Chapter Thirty: Zhang Fei's Letter
More repercussions follow, when the Second Tiger of Shu attempts some scheming of his own.
Sun Shang Xiang spotted her oldest brother's ponytail long before she saw the other familiar details of Jianye. Aside from Sun Ce and his hair, however, no other officers could be discerned. It appeared as if the Wu welcoming committee was too busy elsewhere to provide much of a reception for its own princess's return. Sun Shang Xiang started to feel huffy…before she remembered the plan she'd been contemplating over the entire course of the journey down the Chang Jiang.
Up until that point, she hadn't quite decided whether to try it or not; the idea had seemed too desperate, too crazy, too…downright stupid, if she had to be honest. Many times, she'd been ready to dismiss it and just accept her fate: a lifetime's worth of nagging and lectures at the hands of the indomitable Lady Wu.
But now, here was Sun Ce, unshielded by the cleverness of Zhou Yu or the common sense of Sun Quan, as he waited for his sister's ship to dock at the harbor. The swaggering first prince made too good a guinea pig for Sun Shang Xiang to simply pass up this opportunity. Besides, it couldn't hurt to at least try, could it?
"Phoenix." Where was her trusted second when she needed her?
After several seconds, Phoenix at last emerged, gingerly holding Liu Chan in such a way as to suggest that the innocent babe might explode at any given second.
"Here, Lady Sun," the frazzled captain-turned-baby-sitter coughed weakly, her nose scrunching in disgust when Liu Chan burped and began drooling.
Sun Shang Xiang didn't look too thrilled herself…but she had a show to put on here. Unhappily, she transferred Liu Bei's only son from Phoenix's inexperienced arms into her own, equally clumsy ones. Meanwhile, her ship had lowered its anchors and her brother was already eagerly leaping onboard to greet the younger sister he hadn't seen in over a month.
"Hiya, Little Sis…or should I say, Little Queen?" Sun Ce called out exuberantly, a huge smile lighting up his face.
Sun Shang Xiang tried to emulate his cheerfulness, but her own smile fell sadly short of her brother's, and slipped off altogether when said brother observed, "You know, Little Sis, he's just a baby, not a firecracker."
Sun Shang Xiang reluctantly looked down at Liu Chan. Battle-hardened though she was, even she had to cringe when she saw that the infant had stopped slobbering all over her arms, and instead begun wailing in outrage at being held in such an undignified way.
"Oh, be quiet," she grumbled irritably at her laughing brother, while at the same time juggling her stepson in her arms, trying to find a more comfortable position for the both of them.
What a nuisance babies were! And now her mother was expecting her to bear a baby of her own! As Sun Shang Xiang silently fumed and wailed that she was too young to be saddled with offspring, her brother's voice broke into her inner monologue.
"I don't think your precious Xuande will be dancing for joy once he hears how horribly you've been abusing his son," Sun Ce teased, as he led his sister and her crew off their ship.
Sun Shang Xiang made a sour face at him.
"He's my son, too," she snapped unconvincingly.
Sun Ce paused to wag his finger reprovingly in front of her face.
"Careful of what you say, Little Sis," he warned, adding in a mischievous tone, "Wouldn't want you to be haunted by the offended ghost of Lady Gan. Or was that Lady Mi who popped out the little booger?"
Sun Shang Xiang took a deep breath. Here was her cue to begin the charade.
"What are you talking about, you idiot?" she huffed, trying to sound insulted even as she steadfastly avoided looking him in the eye. "This is my and Xuande's son, Liu, ah…"
A little girl ran past, shrieking with laughter, "Bang zhu wo! Help me! Help!" as she ran from the tickling menace that was her older brother.
"…Liu Bang," Sun Shang Xiang improvised unthinkingly. "This is my son, Liu Bang. Lady Gan had nothing to do with him."
Sun Ce almost fell down when he heard the child's unusual name.
"Liu Bang?" he screeched incredulously. "You named the poor brat after the first emperor of the Han?"
Sun Shang Xiang reddened noticeably when she realized her mistake.
"Ah…why not?" she stammered defensively. "Xuande's a descendant from the Imperial House of Han; there's no shame in naming our son after a glorious ancestor."
Her pitiful excuse only caused Sun Ce to whoop even harder, and his unrestrained guffaws exploded with such volume that Phoenix, Zhao Yun, and Xi Tian, walking several paces back, all looked up in surprise.
"Will you shut up?" Sun Shang Xiang hissed in annoyance, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment at her goof-up. "You sound like a lunatic, I swear you do!"
Her brother finally calmed down, and as he escorted his sister toward her carriage, he also began to merrily poke holes into her story.
"First of all, nobody would have the audacity to name her son after the great Emperor Gaozu," he began. "Second of all, not even you could have had a kid in just thirty days! I may not know much about these types of things, but I do know that it's physically impossible for a woman to get pregnant and give birth over the period of a mere month."
"Lastly," Sun Ce flashed an impudent grin, "Liu Bei brought his son, Liu Chan, with him when he came to Wu for the wedding, and I'm not so blind that I can't recognize the little brat, even if you have fattened him up considerably. Hell, Little Sis, what have you been feeding the poor thing?"
Sun Shang Xiang's face fell.
"Great. If even you weren't stupid enough to believe me," she moaned in despair, "then there's no way Mother will believe my story."
So much for it not hurting to at least try!
Cao Cao didn't particularly enjoy visiting sickbeds. Nor did he have the spare time, lately, to visit others' sickbeds. But, for the sake of keeping up appearances, the king of Wei found himself one afternoon making time out of his busy schedule to pay a visit to Lord Xi's chamber.
Jiang Wei and his mother were already at the consumptive man's bedside when Cao Cao was announced. Mother and son, though initially caught off-guard by this unexpected arrival, nevertheless did not forget their courtesy amidst their surprise.
"My lord Mengde," Jiang Wei bowed respectfully, and the kindly Mother Jiang hastened to follow in her son's example.
Cao Cao ceremoniously raised both of his subjects, pleasantly declaring that he was undeserving of such a warm welcome.
"How is Lord Xi doing?" he finally asked, looking past Mother Jiang's plump shoulders and at the worn old gentleman tossing and turning fitfully on his bed.
The pallor of death was upon Lord Xi's fragile face, and already, ugly bluish hues were making encroachments upon his cracked lips. His loosened hair looked very white under the harsh glint of the sun, and his skin appeared as faded and brittle as a worn scroll. There was little hope for recovery, and Cao Cao saw that all he could do now was pray that the old man's daughter might be retrieved before the House of Death claimed yet another soul.
"Dr. Hua has prescribed a tonic, and the servants are brewing it right now," Jiang Wei spoke up.
As if to prove his words, the handmaid Firelight somberly entered at that moment, carrying a medicine tray in her hands. She dipped slightly in a curtsey for the guests present, before striding toward her master's bed and raising his head so that he might take in some of the bitter black brew. Her attempts at spooning the remedy into Lord Xi's mouth proved futile, as the hot liquid instead slid out of his closed lips and trailed messily down his jaw and chin.
While the alarmed Firelight frantically dabbed at the coughed-up medicine with her crimson handkerchief, Jiang Wei added sadly, "Dr. Hua says that Xi Da Ren's recovery, however, will depend largely on his strength of spirit, and not on any earthly pills or potions."
Cao Cao sighed heavily, a grave witness upon this scene of sickness and suffering.
"General Xiahou Dun is one of my most trustworthy officers; he'll be able to find Xi Gu Niang and bring her back to Wei in no time," he declared with just the right amount of confidence and respect. "Perhaps her return will give Lord Xi the strength to combat this treacherous illness."
Before Jiang Wei could respond, a feminine figure, clad in shimmering yellow silk and wearing a cluster of violets in her braided hair, appeared at the doorway. Ying Ying smiled sweetly and dropped a curtsey by way of greeting, and Cao Cao, recognizing Sima Yi's perfectly delectable little handmaid, swept an admiring look in her direction. For all his youth, Sima Yi nevertheless seemed to be a man of impeccable tastes, be they in strategies, teas…or women.
"Your Majesty," Ying Ying began in a charming voice, "my lord Sima Yi humbly requests an audience with you."
Cao Cao inwardly delighted at being presented with this most opportune excuse for leaving Lord Xi's sickbed early. Outwardly, however, he turned to the trio of Firelight, Jiang Wei, and the boy's mother, and put on his most apologetic face.
"Do inform me if his condition changes," he murmured politely, before standing up and following Ying Ying out of the room.
Once they were at the hallway and safely out of earshot, Cao Cao demanded, "What has Zhongda discovered that's important enough to tear me away from Lord Xi's side?"
"I apologize on my lord's behalf, Your Majesty." Ying Ying curtseyed again. "All I know is that he's just received a letter which his spies have intercepted from a Shu caravan that was heading for the province of Changshan. My lord seemed rather agitated when he read its contents, and bade me come to you at once."
"That bastard Cao Cao must've been so smug in his little palace in Xuchang, thinking he's got his spy planted firmly amongst our ranks," Zhang Fei bellowed, working himself up to a blustering rage and nearly wearing a hole into the ground with his furious pacing.
"Well, let's see if my plan can wipe that smugness right off his ugly old dog face! When his henchmen discover that caravan I've sent out, there's no way he'll be able to trust any of the reports he might've received from Orchid or Lotus or Crab Apple Blossom or whatever the hell kind of flower she's named after!"
Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang listened in dismay as the rash Second Tiger bawled his scheme out.
"Yide," the virtuous king of Shu finally said in a soft murmur, "what have you done?"