Hey guys, guess what i have a new kitten, his name is Jack!

Im sorry this update has taken so long, i tried to put of writing it for as long as posible because im enjoying wiritng it so much and i know that after this chapter there is only one more to go :(

Chapter 19.

Hermione wiped the tears from her face and focused on writing thank you notes to all those who donated to her cause. He loved her. She needed to stop thinking about him it wouldn't do her any good but still the thought resurfaced time and again. He loved her.

It had now been one woe-filled week since she had gone back to Hogwarts and turned her back on both father and son. Turning down Severus had also sealed her fate on never knowing her son. Did she regret it?

She had asked herself this question so many times this past week. Did she regret it? Was it the right choice? But there was never a straight answer because she didn't know. If she had ran into his arms claiming she loved him and would forgive him, would her mind believe what her lips were saying? Could she sleep in the same bed as him night in and night out, have him touch her, knowing what he had done? It was hopeless. Yes, she would get to be with her son, that seemed to be the only plus side to that arrangement but she would never be happy. She would grow bitter towards both of them. So she knew deep down to that question that haunted her but she didn't want to acknowledge it, because the truth was that even though she lost her son and her heart, she didn't regret it. She could never regret it.

Sighing to herself she gave up battling with herself. What was done was done, as much as she thought about the past it wouldn't change it.

It was time to move on. Ha! Like that was likely! How many times in the past two years had she told her self to move on? And how many times did she not? Nevertheless it was time to start anew. The centre was the start of a new chapter in her life; she would not look back any more. She had worked hard this past week getting the derelict building ready for the grand opening next week. She had thought hard about where to set up the centre. London was the oblivious place, with Knockturn Alley and all, but they had St Mungo's. Even though it wasn't a free service it still offered cheap health care for the less-well-off.

Hogsmeade was her second choice, being the only fully wizard village and near the school. The second reason was also the main reason why she didn't want to go there; it was close to Hogwarts which meant it was close to Severus. It was the only reason why she was against going there so she had pushed her selfishness to the side and focused on what was best for the people she wanted to help. Being close to the school means she could offer private consultations for those who were too embarrassed to see Poppy. It was the best option for her, so she had contacted Minerva and Poppy and they both agreed on how perfect it was to the local community and for the school. It was Albus who suggested the building in which she now lived in. It had been a sore spot in the village for over 30 years; it was time to give it a proper use and a put to rest all the rumors of it being haunted. Hermione was still undecided on whether to change its name or leave it as the Shrieking Shack.

The Shrieking Shack; was now no longer shrieking or a shack. It was now fully restored to its once grandeur, even the passage to Hogwarts had been remodeled, gone was the small narrow dirty path, now there was stone wall's and floors. Torches now ran along the long corridor-like-passage and it was made wider and more breathable. The shacks walls still held the wisdom and memories of what they had seen, and it had even taken Hermione a while to get use to calling the place her home.

Once she had redecorated each room and burnt all the furniture the memories seemed to be less raw then what they were when she first opened the door. Albus had helped a lot with the adding of new rooms and was even kind enough to add a potions lab for her. The bottom half of the building was now the centre where the top half was her home. It had been a lot of hard work and long days but now the place was ready to open.

Hermione finished the last thank-you note and invitation to the opening next week and stood from the chair to stretch. They could wait until tomorrow to post, after all she would need to use the school owls to send them all. She had felt uneasy the first few times she had went to Hogwarts since her encounter with Severus but with the reassurance that he had left for the summer from all the remaining staff she felt more comfortable. He would be returning in just over a week, it was one of the reasons why she had rushed setting up the centre. He had donated a quarter of the money raised, which was also the most that any one donated. It would be rude of her not to invite him to the opening, so she had, but what could she do if he wasn't back for it? Yes it was the coward's way but had she not needed the money to pay for the new furniture and the potions equipment she would have refused his money in the first place.

Hermione moved to sit on the window seat; from here she could see Hogwarts. She would never forget the first time she set eyes on the magnification castle. Her, a first year muggle-born had only heard of magic in fairytales, but as she had stared up in amazement she vowed to learn everything there was to do with the magical world she was being allowed in. But now as she watched the sun set over the castle she knew there was nothing amazing or wonderful about the wizardry world, just heart ache and war.

Severus glared at the paper as if it personally had insulted him. How could he get Hermione to forgive him if she pulled stunts like this? It was a very big coincident that the party was set two days before he returned. He had counted on her Gryffindor sense of doing what was right to see her again but it would seem that she had learnt some Slytherin traits during her stay with him.

When she had rejected him it had hurt a lot more than Severus thought possible, he was so scared when he thought he would lose Alex, it made him realize how much he didn't want to lose Hermione as well. He made himself vulnerable to her as he begged her to forgive him and she had refused him. He couldn't really blame her for doing it. He could see why she was so angry with him; after all he did ruin her life. It was time to explain to her why he had chased Danny off. Explain that he did it for her only.

How was he meant to tell her this when she wouldn't speak to him? If he wrote her a letter, how could he be certain that she wouldn't burn it at first sight? He knew Poppy still spoke to her maybe he could get her to tell Hermione, but he didn't want poppy to know his family business. He would need to write a letter for Hermione and ask Poppy to get her to read it. He only hoped Hermione trusted Poppy enough to listen to what he had to say.

What did he have to lose anyway? He had already hurt Hermione as much as one person possible could. It was likely that the damage he had cause was too much for her to ever forgive him but still she needed to know. Picking up his quill he dipped it in to his ink and began writing the letter before he chickened out.

Dear Hermione,

All through my life I had made some terrible mistakes but getting rid of Danny is not one of them. In fact I feel proud of my actions towards him. Before you screw up this letter let me explain why I feel my actions were the right ones.

Five years ago, my Squib brother, his wife and their young son were killed by rogue Deatheater's. They were seeking revenge against me and used my family to do so. Fortunately for my niece she was away at university that kept her from the same death her family faced. However she was left without a home or family. It was my fault that they were killed, my fault that she was now alone. So I did the only thing I could, I took her in, paid for her education and for her wedding.

I know that I could never right the wrong I had made against her family. It was my actions that got her family killed. Their deaths will follow me through the rest of my life.

I guess you are wondering what this has with Danny but you must understand that Christina was now my reasonability, I had to look out for her, play the part that her father once did. She still lived in France and I agreed she could stay there until her education was over.

It was near the end of her degree when she sent me letters of her being in love with an American man who was living in France at that time. I thought nothing of it until I paid her an unexpected visit.

His name was Danny Mitchell. He had asked her to marry him and she had said yes. When I arrived Chrisy admitted that the wedding was in just a few short days. I wasn't concerned about his intention towards her; after all she was the expriminister's great granddaughter. I slipped him some Veritaserum and he soon explained how he was looking for a rich woman to pay of all his debts. It was also made clear that he was not faithful to Chrisy and had many other lovers.

Upon hearing this, I must admit I got a bit angered and I become rather forceful with him.

The day after he left France without saying goodbye to Chrisy and I was left to pick up the pieces.

This happened just two years ago.

This Danny caused my niece a great deal of pain. When I learnt that he was involved with you a year later, I could not just sit back and watch as he hurt another person who I cared deeply about. You said I was selfish and you were right, I acted in my own want of not wanting this man to touch you. I did not wait to see if his intentions were pure but it was on seeing him again that I discovered that they were far from that. I entered his flat and was met with the sight of him in bed with another woman. I know this must be hard for you to read and that you might not even believe what I am saying, but it is the truth.

As for the matter of sending you away so soon and without your permission, I admit that it was purely a selfish reason for doing so. For I found that through your stay with me I had managed to fall in love. When ever I had felt these feelings before nothing good had come out as a result, I did not wish to see you hurt. In sending you away I saved you from myself. I only taint what I touch and I believed that you deserved so much better than an ex-deatheater and spy. It is now that I realize not only does Alex needed his real mother to love him; it is I who needs you twice as much. I hope with each day that somehow you might start to forgive all the wrongs I have done.

A broken man

S.S

Severus sighed as he waited for the ink to dry; it felt weird to see his feeling written down on paper. He folded up the now dry letter and sealed it with wax. He would now talk to Poppy through Floo and give her the letter. He only hoped that Hermione would read it.

Hermione sat and scrutinize the letter Poppy had just given her. It was from Severus.

"Read it dear, what have you got to lose?" Poppy's voice said from the fire.

"My right to be bitter." Hermione sighed. "I guess I should give him a chance."

"He has resigned from Hogwarts as well, early retirement. I'll let you read it in peace. I'll speak to you soon. Take care." Poppy smiled and then disappeared leaving the flames to return to the yellow they were meant to be.

Hermione moved from her kneeling position on the floor and went to her desk. She took her letter knife and broke the seal. Taking a deep breath she began to read what he had to say.

She reread the letter over and over and then spent several moments in shock. He had loved her all that time, that silly man thought he could taint her. He truly was a troubled man. She was in two minds about the whole Danny situation. Had he cheated on her? Either way it didn't truly matter because she knew Snape wouldn't lye about something as serous as that.

Did she forgive Severus for all that he had done? He seemed to regret it dearly but was he worth forgiving? Her mind was telling her not too but her heart was screaming at her to forgive him. She couldn't just forgive him from one single letter. The damage was still raw to her. Yes, a lot of her problems with him had been a misunderstanding.

Sighing in frustration Hermione wished that he had simple told her he loved her instead of pushing her away. Even though it would seem that Severus had learnt that he couldn't make things go away by putting distance between them. Hermione herself had learnt to grow up during the past two years, having a baby and not being able to play the part of his mother had been a true eye opener for her. She wasn't ready to experience the gift of being able to have a child for someone else. Books couldn't ready her for the emptiness she had felt. Perhaps they both needed time from each other to find themselves.

If she was totally honest with herself she would admit that she still loved Severus and that she had already forgiving him. But it was too late now; any chance of her and Severus being a family together was now destroyed. They couldn't create a family with their past could they?

Well could they?

It was worth thinking about it anymore. Yes, Severus had ended the letter asking her to forgive him and that he needed her, but she had said so many rude things to him. Insulted him so much. She couldn't go to him and hope he would just forget every thing she had said to him. And she couldn't just forget everything he had done.

They needed to start from the beginning.

Hermione got her quill and write her own letter for him.

Dear Severus Snape.

It has been brought to my attention that you have recently resigned from your teaching position at Hogwarts. With this I would like to offer you a job working in my centre as a potions brewer. The wage won't be as much as you are use to and there isn't a health plan, but if needed there is live-in accommodation available for you and your son.

Please reply at earliest convenience.

From

Healer Hermione Granger

Smiling to herself Hermione sealed the letter and sent it off to the ex-potions teacher. Yes, it would be good to start from square one again.

To say that Severus was surprised to receive such a response from Hermione was an understatement; he could not help but laugh as he read her words. She was offering him a job, of all things. The live-in accommodation had thrown him though. Was it to be a reversal of the time they lived together? Her as his boss would never lose its amusement for him. He did not hesitate to accept the job and the live-in accommodation. It was weird, as simple and plane as the letter was it gave him hope as nothing had every done before.

Hermione smiled nervously as both father and son took in their new rooms. They had their own bedrooms, bathroom and even a small sitting area. These rooms were adjoined to her's and the main sitting room and kitchen was to be shared between them. She was surprised that he had agreed to work for her. "Is everything ok? I know it's a bit smaller to your old rooms."

"Every thing is fine Healer Granger." Severus replied as he turned to look at her, amusement playing in his eyes. She had expected there first meeting to be tense and awkward but the air seemed light between them even though there were the unspoken thoughts of the past between them.

"Don't call me Healer Granger." Hermione said meekly remembering when the time she had told him to do the opposite.

He raised an eyebrow at that and then smirked when he replied. "Would you prefer me to call you Boss?"

"That does have its perks, but I think I would like you to call me Hermione." She laughed softly.

"Hermione-" He spoke with a plea. "I-"

"I don't want to talk about the past Severus," Hermione spoke, her stomach doing summersaults. "I want us to start anew."

"Of course."

"Now what do you fancy for dinner?" Hermione asked. It would be hard to settle into life with both Severus and Alex living with her but it was want she wanted. This way she and Severus could start anew and she could also be with Alex.

"I've finished the Skele-Gro." Severus stated as Hermione was cleaning a homeless witch's wound. They had been working together for almost a month now and he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He and Hermione were back to how they use to be pre-Alex. Their friendship was strained at times and they didn't speak about the past at all. She had given him a seconded chance and he found him self falling even further in love with her. "Is that all?"

"Yes thank you, Alex is getting abit inpatient though for his dinner, his exploded three boxes of Scintillating solution." Hermione smiled as she closed the cut on the witch's leg.

"So that's why every thing is so shiny in here. I'll take him upstairs and get dinner ready. Will you be long?" Severus asked as he moved over to the play pen to get his three year-old son.

"No, just got to finish up in here and then lock up for the night." Hermione replied.

Severus left Hermione to it and focused on getting his temperamental son up the stairs.

Hermione squinting into the dark as she lay on her bed, she thought had heard something. She waited silently to see if she could hear it again. She bolted up when the noise happened. It sounded like a moan. Was it Alex? Getting up Hermione left her room and pressed her ear against the door that led to Severus' side of the apartment.

There it was again but it wasn't Alex. It was too deep for it to be, which meant it could only have been Severus. She debated on whether she should investigate or not. Her Gryffindor side won and she opened the door and went to his bedroom.

She could hardly see anything in his room but the light that escaped from the curtains cased a dim outline of the bed and its sole occupant. She could tell he was thrashing about caught up in the mist of a bad dream. Moans escaped his mouth.

Hermione was about to leave the room when a strangled word left his throat.

"Hermione!"

She shook her head in a silent no; he would survive this dream on his own. She would not go to his side like she had done before. It was too soon to be treading down that path again. She left the room and closed the door behind her. She knew she wouldn't sleep anytime soon so she sat in the sitting room on the couch and listened to his cries, praying for him to settle down soon.

so what do you think? I'm abit iffy about this one, didnt really like the flow of it. I know i havent sent emails yet but that cos i normally do it after writing the next chap and well i have to go to the hospital because my mums hurts her back or sumit so i dont have time. But thanks for all the reviews!