At lunch time the five of them were sitting at a table. Buffy, Lexa, Willow, Ampata and Lotion. For once, Lotion wasn't the one being glared at. This time it was Lexa and Ampata, because the first was overly clingy to the latter. While Lexa was cutely feeding Ampata, Tatewaki coolly swaggered over, holding a bush of flowers. Everyone looked at him in surprise, even more so when he knelt down right in front of Buffy. He held out the bush of flowers and said, "Beautiful Buffy Summers . . ." Lexa narrowed his eyes at him in utter frustration. If it wasn't the ex-boyfriend, it was this fool. Willow and Lotion looked surprised, and Buffy did along with a tinge of flattery. ". . . I, Tatewaki Kuno, have looked upon your splendor, and have beheld the sparkling of the sun. Accept this token of affection, will you please date me."
Buffy looked at him with mouth agape, flattered, but not attracted to the guy. Two other men held her attractions - or rather one man and one vampire. "Ah, uh, Tatewki, I-uh, I'm very flattered, but-uh . . . I'm sorry, I'm already interested in somebody else."
Tatewaki's head fell, and then he looked up, saying with tears flowing from his eyes, "Oh, cruel, cruel fate, why dost thou bestow this upon me." Wailing he lunged forward and grabbed Buffy around her waist, pressing his head against her breasts, and while he rubbed it back and forth he said, "Oh, gorgeous Buffy, please, change your mind. I shall make your life easy, I will love you . . ."
At the moment Tatewaki hugged her and pressed his head to her breasts, everyone - which included Buffy and the rest of the people in the lunchroom - looked at his action shocked. Then Buffy screamed, drowning out Tatewaki's speech, "AAAAH!!! He's . . . he's . . . aaah!"
Lexa got up, and slammed her fist in the back of Tatewaki's head, making him bite his tongue, and then jump up with a cry of pain. Buffy hugged herself, shivering, and Willow quickly went over to comfort her. Lexa and Tatewaki stood across from each other, the latter holding the back of his head in pain. "You perverted, son of a- . . ." Lexa started growl, while the lunchroom looked on, including Ampata who looked with large eyes.
Tatewaki forcefully interrupted her, pulling out his wooden katana, and hissed, "You cheap, crude girl! How dare you come between me and my eternal love!?" Lexa gave a growl, and Tatewaki charged, stabbing his blade forward to fast it was a blur. Lexa side stepped, her arm over the blade and punched Tatewaki in his gut, doubling him over with a groan.
With a roar of rage she added an uppercut. He shot up into the air, and crashed through the weak ceiling. "Familiar . . ." he muttered as he flew upward, and then he groaned in pain as he crashed with his back into the ceiling above that, stayed put. "Not familiar . . ." he muttered breathlessly and fell back down. "Aah!" he said, slamming painfully back onto the floor, staying down on his stomach. "Sturdy ceilings over here," he muttered and then slumped further.
Everyone looked at the out-cold, Japanese guy, while Lexa crushed her teeth, muttering, "That chauvinistic Neanderthal, perverted pig, sickening bastard." She then reached down and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his upper body up. She turned to a calmed down Buffy, and he said loudly, "Come on, Buff, for once that troll Snyder can do something /for/ us instead of against us." As Lexa started walking, dragging the half conscious Kuno along, Buffy nodded and got up. Quickly followed by the rest of the group and some other people having been witness, not wanting to miss this for anything.
Lexa dragged him into Principal Snyder's office. "What's the meaning of this!? Summers, you- . . ." the troll started snapping.
"Quiet!" Lexa snapped back and dumped Kuno in a chair where he slowly started coming around. "That bastard here molested Buffy there. What are you going to do about it?"
"Summers, what did you do to provoke this poor exchange student!?" Snyder yelled at Buffy.
"WHAT!?!?!?" all the students screamed at Snyder who backed up at the outburst.
Lotion stepped forward and snarled, "Pig-nosed girl did nothing but say no to date, and curd attacked her. Are you saying, men have right to molest, when girl says no to date!?"
Willow and everyone looked at her, all somewhat thinking along the same lines, 'She's got some female pride after all.'
With folded arms, Lexa added, "And he's not poor, he said he was the 'heir to the Kuno estate'."
"Uhm, uhm . . . I'm sure you misunderst- . . ." Snyder started.
"It's true! I didn't misunderstand anything, he just pushed his face in my breasts for no reason," Buffy told him angrily.
"They're telling the truth, Principal," Jenny Calendar said, entering the office. "I saw it happen too."
Snyder groaned, annoyed that he couldn't bust Buffy for this. "I will reprimand him, now out!"
The students left his office, and Snyder took in the once more clear-headed Kuno. "Now, young man," Snyder told the Japanese rich kid. "You listen here. You cannot go around grabbing girls. I do not know how things go in your country, but here that is a big no-no. You do this again, I will have no other choice but to call the police, and someone up in the hierarchy will undoubtedly come get you from prison and ship you back to . . ." Snyder frowned, shifted to a few of his pages, and having found the right one, he added, ". . . . Japan."
"I apologize deeply for the infraction, it will not happen again, I promise," Tatewaki said, and took a bow after getting up. Snyder then let him go, grinding his teeth in annoyance.
-----
By the end of school day they came across Pike still sitting at the tree. "Pike?" Buffy asked him.
"Huh?" Pike answered.
"What are you still doing here?" Buffy asked him concerned, and somewhat pained.
"Waiting for a guy," Pike answered. Buffy hesitated for a moment, and then she and her friends walked on. Only Lotion stayed behind.
Once they were out of earshot, Lotion said, "You not shoot Xander."
Pike looked up at her, and said, "Huh?" Then what she said registered, and he said, "Of course not, my beautiful Angel! I don't even own a gun. All I'm going to do is talk, and if that doesn't work, beat some sense it into him, so he'll marry you, and you can be happy!"
Lotion blinked at that, processed it, and then said, "Oh, well, you do that." Lotion then walked away smiling; with a bit of luck the guy would succeed in the talking sense part.
-----
Willow was home already. Lexa, Buffy and Ampata reached Buffy's house, and they walked up to the door. Lexa said goodbye to Buffy, telling her not to forget training that night, and to Ampata with a kiss on the cheek, and waved them inside. Once they were from sight, Lexa turned around and walked back down the path. Once he reached the height of the tree he walked over to it and smashed his palm into it. "Whoa, whoa, waaaahh!!" With a dull sound a small man holding a camera lay on the ground. He was wearing an odd approximation of a ninja suit, that didn't manage to cover his face and was a dull purple instead of a more likely black.
"Who are you, and /what/ are you doing here?" Lexa asked him with narrowed eyes.
Shivering the little guy spoke, "I'm Sasuke Sarugakure, and . . . and . . ."
Lexa snatched the camera from him and looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I do believe Cordelia told me Kuno had a ninja for a servant," she said as she examined the camera.
The little guy went to his knees and said, "Master Kuno did indeed send me. Please return my camera. If I don't succeed I'll be punished."
"He asked you to take nude pictures of Buffy!?" Lexa hissed in anger.
"Not nude pictures, just a few so he could admire her!" Sasuke pleaded desperately. Lexa growled and crushed the camera with one hand. "No!" Sasuke called out in horror.
Lexa grabbed him by his head, lifted him up, and kicked him away like a football. She called after him, "If you want to make pictures make them while she walks on the street, that way you don't have to hide either, asshole!!!"
"That annoying little," Lexa hissed, as she started walking to her home. "Now, let's see, should I kick Kuno's ass for this, or does he just have an inept and perverted little servant?" she wondered.
-----
"Yah!" Buffy screamed as she threw her punch. It deflected off of Xander's upper left hand and he twisted into her defense. She jumped back, but he attacked onward. She deflected a blow from him, and grabbed his next punch. He went down though, much to her shock, hitting her legs just above her knees twice with a rapid succession of four kicks with his right leg, making her groan in pain and wobble imbalanced. Then he placed both his feet in her stomach while he still shoved forward, and pulling her along by the hand that was meant to be holding him. She felt his energy accumulate at his feet on her stomach, and she muttered, "Oh, boy." A moment later she was launched across Xander's small gym, only to smack painfully against the wall. "Ow," she said as she slid down and landed on her back and side.
Xander chuckled as he came walking over, taking in Buffy again: her tight workout top left her bellybutton bare, and the tight workout pants were slick in parts with sweat.. Offering his hand he said, "You're getting a lot better, Buffy."
"Easy for you to say," Buffy muttered, taking Xander in. His shorts left his legs bare, his muscled legs, and the shirt was sleeveless - only two straps over his shoulders, allowing her to see his muscled arms and the upper part of his chest. He looked good enough to eat. She grabbed his hand and let herself be pulled up. At the same time she rubbed her sore head, and asked, "Before this, all the martial arts I was taught I did in an instant. But now I still keep getting my ass kicked. Any ideas why that is?" She looked up at him, straight in his very close smiling face and chocolate brown eyes. His scent assaulted her senses, his ver sweaty sent, his oh so masculine sent, and now she was captured by his eyes too. -Bad Buffy!! Look away, look away - damn, those eyes,- she thought feeling a tingling in her gut, and slowly starting to spread.
Xander shrugged, and said, "Like I told you, you aren't as skilled as you think you are. You were fast though, so I guess those who weren't as fast and couldn't follow, thought you and Slayers before you were very good. Plus, don't you have those dreams that are memories of previous Slayers?" Buffy nodded, feeling her lips quirk up, captivated by his explanation, or was it just him. Her eyes flicked for a moment to his muscled arms, with just a light film of sweat on them. She felt the tingling go down toward . . . oh, no, Willow, think Willow! Xander continued, "I guess that means you've got access to their skill as well, before you just got theirs. Now you're being taught something no Slayer before has done; it will take time even for you, although you're definitely going faster anyone else would, and a lot faster than I am if that hyena spirit hadn't dumped a shitload of chi in my body."
"Yeah, I guess so," Buffy muttered, thinking, -Look away, look away.- She breathed in through her nose, and his sent assaulted her senses again. -Oh, god!- No! She just /couldn't/ get wet right now. She just couldn't grow that aroused. She fidgeted, feeling the tingling spread, her nipples harden. -Oh, no, don't step closer,- Buffy thought as Xander got a little closer. She took a step back.
Xander was looking into her eyes. Those beautiful deep pools of blue, that cute nose. God, she was so sexy, so beautiful. She chewed her lip, he didn't know why, but it only made her look all the more sexy. What was that look in her eye? Was it the same attraction he felt? He felt a nervousness in the pit of his stomach, felt himself grow erect. So close the sent of her sweat assaulted his nose. She smelt so good, so incredibly arousing; a hint of something he hadn't ever smelled before. "Buffy," he said softly, while he saw her head shake left and right just a tiny little bit. Of its own accord his right arm moved around her waist.
-Oh, god! No! Willow! I can't do this!- Buffy thought desperately while she felt herself grow more and more aroused, felt butterflies flutter in her stomach, the same butterflies she felt around Angel, only less powerful - except, except, were they growing stronger for Xander by the moment? Yes, they were! And they were fueling her sexual arousal even more. Hearing him say her name just now had sent chills down her spine, so much promise in that one word, just her name. And his arm wrapping around her waist, part of her body just automatically leaned into it. She shouldn't! She shouldn't! Damn, why felt that arm so good, the muscles pushing against the small of her back.
Xander pulled her a little closer, and said with a husky voice that raised Buffy's spirits even more, "I'm in love you with you, have been for a very long time." A moment later his lips touched hers, while she had her arms tightly between them, the only defense for Willow she could muster. His lips felt searing hot, passionate, hungry. His tongue entered her mouth, hot, wet, and demanded her tongue's attention. She felt herself grow hot throughout in an instant, as a tiny part of her kissed back just a bit. This was so different than kisses with Angel; he was cold, perhaps he could even be called clammy. This was a raging inferno of passion she had never felt before. Not with the boys that had been prestige dates for popularity, and not even with Pike. She supposed she had never trained with him like this, never had her inner Slayer fighting passions so stimulated before kissing him. She often found herself . . . 'needy' after a fight, and she had guessed it was the Slayer inside her, not herself.
Oh, god, her panties had to be drenched, judging by what she felt down there. She'd never been this aroused before, not /before/ she started ma- . . . -No! Don't think like that! Willow! Can't hurt Willow! Willow, your friend!- She broke the kiss reluctantly. The two teens looking deeply into each other's eyes, eyes filled with passion, love and /lust/. Buffy shook her head. Her eyes widened with shock as she felt a /bulge/ press against her, followed by a new burst of lust inside her own body. "W-we can't, Xander," Buffy said, trying to walk back, but he kept her put. "Willow- . . ."
" . . . I love very, very much, but I'm not in love with her," Xander answered her, his breath quickening. Dang, he wondered, since when was he such a smooth-talker? He was certain he'd be stuttering the first word normally, except this wasn't normal was it? He was burning with passion, and so was she, and he just needed this, /now/, and it just spilled out - he wasn't thinking, he was just doing. "I'm not her boyfriend, Buffy. Is it fair too keep her best friends miserable just because she's got a thing for one of them?"
Damn, that was some logic. Buffy looked desperate. She wanted him. She wanted Xander Harris! And she wanted him now! "Will- . . ." she managed to get out before Xander placed another searing, hot passionate kiss on her lips, and further behind them. -I'm sorry, Willow, Angel,- she thought, feeling her hunger grow by the moment. -I can't resist.- She grabbed his shirt and yanked it over his head, forcing the two of them apart. Throwing his shirt aside, she admired his chest with a light covering of hair for a fleeting moment, and then looked up in his eyes. A moment later her top went flying, and while kissing each other hungrily they pulled down each other's pants at the same time maneuvering to the middle of the small gym. They paused to untie their laces, then - kissing again - kicked them off and their pants followed.
He wore briefs under his light work out pants, boxer shorts being too cumbersome with basically another pair of boxers above them. Their hungry kissing continued as they sank against each other down to the floor. God, his chest hair rubbing against her nipples and breasts felt so good. When they were on their knees they pulled off each others remaining underwear. His briefs went quickly. He held her wet panties up, smiling at her, and she looked embarrassed for a moment. Then he tossed them aside and pulled her down to the matt, kissing her hungrily, letting his hands roam over her body.
Her grabbed her breasts and stopped for a moment. -I'm holding Buffy's breasts!- he thought with a shock, getting nervous. Her needy moan, and one hand rubbing his chest, his pecks, and the other encouragingly grabbing his back, snapped the nervousness right back out, as his fiery passion returned with a vengeance, setting him aflame. Her rubbed, and massaged her orbs, kneaded them.
"Mmh," she moaned, that felt nice. Then he went down with his hands, while his mouth came down, kissing and licking her breasts and nipples, drawing more moans from Buffy. His hunger was too great to let him linger. He moved down, kissing and licking her taut belly, her bellybutton and further down, until his nose fully took in the sent of her wetness.
-----NC-17 part on my website----
He looked at Buffy's flushed body. Her eyes were closed as she breathed hard, much to his disappointment. Gently he pulled out, and came to the realization they hadn't used any condoms. "Fuck," he cursed lightly as he lay down next her, noticing the small amount of blood on his now flaccid penis. There were a few drops on her vagina as well.
Buffy opened her eyes and turned her head to regard him. "Was I good?" she asked uncertain.
Xander chuckled, and as he rubbed her tummy he told her, "Buff, you were amazing. And me?"
"Oh, god, yes," Buffy answered and then looked confused at him.
"We weren't safe," he said slightly fearfully.
"Shit," Buffy whispered looking down at herself. "I'll have to get a morning-after pill." She frowned and looked at him, "Your were still a virgin, right? No Chinese girls?" He shook his head. "Then diseases shouldn't be a problem," she said with relief, putting her head back down on the mat. The not so pleasant possibilities of the incredibly pleasant action they just undertook made her think of more unpleasant consequences. "Oh, god, Willow, what am I going to tell her? I'm evil," Buffy said out loud, guilt starting to eat away at her.
Xander pulled her into a spoon-position hug, and whispered, "She'll get over it, and she'll forgive you. She knows I wanted you for so long, she won't be able to hold a grudge, she's my best friend too you know. She wants me happy as well."
Buffy bit her lip, and whispered, "And Angel?"
"What has he got to do with it?" Xander asked putt off.
Buffy turned and looked at him. "I've fallen in love with you," Buffy said truthfully, the flutters in her stomach attesting to that. "A few weeks ago, probably. But I still love Angel too, I'm sorry, I can't help it. I feel guilty toward him too."
Xander gave a hurt sound, while his heart crumbled, and he said, "But you're broken up, you're not even a couple anymore."
"I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" Buffy asked, hurt.
He put her face against hers, and said, "Sure, but I still can't see what you see in the lying, manipulating coward. Will you please get over him soon?"
Buffy sank deeper against him, then pulled back and said, "Why do you always have to be so denigrating to him?"
"I'm not, it's the truth!" Xander protested getting angry, the pain in his heart that she still loved the corpse after sharing this making him lash out. "He was hiding in the damn shadows all the time before vacation. I had to drag his dead ass out of his couch at cross point to get him to lead me to you when you faced the master. Then when I performed CPR on you, the bastard said I had to do it because he didn't have any breath! He speaks doesn't he! His body doesn't need to take out oxygen. He'd be better at it. And if he really couldn't, he could still have done the heart contraction, and he wouldn't do that either! He risked your life so he could look good to you instead of admitting he didn't know CPR, so I could have given him pointers!"
"You're lying!" Buffy said, sitting up, upset and angry.
"I'm not lying!" Xander exclaimed angrily getting up, and Buffy followed him. "What is it!? What is it about the corpse that has you so infatuated with you think your best friend would be lying to you about this!?"
"Perhaps because he's so strong he doesn't need to lie!" Buffy accused, not knowing why she was getting so worked up about this, why the tears tung in her eyes, why Xander was so angry after they shared this.
Xander laughed, the pain in his heart growing that Buffy still considered Mr. Demon-animated Corpse stronger than him. "That's rich, I can kick his ass whenever the hell I want to!" Xander called out, wanting to stop, but not being able to. Something irrational inside him wanted to hurt the girl that was hurting him so now, even if he loved her. "In fact, I did!"
Buffy shrank back, grabbed up some of her clothes, as she asked, "What did you do!?"
"You really want to know!?" Xander told her grimacing, hurting more that she apparently felt the need to get away and get dressed.
"Yes, I want to know!" Buffy said as she got her bag, and pulled out her regular clothes rapidly. She wanted to get out of her before she started crying. She wanted to just put distance between them. This had been such a mistake! She felt crushed, guilt overwhelming her, guilt for Willow, guilt for Angel, and guilt for Xander that she had let her passions get the better of her, and she had done this with him before she had banished Angel out of her system.
"I kicked his ass the moment I got back to Sunnydale, confronted him on his lying manipulating ways, made him see how bad he was for you, and told him if he didn't break up with you, I'd dust him! /That's/ what I did!" Xander told her, feeling his heart break in a million pieces at the sight on her face.
"You didn't!" Buffy said, shaking her head, pulling a shirt of her head. "You didn't!"
"I did," Xander said softly.
"You bastard! You fucking bastard!" Buffy screamed stuffing her workout clothes into the bag, and walking to the door. "I can't believe you did that! You destroyed what had with him, just because you wanted me! You sick . . . you . . ."
"That's /not/ why I did it!" Xander protested desperately. "He was a liar and a manipulator! A 240-year-old coward who went after a sixteen-year-old girl!"
"Like you're any better!" Buffy shot back, before she could pull it back. Deep down she knew it wasn't true, just like she knew Angel wasn't as bad as Xander made him out to be, even if he /had/ lied. The pain he saw in his eyes at that accusation hurt her just as much, but her anger quenched it aside. She ran out of his apartment and slammed the door closed behind her.
Xander started pacing back and forth through his apartment, naked, feeling pain and desperation mount in him. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, and finally he lashed out. He slammed his fist into his wall, making a good dent, and then he sank to his knees, crying. He sobbed deeply, tears streaming down his face, shaking his head 'no'. This just couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. He rolled up in a fetal position, crying even deeper, going over what had just occurred. Then he mumbled, "I'm not like my father, I'm not like my father. I'm not like him."
-----
Outside, Buffy leaned back against the door, sobbing. Tears ran down her face, shaking her head, mumbling, "This can't be happening. It just can't. It was so good." Then she quickly walked away, heading for home, crying all the way. Why had she done it? What did he have to look and smell so good? She was in love with him, she knew, but she was angry with him, and she was pretty certain he didn't want her back anyway, after calling him no better than Angel. She kept going over the scene; why had he gotten . . . oh . . . What if he had told her; 'This was great, Buff, but I just fell in love with Lotion, you know, you wouldn't mind sharing me with her till I can make up my mind, do you?' New sobs came from the depth of her being, and she sank to her knees, saying, "My fault, all my fault. Why? Why couldn't I have controlled myself. Stupid, stupid! You screwed this all up . . . Willow . . . oh, god, Willow!"
A new wave of guilt crashed down over her and she got up, crying, running in a different direction. She had to confess, Willow had to forgive her, she just had to.
A few minutes later, Willow's mother opened up the front door. "I need to speak to Willow," Buffy said, teary-eyed, dropping her bag to the ground.
"I guess- . . ."
"Thanks," Buffy said and walked passed her without much thought. She stumbled up the stairs and went into Willow's room.
Willow was a little startled as her door opened, and concerned as a tear-stained Buffy entered her room. "Buffy!? What's wrong!? What happened?"
The guilt threatened to crush Buffy as she choked out, "Willow, I- . . . Oh, god Willow."
"What!? What is it!?" Willow asked, searching into Buffy's crying eyes, getting very, very concerned now, fearful even. Was Xander hurt? Or Giles? Who? What? Where?
"Please, forgive me, Willow. You have to forgive me," Buffy cried out, hoping.
"What? What do you mean!?" Willow asked, getting an inkling, starting to feel a pull down into a black abyss.
Buffy saw Willow already putting things together. She sank to her knees, crying harder and said, "It's my fault, all my fault, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. You have to, please?"
Buffy watched Willow grow pale, and she demanded, "What is it, Buffy? What is it? Tell me now!"
Buffy choked on a few sobs, and said, "I-I . . . f-forgive me . . . I-I'm s-s-sorry, I sl-sl-sl-slept with Xander." Buffy watched as Willow went rigid. "I had sex with him. We w-were training, and h-h-he s-sm-smelled so good, a-a-and I c-c-couldn't resist." Buffy crawled forward, grabbing for Willow's hand looking pleadingly.
Willow pulled her hand away and angrily said, "You bitch!"
"N-no, please forgive. I'm s-s-so sorry. W-will never happen again- . . ." Buffy cried out.
"Get out! Get out now!" Willow yelled, rage clearly on her face.
"We had a big fight, Will," Buffy pleaded desperately, "he hates me now, w-we're not together. You can still have him."
"GET OUT, YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH!!" Willow screeched, putting her left hand on Buffy's face and pushing her back, making the Slayer fall back on her side. "Get out! We're not friends anymore! GET OOOOUUUTT!!"
Buffy stumbled back to her feet, back to her knees again as she went through the door. Then back up again, sobbing and crying, stumbling down the stairs as she felt as if her life just crumble down around her.
Willow looked at the empty doorway, and then felt the maelstrom of depression grip her and pull her now. Tears sprang in her eyes. She sobbed first, and then cried hard, falling on her pillow, crying onward. Xander and Buffy. Buffy and Xander.
-----
Absentmindedly Buffy picked up her bag, and then ran away from Willow's home crying. Half way to nowhere she slowed down, stopped and then bent forward, leaning her hands on her knees. She cried more. Xander hated her. Willow hated her. She had no one anymore, all because of her own stupid fault, because she couldn't contain her baser emotions. The two best friends she had ever had she lost. She choked out sobs, crying loudly, having difficulty breathing, gasping for air amidst sobs. She sank down to her knees, and bent further until her forehead hit the pavement. How could she have let his happen? She didn't want to go home like this; there was no way she could deal with her mother right now. Giles was equally out of the question. Willow or Xander, that's who she would have gone to . . .
-----
Angel opened the door to his apartment. His eyes widened when he saw the sobbing Buffy. "Buffy! What happened?" he asked with concern, feeling his unbeating heart fill with pain and love.
"So, is it true?" Buffy asked him through the tears. "Did he have to drag you at cross point? Would you just have let me die? Did you lie about the CPR?" Angel felt himself fill with guilt in an instant, looking down at the ground ashamed, then nodded. Buffy laughed through her sobs hysterically. "Can I come in?" she asked then.
"Of course, of course," Angel said, gesturing. Buffy walked into his apartment and looked around. She turned back to him.
The tears welled up with greater power, and she sobbed, "Willow didn't forgive me."
"Didn't forgive you for wh- . . ." Angel started taking a step forward, and only then did he let what he'd been smelling penetrate his brain. He felt his heart break yet again, as he stated, "You slept with Xander."
Buffy nodded, sobbing with ever upward heave of her head. "He was so hot, so sexy, we were training, he smelled so goo- . . . so good. I couldn't resist."
Angel stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. She cried harder, burying herself in his embrace. "You in love with him?" he asked with pain in his heart.
Buffy nodded, sobbing, splattering some tears on his clothes, and she said, "Yes, he stuck with me, saved my life, was my friend even after I turned him down for the dance. And lately . . . I love you too. I love you both." Angel's heart broke yet again. It hurt hearing her say that, that she was in love with Xander, a guy he knew was much better for her. Buffy continued, crying and sobbing, "Willow didn't forgive me, she hates me. Xander and I had a huge fight - about you." Buffy cried harder and deeper. "I have no friends anymore, I have no friends anymore."
"Ssh," Angel soothed. "They're still your friends. They'll come around."
Buffy shook her head in denial, and anger gripped Buffy then, hissing, "That manipulative bastard. He broke us two up, just so he could get to me. He's just as much a liar and a manipulator as you, you stupid bastard." She dug back into him.
For a brief moment Angel's heart flared, thinking could let her think that, and drive a wedge between her and Xander, then guilt crushed him again. No, he had let fear of rejection guide him long enough, lied too much already. Time to start being honest. "No, Buffy, he didn't," Angel said painfully. Buffy looked up. "I still remember that determined face when he was here, and the very true words that he spoke, they've been haunting me every day since then, 'So, jealous or not, in love with or not, do you think anyone who cares about Buffy would let a sickening, lying, spineless bastard like you get his claws inside of her, hmm?' That was after he told accused me of my lies, and my . . ." Angel shook his head in pain. "Those weren't the words of a manipulator, Buffy. He might have hoped he'd have a chance after I was out of the picture, but that's not why he did it. It was because I was horrible, and don't deserve you." Buffy had lessened her crying just a bit, tiptoed up, and kissed Angel on the lips. "Buffy, I'm not good for you," Angel told her. "We're bro- . . ."
"Shut up," Buffy told him angrily pushing into him. "I have to choose between a lying cheating bastard, and a lying cheating bastard who both love me very much. He threatened to dust you, even if it was what he thought was for my own good. He deliberately is keeping Ampata away from me, even if I'm not attracted to him. Even if you were lying. He's no better than you."
"Oh, no, he's much better than me," Angel answered her sadly. "If it isn't his morality, it's what I am - I can't be in the sun, I- . . ."
"Just shut up and let me cry," Buffy said, breaking down again thinking of Willow.
To Be Continued . . .