"Cordelia!" her mother called out loud. "Would you go and pick up the exchange student please. He'll be arriving in a short while at Sunnydale Private Airport."
"Do I have to?" Cordelia whined with indignation. "I'm just busy trying on my new blouse to test out combinations!"
"Now, Cordelia!" the mother commanded. Grumbling Cordelia got up.
-----
Cordelia leant against the car annoyed, hands folded across her chest. The plane had just landed, and now taxied to where she and her car was waiting. Once it stopped a suave, brunet guy, in wide black pants, and - to Cordelia - a blue wide kimono-like top. Horrible, he /so/ needed fashion lessons before she let him be seen with him. She sighed, this was going to take time. He hand a handsome, angular, almost too perfect face though . . . of course, he lacked the Xander quality.
He raised a wooden sword on his shoulder, which made Cordelia raise her eyebrows. He neared her, took a slight bow, and said, "I am Upperclassman Kuno Tatewaki, Furinkan High's Blue Thunder, kendo master, at your service fair lady."
"Cordelia Chase," Cordelia introduced herself bored. "My parents are the ones who volunteered to have you spend time in my house for the duration of your visit. Now, you can hopefully carry your own luggage, Kuno, because I'm not carrying anything."
"Of course not, not such a delicate girl like you, Cordelia-chan, and the name is Tatewaki, not Kuno, we Japanese name our family name first. HURRY UP!" Tatewaki said with a bow.
"Hey!" Cordelia said in protest.
"I apologize, not you great lady," Tatewaki told her, and turned to the plane. "Sasuke! You lazy bum, hurry up!"
"Hai . . ." a squeaky voice called.
"And speak English, we are in America here, peasant boy!" Tatewaki called out with haughty irritation.
"I am sorry, master," the voice called and then several stacked up suitcases with a set of small feet underneath appeared in the doorway of the plane. After some squeezing the stack of suitcases and the little guy carrying them tumbled down the stairs, finally crashing on the ground, groaning. Cordelia watched astonished as the little guy turned out to be wearing some kind of Ninja suit, and had two bunny teeth.
"You clumsy oaf!" Tatewaki called out in irritation. He turned to Cordelia, and said, "I apologize for the ineptness off my servant, Cordelia-chan." Cordelia watched as Tatewaki then turned to his servant, kicked him once, and said, "Do I have to do everything myself!? Can't I for /once/ leave something to you, and /not/ have you screw things up!? Look how you make me look to the fair Chase-woman!"
"I am sorry, master! I will gather everything quickly," Sasuke groveled and promptly started picking up the four suitcases he had dropped.
Cordelia looked at the scene with wide eyes, thinking, -I've never been /that/ bad to any of our servants, or anyone else for that matter.- On the one hand it was a good observation, on the other she was uncomfortable with her own acknowledgment that she treated servants and people 'bad'.
"Master," Sasuke said, "Are you certain Mistress Kodachi agreed with me going along with you?"
"Of course she did, don't be silly, now move," Tatewaki said, pointing the direction for his servant.
-----
Nerima, Tokyo, Japan.
Kuno Estate
"Sasuke! Sasuke! Where are you, you lazy servant! I need to eat, it's late!" Kodachi screamed out through the house. She found herself in the kitchen, with a note lying on the table. She picked it up, and read it:
Kodachi, my beloved sister, I took Sasuke with me on my student exchange trip to America. I'm certain as a woman you can handle yourself on your own in the coming two weeks.
Your loving brother,
Tatewaki
"Tatewaki!! You will pay upon your return for this infraction!!" Kodachi screamed with a balled fist swinging above her head.
-----
Deo's restaurant
Lotion sighed with dreamy eyes. Outside a guy arrived on a bike, and entered the restaurant. He parked himself in a table, and took the menu. After reading through it, Lotion arrived and asked, "What I get for sir?"
"Ah, this seems tasty," he said, and looked up into the green eyes, and beautiful brown hair, and fantastic figure in the sexy waitress uniform of Lotion. Dazzled with her beauty, he looked at her as she wrote down his order. He finally managed to take in her name tag, and said, "Lu-Xion, Lotion, what a beautiful name. I'm Pike, Pike Ambrose, beautiful angel."
Lotion gave a giggle, and said, "You very hungry man, I see. Get food quickly." Lotion then walked away.
"What an angel, what a beauty, I came to see if Buffy . . . but, I'm in love with this hot- . . . what an incredible babe," Pike muttered, utterly and completely in love.
Pike watched Lotion return with his order a few minutes later, and he started eating, keeping close attention to Lotion. He watched her as she serviced other people with a grace and beauty that made him fall only deeper for the lovely girl. Soon she had brought everyone just newly arrived their orders, and stayed behind the counter while she had nothing to do. He heard her sigh once more, and she said softly, "Why so cruel! Found great, great man, but he interested in pig-nosed girl. Perhaps smash my nose in?" At first Pike's spirits crashed and burned, then they soared high again when he heard the guy had someone else. "Xander my fiance, and now not want me."
"WHAT!?" Pike called out in rage, getting up, and pushing the chair back. Everyone looked at him, and then Pike walked over to Lotion. "Are you telling me, this guy is your fiance but is chasing another girl!?" Lotion nodded sadly. "That- that- . . . evil- . . . son of a- . . ." Pike growled out. "Someone who dares to do that to a beautiful, innocent girl like you! He deserves punishment! Who is he!?"
Lotion pulled out a picture of Xander smiling and showing his muscled arms, she, her mother, or someone had taken of him, and she said, "Xander Harris, greatest man alive."
Pike took the picture, and imprinted Xander's face in his mind, then said, "This guy shall pay. Do you know where he is?"
Lotion blinked somewhat confused, and answered, "Sunnydale Highschool. How much he owe you? I willing- . . ."
"Plenty!" Pike said, dumped the money for his food on the counter and ran out the restaurant - having the audacity to seduce the beautiful Lotion, ask her to marry him, and then casually go out with other girls - this Harris owed him plenty indeed, and he would pay - with interest.
Lotion turned around put her head in the kitchen, and said, "Mother, Xander needs money."
"Oh, you foolish child," Deo said shaking her head. "'Making someone pay' is an English expression, it means punishing someone for something, usually hurting them a lot by beating them up."
"Oh! Xander!" Lotion said in shock.
"Don't worry, that fool won't even be able to lay one finger on Xander," Deo said with a smile. Lotion sighed in relief. "Unless he has a gun, shoots from afar, and has good aim," Deo added suddenly realizing they were in America and the guy was a vagrant on a bike. Lotion sucked in a sudden breath. Then Deo said, "Don't worry, Lotion, I'm sure he doesn't." Lotion let out her breath, and once she was out of the kitchen, Deo said to herself, "Better make sure he doesn't."
Indeed, that night Deo found Pike sleeping in a sleeping bag, using the tank of his bike as a pillow, and she searched him, finding no gun, only stakes and crossbows. Satisfied, she left Pike alone.
-----
Ampata was happy to be in America, and happy to be driven to school along with Buffy by her mom. She could make an amazing breakfast, he had learned that morning. Once out of the car though, he had become even more happy when the nice Willow, and the amazing, hot, incredible Lexa Horne joined them; wearing a short skirt, high heals, and a low-cut, bellybutton-showing blouse that had him practically drooling. That she hooked her arm in his, and told him he looked so handsome made his head swell with pride, much to Willow's and Buffy's annoyance, but he didn't notice that.
"Why th-thank you, Lexa, you look amazing yourself," Ampata managed to get out.
"No . . . you really think so? You flirt you," Lexa told him with shy smile, making sure her breasts were prominently on display. Buffy and Willow looked at the scene with more and more steamed faces.
"Sorry," a guy said when he accidently bumped against Buffy.
"Hey!" Buffy said with annoyance, between Xander putting herself on display for Ampata and being bumped she was seriously pissed off. She looked back at the guy just bumping past her like she was worth shit. He was scanning the crowd intently, student per student. "Now, you wait and . . ." Buffy halted and her three companions stood behind her, waiting expectantly as to why Buffy had suddenly stopped. "Pike!?" Buffy asked in shock, recognizing him.
Willow's eyes frown for a moment, and then widened, while Lexa and Ampata looked confused. "/The/ Pike?" Willow asked in shock, "Your first boyfriend, not popularity politics?"
Buffy nodded. Willow grew excited. Ampata still looked confused, and Lexa's face crunched up first in recognition and then in annoyance. She still remembered the jealousy he had felt last year when Willow had pressured Buffy into spilling about her first boyfriend, and the gushing confession 'how brave, and those eyes, and that goatee and . . .' Ugh, it still made her sick. A further glimpse of her thoughts would reveal, -Oh, just fucking great. What is this anyway? I get rid of the lying, pedophile, sicko vampire, and Buffy suddenly looks at Ryoga's bare chest. I make sure he's out of the picture, and this fool comes along; I get rid of him, and her first love returns? This ain't normal! Is she like a guy magnet or something?- Lexa looked up at the sky for a moment, and thought darkly, -You hate me, don't you!? Don't dare deny it!-
Pike though hadn't recognized Buffy, he just kept scouring the students. "Hey, Pike! I'm here! . . . Hello, your ex-girlfriend Buffy Summers is right behind you, you know? Did you came here for me?"
Pike finally acknowledged her - by putting his right hand over his shoulder in a halt-sign, and saying, "Not now, Buffy, this is important."
-Yes!- Lexa thought breaking in a smile and having all eyes for Ampata again, as Willow and Buffy looked dumbfounded.
"Okay," Buffy said softly, hurt, placing herself next to him, and asking. "Slayer here, remember, I can help. Are you looking for a vamp- . . . no: day - a demon then, a shapeshifter?"
"Worse," Pike answered, while Willow looked panicked from Buffy to Ampata. Obviously getting the cold shoulder from the first love she broke up with to start over with nothing reminding her of vampires, and as a result had cried for days as she had told Willow and Xander a year earlier, had thrown her for enough of a loop she had forgotten about Ampata.
Ampata looked with a frown up at Lexa, asking softly, "Demons?"
While he did that, Buffy's brow furrowed in confusion, and asked, "Principal Snyder?"
Lexa answered the Latin boy, "Ah, Sunnydale slang for a real bastard, not an /actual/ demon of course, 'cause that would be crazy." She added a fake chuckle, and Ampata smile, apparently buying the bullshit.
"Don't be such highschool girl, Buffy, I'm here looking for a guy, one specific guy, and I will make him pay," Pike said and then left Buffy and her friends behind.
"What was that about?" Buffy asked perturbed at Pike casually leaving her behind.
"He's a bastard, a bum, and a biker, he wears cow skins," Willow supplied meanly, and Buffy looked at her. Willow shrugged and wrapped Buffy in a hug. "He'll come apologize, or you kick his ass," Willow said with comfort, and Buffy nodded sadly, but happy in the hug.
-----
"Pig-nosed girl!! Willow!" Lotion called out loud, as the four of them walked through Sunnydale High's crowded corridors, Willow trying to comfort the blonde - who instead of the usual getting angry, just became more depressed. Lotion caught up as they turned, and she said, "Have you seen Xander? Oh, girl-type."
"Girl-type?" Ampata asked once more in confusion. America was such a strange place. Lexa just made a point at Lotion, and then circled the same finger next to the temple of her head. Ampata then looked back and took in the other, /another/, beautiful, sexy girl, in rather figure-hugging clothes, but completely unlike any of the other clothes he had seen girls wear. America may be a strange place, but it was a blessed place.
Meanwhile Lotion took in Lexa's attire, all skirts and feminine, no real way she could be Xander anytime so, so the threat of the guy of yesterday was rather slim. "Uh, then not important, I guess, uh, well, see you later, I have other class, bye," Lotion then turned around and walked off, muttering under her breath, "Stupid Pike on bike - he shoots my Xander I will kill."
"What was that all about?" Willow wondered in confusion.
"I have no idea," Buffy muttered in confusion and looked up at Lexa.
"Well, don't look at me," Lexa said with unknowing tone. "Go ask her."
"Let's just go on," Willow suggested and the group turned around. "We finished telling you about . . ."
"Buffy! Willow! Lexa!"
"What now?" Buffy asked defeated and saw Cordelia, her sheep, and a guy in white and blue leather jacket, and in blue jeans come around the corner. He actually wasn't that bad looking, if one forget the arrogant look in his eyes, and his /way/ over-styled wavy hair. Ampata's eyes widened as the five girls, each just has hot, as the girl that had just left appeared on his eyes. Only this heavenly creature that had taken such a liking to him was sexier. He was seriously considering moving to America permanently.
"Buffy, how are you, oh, is this your exchange student, kind of a chump isn't he, although he does have the Latin thing going for him," Cordelia said taking in Ampata, hating the fact that Buffy had gotten just a hot guy as she, but worse that Lexa, or rather Xander was fawning over the guy, instead of being Xander and fawning over her. The Cordettes nodded, looking around to see if they could spot the Cordelia-outed hottest guy in America, who in his female guise felt nervous remembering a few days earlier them chasing him in the mall. "Now, if you take mine, just look at . . ."
"LEXA, MY LOVE!" a voice screamed, pissing off Cordelia at the interruption.
"Oh, no, not him again," Lexa muttered, and turned around. The guy in his red football jacket, holding a large bear in his hand was already close by. Everyone - Willow, Ampata and Buffy with large eyes - looked at the guy step resolutely up close. Lexa realized Ampata could actually come in handy.
"My love, I've bought you this great token of my appreciation, every girl likes a huggable bear. Go with me to the costumed dance," Deke Fisher asked Lexa.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but already got my huggy, snuggums, bear," Lexa said sweetly, hugging Ampata closely into her breasts, steaming Willow, Buffy and Cordelia greatly. "This is Ampata, Buffy's exchange student, for the next to weeks we shall have a passionate, incredible love affair that is worthy of songs, operas even. Then he will return home, and we both will be heartbroken. It will the kind of love affair that those fantastic romantic movies are made about, that has every girl weeping throughout the movie, and on the ride back home. You understand, don't you, Deke? For the next two weeks, you're not even a blip on my radar, I will only have eyes for my great, immortal love, so you might as well give up for the next two weeks, and try to cash in on my heartbroken state afterwards." Everyone looked at Lexa in shock, apart from Ampata who just smiled contently between her breasts. Lexa had thought that kept the halfwit of her back for two weeks, nothing would be further from the truth.
"WHAT!?" Deke yelled out in anger. "Stupid Latin bastard, isn't here for a whole day and he's already stealing, red-blooded Americans' girlfriends. You will pay for this, you bastard. I will pound into the ground for this, slam and tackle . . ." Ampata looked fearful, Lexa, Willow and Buffy annoyed, the first ready to beat the crap out of Deke if he dared lay a finger on the exchange student - the footballer was truly stupid.
Deke took a step forward, but defense came from a very unexpected source. A wooden Katana was placed in between the girls and the football fool. "Stand back, peasant," Tatewaki said with a superior air. "It's obvious the lovely lady has lost her heart to my fellow exchange student. I, as heir to the Kuno estate, and thus having good manners, cannot let you harbor ill will to their happiness, however short they both know it will be. To wish to burden a young woman's heart with even greater ill in a knowingly doomed love affair, can only come from the lowest of the low. If you had grace, you would have waited the short while."
Deke of course, would not take such insults. "-DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?-" Deke snarled in rage.
"Indeed, a pig with no manners, and no control over his liquids," Tatewaki answered calmly, superiorly wiping away a drop from his left shoulder, the little display now having gathered a huge crowd, watching at the spectacle with wonder, secretly placing bets on who would win.
"-WHAT!? /AAAIII/ am Deke Fisher, Sunnydale High's Red Streak Star Quarterback! No one dares to insult me like this!" Deke hissed out in rage.
"I see, not only are you a pig with no matters, you are also an untalented, unskilled peasant, wearing a ridiculous armor and helmet, running around after an oval-shaped, leather thing like a chicken without a head," Tatewaki sated far superiorly, having many students, especially those not interested in sports snicker, even Cordelia, this time actually loving the superior attitude. Willow, Buffy, Lexa and Ampata just looked with disbelief. "Then you should know, that /I/ am Tatewaki Kuno, Furinkan High's Blue Thunder, kendo master extra-ordinaire, four time consecutive winner of the Tokyo district kendo championships. I could turn you into shis kebab with his wooden sword without having to open my eyes."
With a roar Deke attacked, and found himself a moment later crashed painfully against the lockers, groaning as the wooden sword pushed into his left shoulder, and dropping the bear on the floor. "I suggest you leave while I am still in good spirits, low class scum," Kuno stated calmly, with a roar of approval from every nerd in the vicinity.
Buffy though had finally reached her fill with male testosterone around her. First there was Ampata drooling after Lexa, who was Xander, then Pike's brush off, and now this. "THAT'S IT!!" she screamed in utter anger, stepping in between the two. "You are a fool, Lexa wouldn't date you if her life depended on it. And you!" Buffy pushed Tatewaki hard enough he stumbled backward into the lockers on the other side of the hall. "You Japanese, macho sexist! You just have to interfere and come to the rescue the 'little girl', huh? Well, I have you know, Lexa could have handled this easy herself, she would have kicked his, /and/ your ass!" Buffy turned around in anger, with Tatewaki following her with his eyes astonished. "Come on, guys! We've got a class to get to, and this place stinks of testosterone!" Willow nodded, in agreement.
Lexa said, "But it's the first time a guy stood up for me . . ." Buffy and Willow glared at him, and he shut up, quickly placing Ampata between him and the other two, hugging him close.
The group of students dispersed, Deke rubbed his shoulder and giving a glare at Tatewaki he left, taking the bear with him, and grumbling about revenge. Cordelia and her Cordettes rejoined with Tatewaki as he stepped out in the corridor. Cordelia said, "Well, I think it's refreshing for a change, a man with some gallantly left." Her minions nodded dutifully.
Tatewaki's gaze though, was focused on the retreating form with golden hair of Buffy Summers. He smiled brightly, feeling as if the Gods' shiny radiance itself reflecting off her hair. "What a girl, what beautiful eyes, what cheekbones," he took a step forward, as Cordelia and co looked from him to the retreating foursome. "Such golden locks, those penetrating, deep, yet soft eyes, such beauty . . . no! I can't! I mustn't! What would Akane say! Or the pig-tailed girl! I mustn't, I shouldn't! I can't cheat on my eternal loves, I . . . shall . . ." Tatewaki then raised his right hand holding his kendo sword high in the air, crying out like a wounded animal, "Curse this heart of mine!" He sank to his knees, tears forming in his eyes, saying again, "Curse this heart that has so much love to give! Who is she!?"
Cordelia looked at the guy with a dropped jaw; this was nuts even for her. "Huh?"
"The short-statured, golden-locked, blonde angel from heaven," Tatewaki asked with pain in his eyes.
"Buffy? Buffy Summers? The girl that pushed you around?" Cordelia asked in shock.
"Yes! Buffy Summers! My love, my eternal sunshine! I love thee for now and ever! I must make you mine, no Akane, or the pigtailed girl! I'm a cursed individual with such a heart!" Tatewaki cried out, and then stood up gently. "I shall have to live with this, make the right choice, indeed." He then walked forward, a few moments later followed by a dumbfounded Cordelia and her sheep.
-----
Outside, Pike sat on the ground, leaning against a tree, looking angrily at the school. "Figures, that a bastard like that would cut classes," he said pissed off. "No matter, sooner or later he will come to school, and then he's mine."
Author's notes:
Well, I hope the humor worked. A short note on Kuno's 'love' for Buffy, I came to the realization that both Akane and Ranma are short, spunky, tough, and strong girls, which of course exactly fits Buffy, I thought he'd fall in love with another girl fitting his 'type'. So now he has the primary colors complete: blue, red, yellow/blonde. ::chuckles::