Chapter 9: The Crusade into Hell

This began the phase in which Tamahome did not think of what he was doing. He made many multiple AIM names and harassed Kagome with IMs asking why. She responded sometimes with words of hate and with threats. Why had she changed? What had he done?

Sometimes she told her friends it was because of rumors that made it to the freshman. How could that be? He never talked about her to any of his friends in fear something like that would happen. He knew she liked to talk about him and even told everyone that they had kissed. It was probably something she said but was blaming me. Maybe the two freshman girls that came up to him that one day twisted around something she said because Tamahome had no connection what so ever with any of the Freshmans.

Sometimes it was because he was too persistent. That was a lame issue cause all she had to do was tell him that and he would stop. She only would tell that to her friends. But then again if its about persistence why did she ignore him in the first place?

She then said it was because he went behind her back to her friends to find out why. He only talked to his old girlfriend about this so if anyone else found out it was her fault.

She also said that he was acting like a stalker by reading her away message and her Xanga. This he thought was just plain dumb. He always told her about the negative effects of Xangas. If she posts her life on the Internet of course people are going to see it. She even posted the town she lived in and the school she goes to go it. She should be afraid of real stalkers and not Tamahome. Using that info they could find her easily. Maybe thats what she wanted, someone to come and get her. Maybe she wasn't thinking. One site she had showed the exact location of her house on a map. Tamahome accidentally signed up for this one too because he got invited by an email but when he found out it tracked your computer IP to find out your house address he shut it down. Kagome's was still up so she was in danger of a real stalker.

Tamahome one day created a new name and talked to her disguised as someone else. They talked normally and he asked about himself and she said she was scared that they couldn't be the same way that they were in the summer. Tamahome thought about this. The only thing holding them back was the back she was ignoring him. Even now he was willing to being her close friend. That's all he wanted, friendship with a girl that mattered to him.

He would check her Xanga to find out many things. She had feelings for another guy named Inuyasha and talked about him constantly. She also spoke of suicide, which contradicted everything he felt about her being strong. She had become weak minded. So many people care about her and she wanted to kill herself. She was losing it. Tamahome was glad he had a reason to keep on living that he would never lose. That driving desire to do what his goal was, no matter if it was right or wrong, he would never give up on his goal. As long as the voice inside of him drove him to fight he would never give up. This determination allowed him to do almost anything.

He also took offense to one quote she posted on it. That quote was from a guy she was talking to and what he said did not matter. What did matter was at the end of his sentence he said teehee. He actually found this funny. All the guys she cared about said teehee. But still it hurt that it was wrong when he said it but that guy was allowed to.

Even through this period in which Tamahome was trying to find out the reason for the hate, he never once said anything bad about Kagome. Kagome on the other hand was saying a lot of stuff about him.

One day he went to the library to do some research and decided to check out the quote board because he was bored. One quote caught his eye, "Strong people choose life and do not belittle another person, weak people choose death and threat and tries to bring down other people."

This quote made Tamahome think. It was right, Kagome was being weak. All she was doing was running away from her problems. She also only tried to belittle him and even made death threats to him. Tamahome felt bad that Kagome had reduced herself to being just a weak minded person. Especially with the suicide stuff, that was just plain weak. She was even running away from life. There is so many good things in life and she is just too confused with her emotions right now to know what to do. He felt bad that she wouldn't let him help her through this hardship. Maybe she was just scared she had someone that cared for her and had actually truly fallen in love with her. He remembered that she was like this last year during her period of hardship.

He thought about how he thought that she would be strong enough to be friends after the breakup. She also talked about wanting to forget everything. Tamahome knew that was impossible. You can not forget everything we did together, he was her first kiss.

He also noticed that fact that when ever she saw him in school she made a big deal about avoiding him. If she was smiling to her friends, one glimpse of him took that beautiful smile away. She was hurting herself more by ignoring him. He was perfectly fine with looking at her and walking by her. He didn't have fear of her like she feared him. She truly couldn't even make more than one second of eye contact. If she kept that up she would never forget about him even if she wanted to. The fact remains though that she would not be able to forget him no matter what she did because he had impacted her life to greatly.

He was glad though that he manged to never make fun of her during this time. He had proven himself strong. But that was not want he wanted. He wanted harmony between him and Kagome.

It must be that new Emo phase that was going around the school. She was probably just looking for an identity, why else would she set herself up to fit into a group? She was changing her lifestyle to be like an Emo person. All the words out of her mouth now were insults to people. He guessed she felt big now that she could make fun of other people. Tamahome chuckled to himself at the thought that she did actually believe that. In doing all of her new Emo acts, she probably wanted to get rid of anyone that cared for her so she did feel alone. Who knows what she could be thinking, but Tamahome bet it wasn't anything logical. One simple sit down and talk would fix everything, yet she runs away. Runs away from everything. Afraid of life itself.

What he thought she really needed was some help but also some space. He was willing to give her the space as long as she accepted the fact that he was there to help her. She may never call on him for help but just the fact that he knows he is there would be enough.

That night he sat there and decided what he would do. She needed an example to get her out of her weakness, so she could be that strong girl again that wasn't afraid of anything, especially not afraid of talking to him. He decided to go to her house tomorrow night with a gun. He took a long look at his picture collection of Kagome. He loved these pictures. They were of Kagome back when she smiled and laughed and was happy. He wanted that Kagome back. Everyone wanted that Kagome back. He feel asleep dreaming of that one night in the park.