Return to Middle Earth

Kayo

Chapter VI: Do Your Worst Mother Nature

Shawn found himself barely riding a horse through the Mirkwood forest. Alone. By himself. Left behind by the Elves that were supposed to watch him and help him and make fire for him since he didn't have a lighter. And of course, nice dark clouds were approaching. My freaking luck would have it…Shawn shifted on his horse – he never did find out its name, or if it was a boy or a girl. It didn't really matter though, did it?

He rode through the trees for a few more minutes, praying to whatever god that ruled Middle Earth that perhaps one of the blasted Elves had remembered the human, though he doubted if Vilarion or Auberlin would have the decency to come back and rescue him. They'd probably like it if his body were found all mangled and with horse bites in it. Now he was suspicious of the Elven horse. Horses were always herbivores in any world, right? No need to take a bite of human flesh…

A crack of lightening sounded through the forest, and thunder surely followed. Shawn's horse reared and neighed clearly freaked out by the unexpected storm. Shawn was sent falling off the horse's saddle and onto the hard ground. His horse sped forward, most likely towards the palace where it knew shelter was, leaving Shawn clutching his still stitched tummy. DAMNIT! He picked himself off the ground, brushing the leaves and dirt off his clothes. Once again, left in the forest to fend for myself. Brilliant. At least this time he had another shoe on. Legolas had given him a pair of boots that morning when they headed out. Oh and that dagger Thaniel gave him…best not to think of that freaky Elf right now though. And a cloak, but Shawn didn't want to wear is so he left it on the horse. And now the horse was gone. But he had boots!

"When I get my hands on you, Legolas…" Shawn started walking the way his horse ran. A sprinkle of rain started falling. Great…

::

Leading all the horses at a gallop allowed the party of Elves to reach the palace well before dark. Legolas lowered Thaniel into Vilarion's arms. Silmaril was close behind as Vilarion hurried through the gates and down one of the many halls. No time was wasted. Auberlin took care of the horses, and Legolas sped after his best friend.

He found him in one of the healing rooms reserved just for patients, though one of the better ones Legolas would have to say. A servant had already been given directions by Silmaril of what she needed done, and someone was sent to alert Thaniel's parents. They were both potters who disapproved of Thaniel's decision to take up the sword and destroy life. But in any case, they would want to see their son.

Thaniel's condition wasn't improving. He had a burning fever, and the blood wouldn't stop flowing no matter how much pressure was put on. Thaniel's eyes were closed in that unusual manner, and Legolas couldn't bear to watch as Silmaril came rushing back in with thread and a needle. No need to say what those were for. Against his will, Silmaril forced Legolas out of the room while she preformed her healing magic.

Legolas found himself standing in the hallway, clutching something in his hand. When he looked down, he saw that it was the pink bag that they had run into the forest to retrieve. The pink bag that that guy wanted them to find…why couldn't he remember his name? What was it again? The human with the weird shaped eyes and black shoulder length hair…Legolas almost felt like hitting his head against the wall. Would that jog his memory? Maybe if he looked through the bag; which would also get his mind off of Thaniel.

Legolas saw the little pieces of metal that spelt out the word "Chloe" (he vaguely wondered why he could read it) and worked his ways with the little button. Once it unsnapped, he pulled out the first thing he found: a brush. Hey a brush! Legolas gave his hair a couple strokes with that. This was a really nice brush! He could feel his hair becoming softer and perhaps shinier by the minute! Why was it that brushes from another world were better then the ones that Elves made? Hey, how did he know this brush was from another world?

Legolas was so confused. It was as if he was fighting to remember what all this meant to him. The pink bag, the name "Chloe," that human. And why was it so hot all of the sudden? Elves don't feel hot! They might BE hot, but they most certainly don't feel extreme temperatures…It was almost like that dream he had with that giant flaming eyeball. But why was he feeling it while he was awake? Could it be a daydream?

"SHAWN!" Elbereth, Legolas forgot about Shawn! He was still out in the woods, alone! And they hadn't killed all the spiders. A sudden crack of thunder warned Legolas that it was also raining out now, with lightening. Legolas ran from his spot, still clutching the bag and brush, and ran into Vilarion and Auberlin. They had returned from bringing the horses to the stable.

You must find Shawn! We left him in the forest! Vilarion and Auberlin looked at each other. They cursed Arda for letting Legolas remember the worthless human. That human had caused too much trouble for one day. From attacking the prince of Mirkwood (giving him a black eye that went nicely with the red from the poison ivy which was slowly healing) to making a search party go into the spider infested forest to find a stupid pink bag…

Yes, my prince. They both said. Legolas figured they would be a little ticked off that they had to go out and search in the rain, but they were the ones who were supposed to protect the human. And Shawn was stilled injured! He had those stitches in his stomach from the spider wound; which reminded Legolas of Thaniel.

He ran back to the room Thaniel was in, and Silmaril had apparently finished her work. He saw Thaniel lying on the bed, still quite unconscious, with a large bandage enveloping his shoulder and part of his chest. Silmaril did what she could, and now it was all up to time.

Legolas sat down in a chair by Thaniel's bedside. His eyes were unnaturally closed, something no Elf would ever be used to. There was a cool cloth on his forehead to bring down the fever. The least Legolas could do was make sure that his fever went down. That was basically the extent of his knowledge, other than how to bandage. Silmaril was the healer of the family, and Legolas the warrior.

Thaniel groaned in his sleep, most likely being haunted by nightmares. Legolas took his friend's hand and rubbed it gently.

It's alright, my friend. I am here for you. Just as you were with me. He gave a sad smile. This is always how it is, isn't it? One of us gets hurt, and the other is forced to wait for his recovery.

Thaniel, if you don't die, you can do anything you want. You can flirt with Shawn if you want! Just…don't die…please…

::

"I've got a knife!" yelled Shawn at a rogue squirrel. It had been following him for a while now. It was all creepy and black. Stupid squirrel. Another flash of lightning gave the reflection of red glowing eyes. "Oh snap," said Shawn, who started backing away slowly. When you started finding evil black squirrels with red eyes, you don't start threatening them. This is Middle-Earth…and Mirkwood…who the hell knows what a freaking squirrel could do.

The squirrel gave a couple chirps and hopped over some brush towards Shawn. He had the sudden thought of hanging the squirrel, but he didn't have any rope on him…other than his shoe laces…if he tried hard enough, he could totally take out the little bugger and hang it. A warning to all other red-eyed squirrels that Shawn Michael Star wouldn't settle for woodland creature stalking. The rain continued to fall as the sky lit up with another bolt of lightning. To Shawn's disappointment, the squirrel was gone.

Well…I might not get to hang it…but at least it stopped following me! Shawn put the dagger back into its pouch that looped around his pants. It had been maybe a good three hours since Shawn had seen any people…let alone Elves. Why did he have to end up in a world that hated him? Why was everyone against him? The weather, the Elves, the freaking squirrels and giant spiders!! At least those weren't around. They had run off in the opposite direction of the castle…Shawn just hoped he was going the right way.

Another rolling crack of thunder pierced his hearing. And the damn rain was making his hair all frizzy and go in his eyes. He reached down into his pockets. Maybe…just maybe…wait…yes? No, that wasn't an elastic. Of course not. Freaking world was against him. Perhaps that vine could work? It looked bendy…why not? Shawn took out the knife again (he was getting pretty good at brandishing it!) and started carefully cutting a strand that he could use to tie his hair back. Not in a girly way, he really just needed the hair out of his eyes. That was the ONLY reason why he was doing this. And anyway, the people in this world seemed to like having little ponytails and long hair, especially the guys. The girls just let their hair flow all over the place. It was so backwards. But in no time, he had a strand of vine and was working on tying his hair back…

"Ow! Damn leaf…" Shawn muttered as he finished off the knot. At least it worked. Yes, but chance would have it that just at that moment, the rain went from a downpour to absolute nothing. Whoever this Arda god thing was, Shawn was sure it was out to spite him. Either that or Tolkien's dead spirit.

Despite the lack of rain, a huge flash surrounded the forest, beaming through the canopy. Shawn jumped back as he heard the thunder only a few seconds later. This was getting just a little dangerous. Being underneath some hundred foot trees probably wasn't the best thing right now. Time to find some coverage. Oh look, a black squirrel running for its life. Follow the squirrel Shawn, follow it. And he did. Why? Because when animals get scared they head for safe places. So wherever this squirrel of death (most likely it was the evil one from before too) was going, it had to be better than standing with a metal knife in hand.

Dodging mud puddles and fallen branches wasn't the easiest thing Shawn had ever done, and the squirrel liked to jump and squeak a lot. Stupid squirrel. Then again, this squirrel could save his life. I love you squirrel. But if you try to eat me, I will hang you with my bare hands…and a knife. Shawn realized he must be pretty desperate to follow a squirrel to safety. Oh well, at least it was better than Auberlin or Vilarion making fun of him for his lack of survival skills.

Soon enough, Shawn came upon a nice little cave. Now everyone knows what a cave is, right? It's one of those rock places where animals curl up inside and it's nice and cool. Snakes like to go there too, kiddies. Does a Shawn go in a cave? Oh yes, a Shawn definitely goes into a cave even though he knows nothing about the inhabitants in there. Does a Shawn feel something furry under his hand? Oh yes, Shawn definitely feels something furry under his hand. And a Shawn jumps up and hits his head when he feels something furry under his hand, which puts Shawn into an unconscious state because only a stupid person jumps up in a cave that's three feet high.

And thus did Shawn end up unconscious in a cave with a black and red-eyed squirrel.

::

Several hours later, Legolas was still at Thaniel's bed. His parents had already been by. Though they despaired for their son, Silmaril's treatment proved to be effective and Thaniel was recovering. But his parent's love only ran so far. They had left only a little while ago to tend to another child of theirs; one that didn't kill innocent creatures.

Legolas shifted in his seat next to Thaniel. His eyes were still closed, but he looked peaceful. The prince could only smile when he saw Thaniel start to cuddle into the blanket and pillow. Only Thaniel would cuddle with a blanket with a stitched shoulder. Legolas thought it might be funny if Thaniel happened to wake up and have his arms wrapped around Shawn…if only Vilarion and Auberlin would find him…then he would have to get Shawn really drunk, which would be easy with Elvish wine. And not only that, but then Legolas would be keeping true to his word by letting Thaniel flirt with Shawn since he was recovering. Legolas was always true to his word and even though Shawn might hate him for a while, in retrospect, Shawn had let a lot of really bad things happen to him in Shawn's world. And so with that thought, Legolas left Thaniel's room with a slight bounce in his step.

And who better than for Legolas to run into than the one and only Vilarion. Legolas waved him down and the royal guard greeted his prince.

Prince Legolas, Vilarion started with a bow. We found that human you requested for unconscious in a cave not too far from the castle. Auberlin had him brought to Princess Silmaril for treatment, though he only seems to have hit his head. Legolas let a smile plaster his face, forgetting all about royal conduct.

Excellent! Have him room with Thaniel. Vilarion probably speculated Legolas's intentions, but agreed nonetheless. And don't tell my father unless he asks.

As you wish, majesty. As Legolas turned to prepare his prank, Vilarion grabbed his shoulder. There was one other thing, if you would be kind enough to listen. Legolas turned to face Vilarion again. The elder Elf stood aged in front of the young prince. A squirrel was found with the human which refused to leave him. It followed us and even rode on the human's shoulder as we brought him back. They seem to have some attachment to each other. His eyes grew serious. It is never a good thing when a dark creature of the forest attaches itself to a human. Be wary, my lord. And with that, Vilarion departed to deliver Legolas's commands to Auberlin.

Legolas stood in the middle of the hallway. Vilarion was becoming a little senile with his old age. He was, after all, older than his father, Thranduil. Maybe he should suggest that Vilarion retire? But that was a thing to worry about later. Legolas had to figure out how to move Shawn from one bed to another without waking him up. Oh the cleverness of Elves, or lack-there-of.

tbc…

Responses to Reviews:

MorgauseNokami: This prob won't be a slash story, but there will be some little tid bits that I'm sure people will enjoy! And as for English being easy to learn, you do have a point with Indo-European languages being harder, but I think it's more the grammar that's easy for a non-English speaking person to learn. There are just a lot of words for them to learn and sentence structures, etc…then again, I wouldn't really know considering English was my first language…lol…so…let's just say it's all a matter of opinion?

Coolio02: Yea I didn't update too soon did I? Sorry! I had some major issues with this chapter and with school and with some other stories that I'm currently working on (a slash and one with vampires yay!) I've been a busy little Kayo. But I'm glad you find this humorous!

QueenDiablo: I like your name! But hey, don't they mention that Thranduil has a beard in The Hobbit? I'm pretty sure, but I can't be certain. Even so, it's fanfiction, so if Thranduil has a beard, oh, he has a BRISTLY beard, lol. Yea, I like the twist too. Too many girls in LOTR fanfiction. Need more hot men. Need Shawn.

namarie2legolas: Can I just dip Leggy in some peanut butter and lick it off? Please? He needn't marry Mr. Itchycrotchy! And of course Legolas forgot Shawn. He's blonde!

Froggy: Uhh spiders ::shudder:: I agree with the killing of the spiders. Haha, Coffee Boy. Sounds like a super hero name. "If I could be a super hero, I'd be Coffee Boy/Drinking caffeine instead of liquor, I'd bring the world lotsa joy!" (tune to Steven Lynch song)

lolly pop3: Another Thaniel and Shawn scene next chapter! Hooray! And maybe I'll make Shawn into a woman and make him cook…hmmm…

Kitten: Thank you! Thaniel'll be alright. He can't die. He's too hot for me to kill off.

Das Blume: haha, make some fanart of like Merry and Pippin on stilts with signs showing "Hobbits Are People Too" to some Elves, and have Sam being kicked over by Frodo since Sam's a perv who wants Frodo in a bad way so he deserves to fall…into a puddle of mud, lol. But anyway, I didn't want Shawn to get any more injured than possible in this story since he already has a wound…though Thaniel would most definitely suck the poison out! I should so write what Thaniel is dreaming about next chapter, mwahaha, can anyone say slash bondage? KAYO CAN!

Lindiel Eryn: I'll try to clear up the Legolas quest thing: Yes, Legolas returns to Middle Earth during the time when he's off trying to find Merry and Pippin. No, there's only one Legolas in Middle Earth. No, the people don't remember that Legolas was on a quest because Legolas himself doesn't remember being on the quest, even though he is supposed to be on it right now, except for Shawn who remembers everything. This will all be explained later on. But I hope I helped you a bit!

maiden of the mist: I like your spiffy little dance of appreciation. Here's my spiffy little dance of getting this chapter done! ::does a lil jig::

WeasleyTwinsLover1112: Hitting princes is fun. I think it will become a fad in the near future.

asp: haha, true. Who has the worst situation? Getting hit on by two girls who try to rape you? Or getting hit on my a pansy Elf? Hmm…I think Shawn got the worst end of the deal.

Lolly: If you die laughing, you'll be my favoritist person in the world! Lol, that's so cool how you dubbed Shawn your "fav OC"!! That makes me so proud of him! And Shawn loves you back, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend!

Okay so I took a really long sabbatical…but now I have a better idea of what I'm gonna do with this story, which is good since most of the time I was just pulling it out of the air! And so I leave you with a request: review…and don't throw any rotten fruit? Lol (Thanks to MorgauseNokami for leaving the review that made me get off my lazy ass!)