Midnight Sky

Archive: Padfoot...Snuffles,
Summary: After a particulary painful night, Sirius is concerned for his mate
Pairing: Remus & Sirius
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything character etc. mentioned here not me
Spoilers: POA
Author's Notes: Marauder era (partly). Remus' thoughts are in /

"A very nice Fic, very well written!
I like it because it leaves a lot of things unfinished... which is good for our fantasy... And I like it because it has a low rating. It isn't that I don't read nc-17 or R rated fics, I do read them, but sometimes it's good to read something short and quiet... It is simple and clean (Quoting from a song ny Kingdom Hearts) and it goes deep in the character's mind, even if you don't realize it immediately"
Cony

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Remus opened his eyes, and found himself staring into the eyes of Madame Pomfrey who was leaning over his bed in the Hospital wing.
"How was it last night?" she asked.
Mustering the last remaining drops of energy, Remus racked his brain for the events of the previous night. It had been a difficult change; the wolf had smelt the human blood from the castle and wanted to break out from the Shrieking Shack. Remus moved his arm slightly and winced.
"Ah," Madame Pomfrey continued, "it must have been a difficult one for you - stay still while I mend those broken bones."

Remus closed his eyes again, he never liked looking at his body when he'd recovered from the full moon's effects, almost terrified that the wolf would still be there looking back at him if he dared glance in a mirror.
"All done Lupin," came Madame Pomfrey's voice, "you'll be able to rejoin your classes this afternoon."
Remus tried to move his arm again, and was pleasantly surprised that his bones had been mended. He knew that there weren't many injuries that she couldn't mend, but was still surprised each month that she could fix his so quickly. Lying back in the bed, he tried to think of another reason why he'd disappeared last night. He knew that James, Peter and Sirius would ask where he was, and why he'd missed the morning's lessons, and he was running out of reasons.

Rising slowly from his comfortable bed, Remus made his aching body walk towards the door of the hospital ward. Madame Pomfrey may be able to mend broken bones, but she didn't ever seem to do anything about the aching and bruising. "Aches and bruises are good for you," she'd said to him one morning after the change, and he'd never really worked out why. Slowly he made his way into the Great Hall where the students were assembling for lunch. He had arrived before James and Peter, but Sirius was sitting at the Gryffindor table waiting for him.

"Remus, what happened to you last night, your gran ill again?" came a voice from behind him. Remus turned and saw James enter the Hall, closely followed by Peter. Startled by their sudden appearance, Remus managed to give a small nod, relieved that he didn't need to think of a different excuse this month. Gingerly easing his body into the chair next to Sirius, he winced as his knee gave out, causing him to land sharply in the chair. Remus stared at the table for a few moments, trying to sense if any of his friends had heard the pain, or noticed his abrupt action in sitting down. Looking slightly to his right, he could see Peter engaging James in conversation about the next Quidditch match.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he looked slightly to his left and saw Sirius staring at him. He could normally read the expression of his friends through their eyes, but his emotions and reactions were slowed by the change the previous night, and he decided not to bother deciphering anything. Sirius looked puzzled, but looked away again as the food appeared on plates in front of them.

--

The classes that afternoon were mainly uneventful, apart from James and Peter getting a detention from the Potions Master for their potion appearing florescent yellow instead of a burnt orange shade, then exploding and coating the entire classroom. Remus was glad he had paired up with Sirius for that lesson; he wasn't able to pay enough attention to ensure the instructions were followed exactly and could rely on Sirius for that.

Remus made his aching way up to the Gryffindor common room, hoping to rest for a while before James and Peter reappeared from their detention. Sirius seemed to be in a hurry to get to the Library - Remus was sure it was to play another prank, but wasn't in the mood to join him. Climbing through the Fat Lady's portrait, Remus was pleased to find the room empty, letting him relax in peace for a while.

Voicing his pain, he sank into the soft chair, and jumped as his saw a shadow in the corner of the room. heart sinking, he realised whoever it was would have heard his pain: his "my grandmother is ill" lie could have been discovered as untruthful. His pulse rate quickened as his saw the figure approaching, his chest tightening when he realised the figure was none less than Sirius Black.
"Your gran isn't ill, is she Remus," he whispered, "It's you that's ill..."

Remus looked down at the floor, his face burning with a strange emotion he hadn't felt for years. Was it embarrassment, or anger? Putting his hand on his face, Remus realised the emotion was neither of those: it was guilt that he'd led his friends on, and irritation that they had seen through his elaborate guise of family illnesses.

Kneeling down beside him, Sirius looked straight at Remus who was still staring at the floor. Placing a hand on Remus' arm, he saw his friends face contort with pain.
"Are you like this every time you said your grandmother was ill?" Remus gave a half nod.
"Like every month you disappear for the night?"
Remus' body shook as his drew a sharp breath.
/This is it/ he thought//how long before he disowns me as a boyfriend and I end up getting kicked out of here//

Remus looked slightly to his side, but still at the ground, and noticed a booklet in Sirius' hand. "What's the book?" he whispered, lacking energy to complete a full sentence.
"Oh this?" Sirius shrugged, "something I found in the library." He turned the book slightly so Remus could see the title: "Monthly disappearances - an explanation". Remus recognised it instantly, as his parents had bought a copy of the werewolf handbook after he'd been bitten. Sirius looked at him, and whispered under his breath, "am I right, Remus?"

Remus ran through ideas in his head, but nothing could bring him to lie again to someone he was so close to. Sirius had obviously been working this out for months, and Remus knew he'd have to live with someone knowing of his condition - there were clever students at Hogwarts, although he hadn't thought of Sirius as one of them. He gave a decisive nod, then rubbed his neck wincing once more with the pain.

"Feel free to run, Sirius. I won't chase after you."
Sirius placed an arm protectively over his shoulder, massaging his neck. Remus looked up at him, staring into his eyes for the first time that day.
"I'm not going anywhere. Nothing has changed, Remus. Nothing is different between us. You were always my Remus, you're just now," Sirius paused, as if he was tracking down the correct wording, "I dunno, how about my 'Moony'?"

...

Sighing, Professor Remus J Lupin tapped his wand against the pensieve again, clearing those memories from sight. Walking back towards his trunk, he placed it inside, carefully sealing the trunk and looked out of the window. Hogwarts hadn't changed at all since he was a student: even the Shack was still there, though with the newly discovered Wolfsbane potion, he no longer required it.

Hogwarts didn't, however, have a werewolf and three unregistered Animagi running wild in the Forest once a month, nor did Remus have 'his Padfoot': Sirius had been locked into Azkaban for killing Peter and several Muggles, depriving Remus of his partner for twelve years. On news of Sirius' miraculous escape from Azkaban, Remus had taken the job at Hogwarts, mainly to take his former pack mate from his mind.

Walking back to his desk, he unfolded the Marauder's Map and activated it, smiling slightly at their names appearing on it. Dumbledore was in his office, Snape was prowling around outside the main entrance, and all in all it was a quiet evening. Suddenly, movement on the edge of the map caught the Professor's amber glinting eyes. Peering closer, he noticed there seemed to be three figures moving quickly, all closely packed together. He plotted their movements towards the Whomping Willow and read the names of the figures. Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. He had expected to see them out that night, Harry was worse than James for breaking the curfew rules.

As Professor Lupin moved away from the map, another two figures suddenly appeared, closely mixed in with the previous four. In fact, it seemed that one of them was holding Ron; the other seemed to be leading them into the Shack. Blinking in disbelief, the Professor looked again. The names were there as clear as day, and the map never lied. The professor read the names off under his breath, "Peter Pettigrew" he snarled, "and..." his pulse quickened at the familiar name appearing in front of him "Sirius Black..."