I know i havent email you guysyet, but its like 3am and im tired, i'll do it first thing tomorrow. Being tired now isnt a good sign, ive appiled for a night job...what will i be like at 5am?

so here it is...Hermione finds out the truth...

Chapter 16

"He looks so peaceful, I'm glad he's a contempt baby." Hermione smiled as she stroked the black hair out of Alexander's face. It was hard for her to think that just 2 days ago he was still cocooned inside her. "When will you hire a child minder?"

"About that, I've already hired one." Severus replied knowing that the time had come for him to spill the beans. He would tell her but not in front of the child she had helped to create, it would be hard enough to tell her but to have Alexander looking at him with those eyes was too much. "She's coming tomorrow, lets go into the dinning room to speak about it some more."

Hermione followed him through to the sitting room. It was when Severus sat in the arm chair instead of next to her on the couch, did the penny drop. He was planning something other than child care. Why else would he not talk to her about it? Why else would he deny her to looking after Alex? She felt her heart beat hard against her chest as the story fell from his lips. She was going to Spain? Fitzwilliam? He was talking Alex away from her. He was taking her baby. Had he planned this from the beginning? Did he and that Fitz'z guy sit around and decide her future without her?

"-one of the top best. You will be happy there. Of course I will pay for the whole thing, it's the least I could do and you will get the thousand." His voice had changed from the sultry one she had cherished, his sentences now felt like a knife, each word pushing it further in to her chest, piecing her heart, killing her.

She didn't speak, his voice surrounding her in a thick blanket of confusion and to her surprise, rejection. Why was he doing this? Her head felt full from all the questions she needed to get out of the room, why did feel like it was getting smaller. She didn't want to hear what he had to say, if she couldn't hear it then it couldn't be real. Could it?

She got up from he couch, her movements quicker then her pregnant form but still held back from her birth recovering body. She stumbled through the portrait barely aware that Severus was behind her, calling out for her to stop, but yet he did not run to catch her. He could have caught up with her easily. She had only given birth to his son two days ago.

She ran into the concerned arms of Poppy. Her questions of what was the matter fell unanswered as Hermione finally allowed the tears to fall. She had loved him, with all her heart but as each tear fell her heart became empty, her body became numb. She could not love him for doing this but yet deep inside she knew she would never stop.

"Where is she?" Severus asked when Poppy had exited the infirmary to see him slummed on the floor against the wall. She looked down at him and he wanted to hide from the disgust he could see in her eyes.

"She's gone."

It was all she said before walking away from him.

Severus closed his eyes and let out a sob, it was all for the best. She wouldn't be happy with him. He didn't love her. He repeated this to himself for the hours that he spent leaning against the wall seeking some warmth. When McGonagall had helped him back to his rooms, Severus still didn't believe the words he tried to convince him self.

It wasn't for the best.

He needed her.

He loved her.

But what was done was done. She could never love a demon like him.

Her throat was sore, her eyes puffy and her head felt like it was full of cotton wool. Hermione leant against the plump form of Molly Weasley. Poppy had helped her through the floo to the Burrow after Hermione had explained what had happened. Molly had cried out in outrage after Poppy retold the story.

Hermione had been in the comforting hold of Ron as the two women cursed about the potions master. He had leant down and whispered. "Its ok, Mione. At least you only carried the brat and it's not half yours."

"Yeah Ron." Hermione had mumbled fighting the new on come of tears.

Now it was only Molly and herself in the old room of Ginny's, and Hermione let the wise witch lure her to sleep. She knew in the morning she would have to go back to Hogwarts to collect her belongings. She had asked Poppy to go to the rooms and pack her stuff so she only had to collect it from her. She would have asked her to floo them to the Burrow but Hermione felt the need to go herself. She didn't want to run away.

She had wakened early the next morning and as she watched the dawn of the sun, she mulled over the turmoil in her mind. She needed to get all of it of her chest, air the sheets; do whatever was needed to stop this hurt. Borrowing a quill from Ginny's stash she set to writing a letter.

Dear Professor Snape.

I won't be going to Spain, nor do I want your money. You can keep it all and rip up the contract while you're at it. What you have done is unforgivable. You took my trust and used it as toilet paper. I never want to see or hear from you again. To think at one point I fancied the notion of creating a family with you. To think that I loved you, and still did until the point you tore my heart apart with your cruelty.

How stupid was I to think that you could feel the same, yet alone have emotions all together!

I dreamt about giving you a life full of love and happiness. After all the sacrifices you had made, I thought you especially deserved it. You do truly deserve the happiness you so deeply desire. I had hoped I would have been the one to give, and share, this happiness with you.

Three days ago I gave you the gift of fatherhood. Gave you the chance to prove yourself wrong about being like you father, you could never be like that cold, heartless man. You will be a great father, I only wish that you would find a woman to love and give Alexander the family he needs and ought to have.

He needs a mother and you need to believe that you are finally forgiven for you past sins.

But I can not forgive you, not now.

Hermione Granger.

She folded the parchment up and placed it in an envelope. It was now close to 8am, the floo connection had been arranged to open at 9 for her to go back. She felt too ill for breakfast and settled for a shower instead. Once dressed and ready to go, see eyed the envelop sitting innocently on the desk. Should she give it him?

She shook her head no as she pulled open the door, stepping through it she stopped and turned back. She picked up the letter and placed it in her robes. She wouldn't see him, but she could ask Poppy to give it him.

Hermione felt as if he needed to know what he had lost out off. What damage he had caused. It was her small action of a come back but it still needed to be said.

Floo-ing into the infirmary Hermione was met with the cries of a new born. Her heart fell as she recognized the cries where from her baby. She stayed in the office and peeked through the window in the door to see who had her child.

A tall, slender woman with sleek blonde hair and piercing blue eyes was rocking Alex's in her hands muttering soothing words to him to no avail. Her robes were a light pink and made out of fine materiel, it was clear that she was from a high class, most likely pure-blood. She held herself in a grand posture as she walked around the ward.

It was clear she was the child minder.

Why was Alex here? Was he ill? He had been fine yesterday. Guilt hit her hard as she realized she had left with out saying goodbye to her child. How could she have done something like that? Yes, she was distressed and wanted to leave as quickly as possible but Alex was still her child and she needed to say good bye.

Taking a deep breath once she was sure Severus wasn't in the room, Hermione left the office and went over to Poppy and Alex.

"Hermione!" Poppy smiled taking her into a hug.

"What's wrong with Alexander?" Hermione asked as she pulled away.

"I don't know." The blonde woman answered. "He has cried since I picked him up this morning, I didn't want to get Professor Snape. So I came here instead."

"This is Christina Woodfall." Poppy said to Hermione before turning to Christina. "And this is Hermione Granger."

"Harry Potter's friend!" Christine smiled and stuck her head out for Hermione to shake had she not had to withdraw it to regain balance of Alex. "I've read all about you. I went to Beauxtons, I haven't got much of a French accent but that's because I was born in Leeds."

"Oh." Hermione answered not really listening as Alex was still crying and her concern was growing. "Can I hold him?"

"Yeah, sure, maybe you could get him to quiet down. How did you know his name was Alex?" Christina asked as she handed over the infant.

"I…urm...Poppy told me." Hermione lied. Having Alex in her arms was something she thought she would never get to do again. She rocked him slowly and brought her hand to his face to run her index finger down the length of his nose, she did this over and over again and soon Alex calm down and drifted to sleep.

Poppy and Christina was silent as they watched Hermione and the baby. Once he was a sleep Christina face broke into one of amazement and relief. "You're a natural, every thought of doing child care yourself?"

"No, more into potions myself. I was going to become a mistress but I don't know now." Hermione answered her voice soft as she watched her son sleep. She never wanted to put him down again.

"You should consider it." Christina said as she looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh Merlin, Professor Snape said he would be back to check on Alex before going to his lessons. I've only been here a few hours and already I've messed up. I really got to go."

"Of course." Hermione said as Christina held out her arms for Alex. It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do in her life, her mind was telling her to run away with Alex and her heart was beginning to agree. She thought back the tears as she finally let go of Alex. It would be the last time she would ever see him. Opening her robe, Hermione reached for the letter in her pocket. "Christina, could you do me a favor and pass this onto Professor Snape."

"Sure thing. Any thing for the saint who managed to settle down Alex."

"Oh and this." Hermione added unclasping the necklace from around her neck and handing it to Christina. It was best that she gave it back to him, it was expensive and she never would wear it again so it made no sense in keeping it.

Severus had had a bad day. Christina wasn't there when he returned back from breakfast and when she did finally turn up she had a letter for him and the necklace he had given Hermione for Christmas. As soon as she had said Hermione had given them to her while she was in the infirmary, Severus had raced up to the wards to find that she had already left. He left feeling miserable and wasn't able to read her letter until after the day had finished.

He finished her letter feeling more sorry for himself the ever before. She had loved him. He was such a fool, his one chance of happiness and he had blown it. It was too late now, Hermione had said so herself. She would never forgive him.

Feeling the gravity of his actions on his shoulders he went to Christina to help try to soothe Alex.

Hermione sighed as she finally sat down; she was now officially moved in to her new, small but comfy flat. She had had to sell the house. After a month of not leaving the house at all, she had finally decided to enroll to be a healer. With her savings nearly empty she had no other choice but to sell if she wanted to pay for her education. Now it was close to Christmas and she had not spoken to Severus at all.

She kept in touch with Poppy, who told her how Alex was doing. It was actually chatting to her one day that she realized she need to move on. Poppy had said Snape treats Christina a lot better than she had seen him treat any woman before, and even wondered if he was in love.

As much as it hurt her to let go of Alex, Hermione couldn't waste away waiting for life to get better. She needed to do it herself.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts and Hermione assumed it was Danny on the other side, he was her Muggle next door neighbor, studding at the local university. He had helped her move in and Hermione had offered to cook dinner for him in thanks. Maybe she could move on with Danny? He seemed like a nice man. Not the type to try and send you to a different country just to get rid of you. Danny was safe and he was early too. Hermione spoke as she went and open the door. "I didn't expect you for another hour."

"I must say that is quite a surprise considering that most people had not expected me to return at all." The voice was not Danny's but the cheerful one of a dead man.

Review guys! please! What do you think of Christina?