Author's Note: Hi. Well, I forgot to mention last time that the poem you read in the last chapter was not mine. I don't know who wrote it. Believe it or not, I found that poem on my sister's diary. She bought it like that, with the poem on the cover in this little spiral thing. It was cute and I liked it and made it part of Cindy's journal.
And one reviewer mentioned something about an ending to my story. Lol! Well, there is an ending and I'm sorry to say that my story is slowly coming to an end. I know because I'm the writer (lol, duh!) and I always intended to end the story shortly after. . .some. . .other stuff. . .I have planned. LOL! Sorry, but getting to the end has been fun, right? It's not over yet, so don't worry too much about it. I honestly don't know how many chapters are left because I haven't written them out yet, but that isn't something to worry about, right? Right.
One more thing, another reviewer mentioned that they really wanted to see how Libby and Sheen dealt with all of this. Well. . .that's in here. . .so enjoy!
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Part 12: How Could I Ever?
"Oh, no. Please put those over on the other side of the room. Thank you very much."
"Uh, Betty."
The kind brunette turned around to a blonde with black rimmed glasses. "Do you want the center pieces in the middle or at the end of each table?"
Betty cocked her head and clasped her hands together. "Please, Veronica. This isn't the time for joking. If I'm going to help you put this together, we all need to work hard."
The blonde rolled her eyes. "I was just trying to lighten the mood. You're working too hard and it's not even your high school reunion."
"Betty?"
Betty turned and a smile spread across her lips. "Well, if it isn't Jimmy Neutron." She placed her hands on her hips and looked at him. He smiled. "How have you been?" she said as she embraced him.
With a sigh and a shrug he said, "Been better."
She looked at him with concern and curiosity.
"Can we just get this all over and done with and go home?"
Betty looked over Jimmy's shoulder. A familiar blonde haired girl appeared through the doors.
"Cindy Vortex," Betty said. "Is that you?"
"Apparently," Cindy replied. She removed her sunglasses.
"I'm glad you two made it," Betty replied as she greeted Cindy.
"You two?" Cindy questioned. She looked over Betty's shoulder. "Neutron!"
"Vortex!" Jimmy mocked. He turned away, there was anger in his eyes, which confused Betty and apparently Cindy too.
"I needed some extra help and I thought I'd call Jimmy and Veronica, my cousin and your old friend, gave me your home number. I didn't think it'd be a problem for you and Jimmy to work together. I thought-"
"Well, you thought wrong," Cindy interrupted.
"Do you ever shut up and listen to people?" Jimmy shot back.
Cindy was taken aback as Betty looked from one to the other. She had obviously missed something big and she didn't think either one of them would volunteer the information. With a sigh Betty shook her head.
"I just wanted some help, but if it's too much for either one of you I could-"
"No," Cindy replied quickly. "I'm not a quitter."
"Just wait until you get started," Jimmy said under his breath.
"What was that?" Cindy asked, approaching him.
"I said, 'wait until you get started'." He said each word clearly for her to understand and hear.
"Are you implying that I'm-"
"A quitter?" Jimmy asked. "I guess I am. Your sharp." With that he turned away, leaving both Cindy and Betty stunned.
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They had been helping Betty for about an hour and it didn't seem like anything was being done. There were constant arguments about stupid things between Jimmy and Cindy. Neither one of them could finish what they had started and instead of improving the place, they ended up making things worse. It definitely felt like high school again. At least her first two years of high school.
First, Ben had been nice to her out of no where. Second, Becca came by to tell her she'd be nicer to her from now on. And now, Jimmy was fighting with her again. It was almost as if he had given up on ever getting back with her. They had all changed their minds about her, treating her the opposite way of how they started treating her since she returned to Retroville. She wondered what it was that made them change their minds.
Jimmy's change had disturbed her most. He was so nice before and now it seemed like he was holding a grudge. What was he blaming her for? Could it have anything to do with what, she knew, it was that Becca and Ben knew?
"Um, why don't we all take a little break," Betty suggested.
Cindy put down the center piece she held in her hands. She was surprised when she received the phone call. She remembered how Ben held it up to her, informing her it was "some girl named Betty." She didn't even know Betty knew her name let alone her phone number.
Jimmy walked passed her without saying a word and curiosity got the best of her. She walked after him, but came to a stop when he approached Betty.
"Can we go somewhere?" he asked her.
With a sweet smile on her face she nodded as she said, "Sure."
Jimmy nodded. "Good. I. . .need someone to talk to right now."
"Of course," Betty replied sympathetically as she took his hand in her's.
That could've been you, a voice inside replied. Cindy shook her head, trying to get the thought out, but she couldn't help but think that maybe that voice was in some way right. That could've been her. But you did the right thing when you left him. He cheated and he deserved what he got. With a sigh she agreed with herself, though she could neither explain where the twinge in her heart came from as she watched Jimmy and Betty walk out together nor could she figure out exactly what it was.
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Becca sighed as she placed her head on Ben's shoulder and watched the children at play in the park. She found herself jealous of them for being so young. It wasn't that she wasn't a kid herself. She still was, but now she knew better in some ways. She knew better than these children did. She knew more than they could even comprehend at their age and she wanted to be that young. Young enough to still not know what was going on and not mind instead of not knowing what was going on and yet at the same time knowing what was going on, but having to be confused and torn about it all. Did that even make any sense? She was so torn and confused that not even her thinking seemed straight.
She hated each one of them at that moment and with a scowl she lifted her head and brought herself to her feet. She walked away and headed to the basketball court where the shadows from the building and trees danced about in the breeze. Ben didn't seem to notice and so she lay herself down in the middle of the court and closed her eyes, wishing that she'd be taken away.
She felt someone lay down beside her and knew who it was.
Ben's hand took her's and she squeezed it, praying that he could melt her concerns away and when his hand gently squeezed her's back, she realized that he wished for the same from her. That was when her tears escaped as the sobs freed.
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"So now Sheen isn't talking to you?" Betty asked.
Jimmy shook his head. "He won't answer any of my phone calls. Libby won't either. Not even Carl. He won't even open his door to me."
"What about Cindy?"
Jimmy looked away. "I hate her."
Betty looked at him. "I thought you loved her. Last time I saw you in Retroville you told me-"
"I do," he interrupted. "I do love her. With all my heart and soul. I love her with a passion that goes beyond my passion for science. Beyond any known star. But. . .I hate her for being so cruel. For playing with my emotions the way she did in high school. I can't get over the fact that it was true. It was all so true. What she said to me in that last message she left me on the day of our graduation."
"What she told you?"
"She said that she only went out with me because she wanted to make Nick jealous enough to ask her out."
"Nick Dean?"
Jimmy nodded. "And once that was all over and done with, she'd dump me. At first I thought she was saying it to spite me for something, you know. But then Marcy-"
"The girl living in your house."
Jimmy nodded again. "She gave me Cindy's journal. How she got it, I don't know, but I read it last night. I read it all last night. She mentioned this stupid plan in almost every entry and she seemed impatient and sometimes she wouldn't mention 'the plan' at all. And when she didn't, it seemed as though she was really happy with me. It seemed like she didn't want to be with Nick anymore, but then that last entry was brutal. It was emotional, but it was brutal with everything she was saying about me. She put me down more times than I have ever put down myself. I can understand why. She thought I was really cheating on her. She really believed it. And now, even Becca believes it. I think she read it too."
"But did you?" Betty asked. "Did you cheat on her?"
Tears slid down his face as his heart swelled with agony. He could feel the lump in his throat and his eyes sting as he looked at her. "How could I ever?"
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It didn't take much longer for Betty to call it a day and allow everyone to go home again. And it didn't take Cindy very long to get home. She didn't want to be there anymore, pretending that this high school reunion of their's was a good thing. A time for happiness when in fact there was no happiness. Everything was horrible.
When she returned home, she found Ben on the couch. He sat with the remote in his hand.
"I thought you'd be out," she said as she sat beside him, wondering why he was staring at a blank screen.
He shrugged. "I came home early. Becca couldn't stand to be near me anymore."
Cindy looked at him, shocked to hear his words. She shook her head.
He turned to her. That calm storm that was always present in his eyes, was no longer there, but she noticed nothing in it's place, which horrified her. No sadness or regret. Nothing. It was as if he'd gone completely numb of all feelings. "I can't give her the comfort I was able to give her before because. . .I'm not strong enough to comfort myself."
He looked down at the remote in his hand and Cindy found herself frightened in a way she had never been before. Ben and Becca were practically inseparable when Cindy had first come back to town and now they couldn't stand to be near one another. How was that possible?
"Ben, what's going on?"
He didn't answer right away. "I read it," he said simply.
"What did you read?"
"Your journal from high school."
Cindy's mouth opened wide. She had thought she lost it on her way to Hollywood with Nick. It had never occurred to her that she could've left it behind. "Where did you find it?" she asked, the anger suddenly rising in her voice. "And what the hell made you think that you could read such a personal thing!"
"I'm sorry!" he shouted.
She leaned toward him, ready to punish him in anyway she saw fit. "You little-"
"When Jimmy came over yesterday," he said just before Cindy could advance any further, "to talk to you, I went up into the attic to get away from you. I didn't want to see your face."
Cindy couldn't help but feel hurt by the comment, but Ben continued without noticing his sister's sudden pain.
"I was looking through some old junk. Books I read back in first and second garde and some of my old clothes that mom never gave away and I came across a box hidden in the back with your name on it. I recognized the writing as your's. I opened it. I found stuffed animals, old rose petals, and other withered flowers inside. Even empty chocolate boxes and a neckless or two and a bracelet. Little pieces of paper with notes on them, letters, notebooks with Jimmy's name on them. CD's, movies, posters, and some weird looking thing that I couldn't figure out. I found clothes and at the very bottom I found your journal. I didn't really know what it was. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I read it anyway. I wanted to get some dirt and use it as blackmail or something."
He remained silent almost as if he was waiting for Cindy to yell at him, but she sat still, speechless. She turned to look at him again and this time his eyes met her's as they brimmed with tears. "I never knew the truth. At first I was so angry with you for playing with Jimmy like that. I knew you were bad, but I didn't think you were horrible. But as I read on I realized how much you cared for him, even though you still choose to believe you were playing around." He looked away for a moment and sniffed. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. She never cared for Jimmy. That wasn't true.
He looked at her again. "When I read about Jimmy and Libby in the hall way, I thought that it was a mistake, you know? That maybe you misinterpreted something. It was possible!"
Cindy looked at him carefully, holding back her emotions.
"But then when I read about how you went to visit him and found him with Libby, talking about you. . .I was so. . .angry with him and her! But I didn't know what to think. I was so confused. I went to Becca and gave here the journal. She read it and-"
"You gave it to Becca to read!" Cindy exclaimed.
Ben ignored her outburst, continuing as of she had never said a word, "-we met in the park today after school. She hoped I could be able to tell her everything would be alright. She was expecting me to make it all better for her, like I was able to before." He shook his head. "But I failed her. I couldn't do what she wanted because. . .I'm unsure of myself." He looked down. "But you know something?"
Cindy's anger subsided as she looked back at her brother. "She failed me too because I was expecting her to make it all better like she had always managed to do for me."
Cindy cautiously reached out and patted his back. She wasn't sure how he'd react, but it sure as hell surprised her when he threw his arms around her.
"I can never face her again, Cindy. Reading that journal and finding out the truth put us in a bad position and our friendship is on the line!"
Jimmy's words came back to haunt her at that very moment. . .
You're messing with people's lives. . . .you'll ruin everything for them!
And now she knew that he was telling the truth. Even though she had not spoken a word to anyone but Jimmy about what he had done, people found out and now they were hurt because of her. Her journal, her words had caused everything to fall apart and she never thought she'd hear herself confess that she wanted everything back the way it had been before this.
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Mr. Vortex sat beside his daughter while she watched t.v. Things fell unbearably still even with the t.v. on.
"Ben told me everything," he said. "Though I'm not exactly sure what to believe myself because he wasn't sure himself. But he's upset." He sighed. "So am I."
Cindy turned to look at him. She didn't realize how much she had actually missed his voice until that moment. She wanted to hug him, to thank him, but she wasn't sure it would be right.
"I would've never guessed Jimmy to be the type who'd. . ." He turned to her and shook his head. "But it may have served as a punishment in your case for playing with that boy the way you did."
Cindy's confusion rendered her speechless and now she was unsure whether or not the tears in her eyes were from anger or from the gratitude she had felt only moments before.
"I don't like Jimmy for doing that to you, if that's what he really did, though it's hard to believe otherwise. But I'm very disappointed in you for treating him the way you did and then leaving him that horrible message on his answering machine. And I'm very disappointed in the fact that you felt you had to leave us all without so much as a good-bye when you left him."
He looked away and stood. "I can't believe this myself, but I'm more disappointed with you than I am with Jimmy." And with that said, he walked away.
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Nick stood outside. "Hey, Cindy!" he said to himself. "I was just wondering if you'd like to do something tonight."
He paused and thought about it and shook his head.
"Yo, Cindy, what's up?"
He shook his head again.
He nodded at the door as he said, "What's up?" as cool as he possibly could and oh, was he cool.
The door opened and Cindy stepped out, startling him.
"Cindy, hey!" he said quickly.
"Hi," she said.
"Uh, listen, I was just in the neighborhood and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."
She looked at him, clearly unsure.
"A new dance club opened up two towns down that way," he said as he pointed down to his right. "They say it's suppose to be good and a lot of people are going. I thought it'd be nice if we could go together. You really need to get out of the house and live a little."
She looked upset, but he didn't want to ask any questions. It would only make her think about it more. But he still couldn't help but worry about her. She stayed at home most of her time and most of her time spent at home was spent in her room, behind the locked door, dwelling on things that she need not dwell on.
"I don't think so," she said. "I just can't right now. I know if I do go with you, you'll ask me out again."
"So what?"
She shook her head. "Nick, we've been down this road before. I like you, but I don't love you. I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. That's why I broke it off between us and you're not making this break up any easier on either one of us by coming here and trying to get back with me!"
"I wanted to spend some time with you," he protested. "Is that so bad?"
"Yes!"
He stayed silent.
"God, Nick!" she continued. "I just want this all over with, okay? I broke it off with you. We are over. Done with. Got that? So stop coming here trying to get me to go out with you because I know where you want it to lead and I know where I don't want it to lead."
She slammed the door in his face and that was it.
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Jimmy was relieved when he received Carl's phone call. He didn't think Carl would ever call him again after what had happened the night before, but he was thankful to hear Carl on the other line and he was surprised how ready he was to accept Carl's invitation to go with him to a new night club that was said to be opening that night only two towns east of them.
As he made it out of his room and toward the stairs he stopped upon hearing Becca's voice in their mother's room.
Hugh was asleep as Becca sobbed. "I think it's over between Ben and me," Becca said.
"Oh, honey, why?" Judy asked soothingly.
"Because we can't be around each other anymore. Ever since we read Cindy's stupid journal we've. . .been weird with each other. At first, it was alright, but at the park after school. . .he just seemed so out of it. I understood why. I mean, he was thinking about the whole Jimmy and Cindy thing. He's just as confused as I am and I guess I was putting so much pressure on him and expecting too much because I feel like he failed me as the friend I knew him to be. He couldn't even comfort me!"
"Shh shh."
Becca's sobs continued. "But. . .but I failed him too because when he needed me. I couldn't. . .I just couldn't comfort him. We both needed to take so much but neither one of us had anything to give and now I think that it's over. We can't even look at each other anymore. I don't know what to do and I've never felt so alone before. And I'm still confused about Jimmy and Libby. I want to believe he didn't do it, but it's hard when you have evidence. But then again Cindy is. . .she's just. . .I don't know."
"I know, honey," Judy replied. "I know how hard this is. It's hard for me too. I just can't fathom any of this."
"Fathom?"
Judy laughed. "Did you forget your vocabulary," she teased sweetly.
Becca chuckled softly. "I guess I did. It's the stress."
Judy laughed as Becca gave a grin. "It means 'come to understand'. I can't come to understand any of this."
"Me either," Becca whispered and she sighed and through the crack in the door, Jimmy could see Becca snuggle into Judy's embrace and close her eyes, hoping that sleep would take her.
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"Sheen, will you, please just listen to me?"
Sheen continued to walk toward the entrance of the club. He couldn't believe Carl had invited Libby to come along. 'It'll just be us,' he says. But noooo. Libby has to come too. What next, Jimmy will come striding along by?
"Sheen, please," Libby pleaded. He could hear the tears and he closed his eyes, forcing himself to not turn to her. His weakness was seeing Libby crying and if he turned around and saw her, it'd be it. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep from holding her. He just had to ignore her no matter how much it pained him to do so.
He was thankful when he saw Carl's chubby face by the entrance. With a smile, he waved and Carl waved in return. Sheen's smile soon faded.
As the crowd spread out, Jimmy came into view and Sheen stopped dead in his tracks. He barely noticed when Libby bumped into him from behind.
"Sheen?" Libby called.
He was beginning to turn around, but he realized what he had been about to do and turned away again. He walked to Carl.
"What is he doing here?" He nodded toward Jimmy. "I thought you said it'd just be us?"
Carl smiled nervously. "I thought it was time to get the group together and put the past behind us."
"Carl!" Sheen scolded. "I can't believe you!"
"I should've expected this from you," Jimmy put in.
"Shut up!" Sheen shouted. "You don't speak! You've been doing a great job of that for five years, so I'm sure you wouldn't have much trouble with this small request."
"What!" Jimmy yelled. "And that sounded like a demand not a request!"
"I said 'shut up'!" Sheen shouted again as he pushed Jimmy.
Jimmy stared at him, not knowing exactly what happened, but his eyes soon narrowed. "I don't want to hurt you, Sheen."
"Too late," he said and he pushed Jimmy again.
"Don't make me hurt you, Sheen."
"You already did!" he screamed, making everyone in the crowd stare. He could feel his body shake with every emotion."God! I can't even look at you without wanting to throw up! I thought you were my friend, Jimmy. My best friend. But you turn around and sleep with the woman I'm about to marry!"
"It's not like a did it yesterday!" Jimmy argued. "Look. I know you're upset with me. You have a right to be. But you have to listen to me when I tell you it wasn't when you two were dating."
"What difference does it make!"
"It makes a big difference, Sheen!" Libby protested. "Believe him. And me. We're not lying to you when we say-"
"Just. . ." He couldn't finish. "Just. . .please. . .please, go away."
Libby teared. "I love you."
Sheen looked down. "I love you too," he said to which Libby smiled. She opened her arms to hug him, but he pulled away. "But I can't be with you. Not knowing this." He began to walk away but stopped when he bumped into someone. "I'm sorry."
"So am I."
He looked up, recognizing the voice.
It was Cindy.
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It was a mess. The people, the party, the circumstances. It was a all one big mess and Cindy couldn't believe she was a part of it. She didn't know how, but Carl had managed to calm Sheen down and get him into the club. It only took an hour for him to convince Sheen to stay while Libby and Jimmy waited inside.
Cindy stayed with Carl. She was still amazed she had come in the first place. At first, she thought. . .actually, she really had no idea what to think when Carl called her. Well, she was expecting him to say something to her. Yell at her, maybe.
Once inside, she stuck to Carl like a moth to a flame. She didn't want to risk having to talk to anyone else. What had surprised her most of all, though, had been that fact that Jimmy and Libby both stayed away from each other. She had expected that if they were to stick with anyone in the world with their secret out, they'd stick with each other. But they didn't even talk at each other let alone look at each other. Maybe they were finally ashamed of what they had done. Maybe it was finally starting to all sink in.
Carl sighed. "Maybe you and Jimmy should talk," he suggested.
She looked at him, disgusted with the idea. "And maybe I shouldn't."
Carl shook his head. "Don't you think you need to hear his side of the story?" Carl looked at her, hopeful.
Cindy shook her head, disappointed herself. Couldn't he see that he'd just deny it? It wouldn't be worth it. "He did it, Carl. And Libby is his witness."
"But think about it," he urged. "I mean, really think about it."
She looked at him. He just really wanted everyone to make up again. He wanted to be the one who could say in the end, "I told you so" and he wanted to be the one to put together the pieces of the broken friendship. But it wasn't easy and Cindy doubted that they would ever be the same.
"It's not like Jimmy to cheat on someone," Carl went on. "He's loyal. He's caring and when there's something he loves he's passionate about it. Like his science."
Cindy considered this a moment. She couldn't help but agree, but the truth was it did happen and it had been Jimmy. He did what he did and that was it.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Carl beat her to it.
"Jimmy loved you too much to hurt you that way back then. He still loves you now. More than he did then." He looked at his hands. "I thought he did it too, when I first heard. I couldn't answer his phone calls or Libby's either. I couldn't look at either one of them. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that neither one could do that to you. Okay, yeah, maybe they did, but not when you were with Jimmy. Maybe they weren't even proud of it and kept it a secret for a good reason. It would make sense. Libby was to marry Sheen and Jimmy was to be his best man. It would ruin it for everyone if the truth were to come out." He said this more to convince himself than to convince Cindy, but Cindy found herself falling back into a memory.
Jimmy stood in front of her, panic in his eyes and his voice as he said, But you'll ruin everything for them!
"I mean, Libby loved you like a sister, Cindy," Carl said as he looked at her. "And Jimmy. . .well, Jimmy was in love with you. Head over heals in love and everyone could see it."
This made Cindy blush lightly. She took a sip of her soda and looked away, to hide it.
There was screaming and Cindy looked up. She could see a crowd forming around Sheen and. . .Jimmy!
Sheen, with tears in his eyes, was pointing and shouting at Jimmy as Jimmy stood there and took every insult.
"Oh, my," Carl said as he got up. Cindy quickly drank the rest of her soda, slammed down the glass, and went after Carl. Libby emerged through the crowd and tried to pull Sheen away, but he would not budge.
"Please, stop it!" Carl shouted as he came between them just in time to get a blow to the face. He pulled back, covering his eye as he bent over.
Sheen looked at him. "Carl!" he shouted, his voice half way between horrified and angry.
"Are you okay?" Jimmy asked.
Carl nodded as he looked at him with a smile.
"That hit wasn't meant for you, Carl," Sheen said. "And if you don't move away-"
"Sheen," Carl said as he shook his head. "Please. Don't."
Cindy subconsciously stood beside Carl as she placed an arm around him, never noticing that she had gotten in between Carl and Jimmy.
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From across the room Nick watched, his jealousy growing. He scowled with a low growl as he watched.
So that's why she didn't want to come with me, he thought as he looked at Cindy. She seemed to be standing very close to Jimmy and she didn't seem to mind at all. She wanted to spend time with Neutron.
He slammed his glass down. I'm not going to stand for that! She dumped him to be with me, so she can't dump me to be with himHe's the one she didn't want to be with!
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Oooooh! Much excitement on the way!
Jess