There was a chapter that came before this, but I could not find the file. Basically, a group of Vorts almost succeeded in killing off one of the Tallest. And would have succeeded, had not Ren managed to get Kai back to the Massive in time. That's it in a nutshell

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Invader Zim, or the characters of Mah and Ren. I do own Kai however.

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"Lasers."

"Smoke machines"

"Lasers"

"Smoke machines"

"Lasers"

"Smoke machines"

"Lasers"

"Smoke machines"

"Lasers"

"Smoke machines"

"Donuts."

"Where?" Red and Purple asked in stereo, looking around excitedly. Upon noticing that there were none, they looked at Kai. Who was lounging on a couch, reading through reports.

"There are no donuts." Red said accusingly.

Kai looked up and replied, "No, but it seemed to be the only way for you two to shut up. You've been arguing for two hours now. Two freak' in hours! It's getting annoying, aren't they getting annoying?" Kai asked a technician who had the misfortune of walking by the couch.

"Errr…" he started. He knew that he had to answer her, but if he agreed that would piss off the other two Tallest. On the other hand, Almighty Kai was already annoyed, if he disagreed with her, then that would tick her off even more. Either way he was going to piss off someone. The difference would be the numbers. Agreeing meant that there would be two Tallests mad at him. Disagreeing, he would be in favor with the other two, but out of favor with Kai. Which was a scary thought. The vengeance Almighty Kai rained down upon the Vort group that almost killed her was legendary. In the fact that nothing so horrible had ever been done to another living thing by an Irken since Tallest Azure's reign 5000 years ago. It almost made one feel sorry for the group. Almost.

"Errr…." The technician said again, feeling Tallest Red's and Purple's eyes bore into his back.

"Your Tallest asked a question." Red said warningly.

"Yeah, are we annoying?" Purple asked in the same tone of voice.

The technician had no choice, he swallowed hard, opened his mouth and was about to chose his doom when suddenly another voice was heard.

"I brought sandwiches! Are you hungry my Tallest?" Invader Ren asked with a lot of pep. She walked into the common lounge room bearing a fairly large platter of sandwiches. The technician sagged with relief as the platter became the focuse of all three Tallest's attention. Their antennas had perked up at the word "sandwiches" and soon the three were gathered around the platter, which Ren had set down on a table. The technician gave a smile of thanks to Ren and quickly left while the Tallests were still busy snacking.

After a few minutes, when the snacking speed had slowed down enough to where they could actually talk and understand each other, the conversation started up again.

"I'm telling you," Red started swallowing a bite, "Lasers."

"No," Purple replied, "Smoke machines."

Kai growled a little. The snacking had done much to diminish her annoyance and anger, but those were quickly returning again.

"That's it," She said outloud silencing Red's and Purple's argument. "You, Invader Ren, which is better: Lasers or smoke machines?"

Unlike other Irkens, Ren could actually side with a Tallest without running the risk of being shoved out an airlock by the other two. For obvious reasons of course.

"I personally prefer smoke machines, my Tallest." Ren replied.

"What?" Red exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Purple said.

"Alright then, so that's one more for smoke machines." Kai stated.

"But lasers are so much flashier." Red complained.

"But smoke machines are more dramatic, am I right?" Purple asked Ren. She nodded her agreement.

"Humph. That still does not settle it. That's one Irken in this ship that sides with you Purple. We'll see what the others say." Red growled and started to head out the door.

"Enough, Red get back here. There's a better way to settle this than shoving anyone that disagrees with you in prison." Kai said to his retreating back.

Red stopped and looked back at her, "I only did that once." He said. But came back anyway.

"Alright, this is how we settle this. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 435. Whoever is closest, they get to decide the effects. Okay?"

"That seems fair," Purple replied.

Red nodded his agreement.

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I took the name of Tallest Azure from a fanfiction I read sometime ago. I do not recall the title nor the author, but still that name and character belongs to someone else