to god, that one almost made my eye water, and not in a good way either!"

Ed screamed and chased after the Furher when he tried to escape with them.

-Decorative room-

Riza yawned loudly from boredom. "Are we gonna watch TV tonight?" she asked the others then jumped when the door flew open and a beat-up Ed flopped in followed by the Furher.

The Furher tossed a perogi up in the air and pulled the trigger on the gun he held."GHa ha! I blew a hole in the perogi!" he laughed. then he walked up to the wall and moved aside a picture frame, Scar stood inside a hidden hole in the wall shifty eyed. "Here... Have one!" Bradely said handing a perogi to Scar.

"Its staring at me..." scar said looking confused.

"... my stomach is grumbling at me... saying; "FEED ME BITCH!" Ed said complaining about his pilfered lunch, then secured what was left of them from the Furher.

Al dropped the scarred kitten and scratched his helmet "Who thought of the word 'Stomach' anyway?"

Fury (alive now)said sarcasticly "a guy got really bored one day in ancient Greece, 'Instead of calling it Blah Blah Blah, well call it stomach, and throw people off!'

He got strange looks.

Armstrong stopped singing and tapped on the window from outside "What did you say?"

Fury looked at the Major like he was insane. "I didnt say anything, what you talking about!"

Riza had gone crazy with boredom and burped

"SMILE!" she said

she gets funny stares

"What?" she said then noticed it wasnt her they were looking at, and looked behind when she heared screams.

Havoc was drooling something white.

Hughes went rabid with fear. "RABBIES!" he screamed, suddenly the sound of beach ball getting squeezed was heared and he made a retard smile.

Mustang, including the others, covered their faces in disgust "YOU POOTED! YOU BASTARD!"

Ed was still whining about his lunch. "My stomachs still grumbling at me! stop grumbling, you bastard, I already fed you!

Armstrong crawled through the window after his sparkles opened it . "You know what sounds good? rice pudding..."

Hughes snapped out of his stupor and agreed with the Major. "To bad we we dont have the recipe for it." he said sadly.

Fury had begun daydreaming about the thought of rice pudding and started chewing on a spoon he was holding.

Scar had left his hiding spot and stared at Fury. "What are you doing to that spoon?"

Fury's eyes went big and circly "... nothing" he claimed putting the spoon on his head.

"ok your all scaring me!" Scar said jumping out the window and leaving.

clicks were suddenly heard in the background

Hughes swung dangerously on a ceiling fan. "WEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...OOF!"

he got thrown off into a brick wall

Ed grumbled at Maes's stupidity. "He hurt himself again, didnt he?"

Al had his head on upside down for some strange reason"Yep, nope, maybe, i dont know... Im on drugs! WeW!"

"YOU CAN'T BE ON DRUGS!" Ed yelled at Al "YOU DON"T HAVE A BODY!"

Envy ran in happy to have finally discovered a way to take everyones souls. " I SHALL GIVE YOU ALL... COFFIEE BEANS!"

Mustang then achieved the longest silence in this fic so far. "... ... ... ... ... ... I'm lost, i thought we were talkin aboot food earlier?"

Riza looked up sharply. "Aboot?"

Mustang noticed the flaw in his for so long untainted Colonelness. "Ooops,I mean about!"

The Furher looked at him angrily. "Thats it, we are getting you hooked on phonics."

Mustang went blue and had trouble breathing.

"NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!"

Ed meanwhile, tried to keep Scar from following the Leiutenant Colonels behavior from earlier. "HEY, GET OFF THAT FAN BLADE RIGHT NOW!"

"WEEEE fun fun for everyone!"

Scar yelled and was smiling happily...

Until he flew off and hit the brick wall.

Scar lay still on the floor.

"Is he dead?" Ed said looking down at Scar.

Al picked up an empty bottle he seen Scar come in with earlier. "No he's drunk."

Mustang smiled evily. "Cool, Im taking his wallet!"

END...For Now...