Author's Note: Hey! Well, I am so flattered by all of you. I loved each and everyone of your reviews. I'm getting such good feedback from everyone. I didn't think this would really be all that good. I thought the same thing about "New Technology" and look how that turned out. I wonder if this story will be the same. But I'm ssooooo glad to hear that you're all really enjoying it. Oh, and this chapter is the longest one I've written thus far! Once I started it was hard to stop. A lot happens and more is still to come, so fasten those seat belts.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Part 11: But Now I'm Not So Sure
Five years earlier. . .
"Hello!" Came the sound of Cindy's voice from the answering machine. "You're probably wondering where I am right now and why I never showed up to meet you. Well, I'm here."
"That's specific," Libby commented, sounding a little angry.
"With me," came a very familiar voice.
Jimmy's heart sank at the sound of it. He knew who that was. They all knew who it was.
"Whoa," Sheen replied, his voice almost a whisper as he said it.
"Nick and I are on our way to Hollywood. I know we were suppose to go to Florida together, but. . ." Jimmy could almost hear her shrugging. "Stuff happens." There was a pause and then she added, "You should know."
"What is that suppose to mean?" Jimmy asked.
"I don't know," Libby answered as though he had asked her, but in fact, he had been asking himself. He just didn't know he was saying it aloud.
"You know what, though. I was so stupid for being upset about what you did because I never liked you anyway."
The words cut through him like a knife through melting butter.
"I was using you to get to Nick."
Jimmy could see the smile on her face as she spoke.
"I wanted to make him jealous enough to ask me out," she continued. "Once that was done, I was going to drop you. I'm surprised Nick took this long. I hadn't been expecting it, to tell you the truth. But you know what? I think we all won here. I got Nick and you finally got some experience that didn't involve yourself and your right hand on a lonely Friday night, so let's just say we're even."
In the background Nick could be heard laughing.
Someone gasped, but Jimmy didn't know who it was. Maybe it had been all of them.
"But seriously, Jimmy," Cindy went on, "you were great. To a point. But it had to end somewhere. You didn't actually think we'd be together forever, did you?" She paused as if waiting for an answer and then she laughed. Nick soon joined her.
"Well, bye-bye, Jimmy. Sweet dreams. And tell Carl and Sheen to lay off the llama and Ultra Lord crap. It'll only mess them up in the long run and remind Libby to put on that stuff for that nasty rash of her's. It's really getting out of control. . .but I'm sure you knew that."
There was silence. No one spoke a word. No one dared.
But Mrs. Neutron soon broke the silence. . .or was it Jimmy.
Mrs. Neutron who had appeared from thin air, so it seemed to Jimmy, embraced her son and allowed him to cry on her shoulder as she consoled him. "Shh shh. It's okay. It'll all be okay."
"Is Jimmy okay?" Becca asked. She stood in her Whiny the Pooh pj's.
"He'll be fine. He'll be fine."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Walking down the street was getting extremely boring. He needed to do something, but he was still worried about what Cindy would say. Would she tell Sheen? Would everything be thrown into chaos? Jimmy wanted the answers to these questions, but he just didn't know what else to do. How else could he get Cindy to listen to him? Maybe he just had to make her listen.
He turned, ready to go back to her house. It was night now. Maybe Nick had gone home.
His nervousness grew as he stepped onto her porch. He looked about before ringing the door bell. He took a step back as he waited for someone to answer. There were voices inside and Jimmy knew now that the whole family was home. He looked toward the drive way and noticed the two car for the first time. Nick's car wasn't around anywhere and so he felt he was safe. . .enough.
The door seemed to open in slow motion, but this time he knew better than to expect Cindy. Especially, because now everyone living in the household was home, so when the door opened he wasn't at all surprised that he didn't see Cindy there.
"Hey, Jimmy," Ben greeted. He was surprised to see him. "Can I help you?" He was very polite as he kept his smile on his face.
"Yeah, you can help me," Jimmy replied.
Ben waited patiently, his smile intact.
"Can you get your sister for me?"
Ben's smile slowly faded. "Cindy. . ." His voice was a low whisper.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but this is extremely impor-"
"I understand," Ben said, his smile back on his face, though now it was strained. He left and in a few minutes he returned with Cindy, dreading every step, behind him.
"What do you want?" Cindy asked. This was when Ben said his good-bye, turned, and walked away.
"I just wanted to talk to you about-"
"I know what about," she interrupted. "But I told you. I'm done with that conversation, so good-bye."
"No. Cindy, wait!" He put his foot in the door way, preventing her from completely closing the door.
"I need to know if you're going to tell them."
There was silence and she opened the door, revealing her smirk. "You'd hate that wouldn't you?" she said as she stepped outside. "You'd hate it because everyone would finally be on my side and they'd lose complete faith in you."
He shook his head, disappointment registering in his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Cindy beat him to it.
"You'd hate it most of all because you'd have to face what you really are and your family and friends who supported you, stood by you while this was going on, will be there to witness you fall on your knees. They'd turn away from you, too ashamed and angry to even look at you and finally they'd choose me."
Jimmy was taken aback by this. He felt a painful twinge in his heart as if someone had pinched it from the inside and held it for a moment. But he shook his head and rubbed at his chest to sooth the spot that was now sore.
"This isn't about choosing anyone over anyone else. This isn't about choosing sides, Cindy."
"That's easy for you to say!" she protested. "Everyone is on your side!"
"But this isn't just about us anymore!" he shouted. "You're messing with people's lives!"
Cindy moved back. It was clear that Jimmy's sudden outburst was a surprise to her. She was completely taken aback by his words and it hurt Jimmy to see her suddenly so. . .different. When had this turned so sour?
He sighed. He looked at her apologetically and stepped toward her. She didn't step away from him and he guessed that it was because she was still in shock because it was still visible in her eyes. "This isn't about you and me anymore," he said softly. "We're not the only ones involved." He reached out to touch her face and she didn't pull away. He continued toward her and soon their noses were touching. Jimmy watched as Cindy's eyes grew sad. He could see the tears brim in her eyes and it didn't take long for a tear to find it's freedom. He went to brush it away, but she pulled away from him.
"Yeah," she said. "It's not just about us anymore." She nodded. "It's about you and Libby too."
Jimmy looked at her, shocked himself. He tried to protest, but Cindy wouldn't allow it.
"I'll tell them all about you and her if I choose to. I will make that decision."
"But you'll ruin everything for them!" he argued, panic rising like a tidal wave.
"Then you should've thought about that before you ruined it for me." And with that she slammed the door.
"Cindy, you can't!" Jimmy shouted frantically as he pounded on the door.
"I can and I will!"
Jimmy stepped away. He stood there and prayed to the stars that Cindy would not say a word.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Cindy, honey," came her mother's voice. "Is everything okay?"
"Fine, mother," she answered viciously. She looked down into the water, hating her reflection. She had become so weak and she had prided herself in being so damn strong. She had worked hard to be strong, but she was finding it harder and harder to stay strong in front of Jimmy. There was just something about him that made her feel. . .like it was okay to show her weakness. But it wasn't okay! She had to stay strong. She had to because if she fell apart, then how would she get by? She was alone. There was no one to help her. Not her mother, not Nick, definitely not her father, or Ben. Not Jimmy, not Becca, not Libby, or Carl or Sheen. She had no one but herself and if she lost herself then she'd be completely alone.
"Well, you've been locked in their for a longtime."
"I'm fine!"
"Okay, okay," her mother replied.
Cindy looked at her watch. She had been in the bathroom for over an hour now. She drained the water and opened the door.
This isn't about you and me anymore. . .
With a sigh, she shook her head as she headed for her room. It had never been just about her and Jimmy. Libby was involved from the very beginning.
She stopped at her door, puzzled. She didn't remember leaving the door open ajar. She could've sworn that she had left it closed.
She moved inside cautiously and peered into her room. The lights were off and see could vaguely make out the shapes of the things in her room. But one shape stood out from the rest; a silhouette of a boy by the open window.
"Ben?"
He turned and looked right at Cindy. She noted a change in the way he looked at her. That calm storm was still there, but it was different somehow. . .She just couldn't tell exactly how.
She noticed something in his hand, but he moved it behind his back where she could see it.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said. "It's just a book I started reading."
She was surprised to hear the softness in his voice. She hadn't been expecting it and then she noticed that he seemed to be fighting off his anger.
"No," she said when she recovered. "I meant, what's wrong?"
"Oh." He took a deep breath and walked toward her and stopped when he stood a foot away. He looked up at her with. . .sadness and. . .regret.
She was taken aback by this, but now she knew what had been so different about the way he looked at her.
"What is it?" she asked again, her voice more urgent this time.
"I just. . ." He wanted to say something and he struggled to get the words right, she could tell. "Why!" he suddenly burst out. His anger was alive again. "Just. . .tell me why."
She shook her head slowly. "I don't. . ." She had no idea what he was talking about.
He looked at her and then with disgust on his face, he walked away.
Cindy sat herself on her bed when he was finally out of the room. She watched the doorway as if he'd return, but he did not. She sat there, staring even after she heard his footsteps run down the stairs and out of the door. Even after she heard the front door slam, she sat there, staring.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Becca rushed to the door when she heard the door bell ringing, some how she already knew who she'd find waiting on the other side of the door.
She opened the door and smiled sweetly when she saw Ben.
"Hi," she said softly. "How have-"
Ben thrust an old book in her hands. "Read it," he said without looking at her. "And when you do. . .tell me what you think. Because I don't know what to think."
It was all he said and then he walked away without so much as a good-bye, leaving Becca stunned, confused, and totally speechless. She watched him as he walked down the street and disappear. She then looked down at the book in her hands. A piece of tape was in the top right corner, slanted with the name "Cindy" neatly written on it.
Becca's jaw dropped when she read the name. She looked up again, expecting to see Ben standing behind a bush, laughing at her for believing for a second that it was actually Cindy's journal. But Ben was no where in sight. She looked at the book again and rubbed her thumbs across the smooth, hard cover as if still not believing what she now held in her possession.
She made it quickly inside and closed the door behind her. She then quickly made it to her room and into her closet where the hidden door to the lab was. She removed the clothes and books that lay on the floor and opened the hidden door and slid down into the lab. In seconds she was sitting on the cold floor of the lab and she wasted no more time in opening the journal.
The entries weren't very long and as she skimmed through the pages she could see Jimmy's name and Libby's as well. Quite a few times, actually.
She went to the first page where a poem was written. In neat script the poem read:
"People, places, faces;
My life in words and phrases;
All I've thought and all I've known,
Treasured dreams I call my own;
All I love and all I fear;
Kept safe inside the pages here."
She dwelled on the poem for a moment and reread it a few times wondering where Cindy had heard it.
She turned to the next page where the first entry seemed to be waiting for her.
April 17, 2012
I have come up with the best plan to get Nick Dean
to ask me out. Libby says that it's a little cruel if you think
about it enough, but I just shrugged her off and told her it
would be just fine.
"What if he falls for you?" she asked. "What then?"
"Pah-lease!" I argued. "Like Neutron would ever!"
She looked at me skeptically. "Then what makes
you think he'll even ask you out?"
I grin. "Who can resist me?"
Getting Jimmy to ask me out is the first stage of
what I like to call "Get Nick For Me." And it begins tomo-
rrow with Stage 1: Get Me The Jimmy!
April 19, 2012
I think my plan is working. I caught Neutron sta-
ring at my legs during science, which was why he mixed
up the wrong chemicals and ended up messing the whole
lab up for him and Sheen.
It'll be hard to remove that blue stuff from his
face! Ha! He had to walk around the whole day with this
huge ugly, blue splotch thing on his face. What made it all
so much better was that Sheen's was 10 times worse. It
was amazing!
June 7, 2012
I didn't think it'd take me this long to get Jimmy
to ask me out, geez! I was getting so impatient. And I
was beginning to think he'd never ask me. The school
year is almost over.
You don't know how many times I flaunted myself
by the day to get him to notice me. Ever since that day he
messed up on his lab, he's been so stubborn! And I was get-
ting mad. I just wanted him to ask me out already! Grrr! I
was running out of skirts to wear!
But he finally approached me today. It was when
I dropped my books. He was the only one who offered to help
me, which I thought was sweet on his part. Not on every
one else's.
He was looking adorable with that little blush on
his cheeks and as he handed me my books he said, "I was
wondering if maybe, um, you and could, uh. . .maybe do
something together. A-after school, I mean."
I smiled and I knew that I had finally hooked him.
"I was wondering when you'd ask."
And Stage 1: Get Me The Jimmy! is complete.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Becca sat still in the lab when after she read the last entry. At first she had been so angry at Cindy for being so. . .so cruel as to playing with Jimmy's emotions the way she had. Playing him the way she did. She had him wrapped around her finger an entire year only to make Nick jealous enough for him to ask her out. Once that was done, she'd drop Jimmy. Their entire senior year in 2013 was all a big lie. A huge lie! And it angered Becca to think that Cindy could ever do that, but as she read on it seemed that Cindy had been falling for Jimmy as time went on, though she herself didn't know it.
Becca did remember one specific entry where Cindy said, "I don't think I want Nick anymore. Maybe I'll just stick with Jimmy. He really isn't such a bad guy and he really seems to care for me. I've never felt so good around anyone else. Plus, he's a surprisingly good kisser, which is something I think I will never get over."
But in the end Cindy choose Nick over Jimmy, though from her last journal entry it was obvious she had done it to spite of Jimmy and Libby both for their. . .betrayal.
Sure, Cindy had been completely confused about the strong feelings she held for Jimmy, but she still chose to believe that she was not in love with him and that she still wanted Nick. And so she went with Nick when the time had finally come.
This had obviously explained the way she left and the horrible message she had left on the answering machine. But part of Becca was unsure of what to believe. She didn't think Cindy was lying. The emotions she had written in her last few entries were strong and it seemed impossible that Cindy would just write it in the hopes of someone some day finding it and confronting Jimmy and Libby both for this. . .injustice toward her. Plus, the emotion was too real to be fake.
Then again, it seemed unrealistic to Becca that Jimmy would do such a thing. He had truly loved Cindy. He had told her so himself time and time again and he would never do anything to hurt Cindy. At least, not intentionally. And he loved her still! And Becca had seen him that day of his graduation when he got that message. He was crying like she had never seen him cry before. He looked broken and she knew he had been. He had been very broken and she knew that could not have been an act.
But who was she to believe? Was it even possible that they could both be telling the truth?
The tears came. From frustration, anger, confusion, sadness, regret. It all seemed to crash down on her and she wasn't sure if she could handle it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cindy had been pacing around the house when the clock struck 10 o'clock. Her parents had gone out to look for Ben who had been out since at least eight. She was suppose to stay at home just in case he returned, but she didn't think she could stay in the house while he was out there. She was worried about him and she was feeling guilty because she knew that she had some how been the reason for his leaving
When there was a knock on the door she dashed toward it and swung the door open, but Ben wasn't the one standing there on the porch. It was Becca, looking. . .just as Ben had before he left. There was a struggle going on inside her and it was obvious from her eyes. She was pained by the dilemma that reeked havoc on her mind.
"I want to say. . ." It was clear that she had no idea how to get into words what she wanted to say, but she was trying her best. "I. . ." Tears began to fall down her cheeks and Cindy found herself frightened. This tough, little girl who appeared so strong and determined was coming apart at the seams before her eyes. "I'll try. . .to be. . .nicer to you from now on."
She sniffed and for a moment Cindy didn't know what to think, but then she nodded when she realized what was going on. "Jimmy told you to come here and tell me that, didn't he?"
"No!" Becca shouted, anger bursting from her throat. "He didn't tell me to do this. I'm doing this on my on, so the least you can do is appreciate it!"
She seemed unstable as Ben had and Cindy wondered what it was that these two knew that made them change their minds about her.
Cindy nodded and Becca wiped away her tears and nodded in return. "Okay." With that she walked away, mumbling something Cindy could not hear under her breath.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When Becca returned home she could hear Sheen, Libby, and Carl in the living room. Jimmy's voice floated in there as well and the anger coursed through her veins as she heard them laughing. She slammed the door. The laughing stopped and as soon as she stepped into the livingroom, they were all looking toward her.
"What's wrong?"
"Jimmy, you-"
"Is it true?"
Becca turned. Marcy stood by the stair case, Cindy's journal in her hand. There were tears streaming from her eyes.
"Marcy? What-?"
"Is it true?" she asked again and Becca's heart began to pound. Her it comes, she thought, the tears running down her own face. "Did you cheat on Ms. Vortex with Ms. Folfax?"
Jimmy's eyes opened wide and Libby froze in her seat.
"What?" Sheen asked as he chuckled nervously. "Jimmy, what is she talking about?"
"In high school," Marcy went on.
"Did you, Jimmy?" Becca asked, the emotion overwhelming. She hoped he'd say no. She hoped that he'd have explanations and theories as to why and how this could have ended up this way. But he stood there looking at her, speechless. Speechless because he's just been found out, she thought. Her heart broke and she shook her head as the tears continued. "How could you?" she whispered before running away to her room.
"Becca, wait!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That night after everyone left, Jimmy sat outside of Becca's room. He talked to her, but when he realized that she wasn't in her room but in the lab, he stopped talking. He couldn't follow her into the lab. She had changed the password to enter at the last minute. He checked himself and all the other entries to the lab were closed off to him.
Goddard walked his way and rested his head on his lap as he whimpered. Jimmy patted the metal dog.
He closed his eyes and let his head fall against Becca's door, but his eyes flew open when he felt the smack of something on his chest. He flinched, startled. He looked in his lap where a book fell open to a page. It read:
"People, places, faces;
My life in words and phrases;
All I've thought and all I've known,
Treasured dreams I call my own;
All I love and all I fear;
Kept safe inside the pages here."
He looked up to see Marcy. "Read that," she said. She looked hurt and upset and so torn. "I don't know what to believe, but I won't be so trusting anymore. At least not with you. I-I'm sorry for this, but. . ." She looked down as she wrung her hands. He could see a tear fall to the carpet. "I was just floored when I read it. I was so upset, so uncertain, so. . .so very. . .appalled to think it could've been you. You were my idol, Mr. Neutron." She shrugged. "But now I'm not so sure."
She walked away then and Jimmy looked away. How could this have happened?
Goddard poked at the book in his lap. "Bark, bark, bark."
"Not now, Goddard."
The mechanical dog sat on it's hind legs as the green screen appeared on it's chest. "It's a journal."
Jimmy looked in his lap.
"Read it. It could explain a lot."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How exciting!" Mrs. Neutron exclaimed. "Three more days and your reunion will be here!"
"Woo," Jimmy said monotonously.
Judy and Hugh looked at one another and then at Jimmy.
Judy nodded toward Jimmy and Hugh nodded in return, understanding his wife completely. "What's the matter, JimJim?"
Jimmy shook his head.
"I could help you out, you know?" Hugh urged. "If you told me what was wrong. I'm good at solving other people's problems. Aren't I, sugar booger?"
"That's right, honey."
"You see!"
Jimmy didn't reply and soon Becca was down in the kitchen. She didn't speak at all. She took a waffle and left.
"Aren't you going to sit and eat?" Judy called after her. Becca waved her hand and walked out of the house. Jimmy stood abrptly and followed Becca out.
"What's going on?" Judy asked her husband.
"I don't know."
They moved toward the front door and watched as Jimmy tried talking to his sister.
"Will you listen to me!"
Becca turned around to face him.
"I can explain it all," he said. "It's really not what you think. Cindy was-"
"And you were stupid enough to believe she actually liked you!" she shouted. "This would've never happened if you hadn't have given into her selfish games!"
"So it's all my fault?"
"Yes!" Becca shouted. "First, you fall for her tricks. Second, you mess around with her best-"
"That is not true!" Jimmy protested.
Becca shook her head. "Say what you want," she said and walked away.
Jimmy stood there watching her.
"Um. . ." Hugh began.
"Supposedly Jimmy cheated on Cindy," Judy answered.
"Ooh," Hugh replied. He watched Jimmy again and then turned to his wife another question on his tongue.
"I think back in high school."
"Ooh."
"Why won't you believe me?" Jimmy said and Becca stopped. "I've never lied to you before. Why would I start now?"
Becca turned to him, tears in her eyes. "I. . .don't know. . .w-who to. . . believe," she said in a broken voice. They both stood there for a long time, looking back at one another and Judy couldn't help, but point fingers. Somehow she knew Marcy was involved.