Chapter Thirty-Three: Entrance of the Lady Dowagers
Autumn showers transform into verbal thunderstorms, with the arrival of old hometown acquaintances.
"Yun Er!" Dowager Sun hollered in a burst of righteous anger, her accusing hands jabbing in a flurry of motion while she continued to chastise, "Yun Er, how could you do such a foolish thing? How could you disgrace all of Changshan like this!"
The stout matron plowed determinedly across the garden as she spoke, pushing her distressed, umbrella-wielding handmaid into a sprint in order to keep up with such a force of nature. Zhao Yun watched their progress with wary eyes, instinctively stepping before Xi Tian in a protective gesture, as if hoping to defend her from the old lady's wrath.
And Dowager Sun certainly did look to be in a wrathful mood as she charged into the pavilion, which suddenly felt too small to contain her mighty presence. Her bosom was literally heaving with a mixture of indignation and wounded pride, as she wailed into Zhao Yun's face, "Yun Er, how could you be so thoughtless? So irresponsible? So rash?"
As if to emphasize her words, a peal of thunder suddenly sounded at that moment, and the autumn shower, which had begun to wane, now picked up again with renewed vigor. Dowager Sun's handmaid darted an uneasy look at the angry black sky, and began to suggest timidly, "Lao Tai Tai(1), perhaps we should go inside…"
"Hush, Que Er," Dowager Sun ordered irritably, afterwards soliloquizing to nobody in particular, "Aiya, young people today can be so impetuous sometimes! What is this new generation coming to?"
How was Zhao Yun supposed to respond to such an indictment, and still remain civil of speech? As he shuffled his feet in awkward silence and tried to think of a proper answer, Que Er, looking somewhat embarrassed by her mistress's bold accusation, spoke up again.
"Lao Tai Tai, it's getting too chilly and damp out here; you'll surely catch a cold…" she began in an effort to distract the old lady.
"I said hush, child," Dowager Sun snapped, then refocused her attention on the hapless warrior standing before her.
"Now, I know you boys are all cocksure and hot of blood, but Yun Er, how could you go ahead and do such a bold and utterly disastrous thing?" she demanded accusingly, her still-sharp eyes zooming in on the slender figure in pink whom Zhao Yun was trying to shield from view. "Is that her, Yun Er? Aiya, how could you! She's a pretty little chit, but nothing to lose your head over and throw your reputation away for!"
"Ah…" Zhao Yun didn't know what to feel more chagrined over—the fact that Dowager Sun was about to descend on Xi Tian like a mother hen on an unsuspecting caterpillar…or the fact that she had just repeatedly called him "Yun Er" in front of the aforementioned Xi Tian.
Fortunately for him, a second aria of thunderclaps interrupted before he would be required to oblige with a satisfactory explanation. The handmaid Que Er, bless her sweet little heart, took this opportunity to once again entreat her mistress to retire into the house.
"Lao Tai Tai, please," she begged plaintively. "Let's go inside; you'll catch a cold out here in this frightful weather."
"She's right, Lady Dowager," Zhao Yun agreed hastily. "I couldn't bear the responsibility of knowing I'm the sole cause for keeping you outside in such a thunderstorm."
Without giving the old lady a chance to protest, he quickly grabbed Xi Tian's hand and whisked her out of the pavilion. The pair took a shortcut toward Zhao Yun's apartments, and Dowager Sun had no choice but to follow them, grumbling and muttering under her breath the entire way.
The group had almost arrived at its destination, when a Shu soldier came flying out of the gates to warn his superior of something.
"General Zhao! General Zhao!" It was the most pitiful cry in the world, and Zhao Yun knew with a sinking heart that the evening had just taken an inevitable turn for the worse.
"Is something wrong?" he asked in his calmest voice, as behind him, Dowager Sun crossed her arms and huffed.
"I'm so sorry, General! I…I tried to stop them, but there were too many…And you always said how we should never raise our hands against women…" the little infantryman whimpered helplessly.
Zhao Yun pushed past his subordinate and marched bravely inside, with Xi Tian and Dowager Sun in tow. It was a move he would find himself regretting mere seconds later, when he saw, to his abject horror, the horde of Changshan matriarchs crowding about his quarters.
As if on cue, they all looked up the minute he stepped into the room. A wave of brightly-embroidered silks and heady perfumes promptly descended upon him, as the ladies chorused in one voice, "Yun Er!"
Sima Yi paced restlessly around one of the Wei palace's innumerable pleasure gardens, his black fan a small typhoon of nonstop motion. His planning had been so careful, so painstaking; how could one small letter so thoroughly endanger the success of all his hard work? It couldn't be a simple coincidence that Liu Bei had entrusted such a seemingly innocent letter to so inexperienced an officer, or that the messenger caravan to Changshan would be so conveniently decorated with such eye-catching, gold-fringed brocade—no, that must have all been part of some greater ploy…
So, the great and all-knowing Zhuge Liang had somehow caught on to Wei's scheme!
Before Sima Yi could continue, the soft sounds of weeping broke into his inner monologue. The youthful strategist glanced around, and had no trouble discerning a petite shape crouching beneath a tiny carved mountain. A closer look identified her as one of the palace handmaids…and what a pretty little thing she was!
"Gu Niang, why are you crying?" Sima Yi stepped closer and asked, a bit curious despite himself.
Such a lovely creature must be a favorite of at least two or three of the Wei generals; surely a handmaid with such a high position could find little to be distressed over?
The crying girl looked up in surprise, abashedly wiping away some lingering tears from her cheeks.
"Oh!" Her red-rimmed eyes widened in recognition, and she must have felt safe and sure of her charms upon identifying Sima Yi as another young bachelor to be won over, for she proceeded to put on her most vulnerable face and sob forlornly, "Ying Ying Jie Jie(2) just slapped me for no reason!"
Sima Yi lifted a puzzled eyebrow. Ying Ying? His own sunshine-tempered Ying Ying?
"Surely there must have been a reason," he said neutrally, but the girl beneath the stone mountain indignantly shook her head.
"No, no reason at all," she insisted with a sad sniffle. "I only said something, and then Ying Ying Jie Jie called me an idiot and slapped me!"
Sima Yi still looked unconvinced that his favorite little goddess in yellow silk should strike a fellow handmaid, unprovoked.
"What did you say?" he asked cautiously.
"All I did was mention a rumor I'd overheard about the Shu general Zhao Zilong getting—"
The dainty little handmaid never finished her sentence: Sima Yi furiously backhanded her into silence before she could repeat any dangerous rumors.
"Ying Ying should have cut off your lips, you stupid bitch!" he hissed, as the shocked girl clutched at her swollen red cheek and cried in frightened silence into her handkerchief.
This elicited little remorse from her attacker, as Sima Yi only glared down unsympathetically at her pitiful form.
"You will not spread any more stories concerning enemy officers! Do I make myself clear?" he ordered in a harsh, forceful whisper.
The terrified handmaid failed to respond, her body wracked with shuddering sobs which she no longer attempted to muffle behind her handkerchief. Sima Yi shot a disdainful look in her direction, before yanking her up by the ear and coldly snarling through clenched teeth, "Stop howling and listen to me. Never repeat what you might have heard about General Zhao, or by the Heavens above, I swear I'll personally rip your tongue out of your mouth and sell you for a field slave to the coarsest farmer I can find! Do you understand?"
The poor girl could only gulp in some air and nod wordlessly, after which Sima Yi flung her aside and let her snivel in peace.
All this trouble over one letter! he thought with disgust, as he strode just far enough away so as to not incriminate himself with any traces of the weeping maid's voice or presence.
Liu Bei wearily handed a folded message to Guan Ping, which the young warrior took care to store in a small leather pouch secured to his waist.
"Ride as fast as you can, and don't stop until you've reached the Chang Jiang," the king of Shu instructed.
"Ai."
"By the time you arrive there, a boat should be waiting for you."
"Ai."
"Once you're at Wu, seek out General Zhao immediately, and hand him this letter. Tell him not to worry too much over what's happening, and above all, make sure he remains where he is until we've sorted things out."
"Understood." And with that, Guan Ping took off, trotting toward the stable where his father's famed Red Hare was already saddled and awaiting its new rider.
1. Elderly Madam (elderly here is used as a title of respect, to signify veneration and wisdom in old age)
2. Elder sister. In China, it's not uncommon for a girl to call another female with greater seniority, either in age or in social position, elder sister.