Chapter 8

Robin fumed as he strained his ears listening to the recording left for callers to the Jump City town hall. "…日�語のため、出版物8…"

(Author's Note: That's Japanese for "For Japanese, press eight.")

The next entry in the recording caught Robin completely off guard. He almost did a double take while holding the phone as he heard, "In order to donate money to help build a memorial statue for Terra, press 9."

While Robin swallowed what the recording had just said, the recording paused and then began to repeat. "You have reached the Jump City town hall. Για τα ελληνικ�, Τύπος ένας. Pour le Français, pression deux. 한국어를 위해, 압박 3. für Deutschen Presse…"

Robin listened three times to make sure he hadn't missed anything. Since there were no other choices in English, Robin pressed "9" on the keypad of the telephone. Another voice (apparently also a recording) began. At around this time, Cyborg and Beast Boy came out of the kitchen, carrying the day's lunch. Robin glanced over and saw a well-blended paste of beef steaks and soybeans, as well as soybean-filled fried eggs and a stack of crushed, ruined pancakes. Cyborg and Beast Boy continued to shout at each other, each accusing the other of ruining the meal.

Robin did not, however, miss the contents of the new recording. "Thank you for taking the time to help us pay for a memorial statue of Terra. Please enter the number of dollars you wish to donate." He got past this prompt by entering "2" and then "0", or 20 dollars.

"Please input your credit card number," the recording ordered. Robin slammed down the receiver and started for the door, forgetting about the lunch. Cyborg and Beast Boy both noticed at the same time. "Robin, where are you going?" they both asked at the same time with one voice. "I'm going to talk to the mayor!" replied Robin. Thinking better of it, he continued, "We're going to ask to borrow his lawyers!"

Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy piled into the T-car, Cyborg driving as usual. Within 7 minutes they arrived at City Hall. Robin led the Titans up the steps and through the maze of halls, doors, and elevators to the mayor's office. After reaching the correct door, Robin put out his gloved hand and knocked three times.

"Who goes there?" demanded the mayor's voice from behind the door.

"We're the Teen Titans! We need your help!" called Robin.

The door burst outward, swinging with lightning speed out and back towards the wall, slamming the Titans (except for Cyborg, who happened to be out of the way) into the wall. "Ouch!" cried Robin and Beast Boy at the same time. The mayor heard their voices behind the door and immediately started to apologize while rapidly pulling the door back away from its position near the wall where it had crushed Robin and Beast Boy. "I'm sor—" the mayor managed to get out, before the door he was pulling back slammed into his leg. "—OW!" the mayor cried out.

A few minutes later, with Robin and Beast Boy bruised in several places and the mayor with a sprained ankle, they were finally able to get down to business in the mayor's office.

"Yes, I heard on the news. The police have been arresting your team…" the mayor was saying. "Why didn't you call me? I could have come over to your place."

"I tried calling City Hall," said Robin, somewhat angrily. "The recording didn't give me any option for English! It said something in eight other languages and then asked for a donation to build a statue of Terra."

"Oh, sorry about that," the mayor apologized. "The languages were part of Jump City's new minority-outreach program. I'm sure you understand the statue donation; after all, your late friend Terra did make the ultimate sacrifice to save hundreds of then-empty buildings. Considering that the real estate in Jump City is worth a total of over four billion dollars, whereas a human life is worth only three million dollars, I'm sure we all see the worthiness of Terra's sacrifice." The mayor smiled sarcastically. "No, actually that part was just a gimmick to raise money for the City to repay its debts." Robin and Cyborg grimaced and did their best to restrain Beast Boy.

"Anyway, as for your case, your friends probably need lawyers who specialize in immigration," the mayor suggested. "I'm the only immigration lawyer around here. That's what I did before I ran for mayor. And, because of who you are, I'll work for you for free."

"Sounds good to me…"

End Chapter.

Author's Note

In case you wonder how I got the $3,000,000 figure:

A newspaper article I read about a year ago said that the U.S. federal government's formula for the value of a human life comes out to about $3 million per person. The article reported that the formula was being revised to eliminate a previous discrepancy which resulted in people over 65 years old being worth about 10 less than people under 65. This value is used for cost-benefit analyses of environmental policy (e.g. giving a financial value to the number of lives saved by "green" policies vs. the financial cost of implementing such a policy). The $4 billion figure is explained in one of my other stories, "The True Value of Terra's Sacrifice."

I ASK YOU AGAIN, WHAT CHARACTER PAIRINGS DO YOU WANT FOR THIS STORY?