Musings
Summary: Draco ponders on his hatred and what could be.
Warnings: semi-AU? Unbetaed
270 words
Draco indubitably, undeniably, and indisputably hated Harry Potter. It was annoying how the Gryffindor had not even uttered an intelligible word when they first met – years and years ago at Madam Malkin's. It was irritating how the dark-haired bane unhesitatingly threw off his hand in friendship, and yet accepted that pathetic Weasley's and mudblood Granger's. It irked him that the boy-who-lived always managed to get one step ahead of everyone, and was irrefutably the 'perfect golden boy' with flaws the size of a pinhead.
But, most of all… it was hateful how Potter managed to throw Draco's entire world askew from simply being around.
Before Potter, Draco idolized his father. Before Potter, Draco had never prioritized anything more than his family name. Before Potter, Draco had always been a Malfoy, first and foremost.
But when the irritating skinny boy came into the picture, Draco started to become 'Draco' instead of just 'Malfoy'. He'd started to doubt his father's ideals, started to not want to grow into a death eater. He'd started to wonder about 'mudblood inferiority', and began to think and act in ways completely unbefitting of a Malfoy.
And so, he retaliated. It was better to be 'unrefined in hatred' rather than 'unbecoming in friendship'. After all, the former was more acceptable in a Malfoy's behavior than the latter could ever hope to be.
Draco hated, and hated, and hated. Harry, by all means, returned it.
But sometimes, when he was alone, Draco could think of nothing but what could be and what could have been; and how acting less like a Malfoy and more like Draco would bode.
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