Chapter Twenty-Five: Apologies and Arrangements
In the South a marriage undergoes its first notes of tension, while in the North a second union is slowly planned out.
"Lady…"
Liu Bei looked helplessly at the now-empty seat his wife had once occupied. Around him, the atmosphere was shifting from surprise to awkwardness, as guests fidgeted uncomfortably in their seats, embarrassed at having just witnessed this unexpected lovers' spat.
After what seemed like an eternity spent gazing forlornly in the direction Sun Shang Xiang had departed from, Liu Bei finally seemed to remember that he had company. Flustered, he clasped his hands and dropped a hasty bow to the well-wishers, before mumbling out, "Please excuse me, gentlemen."
With those words, the king of Shu turned on his heels and rushed off after his wife.
Not a sound could be heard following his departure. A dainty golden oriole, perched atop its parasol tree, dared let out a single sweet note. Yet, after sensing the tension which greeted its disrespectful melody, the little songbird wisely fell into a sullen silence.
Finally, Sun Ce tried to lighten the mood by leaping up and declaring with a too-cheerful laugh, "Like a wise old man once said, 'The only thing scarier than a new bride is her mother!' Right? Right?"
"Which wise old man would that be?" Zhou Yu demanded dryly, lifting one nonchalant eyebrow as his sworn brother reddened at the ears and mumbled something incomprehensible under his breath.
However, it was obvious that Sun Ce's attempts were slowly chipping away at the apprehension. Encouraged by the soft noises of guests coming back to life, Sun Ce grinned, banged his wine goblet against his armor to gather everybody's attention, and announced, "Looks like we've been abandoned to come up with our own entertainment! Any ideas?"
"How about a—" his younger brother started to suggest, before Gan Ning elbowed the second prince of Wu out of the way to bawl out, "Let's play a drinking game!"
Xi Tian lingered inconspicuously behind an arching gingko, watching the suddenly enthused Sun Ce as he began barking out the rules and details of the game. Observing that the strain she'd helped introduce into the atmosphere was slowly beginning to dissipate, she quietly moved to pick up the vase of mei flowers she'd been carrying, before turning around and slipping away in a soft whisper of silk.
Unbeknownst to her, however, that whisper of rustling fabric hadn't quite been soft enough to escape detection by one of the particular officers present.
Sima Yi smiled with elegant negligence as he slid the required documents across the table toward the fortune-telling master—a short, wizened figure with a cloud of stringy gray beard cascading from his leathery face. Old Man Jia, as he was known, hunched over in his seat and began consulting the birth dates of the proposed bride and groom, while the man responsible for inviting him watched with a look of veiled anticipation in his eyes.
Cao Cao lounged behind his desk, an apparently disinterested witness to the events unfolding in his own office. Occasionally, he would deign a carefully neutral glance in the direction of his strategist and look as if he wanted to pose a question, but for the most part, the cunning ruler of Wei held his tongue and refrained from speaking. Sima Yi would tell him in due time.
Old Man Jia, meanwhile, soon finished his task. He straightened up, shaking his head and stroking his beard while declaring, "I cannot say if they will make a good match. Insofar as I can determine, there are no clear disasters threatening their wedding chamber. Yet, there is something uncertain about this pair that prevents me from confirming whether or not they will be good for each other."
A dramatic pause followed his words, before Sima Yi smirked to himself, as though he'd been expecting such an answer. As Old Man Jia continued to shake his head and mumble more inauspicious predictions to himself, the chief strategist of Wei leaned across the table and murmured, "I'm afraid you don't understand, sir."
Old Man Jia looked a bit miffed at this slighting of his powers, but before he could protest, Sima Yi had reached into the draping sleeves of his silk robes…and pulled out about one hundred taels(1) of silver, neatly strung together, which he coolly presented to his invitee.
"The father of the bride-to-be is quite fond of this particular young man," he disclosed in a confidential whisper, before reiterating while meaningfully tapping at a glistening metal coin, "Quite fond of him."
The shoulders of Old Man Jia visibly rose as he heaved a sigh, his eyes fixated on the stacks of taels gleaming brightly before him. He reached forward with a gnarled hand and silently fingered the same coin that Sima Yi had just tapped, his knitted eyebrows belying the thoughts crowding his conscience.
Finally, the fortune-telling master spoke up.
"I am getting old, and my mind is no longer what it used to be, I'm afraid," he began apologetically, at the same time reaching for the tainted money sitting before him. "Please allow me to consult my books; then I may re-evaluate the couple's compatibility…and perhaps help the matchmakers select an auspicious wedding date."
Sun Shang Xiang sat atop the sturdy limb of a towering cypress, one leg tucked beneath her, the other kicking back and forth with such livid energy that the neighboring branches shook and threatened to spill her from their heights. Her nostrils flared and her glaring eyes flashed, but eventually her free leg began to slow down, and then completely stop its furious back-and-forth motion. It was no use; the harmless air simply made a too-poor substitute for her husband.
But the new queen of Shu could not bear to remain still for too long. She reached for the nearest tree cone and tore it off, sending it hurtling across the air with as much force as she could put into her slender right arm.
"Lady, I had a feeling I might find you here." From below drifted a familiar male voice, quiet and rueful, almost inviting her wrath upon its owner's unfortunate but quite deserving head.
A surprised Sun Shang Xiang looked down, and saw, surely enough, the form of her husband below. Liu Bei looked about the size of a hunting hound from where she was sitting, but her battlefield-trained eyes were able to nevertheless identify him with relative ease. Even from atop her cypress, she could still recognize the unmistakable note of repentance in his voice, pleading for a response from his headstrong young wife.
Sun Shang Xiang graciously provided said response: she ripped off the largest, heaviest cone she could find, and lobbed it straight at her husband with a vengeance. She listened with satisfaction as Liu Bei let out a startled noise from below, but was disappointed when no yelp of pain or telltale thud of tree cone connecting with human flesh reached her ears.
"Lady, I am terribly sorry; I had no right to say what I just did at the party," Liu Bei called up, keeping a watchful eye for any further projectiles that might be seeking to pelt his skull.
A frosty snipe slashed back at him like a dagger: "Why are you wasting your time apologizing to me? Shouldn't you be off flattering that Orchid girl with all your blather about art and beauty?"
Liu Bei winced.
"I made a mistake; I simply meant that she is a finely educated young woman," he admitted. "However, just because Orchid is well-versed in poetry detracts nothing from you."
"Hn!" Sun Shang Xiang harrumphed back, and fell into silence.
"Lady, is there any way I can convince you that you're the only one—" Liu Bei started to implore, when said lady abruptly cut him off and snapped, "Oh, stop it! You want the entire palace to hear your wimpy voice screeching apologies up a tree?"
"I…ah…Sorry?" Liu Bei hastily apologized. However, one corner of his upper lip began to turn up in a smile.
Sun Shang Xiang had regained her spirits enough to insult him. He was starting to make some progress.
Xi Tian struggled under the weight of her heavy porcelain vase as she continued her trek toward the maids' quarters. Her arms, unused to carrying anything heavier than a tea tray, were already getting sore. And that pesky crimson cloud of overgrown mei branches was completely blocking her view. Was she even going in the right direction…?
She was abruptly startled out of her thoughts when a solicitous pair of arms reached around her torso and lifted the vase up into the air and right out of her hands. Xi Tian tried unsuccessfully to stifle an alarmed little squeal, nearly tripping over her skirts when she hurriedly whirled around to identify the source of this unexpected aid.
Upon recognizing the striking figure of the Little Dragon standing a few paces behind her, she wrinkled her nose and manipulated her features into a look of affected displeasure.
"You! What do you think you're doing, scaring me like that?" she demanded laughingly, placing both hands on her hips while one eyebrow slanted upwards to create a sharp sable half-moon across her white forehead.
To her question and her mock anger, Zhao Yun merely smirked and lightly teased, "Don't be ungrateful, Orchid—you were too busy holding your vase directly in front of your eyes to notice that you're about to crash into that tree!"
The sable moon descended back to its regular position, as Xi Tian's impertinent look slipped off and she turned around to verify his accusation. Realizing that he was right, and her nose was indeed mere inches from coming into contact with the trunk of a lush chinaberry, Xi Tian's face soon assumed the same shade of red as the meis now in Zhao Yun's hands.
"Oh, why is it that I always have to be crashing into trees every time I see you?" she hissed annoyedly to herself, recalling the occasion when she'd first met a blood-soaked Zhao Yun at her father's estate and had almost plowed right through a pear tree in her haste to flee from the war-worn hero.
Seeing her woebegone face, Zhao Yun couldn't help but smile, before gallantly picking out the showiest spray of mei blossoms and holding it before the young handmaid by means of a peace offering.
"I'm sorry; it was rude of me to laugh at your distress, Orchid," he apologized, but couldn't resist adding with a roguish grin as Xi Tian started to accept his gift, "Cheer up, though—the rest of Lady Sun's handmaids are so impatient and sloppy, I'm sure you'll fit right in."
A swirl of tiny crimson petals lashed against his lips before he could say anything else. Xi Tian gloatingly stepped back and giggled at the rather ridiculous sight before her eyes: the brave and mighty Little Dragon of Changshan, standing in the middle of a stone path, holding a gargantuan white-and-blue vase in his arms while trying to blow off a smattering of delicate mei blossoms from his mouth.
"Oh, you're hopeless," she taunted, as she observed the Tiger General do battle with one last remaining petal that was stubbornly refusing to be dislodged by puffs of breath alone.
Feeling that she had won, Xi Tian could now afford to be generous. Stepping over toward her vase thief, she took away the porcelain monstrosity that stood as a barrier between them, and set it on the ground. Zhao Yun's eyes widened when she leaned even closer, until less than an inch of space separated their faces.
"Orchid…" he started to whisper huskily.
Xi Tian didn't reply, only reached up with one hand and gracefully brushed away the one lingering carmine petal.
"All done," she looked up and smiled, accidentally locking eyes with him for a moment so that she couldn't help blushing herself.
"Don't give me that look," she breathed softly, not knowing why she was whispering, only feeling that she ought to lower her voice when speaking so scandalously close to his gently parted lips.
"What look?" Zhao Yun asked in a low, almost playful murmur.
Xi Tian hesitated, as if unable to come up with a proper reply. Her pause proved just long enough for a pair of rabidly fighting squirrels to dart across their path, shrieking acrimoniously at each other and at the flower vase whenever they bumped into its cold, smooth surface. Xi Tian let out a little yell of her own upon seeing the expensive porcelain begin to tilt heavily on its base. Both she and Zhao Yun rushed forward to steady the container, nearly bumping heads together in the process.
"I should go now," Xi Tian mumbled, clearing her throat and steadfastly avoiding making eye contact with the young warrior before her.
Zhao Yun flushed slightly, before picking up the vase for her and offering chivalrously, "Let me carry this for you; it's too heavy for a handmaid to be hauling around all day."
Xi Tian smirked coyly when she heard his proposal, and sassed while upturning her nose at him, "All right, but you'd better not point out my clumsiness anymore!"
"And you won't try to attack me with your little meis, either, right?" Zhao Yun retorted with an easygoing laugh.
"Fine, I won't," Xi Tian innocently batted her eyelashes, only to turn around a moment later and hit him right on the nose with a lotus blossom plucked from her hair.
"Hey…!" Zhao Yun started to protest indignantly, but Xi Tian only giggled and danced out of his way, singsonging over her shoulder, "You specified meis, but you didn't say I can't use any other types of flowers!"
"So you honestly don't care that I can't play the qin or compose poetry?" Sun Shang Xiang was demanding.
"Quite frankly, I've heard enough qin music from General Zhou Yu these past few days to last me a lifetime," Liu Bei replied, earning a laugh from the young woman perched on her tree.
"Just wait until my brother tries to accompany him on the se! You'll be hearing that nightmare in your head for weeks on end!" the young queen joked, before something like realization struck her eyes and she yelled down, annoyed, "Hey, don't try to change the subject! I'm still supposed to be angry with you!"
"Yes, but might you be angry with me here on the ground?" Liu Bei asked. His wife was slender, but that cypress was starting to look more and more precarious with each passing minute…
Silence was his initial reply. Finally, Sun Shang Xiang stipulated, "I might consider it—if you'll promise that you won't ever try to change me to be more feminine like that little flirt in pink!"
"You mean Orchid?" Liu Bei guessed, wincing.
The reply was curt and immediate: "Who else could I possibly mean?"
"Lady, I would never dare try to change you," Liu Bei swore sincerely.
"Promise," Sun Shang Xiang insisted.
Liu Bei smiled to himself. The fearless daughter of the Tiger of Jiang Dong might like to think herself grown-up, but in some ways, she was still such a child.
"I promise," he reassured her.
Sensing, rather than seeing, her grin at his answer, he became bold enough to venture, "I can trust, however, that you will be kind enough not to take out your anger on your handmaid Orchid?"
Sun Shang Xiang had started to climb down, but upon hearing his hopeful request, she stopped midway. Tossing back her head, the warrior princess declared with a contemptuous laugh, "My handmaid Orchid? Hah! Any handmaid of mine is going to have to learn how to fight!"
1. A monetary unit used in ancient China.