Buffy walked into the Bronze, her heart beating like crazy. It had been over a year since she was in the place, since she had deserted her friends. She was sure they would have all been mad at her for leaving and that she would have had to beg for forgiveness. After her brief conversation with them on the phone though she thought that maybe she wouldn't have to. She was sure that she would still have to do a lot of explaining and apologizing though.
As she passed through the crowd she saw a few familiar faces. Some of them smiled at her and she smiled back, others watched her criously. Buffy made her way to the bar first to get a drink before she found her friends. 'I'm probably going to need this before the night is over.' She thought to herself as she waited for the bartender to make her drink. Her eyes searched the club for the friends that she had missed while she was gone and found them sitting at their usual spot.
"Here you go." The bartender said from behind Buffy. She turned around to pick up her drink and then made her way across the Bronze to her friends.
"Mind if I join you?" She asked the four people already occupying the table. They all looked up at her and smiled.
"Hey Buffster." Xander was the first to greet her. "Nice to see you again. Pull up a chair."
Buffy grabbed an unoccupied chair from the next table, pulled it over to the one her friends were sitting at and sat down. "Hi everybody." Buffy said as she sat her drink on the table. The group returned her hello, but then sat in silence, none of them knowing exactly what to say to start the conversation.
"They are still mad at you, you know that right?" Anya, Xander's girlfriend finally stated as everyone's She had that annoying ability to say anthing without it bothering her what people thought. "I'm not. People sometimes just have to get away from their life. I've done it already. I completely understand."
"They aren't mad." Tara said quietly. She was Willow's girlfriend, and the complete opposite of Anya. "Maybe a little disappointed that she didn't tell them she was leaving or where she was after she left, but they aren't mad."
Buffy glanced at Willow and then at Xander. "It's okay if they are mad. I understand." She said just loud enough that she could be heard over the music. "I did a rotten thing. I know that. But that's why I am here now. Spike told me that Dad wanted me to call him, but I knew that it wouldn't be enough after what I did. That's why I'm here now. It was time for me to make things right."
"Spike? Who's Spike?" Xander asked.
"Spike is William." Buffy told him. "You remember William don't you?"
Xander looked thoughtful as he tried to remember who William was. "No."
"Yes you do." Willow spoke for the first time. "He was the boy that lived in the neighborhood that we always hung out with when we were little. He and Buffy had been best friends."
"Oh, that kid." Xander replied after another minute of thinking. "I never really liked him."
"Xander you didn't like any guy that hung out with us. Ever." Willow stated with a roll of her eyes. "How did he happen to run into you in L.A.? Is that where he has been since he left?" She asked directing her attention to Buffy for the first time since the conversation had begun. Willow had been upset that Buffy had left suddenly and hadn't told anyone where she was, but seeing her now, she couldn't stay mad at her. Besides, the topic of William was interesting, she knew Buffy had been heart broken when he had moved away.
"It's kind of a long story, but no, he hasn't been in L.A. since he left. He's been in England since he moved."
"Then what was he doing in Los Angeles?"
"It turns out that he and Angel are cousins. He was passing through and needed a place to stay so Angel's dad set him up with us."
"Did you know it was him when you saw him?"
"Actually, no. We found out who each other was by accident. It turns out that he had come back to the states looking for me. He was just in Sunnydale a few days ago. He talkedd to my father and tried to get in touch with Willow and Xander to see if they knew anything. When he couldn't find me he called his uncle who sent him to Angel's until he decided where he wanted to go."
"Oh!" Anya exclaimed. "That reminds me. Some tall sexy blonde guy had come to the apartment a few days ago looking for you Xander. He said that he wanted to talk to you about Buffy. Well he actually said Elizabeth Summers. I didn't tell him she went by another name, I mean he could have been a creep or something. I just told him that no one had talked to her in a year and that if he wanted to know everything he should talk to Buffy's father."
"You are only remembering this now?" Xander questioned his girlfriend.
"Well it's not like I remember everything. Besides, as soon as you came home you were giving me most pleasurable orgasms. How could anything else be more important?" Xander just shook his head at his girlfriends reasoning.
"So this guy, was it William?" Tara asked. She hadn't lived in Sunnydale when they were little, but the conclusion was easy to come to.
"Yeah. It was him. He had tried to find Willow as well, but her mom was reluctant to share any information with him." Buffy told the group. "So he went to my father and talked to him. He told him what happened."
"So he came back looking for you after all these years?" Willow wondered.
"Apparently. After what my father had told him though he didn't think that he would see me. Part of me wishes that he hadn't. The other part of me is glad that he did, or else I wouldn't be here."
"And where is he at?" Willow asked. She had missed william to for awhile after he left and would have liked to see him again.
"Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that by the end of the week he will be back in England."
"What happened? I thought that if he had come looking for you then he would have stuck around for a little bit when he found you. Did something happen?"
Buffy sighed. She really didn't want to be having this conversation any more. It was starting to make her heart break all over again. "Let's just say that people change, sometimes not for the better."
"Was he mean to you? Did he hurt you?" Xander asked trying to sound strong and manly, but not really achieving the effect.
"Maybe a little mean, but I deserved it. I started the whole mess. It's my fault that he decided to go back to England. I was a jerk to him. I treated him like he was worthless, like he didn't deserve to be around me. I chased him away." Buffy inhaled deeply as she fought the urge to cry. "I loved him." She told the group sitting at the table. Suddenly she wanted to talk to her friends, to get out the truth about everything. "When he came to tell me that he was leaving he told me that he would come back for me one day, when he was older. I held on to that hope for twelve years. I know I should have told you guys how much it actually hurt. I should have talked to you about it, but I couldn't. I talked to Faith instead." Buffy noticed the hurt expression on Willow's face. "I'm sorry. It was easier to tell Faith, because she didn't know him and she couldn't make excuses for him about why he hadn't come back yet. I used to wish on everyone of my birthdays that he would come back to see me that year. When I left, that was when I had finally lost all hope that he would be back."
"But he did come back." Tara stated. "What happened between the two of you?"
"Things didn't go as planned. We didn't recognize each other. We found out who the other was by accident. He figured it out first and was mad at me for leaving the way I did. He never told me who he was. I figured it out a short time later. When I found out that he knew and didn't tell me I blew up. From then on, I was rude to him. I guess he finally had enough and decided that it wasn't worth the trouble and went back to England."
"The two of you were so close when you were little. I didn't think that would happen." Willow's voice was sad and full of remorse for her friend.
"It was my fault. He was there and he was trying to hard to get me to talk to him. He apologized for everything, even things that weren't his fault. I wanted to be nice to him, to his friend again, maybe something more, but I was scared. He hurt me, and I know it wasn't his fault, but I was afraid that it would happen again. I wouldn't let him get close to me. I did everything to keep him away. I guess he finally had enough and he left. After everything I did not to get hurt again, it still did, just as much as it did the first time that he left me." Buffy couldn't hold her pain in any longer and burst into tears there at the table. Willow quickly wrapped her arms around her sobbing friend's shoulders and hugged her.
"Buffy, I'm sorry that it didn't work out." She whispered into her friends ear. "But, things will be okay. They will get better. I mean after all because of him you are here with all of us, right?"
Buffy smiled through her tears. Willow had always been good at bringing out the better points of a situation.
"Yeah." Buffy agreed with her as she pulled out of the hug and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm here with my friends. I missed you guys. I'm sorry I left you all like that."
"Hey, you're back here now. Why don't we just let what has happened in the past where it belongs." Xander said patting Buffy's hand.
"So tell us, Buffy, what have you been doing in Los Angeles?" Tara asked knowing that a change of topic was probably a good way to go.
The group of friends sat at the table in the Bronze and listened to Buffy's story of her life in L.A., after which she asked them what they had been doing since she had left. When they had finished catching up the group called it a night and headed off to home. They all promised to meet again the next day after Xander and Anya were finished with work and Willow and Tara had finished their classes at U.C. Sunnydale.
"Thank you Spike." Buffy whispered to her darkened bedroom as she crawled into her bed. "Thank you so much. I only wish you were here to see what you have done for me."