Return to Middle Earth
Kayo
Chapter V: Battle Royale
"Shawn, can you hear me?"
Angelic voices were filling the ears of our young hero. That and something that smelt like a compost pile of salt. Shawn tried to bat away the grotesque aroma and blinked his eyes open. There before him were three golden haired Elven captors. While all looked very similar, the boy and girl were both blue-eyed, and Shawn registered them for Silmaril and Legolas. And then there was the green-eyed monster. No really, he was a green-eyed perverted monster who wanted to rape Shawn.
"WHOA! Get that thing away from me!" Shawn nearly jumped out of the bed as Legolas shot a look for Thaniel to back away.
"Shawn, calm down, he is not like Chloe and Nina. Thaniel actually takes orders from a Prince." Shawn froze. Wait…he remembers Chloe and Nina? Does that mean his amnesia is gone?!
Shawn sat up straight, minding his battered tummy. "You know who I am? And everyone else!?" Legolas shook his head up and down. "And Jared and Elidh??" Another nod. "And the fellowship and Merry and Pippin?!?" A beginning to a nod, then a thoughtful pout, ending with a no.
"A fellowship? What are you talking about? And who are Merry and Pippin? I remember a Megan, and that is close to Merry…But I do not know of what you speak."
Bloody brilliant…but at least he knows who I am and I won't die now! Maybe if I show him a picture of someone from the fellowship! Yeah! That would work! Shawn looked around the room for Chloe's pink purse. That thing had a Frodo bookmark in it, if Shawn remembered correctly. That was the day when Legolas learned about the birds and the bees. Good times, good times. He asked Legolas if he had seen the bright pink bag. No, Legolas did not. Silmaril, however, was able to give an answer when Legolas asked the other two Elves.
I remember something of a pink nature in the forest when we discovered you. But we didn't have time to grab it since the area was infested with spiders. It was more important to get you to safety, Silmaril told Shawn (translated by Legolas.)
"Okay, so we need to go get it."
"Why?" asked Legolas, tilting his head like a dumb dog. Valar, he was a dumb dog if Shawn ever knew one…he never really had a dog when he was younger. Poor deprived child.
"Because it has something in it that will make you remember the fellowship, which is a good thing, and then you can send me home…and why is your face so pink?"
"Poison ivy."
"Ouch."
~*~
With much difficulty, Shawn convinced Legolas that he should be brought along to help identify the pink bag they would search for in Mirkwood. It took even more effort just for both of them to leave the palace that next morning. Arguments of That human has a hole through his stomach, to You have amnesia, who knows what else you might have forgotten, and I should go too! You'll need someone to protect the weak!…the last comment was from Thaniel. And much to Shawn's dismay, Thaniel had wormed his way into their party, along with Silmaril, who would NOT let her two patients out of her sight, and the same two guards that had guarded Shawn after he hit Legolas with a chair.
Shawn learned later on that hitting a prince with a chair was most definitely a no-no. The two guards, who Shawn came to find out were named Vilarion and Auberlin, kept glaring at him while they packed their horses. Thaniel was true to Legolas's order and didn't touch Shawn. But that didn't mean he didn't whisper things in Sindarin when he was close, or just happened to have to walk by whenever Shawn was near. I think I finally realize what it's like to be Legolas in my world. At least Legolas offered sympathy towards him, considering that Thaniel was his best friend, and Shawn was a good friend…sort of.
During the ride through Mirkwood, Shawn learned a bit about Legolas's past, not only with Thaniel, but with some girl-elves that Chloe and Nina would kill if they ever met.
"So you snuck out of the palace when you were 2,000 years old to hang out with this Lanfeir chick? And Thaniel was there? Sounds sketchy." Shawn snickered as his horse jumbled his stitches around. Stitches suck. Well said, Shawn, well said.
Legolas rolled his eyes before responding. "It is not as you make it out to be. You see, Thaniel and I have been companions ever since we began training to be warriors. Lanfeir was a warrior in training as well, and well," Legolas blushed a bit, "we both had a crush on her." Shawn snorted. So he had a crush, big deal! It wasn't as if he was going to marry the girl…Elf…
"So who won?"
Legolas gave Shawn a puzzled look. "Won?"
"Who got the girl?"
"Oh well, she told me to meet her behind the archery field at the tallest tree. And well, she tried to kiss me," again, Legolas was blushing. Well, he must've not been kissed, seeing as how Chloe holds that honor. "But I pushed her away and she has yet to forgive me. Thaniel here, however, had no trouble seeing Lanfeir until a couple months ago, when she started liking me again, despite her reluctance to make a relationship with me."
Ahh, the drama of the Elven race.
Legolas continued to explain his past "relationships" which consisted of him holding hands with another girl, which was like making out with someone for Legolas. That explained why Legolas was so freaked out by fangirls with raging hormones. He also explained his weird relationship with Thaniel, who had a hobby of taking the first kiss of anyone he thought was extraordinary. Yeah, that doesn't comfort me in the least bit. Thaniel had a crush on the strange foreigner. Oh the joy.
It was mid-day when the party arrived at the site of where Silmaril's men found Shawn. They dismounted and searched among the brush. The keen Elven eyes spotted traces of spiders, but none to worry about. They had headed deeper into the woods since yesterday. Vilarion, however, found a couple pink threads snatched onto a branch that led where the spiders went.
"DAMNIT!" Shouted Shawn. He needed that bag. It had everything he needed in it! Tylenol for his stomach, a camera, pads…well he didn't need those, though he supposed they could double for like a Band-Aid or something. In any case, the party decided to break and have lunch, discussing whether or not to follow the spiders.
"Legolas, what's this called?" Shawn asked as he bit into a weird bread like thing.
"Lembas."
Shawn lifted up his head and said, "Right," and took another bite. That was the bread that the Elves gave the Fellowship when they left Lothlorien. Uhh, I'm beginning to know too much about Lord of the Rings. Though I bet I would kick ass at LOTR Trivial Pursuit.
Silmaril sat down next to her brother. Both were wearing the royal colors of Mirkwood: brown and green; both in tunics for easy riding. Vilarion and Auberlin, who apparently weren't hungry, decided to scout ahead to see just how far the spiders had traveled, and if it was worth the five of them to go forth. They didn't include Shawn. They were mean. Tch, stupid Elves thinking that I can't wield a sword. Well they didn't see me cut of Elidh-Feredir's head! Damnit, bad memories. Thaniel stood, taking care of the horses and nibbling on his luncheon. Every now and then, he whispered something softly in Elvish to comfort the horses. It was an uncomfortable silence for the human, while the Elves felt quite at peace.
"So, uhh, how about those Yankees?" Legolas gave him a most curious look.
"What are you talking about?"
Shawn shrugged. "I have no idea. Just trying to make conversation." Silmaril said something to Legolas, Shawn didn't know, but they both started laughing and she glanced at Shawn. Ya, go ahead and make your jokes. Stupid Elf.
So he really hugged you while you were away? giggled Silmaril. Legolas thought it was the nicest thing in the world when Silmaril ditched the Crown Princess façade and acted like the sister he knew she was. He hushed her and looked Thaniel's way, making sure he hadn't heard. As if Elves couldn't not hear something.
Shh! He only did it in order to make a guard of some sort pass us by without questioning why we were there. Though I must admit, I was rather taken aback by him. I did not know his language yet and a girl named Chloe translated everything through this machine called a "walkie-talkie." Silmaril smirked.
Oh, so you met a girl there? That really caught her attention. Did that bode well?
Legolas scoffed. Are you sane? They practically tried to straddle me every night! Valar! Never go to that place, Silmaril. They are hormone-driven and reproduce like rabbits! Especially the two: Nina and Chloe!
It was at this time that Vilarion and Auberlin waltzed into the temporary encampment. One, a tall auburn-haired Elf, Vilarion Shawn thought, announced that the spiders were not that far ahead, and that the group was no less than fifty. That would leave ten spiders to each warrior, once again leaving out Shawn. Then again, no one was kind enough to give Shawn any weapons. Damn bastards. The ride was no more than an hour away, if the two Elves estimated correctly; enough time to set up a trap and make it easier to kill the spiders. They saddled up and left for the darker woodlands.
The ride this time was filled with excitement. Elves had no tolerance for the loss of life, but anything that killed innocents did not deserve life, especially spiders. Spiders would eat anything that wandered too far into the woods, which left Elves and forest animals being hunted down. Shawn could see the apprehension on Legolas's face, even beyond the many pink rashes and bruises on his head. Shawn really did a job on Legolas. He laughed softly at his own accomplishment.
Thaniel rode up to Shawn. Legolas kept an eye on them, but was too wrapped up in what Vilarion's plan of attack. Thaniel handed Shawn a belt with a knife pouch attached to the side. Shawn looked at it and then at the green-eyed Elf. Thaniel smiled and rode back towards the front. Well, even if he is creepy, at least he gave me something to protect myself with. Shawn took the knife out of the pouch. It was more of a dagger than a knife. About seven inches long, curved at one end and Elvish writing all along the blunt edges. Even a moonstone was embedded on the hilt. Shawn wouldn't mind keeping the dagger for a while, even if it was a gift from creepy boy over there.
The party made a large loop around the spiders. Vilarion, the most experienced warrior there, gave the orders to how the attack would go down. Silmaril would stay in the trees and shoot down as many spiders as she could. Thaniel, Auberlin, and Vilarion would be the ground force. Legolas would use his arrow and blades to protect the horses. And Shawn would cower in the roots of some tree. Well, that last part wasn't said aloud, but it was assumed among all the Elves. No one, except perhaps Legolas, thought he would run away scared. Plus he was injured. Silmaril would have a fit if he was allowed to fight. Which was of course why Shawn decided that during mid-battle, he would charge onto the clearing and fight if it looked like the Elves were winning.
They sat in silence, or as silent as silent could be. The horses occasionally snorted or kicked the ground, but overall, they were quieter than most horses. Shawn figured it was because they were special Elven horses, but who knew? Silmaril waiting in her tree, hidden from everyone's sight. Auberlin was crouching behind a large boulder, an arrow knocked and ready to be shot. Vilarion was across the clearing from Auberlin behind a tree. And Thaniel was under a fallen tree where the spiders would have to jump over. Legolas and Shawn were basically the bait. How nice.
In a moment, the horses became eerily quiet. Shawn could see all the Elves (in sight) tensing. The spiders are coming. Shawn shuddered. Thank god that Chloe isn't here, she would've had a heart attack and died from giant spiders…hahahaha. A familiar hissing sound echoed around them. Only a couple more minutes before the attack would begin. Shawn stared at where Thaniel lay hidden. The spiders would have to climb over that log. And that's just what they did.
Several spiders crawled along the ground and in the trees. They spotted Legolas and Shawn and instantly let out ear-piercing calls. Pandemonium erupted as Silmaril let her arrows fly, Thaniel jumped from his hiding spot, stabbing spider's head, and the other two Elves loosed their arrows and switched to their knives as the spiders came closer, all at once. Legolas had also taken out his bow and was picking off any spider that strayed too close to Shawn and the horses.
The spiders hissed and lunged at the Elves' legs and arms, hoping to take them down with the limb. Legolas heard a sharp cry of pain and saw Thaniel violently thrusting his knife at the spider biting his shoulder. It rolled off as Thaniel clutched his wound. That wasn't good. The spiders saw the wounded Elf and started focusing their attack on him. Vilarion had taken out his own Elven Blades of Doom and raced over to help his falling comrade. Silmaril had run out of arrows and jumped from her hiding place high in the tree. Upon her landing, she struck down an arachnid in its lower abdomen.
Auberlin was picking off any of the spiders that tried to go near the two other Elves on their way to rescue Thaniel. Legolas continued his volley of arrows at the spiders that were now starting to run away. At least the creatures knew when they were beat. Still, none had the pink bag of Chloe.
Legolas, behind you! yelled Vilarion as a spider jumped out from behind the horses, nearly biting Legolas as he ducked. The spider landed in front of Legolas, a bright pink bag in its clutches. What luck. Legolas aimed his arrow lightning quick and exterminated the evil bug. Success at last as Legolas detached the purse from the mass of spider legs. Silmaril was just finishing off the last of the remaining spiders as they fled back into the woods. They found what they wanted, and there was no reason to chase after the spiders.
The party was relatively unscathed. Shawn came out of hiding, cursing how the battle went to quick and he didn't have a chance to show his moves. Legolas only chuckled. Silmaril had not a scratch on her. Vilarion had a hole in his left pant leg, Legolas supposed from a spider bite, but it didn't look serious. And Auberlin had a knick under his eye from something. But with Thaniel, it was a totally different case.
He was lying on the ground, eyes shut tight and scrunched. Silmaril had already taken on "healer-mode," as Shawn put it and was taking out all her medical herbs. Vilarion and Auberlin were ordered to prepare the horses as fast as they could. Legolas rushed over to his friend. The wound was two blood gushing holes. Silmaril was already putting a paste in them, causing Thaniel to tense.
The saliva of the spiders makes wounds not heal correctly. He will continue to bleed if we don't find a way to clot the blood. We need to get back to the palace. Legolas nodded and ran off to help the other two Elves. With luck, and speed, they could make it to the palace before dark.
Shawn, on the other hand, had no idea what to do. Legolas had the purse over his chest and was untying the horses from the trees. Thaniel looked like he was in massive pain. Been there, done that. Though they didn't bite me. No, don't give me the little bite marks. Let's stick a giant stinger through my stomach to kill me. FUN! … I hope he's alright though.
Thaniel let out another cry of pain as Silmaril put another herb in his wound. Legolas and company led the horses over and gently lifted Thaniel onto Legolas's horse. Silmaril had wrapped a bandage around his shoulder, and Legolas made sure not to touch it. He felt Thaniel's forehead and took his hand away in surprise. He was developing a fever. Not good. The rest of the party was soon ready to go and they galloped off, not minding the poor human boy who had no riding experience whatsoever.
Don't die on me, Thaniel, or I'll be forced to kill you myself, said Legolas as he disappeared into the forest. Shawn slowly made his way towards the Elves.
"Don't leave me…" He lost sight of the Elves. "behind…"
tbc…
Responses to Reviews:
maiden of the mist: Oh, thank you for reviewing! It's nice to know that more people read it. But it's even better when they review, lol. Makes me feel like more people are reading it! You think I'm a good writer? Meh, I went down in my PSAT scores from this year to last year. I blame it all on my teacher.
Das Blume: Hobbits have rights too!! Start the HAPT foundation: hobbits are people too! Lol, I like bondage ^_^ Shawn/Thaniel bondage would make me happy. I should write a sidestory, mwahaha. Are there almonds in Middle Earth? To answer your question, let's turn to my dear friend Scott. Scott?
Scott: It is in my personal opinion that there ARE almonds in ME, only because I saw an almond tree…do almonds grow on trees? I think they do..
lolly pop3: It took me a while to update, only cos I've been doing a lot of reading. That and I'm lazy. And I want to write a novel. Meh, like that's ever going to happen. I'm glad you liked the Thaniel Shawn scene! I liked it too! ^_^
asp: heehee, you make me laugh because you laugh at my pathetic attempt at comedy, lol. Well, actually I laugh because you laugh at Thaniel and Shawn. Gosh I love them.
open eyes: Interesting penname. I wonder if someone has a penname of "closed eyes," lol. And I see you are from Holland. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoa, and we're the same age. Whoa, same sign. This is freaky. Are you my long lost twin? Lol
WeasleyTwinsLover1112: I can't wait to torture Shawn some more. And it will be fun. There will be much rejoicing: yay…feel the happy!
Nina: "Five bucks Jared's off introducing orcs to personal hygenie items before he becomes found again." DUDE, that is so freakin hilarious! Hahahaha, he'd do that too, if the orcs didn't kill him at first. I can see it now, Jared walks up to a band of orcs carrying a briefcase. Lemme write this scene for everyone:
Jared: Dentist-man!
Jared is carrying a brief case down a valley near Gondor. He shouldn't be there, he knows this too well, but the humans at the last village chased him out when he introduced the electric toothbrush. His only chance at selling something is in Gondor. And it just so happens that a band of orcs are on their way to destroy some innocent Gondor villages.
Jared approaches the orcs who are feasting on a dead rug salesman. He can tell by the many colored rugs that are being burned in the center of the orc encampment. The beings of Mordor see the salesman approaching and start to laugh. Another meal on its way, and willing too! The leader, Uglnack, walks out and draws his sort of pointy sword at Jared.
"What do you want, salesman? A quick and painless death? Or maybe we should have a little fun?" There was a round of shouts and approval from the surrounding orcs. Instead of peeing his pants and running for dear life, Jared whips out his brief case and opens it up. The orcs gasp at what they see.
"Hello, my name is Jared, and I am your dental salesman of the evening. Today I would like to show you a magnificent triumph in the dental hygiene area concerning toothpaste. Would you like to have a taste?" Jared takes out a small tube of mint toothpaste and hands it to Uglnack, who is staring at Jared with a bedazzled look on his face. What in the hell was this human doing? Might as well play along.
Uglnack eats the tube whole, and the orcs around him stare intently. All of the sudden, Uglnack's eyes start to buldge, and the orcs around him move back a couple steps. He drops his "sword" and falls to his knees before letting out a terrible scream. And then, Uglnack explodes. Blood and innards wash over everyone in sight. The orcs look at one another. Jared wipes the blood out of his eyes and says, "I also have cinnamon!"
THE END
Froggy: Message for Froggy: That would be so awesome to have a voicemail that says that, lol. To be cliché, most of the time, people with amnesia are hit in the head again in order to remember something. Only this time, I control what Legolas remembers and not, MWAHAHA.
Lindiel Eryn: Okay, the six-first kisses thing goes like this: Everyone has their first kiss, right? Well, Thaniel has been the first kiss of six different people, not necessarily from different races. You can't have more than one first kiss, but you can BE the first kiss of someone else, and to more than one person. ^_^
Kitten: Tch, no one cares about Shawn ^_^ And I love pansy Elves. They're so much fun to play with. I think I'll go play with them now, seeing as how I'm writing this past midnight. @.@ Computer screen madness!!!
Thanks everyone for reviewing, and I hope you liked this extra long chapter and the little scene of Jared as a dentist salesman. That has really nothing to do with the plot. It's just a funny picture, lol. In any case, I'll try to update asap if I can, I'll be doing lots of reading the next few weeks . But ya, more fun stuff next chapter! Leave some love! Or cookies!