Chapter Eighteen: The Debut of Princess Sun Shang Xun

A young—but peculiarly masculine—"princess" is introduced to her fiancé.

Sun Ce lifted one brow in a questioning look.

"What did you say?" he demanded, absently twirling his tonfas around as he tried to decipher what his brother had just wheezed out. "Tra-la-la is ready to make meat buns with bored babies?"

Sun Quan, understandably, shot him a disgusted look.

"No!" he gritted out through clenched teeth. "I said Lady Sun is ready to meet with Lord Liu Bei!"

"That's great," Sun Ce spoke without much interest, before turning back to face Shu and challenging, "Lord Liu Bei, choose your partner now—Wait a minute!"

Abruptly, he spun back around and stalked up to his younger brother, holding him by the shoulders and nearly throttling him in his enthusiasm.

"Is it true? Little Sis actually agreed to come out!" he asked in an unnecessarily loud voice.

"Yes," Sun Quan hissed, "so please lower your voice before the people of Shu begin to suspect something!"

Sun Ce whooped and raised one tonfa-holding fist in victory, nearly thwacking his brother in the nose. After he'd regained his composure and avoided Sun Quan's retaliatory punch, he strode over to Liu Bei and invited with a clumsy bow that was meant to look gracious, "Lord Liu Bei, this way, please."

Sun Quan gave a nervous cough, and broke in hastily, "Actually, Lady Sun isn't quite that ready yet. She still needs about an hour or so to…um…do her hair. You know how women are."

Liu Bei heaved a tired sigh, wearily trying to separate his two bickering sworn brothers and signaling by a nod of his head that he understood what the younger prince of Wu was nervously gabbling about.

"Lord Liu Bei, please excuse my elder brother and I," Sun Quan requested apologetically. "In the meantime, a pageboy will lead you to your quarters, where you may await Lady Sun's debut."

And having thus spoken, he attempted to yank Sun Ce to a more private corner where he could unload his troubles without being likely overheard.

Sun Ce turned and pointed to the nearest servant he could find—a young, dark-skinned boy of about seventeen or eighteen, dressed from head to toe in gold-edged maroon and wearing a matching scarf knotted tightly around his head.

"You, go attend to our honored guests," the twenty-six-year-old prince hollered, while at the same time trying to prevent his overzealous brother from dislocating his shoulder in the latter's attempt at pulling him out of Shu's earshot.

The pageboy hid a scowl at Sun Ce's rudely-barked order, and as soon as his prince's back was turned, he wasted no time in wrinkling his nose and impertinently sticking his tongue out at his master. This went unnoticed by Sun Ce, but unfortunately for the pageboy, the sharper-eyed Sun Quan caught this impudent gesture, and frowned. The bratty little pageboy sheepishly retracted his tongue and tried to look as innocent as possible, as Sun Quan ratted him out to Sun Ce, who stalked over and peered suspiciously at his servant.

"I don't think I've seen you before," the prince murmured thoughtfully, tilting the young lad's chin toward him while screwing together his brows in concentration. "What's your name?"

To this, the pageboy had a ready answer.

"The other servants call me Ren Er(1)," he replied cheerfully.

Sun Quan moved closer, and also examined the pageboy. He, apparently, hadn't noticed Ren Er before either, for he then demanded, "To whose court do you belong?"

"To General Zhou Tai's," came the prompt reply.

The two Suns, seeing that Zhou Tai was absent from the entourage and as such they couldn't readily question him about Ren Er, decided to drop the case and move on with their own business.

"Then go on and escort Lord Liu Bei to his quarters, Ren Er," the elder of the duo ordered carelessly, before allowing himself to be dragged off to his brother's courts.

Upon arriving, the sight that greeted his eyes there was apparently shocking enough for Sun Ce's jaws to almost hit the floor.

Lu Xun was sitting in Sun Quan's chamber, tied with rope to a chair and angrily kicking his legs back and forth while at the same time trying his best to whine and protest through his gag.

Sun Ce turned and stared at his brother with a disgusted look on his face, causing said brother to turn as red as the tiger flags of Wu and hastily explain, "It isn't what you think!"

The elder prince frowned suspiciously.

"Why is Lu Xun bound and gagged, in your room?" he voiced in a wary tone, indiscreetly inching several steps away from his brother in anticipation of the worst possible answer.

"Remember when I came in and told you to stop the dueling, because our sister had agreed to meet with Lord Liu Bei?" Sun Quan stammered nervously.

Sun Ce arched a brow.

"Yeah?" he prodded.

"Well…I was lying," the younger Sun admitted. "She disappeared after me and Lu Xun tried to, um, subdue her, and we can't find her anywhere!"

"But Bro—why tie Lu Xun up for your incompetence?" Sun Ce wanted to know.

He soon decided that he didn't like the look that sprang into his younger brother's eyes at that question. It reminded him too much of the same look he'd seen mirrored in Gan Ning's eyes, the night he and the ex-pirate had decided to gamble three Southern cities on a single hand of cards.

As predicted, Sun Quan's response turned out to be an equally harebrained scheme.

"I was hoping to present a false Lady Sun to Lord Liu Bei until the search party finds her," the twenty-four-year-old revealed, "and Lu Xun's the only officer of Wu who's both small enough to pass off for a woman, and who also doesn't have any facial hair!"

Ren Er led the Shu party down the winding corridors of the palace, pausing before each door to introduce a particular guest room to its new resident. Soon, only the pageboy and Liu Bei himself were left.

As these two walked toward the court that Sun Jian had prepared for his distinguished guest, Ren Er casually struck up a conversation with the man so famed for his virtue and nobility.

"You don't seem too enthusiastic about marrying Lady Sun," the pageboy observed slyly, causing the king to cough and redden slightly at the ears.

"I apologize if I may have given off that impression," Liu Bei murmured. "After all, Lady Sun is a fine young woman. What man wouldn't be happy about making a match with such a smart and beautiful princess?"

Ren Er smirked upon hearing his obliging, obviously rehearsed reply.

"How do you know that she's a fine young woman?" he challenged boldly. "Shu is so far away from Wu—all you've heard about Lady Sun's intelligence and capabilities are rumors. Maybe they're just lies started by her father to inveigle you into coming here and then trapping you into a marriage alliance."

Liu Bei smiled; the pageboy was feisty, yes, on the point of being almost insolent. But years of dealing with Zhang Fei's outbursts had done an admirable job of de-sensitizing him to blunt remarks that would have been interpreted as offensive by others.

"They can't all be lies, not if even Cao Cao himself acknowledges the Sun Clan—all members of the Sun Clan—as a viable threat to Wei," he spoke up mildly. "Besides, I don't have many rights to complain, when Lady Sun must be wondering the same things about me. It's a shame that, for the sake of her country, she is to have so little say about her own life."

They had reached Liu Bei's court by then. Ren Er strode up to the apartment and threw open the carved doors, before stepping aside so that his guest might enter.

"Now that I've safely shown you where your quarters will be, are you going to box my ears for daring to speak so impertinently to you?" he sassed, while dropping a sloppy bow by the heavy portieres.

Liu Bei looked genuinely surprised, and a little bit amused, by his words.

"Ren Er—do you know what I was before I established the Shu-Han?" he asked.

The young lad leaned back, surprised at having his question answered by a question.

"Of course," he spoke up defensively. "You were a merchant, right?"

Liu Bei smiled.

"That's a rather interesting euphemism," he mused mildly. "No, Ren Er—I was a street peddler of sandals and straw mats. As a result, I know better than to mistreat common people, for I was born commoner than most men, and I'll remain that way even if I become the Emperor of China."

His pageboy nearly fell down from surprise.

"But you're the Imperial Uncle, and the king of Shu," he spluttered. "How can you come from such a rabble stock?"

"The founder of the Han Dynasty, Emperor Gaozu(2), was himself a mere peasant," Liu Bei gently reminded the stubborn little valet. "I find no shame in my past occupation, Ren Er."

Having thus spoken, he bowed politely to his stunned-looking attendant and retreated into his apartment, leaving the latter to look after his departing back with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"And glide…and glide…and turn…and pivot…" Sun Ce was coaching clumsily, taking what he thought were light, graceful steps and exaggeratedly swinging his hips from side to side with each movement.

Sun Quan, watching the scenario unfold before him, clicked his tongue in annoyance before remarking, "You look like a waddling mother duck, dear brother!"

Sun Ce whirled around in a decidedly unfeminine manner.

"Well, I'm the one who's married to one of the Two Qiaos," he snapped hotly, "so naturally I should be the one deciding how beautiful women walk!"

The miserable object of their squabble continued to stumble around with difficulty, in a pathetic imitation of Sun Ce's "feminine glide."

Lu Xun tripped ungracefully over the misty waves of palest red silk that cascaded around his legs, at the same time trying to prevent the two giant peaches stuffed over his chest from slipping down to his navel. His head was so weighed down with ornamental flowers and jewelry—clusters of fragrant roses and lilies, frothy peach and orange blossoms, exquisite chais made of carved jade and encrusted with precious rubies and pearls, golden phoenixes ready to take flight from his bangs, dangling emeralds shaped like teardrops—that he was having difficulty holding his chin up.

"Lu Xun, stop dawdling! My old nanny can walk faster than that!"

Apparently, Sun Ce had extricated himself from his quarrel with his brother to nag at the hapless young strategist.

Lu Xun stopped gliding, and turned to his prince to explain for his lack of speed.

"I'm afraid to move too fast," the handsome, boyish youth whined. "That might jolt my peaches, and then they'll bruise and fall down!"

Sun Ce heaved an irritated sigh.

"Lu Xun, what have I told you about your voice?" he demanded sternly.

Lu Xun sighed.

"I'm sorry," he squeaked in a nasal, high-pitched trill—a trill which, apparently, the first prince of Wu thought was what women sounded like when they spoke.

Sun Ce nodded in satisfaction.

"Good," he declared pleasedly. "Looks like Lord Liu Bei's bride is now ready to meet her groom!"

Liu Bei was unable to contain an uneasy frown when he saw the looks in Sun Ce and Sun Quan's eyes as they propelled him toward their sister's court.

"We apologize for the delay," the younger of the two princes was saying, "but our sister has finally finished getting ready."

Within minutes, the three men had arrived at Sun Shang Xiang's courts. Sun Quan and Liu Bei stopped before a pearl curtain, while Sun Ce strode toward the rope controlling the slender beaded strands.

"Lord Liu Bei, the kingdom of Wu is proud to present your future bride, Princess Sun Shang Xiang," he announced grandly.

The pearl curtain was yanked wide open, and a small figure—heavily veiled and virtually hidden underneath layers of rich, soft red silk—reluctantly stepped forward.

1. "Er" is a unisex term for "child" or "little one," and in ancient China, particularly in the South, it was a common nickname that elders used to refer to their youngsters.

2. The first emperor of the four-hundred-year Han Dynasty. Also known as Liu Bang.